Ask Willie

[Tadao]

Willie seems like the only person here I would trust to give me answers that I need, not necessarily the ones I want.

Dear Willie,
Is there a thread to post pictures I find amusing and/or should I create on if there isn't.

:loveTadao

[executioneer]

make a new one or post it in the chat room thread i guess

but THIS thread should have been in questions and suggestions :x

[Fathom Zero]

Hey willie, what's your highest score?

[executioneer]

14740, for the word "frumps"

[kahljorn]

I FIND THIS THREAD INTELLECTUALLY SATISFYING :posh

[Shyandquietguy]

I'm going to call you Wills Bill, do you like being called Wills Bill?

Wills Bill! Wills Bill! Wills Bill! :eek

[executioneer]

do you like being called mr advenutres relative :eek

[Shyandquietguy]

I find it too long, though on the other hand I like saying "Wills Bill", but yeah I don't mind.

I'll post any other names I can think of though, Wills Bill. :D Heck, I think this whole idea should be a seperate thread! 8*D

P.S. Jigaboo!

[executioneer]

WIRKUS >:o

[ElPila666]

Mr Willie can you tell me the meaning of life?

[ElPila666]

Also, exist life after BAN?

[executioneer]

MAYBE

[Dixie]

Dear Willie,
What do penguins think about while being disemboweled by leopard seals?

[executioneer]

"i hope my beak gets lodged in his throat and he chokes, the son of a bitch"

[Chojin]

dear willie,

what do you think of professional wrestling

[executioneer]

i think it's not as bad as scientology

[Esuohlim]

do vegans eat eggs

[executioneer]

no because ska sucks

[Chojin]

how do you feel about winning the popularity contest with 9 votes when chojin only got two

[executioneer]

i h* it

[executioneer]

addendum to previous answer: i liked pro wrestling a lot better when andy kaufman was doin it

[Dixie]

Dear Willie,
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

[executioneer]

man i seriously did this one time

i think it was uhh 134

[Tadao]

Dear Willie,

What will I die from?

[executioneer]

coyotes will get you

[Fathom Zero]

Favorite Achewood character? Mine's Nice Pete.

[executioneer]

if i had to choose i would say lie bot i guess?

[Girl Drink Drunk]

Willie, do you do Karaoke requests?

[executioneer]

mmmaybe

when i'll actually get it online is another thing since i haven't gone since new years

[MLE]

Willie, would you let me paint your nails?

[executioneer]

only the toesies

[MLE]

<3!

[Fat_Hippo]

Dear Willie,
why do you be so smart?

[executioneer]

because depression makes you smarter

[Tadao]

This is a two part question.
If I start flaming in Art Shit, will MLE come back? Would the punishment equal the length in which she would stay?

[executioneer]

i think if you sent her a nice pm it might work better :c

[Fathom Zero]

Dear Willie,

What's your gamertag?

[executioneer]

well i bought a used xbox360 w/ 6 months of live already on it so until i get enough points to change it it's something like xXMAILMAN16Xx i think

[Fathom Zero]

:lol

[executioneer]

i will probably change it to AngriestMonster when the time comes

[bigtimecow]

willie, can you link me to the video of you eating your beard?

[executioneer]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VaFAnBZt1hg

[MetalMilitia]

Dear Willie,

What film are you most looking forward to watching in the near future?

Thanks.

[executioneer]

probly the dark knight :-[

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

What do you dislike the most about work?

[executioneer]

i hate when there is a goal i'm trying to reach and the machines refuse to cooperate :(

[sloth]

dear willie

do you have a 'baby face' you use to amuse small children, and if so can you share it with the forum so i can print it out and show it to babies so hot chikcs think im good with kids

thanks

[executioneer]

i don't really have one and if i did i probably couldnt make it cause my face is all swollen up atm :( apologies

[MetalMilitia]

If you could trade lives with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?

Thanks.

[executioneer]

verne troyer, i always wanted to be a miget

[glowbelly]

willie, if i met you would you talk to me or would you clam up and pretend i wasn't there?

[executioneer]

i don't really know! i'd probably be able to talk to you some it all depends on my total anxiety level :( haha if it's somewhere i can have a drink or two then definitely ;(

[bigtimecow]

WILLIE

were you a fan of the f*ck you b*tch comics?

[executioneer]

yes indeed i am also a fan of early conan the comic strip (http://www.earlyconan.com)

[bigtimecow]

i've been reading those on the novirginsallowed blogspot

but thank you!

