Weeklies

Artist: "The Elm Street Group"
Album: "Freddy's Greatest Hits"
Genre: Miscellaneous
Label: RIC Records

Reviewer: -RoG-
Posted: 9/22/2008

Review: "Freddy's Greatest Hits" was a novelty album from 1987 with the clear intent of cashing in on the big Freddy Krueger craze at the time. Believe me, when I saw this album hit store shelves, I simply HAD to have it. It didn't even matter that it wasn't released on CD (a crazy new technology I had just started getting into at the time), all that mattered was that Freddy was on the cover. To give you a little more insight into just how crazy the Freddy fandom was at the time, whenever a new Nightmare on Elm Street movie came out, I would cut the ads for it out of the newspaper and tack it up on my wall. Not just one ad, but literally every ad from every paper until they stopped running them. That is how much I was into Freddy at the time. So it should be no surprise that this album had me hook, line and sinker before I had a chance to listen to it.

So, when I brought the tape cassette home, I eagerly threw it in my old Yorx boombox (with a built-in b&w TV screen, oooo!) and prepared myself to be aurally obliterated by a musical horror masterpiece. Instead, what I was horrified on an entirely different level... this album was absolutely awful.

First off, claiming that these are "Freddy's Greatest Hits" is definitely a misleading title, because the razor-fingered madman is hardly anywhere to be found on these songs other than in the occasional voice-over. Instead, you have an awful dance album (performed by the Elm Street Group - generic pop singers) that will make you want to jab Freddy's razors right into your ears. If you listen to "Do The Freddy" you'll be astounded by how many times they play the exact same Krueger laugh track during the song. Talk about a nightmare. Also, to this day, I have no idea what the song "Wooly Booly" is doing on this album. It's completely out of place.

"Freddy's Greatest Hits" is an utterly cheesy novelty dance party album, and I'd only recommend picking up a copy if you're into collecting old Elm Stret memorabilia. You certainly can't go wrong with that album cover, just understand that the music found within doesn't really have Robert Englund singing... he just laughs a lot and interjects some random one-liners here 'n there. Oddly enough, as bad as some of the music is, I can't help but feel like you still need to have at least song or two from it in your Halloween music playlist, if for no other reason than it will make all your other spooky tunes that much more enjoyable.

Click here to listen to "Do The Freddy" so you can see what you've been missing out on all these years.

Overall rating: WholeHalf
(Scored on a 0.5 - 5 pickles rating: 0.5 being the worst and 5 being the best)

Reader Comments

Last of the Time Lords
Sep 22nd, 2008, 07:33 AM
Heh. I've actually listened to this one all the way through. X-Entertainment had a review of it once, and made the entire album available.

It was horrible beyond belief, but I still got a kick out of it. Mostly because the singers had this cheerful, bouncy 1980s teeny-bopper tone that suggested they were crooning about bubble-yum and pocket rockers. Not a child killing nightmare psycho.

Honestly, it was like Alvin & the Chipmunks singing happy songs about Charles Manson. I kept imagining these teenage girls with denim jackets, acid washed jeans, and 80s perms rocking out over the antics of a serial killer. Hilarious.

Even funnier, listen to it and imagine that it's the characters from Jem and the Holograms (sounds like them anyway) and Freddy is doing a guest appearance on their show for a Halloween episode. That's a crossover I would pay a thousand dollars to see.
lurking on the walls
Sep 22nd, 2008, 11:03 AM
all i could handle was 20 seconds of that "do the freddy" song.... atleast they didn't do one with Jason.....please tell me they didn't
1.21 Gigawatts!!!
Sep 22nd, 2008, 11:27 AM
Maybe if Dokken was on there it would be better.
You'll thank me later...
Sep 22nd, 2008, 12:30 PM
I'm trying to come up with a post that doesn't just berate x-entertainment...

That said, this is perfectly awful, I sort of love it.
Member
Sep 22nd, 2008, 01:29 PM
Do The Freddy has officially been added to the halloween anthology I'm working on
Pickled Patriarch
Sep 22nd, 2008, 02:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by saturnknight View Post
all i could handle was 20 seconds of that "do the freddy" song.... atleast they didn't do one with Jason.....please tell me they didn't
Nope, they didn't. Well... not yet at least. Jason doesn't have to worry about these kind of albums primarily because he doesn't speak. Few movie maniacs are as vocal as our razor-fingered pal Frederick.

Quote:
Originally Posted by McFly View Post
Maybe if Dokken was on there it would be better.
Absolutely. Having DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince and The Fat Boys raps about Freddy on the album wouldn't hurt either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by seesawbooy View Post
Do The Freddy has officially been added to the halloween anthology I'm working on
Haha excellent. I have a feeling a lot of people will opt to skip that one... but I don't care, it needs to be on every Halloween music compilation.
lurking on the walls
Sep 22nd, 2008, 05:22 PM
well, they'd splice the "kill" sound effect, or what ever it is in the Jason movies, i think, which wouldn't really be too awsome, you know?
is hopped up on goofballs
Sep 22nd, 2008, 07:18 PM
Holy crap...if it weren't for the horrible synth and obviously electric drum kit, I'd think 'Do the Freddy' was a bad 50's song.
I am Johnny Luchador
Sep 22nd, 2008, 09:04 PM
I shot my wife and dog with a low caliber pistol after listening to this song. I guess freddy got his wish.
Star Man
Sep 23rd, 2008, 01:07 AM
Oh god... They made so much random crap about horro icons like Freddy it's not even funny. As if a NES game wasn't enough, they decided an album would be awesome!
pickled
Sep 24th, 2008, 08:15 PM
This could have totally been an "Albums That Sucked!" article
Freak Power
Sep 25th, 2008, 01:36 AM
Hell, don't know if you remember it RoG but even Will Smith in his "Fresh Prince" mode had cashed in on the "Freddy Hype" with 'Nightmare on My Street' where ole Fresh Prince went toe-to-toe with Freddy...

And BTW: My ears are bleeding now after that HORRIBLE 'Do the Freddy' song... Please in the future but a warning on something like that that sez "May Cause Sterility in Animals and/or Permanant Tone Deafness." That shit could curdle milk at 50 meters.
Pickled Patriarch
Sep 25th, 2008, 01:42 AM
Nick, maybe it will be some day.

Fear N Loathing, oh yeah, I know all about the "Nightmare on My Street" track... it's my absolute favorite Freddy tune! A while back, I posted a poll for people to vote on their favorite Freddy rap, the DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince one or the Fat Boys one. You can vote on and listen to them both here:
http://www.i-mockery.com/halloween/rap-vote.php
Member
Sep 25th, 2008, 05:07 AM
My mom got this for me on vinyl during the 80s and I still have it in good condition, mainly because I only listened to it probably three times in my entire life. Insanely awful cheese-synth-pop, if they just had the actual songs instead of the America Funniest Home Videos Band inspired renditions with Freddy overdubs thrown here and there it wouldn't be THAT worthless, but the album cover is truly badass. Uh hey want a good Halloween album: Crypticus - They Called Me Mad!!
Member
Sep 25th, 2008, 06:47 PM
I'm currently making my own Freddy's Greatest Hits album with the songs from the movies that are actually good.

The original theme song
Nightmare
Dream Warriors
Anything Anything
Nightmare on My Street
Are You Ready For Freddy
Why Was I Born?
and Do The Freddy because its awesomely bad
Clap if you love Dynamo
Sep 27th, 2008, 11:50 PM
The feeling you describe reminds me of the Simpsons sing the Blues album and how many people felt after shelling out hard earned cash on it.