Please don't feed PickleMan
Please don't feed PickleMan
About Us Store Advertising Contact New to I-Mockery? Register an account and join in the pickled fun! New to I-Mockery? Register an account and join in the pickled fun!


by: Killing Joke

Ok... by reading this title, you must be thinking to yourself, "he must only like stupid people!" Well... thatís not exactly true! Sure, I believe that reading and furthering oneís mind is a wonderful thing to do, because it helps human race slowly reach to the next level evolution. This is something all capable people should achieve, no matter what level of education they have reached. Wonderful, right? So whatís the problem?!

I believe that plenty of these so-called "intelligent" people are nothing but wolves in sheeps' clothing. They are merely putting on this grand faÁade of intelligence to impress their friends at parties or to look better in front chicks, trying to hide their true stupidity in a ruse to get laid more often. These people (which tend to be of the male gender), will prattle on and on about their knowledge in subjects as reading Plato or any other philosopher you can think of. But if you listen closely you will notice that all of their quotes are normally from the first 30 pages of the book they're referring to, or itís directly quoted in boldface in any copy of Cliffs Notes. Why? You may ask. Itís because they are too dense past those pages and wish to read some of the book for the purpose of merely showing off or they are too ignorant to finish the book all by themselves. Which is sad, due to the fact that these books were never meant to be used in that type of fashion. Not to mention, quoting writings out of context is simply disgusting!

Cliff's REAL Note
Perhaps we should just title every single
Cliffs Notes book just like this, eh?

Where can these people be found? Well, one place is in our colleges, it really doesnít matter what major you look at, theyíll be there. I was a history major, and these folks would never shut the fuck up! I normally called them the "scholars," these people with disgustingly elitist egos would ALWAYS try to show off in front of the classroom, by yapping on and on about something unimportant to people who are well aware of his astounding stupidity. However nothing was more gratifying than proving these people wrong, they would normally shut the hell up and go cower in some corner.

The only thing that would feel better to me, is if I could give them a resounding bitch-slap in the mouth to shut them up permanently! Another place these types of people are easily found in the underground music culture these days. Let it be "intellectual punks" or "smart metalheads" who canít simply just enjoy the music the way it was but they must constant criticize it on some aspect, and then go, "it was better in the (enter your favorite decade here)." Ironically enough, most of these people become music journalists or worse, people who work in the music industry! Please, god... someone kill them now!

There is definite difference between people who are intelligent, and people that are just trying to act smart. Truly intelligent people donít need to try to flex their intellectual muscle at any given moment to impress complete strangers. Hell... they donít even need to go to college to be like that. Iíve met people that work 48 hours in a week at 7-11 that are smarter than people who are honor roll students in good colleges. So, if you brag about yourself being a smart person, or try to fake it, just shut the hell up and act like a normal educated being. If you donít, youíll only look like the biggest moron known to man. Just remember this... no one cares about what you are saying. Just act Iíll leave you with a quote that I heard somewhere and I canít remember the source, but it applies nicely to this rant. It goes like this: 

"The jar with the fewest beans... rattles the loudest!"

note: Killing Joke himself is a few beans short of a jar, but we gave him a "shiny gold star" sticker for the hard work he put into this rant!

Come talk about this piece in our forums!

Back To Visionary Darkness Main

[Minimocks] [Articles] [Games] [Mockeries] [Shorts] [Comics] [Blog] [Info] [Forum] [Advertise] [Home]

Copyright © 1999-2007 I-Mockery.com : All Rights Reserved : (E-mail)
No portion of I-Mockery may be reprinted in any form without prior consent
We reserve the right to swallow your soul... and spit out the chewy parts.