[Dixie]

Dear Willie:
What does one require to rule the universe?

[executioneer]

well the most important thing is determination, i'd bet

[pac-man]

Coke or Pepsi?

[executioneer]

jolt :(

[Esuohlim]

Willie are there, in your opinion, any bad Primus albums?

[executioneer]

i wasn't thrilled with the cd portion of animals should not behave like people :/ also tales from the punchbowl only has like four or five good tracks

[Pub Lover]

yes indeed i am also a fan of early conan the comic strip (http://www.earlyconan.com)

What did you think of the commentaries when you read them?

[executioneer]

i liked em! i also liked the commentaries on Coulter/Clapton (http://coulterclapton.blogspot.com/) but those are on a different forum :x

http://bp3.blogger.com/_yyt2Nu7l5oE/SC3Kb7OhMNI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/GkKF1MJkhB8/s400/040.jpg

[Asila]

Willie-
Why?

[executioneer]

cause i left my phone at home today :(

[MLE]

Willie- Why doesn't my atari 2600 work?

[executioneer]

cause its old as shit :( does it show anything on the screen when it's on, or does it show the same thing on or off, cause if it's doing anything to the display it's prob. a bad connection somewhere between the cartridge and the rest of it, you could try cleaning the cartridge / wiggling it a little once it's plugged in

[MLE]

Nope, almost no different when it's plugged in correctly and on the correct channel. The static changes slightly, but the connections have been used with other retro systems and have been proven to work.

[executioneer]

yeah it's probably broke then :( it may have caught a power spike or somesuch in the year it was plugged in and unattended and gotten fried, or something

[HungryWantBiddy]

Willie, did you miss me? :)

[executioneer]

yes and i would appreciate it if you would stop bobbing and weaving so much next time it makes it hard to draw a bead

[liquidstatik]

willie do you make it rain?

[executioneer]

if chaos theory has anything to say about it, yeah

i mean i'm loads bigger than a dang butterfly after all

[MLE]

willie, do you love me?

[bigtimecow]

willie, willie?

[executioneer]

willie, do you love me?

i love what you've done with the place!

[executioneer]

willie, willie?
ohhh yeah, we gotta go
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

[Pub Lover]

WILLIE, IS... IS RAMSES SMUCKLES... ...GAY? :|

[executioneer]

not this week

[Kybo Ren]

Dear Willie-

[Kybo Ren]

What is the best Mr. Bungle Album/EP/Demo/Recording?

[Sacks]

Willie, I'm raw as Africa and when I saw your beard I knew you were too. It seems like a lady just doesn't know what to do with a man who is raw as Africa and she will just run behind his back and fuck dudes all day long and have the nerve to cry while she's telling him about it. Wille what can us dudes who are raw as Africa do to deal with the shortcomings of the fairer(yeah right!) sex?

[executioneer]

What is the best Mr. Bungle Album/EP/Demo/Recording?
california, maybe? idk havent heard the eps or demos etc

i like the S/T a bunch too

[executioneer]

Willie, I'm raw as Africa and when I saw your beard I knew you were too. It seems like a lady just doesn't know what to do with a man who is raw as Africa and she will just run behind his back and fuck dudes all day long and have the nerve to cry while she's telling him about it. Wille what can us dudes who are raw as Africa do to deal with the shortcomings of the fairer(yeah right!) sex?

walk away, i guess :(

[Sacks]

:tear

[executioneer]

haha although i usually do all my walking away preemptively so take that how you will :(

[HungryWantBiddy]

I lol'd. Well played.

[Kybo Ren]

Dear Willie-
Why do beards get a bad rap? (In Starcom all the villains have them, or are robots.)
_________________________________________

Mr. Bungle:

The Raging Wrath of the Easter Bunny (heaviest Bungle!)
Bowel of Chili
OU818
Mr. Bungle
Live Berekely 1991 (Welcome back Kotter)
Live & Rare (Star Wars medley)
Disco Volante
Live 1992 Anaheim
Live 1995 Chicago (3rd floor dungeon)
California
Live Atlanta 1999 (Vanity Fair has metal verse)
Live House of Blues 1999 (Pee Wee Herman Theme- Brass section plays! no nothing right now, Mr. Herman)
__________________________________________________ __________

[Tadao]

Hey Willie, long time asker, first time listener here. My question is about the douche bag above me. Should I add (and throw in your two cents as well) to your thread title? I think you answers are like Turduckin. Even if you feel that it's wrong and goes against your there is enough for ereryone and you better fucking eat it after all the effort put into it and you're the one who came over anyways.

