National Blood Shortage

[Dr. Boogie]

Here's a fun story about the first and only time I gave blood:


I was a senior in high school, and I was not looking forward to another pre-calc class with Mr. Dipshit Fresh-Outta-College Teecher Guy. Then, I noticed that there was a blood drive going on that day. What fantastic timing! Sure, I thought to myself, you've never been a big fan of needles, but it's that, or go to class.

So there I am, sitting in a lawn chair in the gymnasium while some fat broad shoves a bamboo shoot into my elbow. Hell, I don't care. I'm ditching class, and I've got an excuse. So while my blood is getting donated, I look around and see one of my friends helping with some of the non-medical stuff (handing out T-shirts and cold pizza). I wave to him, and he comes over to talk with me for a bit. Oh yeah, we say, giving blood is such a noble thing to do. Blah blah blah.

Then all of a sudden, my friend gets this horrified look on his face. I ask him "what?" Then, things start to get really dark, and I said "uh oh". Apparently, while we were talking, my face went completely pale and my lips turned blue. After a minute of lying back and not talking, I get better to the point where I can see and hear again, which was a plus.

After a few more minutes, the ogress who jammed the needle into me says I'm all done, but that I shouldn't stand up too quickly. Sure enough, I look over and see some kid jump off his lawn chair and walk for the exit. He takes about two normal steps, then two steps like he's walking against a strong wind, and then he starts falling. Lucky for him, a couple volunteers saw it coming and were there to catch him. I chuckled to myself. That'll teach him to be in such a hurry.

I finally get well enough to stand up and leave. They give me a sticker, I pass on the pizza, and they forget to give me a shirt. What a damn gyp.