Jul 26th, 2005, 01:49 PM
Deaf people vs Intercoms
A long and pointless post, but then I'm spacing out at work...so whatever, haha...
Yesterday morning, I drove down to south shore, massachusetts to attend a conference for something (boring) work-related. I got lost along the way because the directions provided by mapquest.com aren't alway accurate, or even reliable. As I've arrived the building and I was very late, I drove to the lot to park my car. The building itself had no windows, looked as if it was sealed in with white cement and bolted doors. The only things that are missing were steel fence surrounding the building and guards carrying shotguns. I approached the front door and noticed the intercom on the left side...and I was all alone. "Shit..." I thought to myself. Due to my deafness, I've had countless bad experiences with intercoms. But this one takes the proverbial cake of all the experiences that I've had with intercoms in the past.
I took a deep breath. I didn't have much of a choice but to press the button on the intercom and expect for the worse...
Since I have no trouble identifying the differences between a male and a female voice, I could tell it was a lady who answered... "hello?"
"Hi, yeah, I'm here for the conference."
She responded but what I'm hearing was, "Ghrhgrurhjrfh."
I assumed the lady on the other side said to come in after the buzzer. So I placed my hand on the door to wait for the buzzing sound. Few moments of silence whizzed by and nothing happened.
The lady in the intercom resumed to speak, almost sounded like it was in form of questioning...
"Hi, yeah. Sorry I didn't get you the last time but I'm deaf and cannot hear well. Could you please open the door?"
"Hjhujrbcjui zxns hrehc."
"Wait...I'm deaf, I cannot hear you... I mean, I can hear you but I cannot understand what you are saying."
I could tell by the person's tone that she was starting to get aggravated and she was yelling, "HAJDUFHBFKVOODJMCE!!!!"
"Hey, lady, I'm deaf...D-E-A-F...you know, DEAF. Do you hear me now? Or are you deaf, too?"
Yet, after the third time I'd informed her of my deafness, she continued to respond and dang, was she maaad..."HHAURBNAKIDIFB...!!! LSOAJXNDBVRG...!!!"
I almost broke down crying and shout "WHHHYYY!!!", knowingly that I've been unintentionally shit on by the society once again. No! I cannot let them have their petty victory because I haven't let the battle end...it's only begun! I'd decided to fight back against this level 12 fuickwit. I was shouting incoherently at the intercom like an one-toothed crackhead desperately looking for a fix after a four day drought, in order to exaggeratedly mimic what I'm hearing from her, "GHWEJDFHJFHJEJIHFDGDKHDFHBFH!!!"
All of a sudden, a man in suits unexpectedly turned up from behind. He gave me the look, like I was an escaped mental patient going on an intercom rampage. I took a step back and looked down to the ground in embarassment. He swiped his card through an identification box and opened the door. I went after him to plead for help. That only made me look worse, especially after what he had witnessed. It didn't surprise me he wouldn't let me in the building. It wouldn't have surprised me if he called security. I knew at the moment that I was fucked. Please believe.
I stood outside by the door, and asked myself, "What would MacGyver do (if he was in this situation)?"
All I had on me were my keys, a bic lighter and my wallet containing plastic cards. I figured I could use a hearing aid battery inside my hearing aids as an explosive device to blow the door open. But alas, the door suddenly opened and out came a man, with a real concerned look on his face.
"Is there something I can do for you, sir?" he would ask as he raised his right eye brow.
"I'm having trouble with the intercom lady. She can't seem to grasp the fact that I'm deaf and I cannot understand a word she's saying."
"Oh, you were supposed to press the button if you want to speak."
Oh...Ha...Haha...
Like I knew that....
God I hate myself
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