[Dixie]

Dearest and fluffiest Willie,
What does your beard taste like today?

[Sacks]

Willie I can't get behind any of these presidential candidates! Be it Yawn McCain or Barack "Oh Brother!", neither excite me! What is it this country needs to do to make politics more exciting?

[executioneer]

Dearest and fluffiest Willie,
What does your beard taste like today?

head and shoulders :x

[executioneer]

Willie I can't get behind any of these presidential candidates! Be it Yawn McCain or Barack &quot;Oh Brother!&quot;, neither excite me! What is it this country needs to do to make politics more exciting?

gladiatorial combat

[Pub Lover]

Mister M, do you have dandruff in your beard? :eek

[executioneer]

no but i have it in my reg. hair and i'll be danged if i'm gonan get different shampoo for my face hair

[Evil Robot]

Have I done enough to hide my plants from helicopters?

[executioneer]

yep now all you need is a good supply of 99% isopropyl alcohol, try safeway if they have those in your area

[Sacks]

Eddie and The Cruisers or Eddie and The Cruisers II: Eddie Lives?

[executioneer]

i've never seen either one of those but odds are decent that the sequel is probably worse :(

[DevilWearsPrada]

How are you doing, fella

[executioneer]

eh *shrugz shoulderz*

[Evil Robot]

How now brown cow?

[Esuohlim]

I seriously injured myself today, should I go to a doctor or make a thread about it?

[executioneer]

it's time that heals all wounds, not the internet

although that expression doesn't really account for massive hemorrhage so idk

[Dimnos]

Exactly at what point does hemorrhaging become massive hemorrhaging?

[executioneer]

i think you should probably ask a doctor that quetsion, especially if you've got a hemorrhage that you're unsure of

[Dimnos]

Wait... I thought you were a doctor

[Fathom Zero]

Willie, are you a doctor?

If not, have you ever been a pilot?

[executioneer]

i'm afraid not, no :(

[Sam]

Willie do you think Milhouse's injury was FALSIFIED and he just made it up so he could ask you a question?

[executioneer]

i think he was making fun of gw :x

[MetalMilitia]

Is guitar woman REALLY a woman with a vagina and everything?

[executioneer]

only in that alternate reality where everyone's the opposite sex

[MetalMilitia]

All the fantasy MMOs then.

[wobzire]

Dear Willie;

Is There Hope For JackOfAllTrades Yet?

[executioneer]

i think his names jakeofalltrades, and unfortunately there probably is

[wobzire]

Well that clears that up. Next question;

Will people ever get used to the "NEW" facebook?

[Grislygus]

Better question: I don't have a Capital One card, why am I not fighting vikings?

[Sam]

Best question: I am a viking and I am looking for someone who doesn't have a Capital One card so I can burn their house down and rape their women folk, do you know anyone looking for that kind of thing?

[Dixie]

Dear Willie,
What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

[kahljorn]

Willie,
why would a person lick their arm hair in public around people like some kind of cat?

[bigtimecow]

WILLIE IS THIS TOO MANY QUESTIONS FOR THE QUEUE

[Tadao]

Followup Question: I'm a Viking, will I qualify for a Capital One card?

[wobzire]

Dear Willie;

What is your opinion on the new Vikings vs. Capital One Clients app. on FaceBook.

[Esuohlim]

Willie are there too many viking and Capital One related questions for the queue

[Dixie]

Dear Willie,
What do vikings use as money?

[Sam]

Dear Willie,
What do people who have Capital One cards use as money?

[executioneer]

WILLIE IS THIS TOO MANY QUESTIONS FOR THE QUEUE

YES

[executioneer]

Better question: I don't have a Capital One card, why am I not fighting vikings?

vikings only attack people who have filmed themselves sliding across a car hood :publover

[executioneer]

Well that clears that up. Next question;

Will people ever get used to the &quot;NEW&quot; facebook?

people got used to the OLD facebook?

[executioneer]

Best question: I am a viking and I am looking for someone who doesn't have a Capital One card so I can burn their house down and rape their women folk, do you know anyone looking for that kind of thing?

man can i come with it sounds like a blast
i guess that means uh no not really

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,
What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

ben and jerrys half baked

[executioneer]

Willie,
why would a person lick their arm hair in public around people like some kind of cat?

