The Raver Holocaust
by: MC Urine Sponge

Raves…the rave culture…house music….ravers! Bleh! They all make me sick! Ravers are nothing more but a bunch of adolescents looking for an excuse to get fucked up on some drugs and get laid. Ravers are no different than the new age "Deadheads" (or pardon me, "Phish-heads") that wander around America for the exact same thing…sex and drugs! But instead nasty hippie chicks putting out for weed, it's now nasty-assed rave girls (or guys, I-Mockery should be should be fair) putting out for ecstasy and K! Yessiree, this sure is the life! 

I mean come on…you have to be pretty fucked up to enjoy that shitty music for eight hours straight. A person with severe bleeding head trauma on a Casio keyboard could write better music than that! Can it even be called music? It's more like the repetitious 16th drum beat over and over again. How does one ever differentiate when one song is over and it's not the same music being played over again? Geez! Has anyone heard of the concept of proper songwriting?! Nooooo! That's too hard to think of! Like it really matters…these brain dead legions couldn't think of writing a chorus or even a bridge even if they wanted to. "Yeah…this sixteenth beat, is a lot more exciting than the other one I heard!" Do these people even deserve to exist?! NO!

That's way the concept of the Rave Holocaust is so plausible to the masses. It's not like we are talking about eradicating the most intelligent people in the world; we're far away from that! I mean, most of the raver's brain cells have been wasted away at this point that they have devolved to the point of pleasure and breathing. Not much else! We are talking about the bottom of the food chain here people! I think the barnacle that you scrape off the bottom of a boat or the plaque that you brush off your teeth has more significance in the world than these losers! So make sure if you see a raver on the street while you are driving, make sure to run him over (multiple times if you like). It'll do the world a whole lot of good. Will you get in trouble with the police for this action? I seriously doubt it, since the police force is completely behind our movement. They might ask you to mail in a eight dollar fee to cover the paperwork. But you will be free to slaughter as many hapless ravers with no jail time. So support the Raver Holocaust! It's legal!

As another part of the extensive program that is the Raver Holocaust, I have now made it a mission to close down every single rave I hear about! I'm lucky because I know a lot of rave people and they do NOT know of my deceitful plans to destroy them. I have already clued the police in on over 78 raves, and they have been all closed down! All up and down the East Coast, I get to see these Raves close down, and a big smile arrives on my face! My dear readers, I can't do all of it alone…YOU must also join in on the world-wide shut down of these events. Just think, you might be able to make some money off of it too? Just call your "crime-hotline" and give them the tip! It'll be easy cashola for you! By calling in the police as soon you hear about these gatherings, you are giving the human race a chance to evolve properly!

Could there be any reason not to support the extermination of this vermin? Not unless you're dead! So by all means email us and show us your support in ridding the world of this disgusting class of people. Or, if you wish to remain anonymous, you can send your check or money order to "The www.I-Mockery.com Offical Raver HATE Campaign" and we put it to good use.