Why
Raves Must Be Destroyed
by: Dj Shitcake
I went to my first (and only) rave a little while ago
(it was called FLIGHT™ for those of you who care or
were unfortunate enough to be at it too)....IT WAS ONE
OF THE MOST PATHETIC THINGS I HAVE EVER WITNESSED. I had
been to the Trocadero, in Philadelphia, once before and
saw a computer music type band, Sister Machine Gun, play
there and it was one of the best shows I've ever seen.
Unfortunately, this trip to the Troc was nothing like
the last one. I'm just glad it's over with. I got sick
after I got back from the rave because of all the damned
smoke and crap that surrounded me while I was there. The
only reason I even went was to do a report on it for a
music class I was taking at the time.
Everyone at the rave seemed to single me out as
"The guy who must be a drug dealer". I guess I
have "the drug dealer look" because I was
standing up against the wall with like 20 other people
standing right next to me. But people would walk up to
ONLY ME and ask me if I had any acid or weed or "extasy"
(I hope I spelled that right and didn't offend any of
you people who do that stuff. Wait what am I saying, I
hope I pissed you off BIG TIME if I spelled it
incorrectly. DIE DRUGGIE DIE!). I don't know what I did
that made people think I was a drug dealer, but that
only made the evening more annoying. I had to stay from
midnight until roughly 6am at the thing. It was also the
WORST techno music I have ever heard, it was so basic it
wasn't even funny. It was mostly repetitive drum beats,
you know, the typical "THUD THUD THUD THUD"
drum beat. And then there was plenty o' bass to
accompany it. This is why I hated the music. Most techno
music I've listened to has a lot more keyboards and
changes in it, but this music just bored the hell out of
me.
One of the DJ's got in a fight with someone too
because some guy bumped his table and made one of the
tracks skip or something...Which was funny because
everyone at the raves are supposed to be "high 'n
happy" and kind to each other (just like those
damned hippies). I actually noticed that most ravers,
but not all, take A LOT of offense to my
sarcastic/criticizing remarks about the rave. One of my
friends, who I won't name because he'd probably get mad
if I mentioned his name, got in an argument with me
recently. It's fine because he can take my remarks and
all, but we argued this point: He believes raves are far
from being "mainstream™" and I do not. First
of all, I don't think there is anything wrong with being
mainstream, but he really got serious when we argued
this point. When I see THAT many people going to rave's
all the time, I'd say it's mainstream, just like a lot
of the music I listen to. So I don't see any problem
with that. I'm always amused with those people who try
their hardest to find the worst music in the world to
listen to just so they can say, "At least I'm not
mainstream". Come on folks, How stupid is that?
Listen to what sounds good to you. Oh well, back to the
rave itself.
I had people trying to give me acid stickers, some
guy actually tried to put one on me to force me to try
to get me high (probably so he could steal my wallet or
something), but I shoved him out of the way and
threatened to kill him if he did it again. We also had
to wait in line for an hour just to get into the thing
and it was sub-zero temperatures with the wind chill.
Plus it started raining, ugh... I'm just glad I was on
the guest list so I didn't have to pay the 10 bux that
everyone else had to do. I would have been even angrier
had I paid 10 bux for that huge waste of time. You know,
I've heard classical music makes you smarter and it's
good to listen to when you study. Well I think the music
that was played at this club had just the opposite
effect. I couldn't believe some of the morons at this
thing. People tried to look different as they possibly
could (which made them all the same in fact). There were
stupid girls with barely anything on and then they're
standing outside in line wondering why they are so cold
(hopefully they got pneumonia).
I must admit, there were some humorous times during
the evening. You know those glow-sticks that you bend
and then they glow with a neon green color for a long
time? The same things that kids carry around with them
on Halloween and stuff. Well one guy had one of them in
his mouth to make himself look really weird. Actually, I
saw a few people with them in their mouths, but this guy
made quite a big mistake. He didn't take into account
that he might accidentally chew on it....so it burst and
he had tons of glowing green drool coming out of his
mouth mouth and ran outside. That was the last I saw of
him. I can't tell you how funny it was seeing the green
stuff drip from his mouth. I think that green stuff is
toxic too, isn't it? It had to be one of the most
hilarious things I've ever seen in my life.
My friend had a nice scare when he was sitting
against the wall as a cockroach climbed down his shirt.
I guess that was his cue to stop standing against the
wall with me, cuz he went to dance or something. Oh
yeah, the dancing. Besides that I think dancing is a
stupid thing to begin with, the club owners LET EVERYONE
into this rave. I believe they even sold extra tickets
at the door that night. Some of the people were too
young to be around all those drugs anyway. Then again,
nobody should have to be around that shite at any age if
ya ask me. So, it was WAY too overcrowded and everyone
was wondering why they had no room to dance. They should
have just said, "Forget this, if we can't dance,
lets hurt each other!" and started a mosh pit
instead. Although I think moshing is really stupid too,
it would have been amusing to see a bunch of people that
were "tripping" trying to push and shove and
kill each other. I can see that guy with the glow-stick
in his mouth getting shoved in the mosh pit and then
accidentally swallowing the thing and winds up with a
glowing stomach for the rest of his life.
I don't mean to compare this Flight™ rave to all
the other raves, I'm sure there are some where people
can say they had a good time. I'm sure there are raves
that I might find the music to be better because much of
the music I listen to is computer-influenced (if not
totally computer-generated). Still, this rave is all I
really wanted/needed to know about the activities that
go on during a rave. At least, it backed up my hatred
for the mixing of drugs and dancing even more. I'm sure
most people that are into raves and stuff will not
appreciate this article in the least bit, but would you
rather me lie to ya? I mean, even most of the people at
this rave thought it was a bad one. We're talking about
people who go to rave's 2-3 times a week most of the
time. They thought it was bad, so I guess it was my
horrible luck that I happened to be at the worst rave in
the history of the world. Honestly though, I have heard
MUCH better techno music than I heard at this one. Ok
that's all that I have to say about raves. I'm gonna go
read the paper now and see if there are any good bagpipe
bands coming around here anytime soon! Aye! |