I JUST NOTICED I DRIPPED CHILI ON IT OK GEEZ

[executioneer]

Followup Question: I'm a Viking, will I qualify for a Capital One card?

did you buy $1500 on a best buy card and default on it, cause if not probably

[executioneer]

Dear Willie;

What is your opinion on the new Vikings vs. Capital One Clients app. on FaceBook.

totally gay

[executioneer]

Willie are there too many viking and Capital One related questions for the queue

MASHUPS THREAD :eek

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,
What do vikings use as money?

fingernails

j/k they use these
http://www.bbc.co.uk/history/trail/conquest/images/coin_cnut_york_ob.jpg

[executioneer]

Dear Willie,
What do people who have Capital One cards use as money?

fairy dust and promises

jk they use these http://internetpictures.com/dilbertporn.png

[RaNkeri]

Dear Willie,

Who's the black private dick
that's a sex machine to all the chicks?

[executioneer]

all dicks, black or otherwise, are private and you should know that by now

how many times are you going to embarass yourself in public before you learn

[RaNkeri]

Dear Willie,

Can ya dig it?

[executioneer]

digging gives me carpal tunnel, you do it

[Fathom Zero]

Dear Willie,

If you were a fish, what would I use to bait you?

[executioneer]

fun size snickers

[Dixie]

Dear Willie,
What kind of zombie should I be for Halloween this year?

[executioneer]

pediatric nurse

[Tadao]

Willie,
Am I being to much of a jerk?

[executioneer]

there's no such thing as too much of a jerk, at least not on this message board

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dear Willie,

what should I do on my four day weekend?

[executioneer]

build a tree fort!

[glowbelly]

DEAREST WILLIE,
SHOULD I SWEAR OFF MEN AND THEN IN A HILARIOUS TURN OF EVENTS GET DRUNK, HAVE A ONE-NIGHT STAND, GET PREGNANT, HAVE THE BABY AND THEN MARRY DUDE AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER?
THANKS,
KAREN

[executioneer]

you should only do half of those things!

[Guitar Woman]

Willie, is it legal for someone you know, say, your parents, to make you register to vote when you don't want to or care, and use your vote so they can vote twice?

Because that doesn't sound right to me.

[executioneer]

i'm pretty sure it isn't!

[Guitar Woman]

Awesome!

I'll vote for McCain just to spite them.

[executioneer]

you should vote for mcclain instead maybe he'll do another boigah report

[Sam]

YOU SHOULD SELL YOUR VOTE ON EBAY!

[DevilWearsPrada]

YOU'RE NOT WILLIE :(

[executioneer]

are you sure, he looks a awful lot like willie from here

[Sacks]

No Willie is a short guy, broad in the shoulders but narrow at the hip. He's also got a glass eye.

[executioneer]

well i'll be dipped

[bigtimecow]

willie

why does this forum have cancer

[executioneer]

because it sinned against our lord jesus, same reason everyone gets it

[Dixie]

Willie,
Willie,
On the wall.
The most beautiful beard of them all.
Who shot JR?

[executioneer]

elpila did

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Dear Willie,

What was your first avatar?

[executioneer]

i think it was a picture of me in a hat with pig ears and nose on

[Tadao]

HEY WILLIE!

WHAT DID THE JERKS DO TO YOU TO MAKE YOU HATE THEM SO MUCH?

[executioneer]

they didnt get stabbed enough

[Grislygus]

Dear Willie:



Why does the Caged Bird Sing, and why won't that other guy tell us in the title, is he smug or something, does he just think he's the shit

[Sam]

Wille, do you want to go see Stella with me?

[executioneer]

Dear Willie:



Why does the Caged Bird Sing, and why won't that other guy tell us in the title, is he smug or something, does he just think he's the shit

the caged bird sings because it is marking its territory or to attract a mate, idk why that needs a whole damn book it sounds like a scam to me

[executioneer]

Wille, do you want to go see Stella with me?
mabey :( i missed out on hugs last time apparently :(

[Big McLargehuge]

hey willie, where all the ladies at? cause i am lonely and i need a lady :(

[Sacks]

Man you only think that. BUT I'LL LET WILLIE FIELD THIS ONE SINCE IT'S HIS THREAD AND ALL.

