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ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
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Old Jul 13th, 2009, 10:48 PM        Woman Claims to be Reincarnation of Venus, Sues Heffner
http://www.azcentral.com/ent/celeb/a...gh-hefner.html

A woman named Sheri Allred sues Hugh Hefner for 3 billion dollars, insisting that he's a part of a pedophile ring who targeted her when she was five.

She also claims to be the reincarnation of "Venus Aphrodite Demilo the goddess."
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Jul 13th, 2009, 10:51 PM       
She's gonna wind up killing him if he doesn't die soon.
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Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
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Old Jul 14th, 2009, 04:26 AM       
I'd like to dispute her claim, and state that I am the biggest hat in the world.
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Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
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Old Jul 14th, 2009, 06:31 AM       
She might have a case, if she had big hooters in preschool.
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Old Jul 14th, 2009, 12:04 PM       
Thats funny because de Milo isnt the goddess last name or anything. That one statue is called the Venus de Milo, or of Milos, because it was found in the city of Milos. What a tard.
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10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Jul 14th, 2009, 12:13 PM       
Now I want to file a lawsuit claiming I'm the reincarnation of the wrong person I'm talking about too.

"I'm suing the estate of Bram Stoker because I'm the reincarnation of Vlad Impaler Tepes Alucard Blackula the 1st."
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Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Jul 14th, 2009, 12:38 PM       
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"I'm suing the estate of Bram Stoker because I'm the reincarnation of Vlad Impaler Tepes Alucard Blackula the 1st."

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Old Jul 14th, 2009, 05:29 PM       
holy shit that is some serious incoherent gibberish. is she practicing to be a nigerian scam artist or something? she should sic the governor on him
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[COLOR=purple][COLOR=Magenta]SHAME ON A [COLOR=Pink]NIGGA WHO TRY TO RUN [/COLOR][URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGI6mhfJyA"]GAME[/URL] ON A NIGGA[/COLOR]
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ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
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Old Jul 14th, 2009, 06:06 PM       
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Originally Posted by Dimnos View Post
Thats funny because de Milo isnt the goddess last name or anything. That one statue is called the Venus de Milo, or of Milos, because it was found in the city of Milos. What a tard.
Not to mention the fact that she somehow combined the Greek and Roman versions of the Goddess of Love.

Plus there's the funny detail that according to Greek mytholoy, the Olypians were immortal, thus they couldn't die, thus they could not be reincarnated!
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"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
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Old Jul 14th, 2009, 06:12 PM       
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Originally Posted by ZeldaQueen View Post
Not to mention the fact that she somehow combined the Greek and Roman versions of the Goddess of Love.

Plus there's the funny detail that according to Greek mytholoy, the Olypians were immortal, thus they couldn't die, thus they could not be reincarnated!
True that. I wish the sate would counter sue in situations like this for people like her waisting their time.
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ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
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Old Jul 14th, 2009, 07:13 PM       
I guess after all the stress they go through, they could use a good laugh.
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"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
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ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
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Old Jul 14th, 2009, 11:01 PM       
More news! The original letter she sent: http://www.aolcdn.com/tmz_documents/...ugh_hefner.pdf
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"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
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Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
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Old Jul 15th, 2009, 12:16 AM       
Holy shit. Is she related to the Unabomber? That has all the trappings of the start to a well-written manifesto.

You're right, ZQ, the state does need a good laugh from time-to-time, and this one fits that bill nicely.
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Zhukov Zhukov is offline
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Old Jul 15th, 2009, 08:29 AM       
HEY. Just because she is crazy doesn't mean he didn't peado her.


It might mean that he didn't, but not 100%.
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ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
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Old Jul 15th, 2009, 10:25 AM       
That's true, but according to her he mysteriously came out from under her bed one night, grabbed her arm, and named all four Beatles (or that's what I think she said). Then she telepathically told him to let go an leave her.
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"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
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Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
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Old Jul 15th, 2009, 12:07 PM       
If anyone can provide a suitable translation (to the King's English, mind you) of her 5½ page rant (including the barely legible handwritten postscript) I would almost be willing to pay for the privilege of reading it. Almost.
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ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
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Old Jul 15th, 2009, 05:14 PM       
I can figure out most of it (besides the postscript at the bottom). It's one of those things though where even when it's in grammatical English, you still can't understand it.
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"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
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Ant10708 Ant10708 is offline
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Old Jul 24th, 2009, 02:46 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dimnos View Post
Thats funny because de Milo isnt the goddess last name or anything. That one statue is called the Venus de Milo, or of Milos, because it was found in the city of Milos. What a tard.
HILARIOUS! you must of been the class clown and the center of every party
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Old Jul 24th, 2009, 02:48 PM       
This is textbook schizophrenia.
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10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
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Old Jul 24th, 2009, 05:01 PM       
Whatever happened to just plain crazy?
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ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
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Old Jul 25th, 2009, 12:11 AM       
Out of complete boredom, I really have started to translate this. I've finished the first page if anyone cares to see what I've deciphered.
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"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
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kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Jul 25th, 2009, 12:12 AM       
lol this is like that lady who claimed that she was married to michael jackson and the mother of his kids and also her father is satan which is interesting when you think about it because maybe michael jackson's father IS satan.
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ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
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Old Jul 25th, 2009, 12:19 AM       
Where'd you hear about this lady? Sounds like those women who claim that Elvis faked his death and lived with them.

There ought to be a club: Psychotic People Allegedly Connected to the Famous. Imagine what their meetings would be like.
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"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
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kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Jul 25th, 2009, 12:43 AM       
my wife told me about her :O
http://www.google.com/#hl=en&q=%22michael+jackson%22+%22wife%22+%22fathe r%22+%22Satan%22&aq=f&oq=&aqi=&fp=VEE02fthf5k

lol

if you read into the stories it is startling how many similarities there are....
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In another part of her claim, Nona states: "Though he died to this earth, he lives with my father, Satan the Devil Khalid Lucifer."
SATAN THE DEVIL KHALID LUCIFER

the thing that disgusted me the most about reading these stories was that michael jackson named all of his kids after himself and two of them were named prince and wasn't one of them named blanket or some shit?
fuck that asshole

also she's more like a venus olympia demonet IN MY BOOK :DIMNOS
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Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
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Old Jul 25th, 2009, 08:05 AM       
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Originally Posted by ZeldaQueen View Post
Out of complete boredom, I really have started to translate this. I've finished the first page if anyone cares to see what I've deciphered.
I'll bite. Whaddya got?
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