[Big McLargehuge]

i don;t mean "i need a lady" like "i need a lady :love" i mean "i need a lady" like "i need a lady :x"

[Sacks]

Oh ho ho :conspiracy

[Big McLargehuge]

shut the fuck up, not-willie >:

[executioneer]

The ladies are all in art shit, at least i HOPE those are ladies :x

[Sacks]

Oh ho ho :conspiracy

[Tadao]

Willie, What is the ideal pizza?

[MetalMilitia]

I would like to know this too.

[executioneer]

pepperoni and jalapeno-garlic stuffed green olives (at least it was last week!)

[Dimnos]

pepperoni and jalapeno-garlic stuffed green olives (at least it was last week!)

Where do you get that? :love

[glowbelly]

i'm gonna bet that he made it.
that sounds awesome, willie. i'm gonna make it minus the pepperoni.

[executioneer]

i made one on half of a frenchbread, it was fab

[Tadao]

Willie, can you point me in the right direction to create a streaming music playist that I can share with you fine folks?

[executioneer]

wwwelll i used to just use winamp and shoutcast, but i don't know if that would still work or not

[Grislygus]

Willie:

No matter how many awesome songs the Kinks made, how great can they really be, when they directly inspired some of the worst, vilest, and most insipid bands to pollute the nineties, such as Blur and Oasis?

[executioneer]

i kinda like blur so i can't really give a straight answer to that ;_;

[executioneer]

ok only song 2 but still i really like that song

[Guitar Woman]

DEAR WILLIE:

Why do I turn into a nihilistic jackass this time of year

[executioneer]

because your heart is two sizes too small

you need surgery pretty bad :(

[Asila]

willie: why do these things happen?

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Willie:

No matter how many awesome songs the Kinks made, how great can they really be, when they directly inspired some of the worst, vilest, and most insipid bands to pollute the nineties, such as Blur and Oasis?


I really like Damon Albarn>:

[executioneer]

willie: why do these things happen?

i blame scientologists

[Shrubfest]

Dear Willie, how do you tell your boyfriend he's useless and selfish and you want him to go away, without making him hate you for the rest of time because he's also really touchy?

[Sam]

Dear Willie, will Shrubfest ever ACKNOWLEDGE ME AS THE MAN OF HER DREAMS?

[Guitar Woman]

Dear Willie, what's the best way to pick up a girl after she's dumped her boyfriend?

[DevilWearsPrada]

Dear Willie, what kind of doomsday device would I need to exterminate angry girlfriends, wacky stalkers, and smooth anime characters?

[Sam]

DEAR WILLIE, WHEN WILL ZELDASBIGGESTFAN GET THE HINT AND FINALLY LEAVE?

[executioneer]

Dear Willie, how do you tell your boyfriend he's useless and selfish and you want him to go away, without making him hate you for the rest of time because he's also really touchy?

well you could try making yourself less available to him! make excuses to not be around

ALTERNATE, JOKE RESPONSE

you should try moving to another country, preferably one with lots of fat cowboys in it :wink

Dear Willie, will Shrubfest ever ACKNOWLEDGE ME AS THE MAN OF HER DREAMS?

only when she starts having dreams about you so you need one of those dream manipulators i guess

Dear Willie, what's the best way to pick up a girl after she's dumped her boyfriend?

invite her over to play with your wii lol

[executioneer]

DEAR WILLIE, WHEN WILL ZELDASBIGGESTFAN GET THE HINT AND FINALLY LEAVE?

did he come back, i didnt notice

[Sam]

He did come back and his new name is DevilWearsPardo and he is even worse then before. :(

ALSO HOW DO I GET A DREAM MANIPULATOR? :(

[executioneer]

i dont think thats really zbf though :( and idk about the dreammanipulator

[MetalMilitia]

Willie I have a two part question,

Firstly is it true you live near Guitar Woman? Secondly will you go round to her house, break her computer and punch her in the dick?

Thanks.

[executioneer]

if by "near" you mean a two and a half hour drive, then yeah i guess

and for the second part, nahh the dick punching would probably have the opposite effect you'd expect

[Grislygus]

I really like Damon Albarn>:

Dear Willie:

Now that you see the company you keep, will you still stand by Blur?

[executioneer]

i didnt say i was standing by them i was just saying they have a good song :(

[liquidstatik]

..

[executioneer]

this is a stick up, give me all your money

[executioneer]

actually i think the answer's three they're just counting the letters in the word

[liquidstatik]

..

[executioneer]

i didnt evne google it :x HORRAY FOR BRAIN USING

[Dixie]

Dear Willie,
My knee hurts.
Will you please chop off my leg so I can get a prosthetic with bitchin' graphics?
I may be able to arrange payment.

[executioneer]

only if it's a cybernetic leg with ten times the strength of a normal human leg

[Tadao]

William,
What do you do to make a flu go away.

[executioneer]

i don't know :( i haven't gotten the flu in a long time, maybe beards provide immunity

[Neen]

nope. i gots one.

[Shrubfest]

Update!

Thanks Willie! It worked!

[executioneer]

glad to hear it! :eek

[Colonel Flagg]

So, Sam finally hit the road, eh Shrub? :rimshot

[Colonel Flagg]

Willie, what is the best cure for my insomnia?

[executioneer]

1-2 mg of melatonin usually works ok for me but if you don't have access to that uhh maybe have some chamomile tea? and/or maybe a snack of some kind

[Battle Net Edition]

Willie, my glasses are kind of bent awkwardly, what would be the best way to bend them back to where they aren't all imbalanced on my head? Or should I just move onto another pair, I've had these for about five years now...

[executioneer]

yeah get a new pair bending glasses back into shape is tricky!

[Grislygus]

DEAR WILLIE IF SOMEON CARTCHES YOU AND CUTS OFF AM LOCK OF YOUR BEARD, WILL HE HAVE GOOOD LUCK FOREVERG

[executioneer]

probably not! it sure isn't helping ME any anyways >:

[Dimnos]

With his failing health, will Kim jong il try to have his brain placed into a robot body?

[executioneer]

i hope so, that might mean it'd be possible for me to do it someday!

[Sacks]

Willie who would win in a fight, The Kool-Aid man or Cheesasaurus Rex?

[Dimnos]

Sacks, didnt you already prove Kool-Aid man would kick Rex's ass?

[Pub Lover]

Willie who is the more tender lover, The Kool-Aid man or Cheesasaurus Rex?

[Fathom Zero]

Dear Willie,

You remind me of a babe.

[Sacks]

Sacks, didnt you already prove Kool-Aid man would kick Rex's ass?

I WANT SOME REASSURANCE.

[executioneer]

cheeseasaurus rex would win but kool-aid man's super diabetes power would leave him ona restricted diet the rest of his life

[Girl Drink Drunk]

Willie, does Fathom Zero also make you think of Ted Nugent when he's talking about drugs?

[Fathom Zero]

>: DUDE, STRANGLEHOLD.

Dear Willie,

What's your favorite thing to chew on when you're angry?

[Neen]

Any advice for a beard-in-training?

[Sam]

Dear Willie, i desperately need to go on a vacation and get out of California. Where should I go?

[Shrubfest]

Dear Willie, how much will it cost for Sam to get to Yorkshire, so we can take that picture CiG so wants?

[executioneer]

Willie, does Fathom Zero also make you think of Ted Nugent when he's talking about drugs?

SOMETIMES

>: DUDE, STRANGLEHOLD.

Dear Willie,

What's your favorite thing to chew on when you're angry?

usually whatever it is i'm angry at >: video game controllers get chewed a lot :(

Any advice for a beard-in-training?

start out small so you can get use to it easier!

Dear Willie, i desperately need to go on a vacation and get out of California. Where should I go?

have you tried washington all the cool dudes are doin it

Dear Willie, how much will it cost for Sam to get to Yorkshire, so we can take that picture CiG so wants?

JK SAM I THINK SOMEONE ELSE IS WILLIEING UP THIS THREAD :eek

probably a whole bunch! i'd guess it's probably over $600 round trip and that is probably way wayyy too low a guess even

[Sam]

:eek

[Sam]

I just looked and it is like $1000. :tear

SO WILLIE, HOW DO I MAKE $1000 DOLLARS? :(

[executioneer]

dognapping

[Dixie]

Dear Willie,
How can I fake my own death so I don't have to go to anymore family gatherings?

[executioneer]

you could put a brick on your cars accelerator and have it drive off a cliff into the ocean! make sure to rolldown the windows first, it won't work if the windows are all still up and unbroken and there's no body

[Dixie]

Fuck, that means I have to start driving.
:(

[executioneer]

ohh even better borrow someone elses car and crash it into the ocean! itll get found out faster cause the person you borrow the car from will go "HEY WHERES MY CAR AT" and go looking for it

[Dixie]

That does sound like fun......