Go Back   I-Mockery Forum > I-Mockery Discussion Forums > Philosophy, Politics, and News
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
Insane Writer
ZeldaQueen's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the border of my Outer Circle of Thought
Old Aug 16th, 2009, 02:04 AM        Man So Desperate To Have Way With Park Bench His...Thing Gets Stuck


Yeah.

And if anyone wonders, I found it in the article The 6 Strangest Objects People Were Caught Having Sex With.
__________________
"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Tadao Tadao is offline
☆☆☆☆☆
Tadao's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2002
Old Aug 16th, 2009, 02:29 AM       
They plump when you cook em.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Dr. Boogie Dr. Boogie is offline
Funky Dynamite
Dr. Boogie's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Help, I'm lost!
Old Aug 16th, 2009, 05:58 AM       
"However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole."

Way to add insult to injury, newslady.


And did I misread the subtitles, or did they say that the police tried bloodletting on his penis?
__________________
Dr. Boogie: Everything is so simple when you have a rocket launcher for an arm!


Reply With Quote
  #4  
Dr. Boogie Dr. Boogie is offline
Funky Dynamite
Dr. Boogie's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Help, I'm lost!
Old Aug 16th, 2009, 06:02 AM       
And how does him getting his dick stuck in a small hole on a park bench prove that not all asian men are small?
__________________
Dr. Boogie: Everything is so simple when you have a rocket launcher for an arm!


Reply With Quote
  #5  
ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
Insane Writer
ZeldaQueen's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the border of my Outer Circle of Thought
Old Aug 16th, 2009, 12:31 PM       
Yes, they tried bloodletting.

I guess they figured that if it couldn't come out, it couldn't have been that small...
__________________
"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Wiffles Wiffles is offline
mmm muffins
Wiffles's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sunshine Hill
Old Aug 16th, 2009, 08:51 PM       
You must admit tho, thats one attractive park bench ^_~
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
Queen of the Beasts
Jeanette X's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: in my burrow
Old Aug 16th, 2009, 11:43 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Boogie View Post
"However, once he became aroused he found that he was stuck and could not get his penis out of the small hole."

Way to add insult to injury, newslady.


And did I misread the subtitles, or did they say that the police tried bloodletting on his penis?
Well I guess that makes sense. Its hard when its engorged with blood, and if the hole was restricting blood flow and preventing it from going down, then the logical thing to do would be to drain the blood to make it flaccid so it could slip out.

I don't see why they cut the whole steel bench free. Couldn't they have just cut the part that his penis was stuck inside of free and took him to the hospital like that, leaving the rest of the bench behind?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
Insane Writer
ZeldaQueen's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the border of my Outer Circle of Thought
Old Aug 17th, 2009, 12:19 AM       
Quote:
I don't see why they cut the whole steel bench free. Couldn't they have just cut the part that his penis was stuck inside of free and took him to the hospital like that, leaving the rest of the bench behind?
Maybe the way they did it was faster so the poor guy wasn't stuck in public attached to a bench like that.
__________________
"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Jeanette X Jeanette X is offline
Queen of the Beasts
Jeanette X's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: in my burrow
Old Aug 17th, 2009, 12:44 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZeldaQueen View Post
Maybe the way they did it was faster so the poor guy wasn't stuck in public attached to a bench like that.
I think it would've been easier to move him with just a square sheet of metal rather than having to lift an entire bench.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
MattJack MattJack is offline
Role Assigner
MattJack's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: The Mother F*ckin Dirty (bruh)
Old Aug 17th, 2009, 12:57 AM       
"After the night of heated passion reports are coming in that the man will not return the bench's calls, and has actually removed the bench from his Facebook account."
__________________
JANGIS KHAN
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Zhukov Zhukov is offline
Supa Soviet Missil Mastar
Zhukov's Avatar
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Tasmania
Old Aug 17th, 2009, 01:53 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeanette X View Post
... then the logical thing to do would be to drain the blood to make it flaccid so it could slip out.
Did you really have to say "slip out"? It's just put images in my head that he either lubricated it first or that he managed to ejaculate.

On a related note, a friend of a friend of mine was caught humping his couch. He will never, ever, ever live it down.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Dr. Boogie Dr. Boogie is offline
Funky Dynamite
Dr. Boogie's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Help, I'm lost!
Old Aug 17th, 2009, 02:42 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeanette X View Post
Well I guess that makes sense. Its hard when its engorged with blood, and if the hole was restricting blood flow and preventing it from going down, then the logical thing to do would be to drain the blood to make it flaccid so it could slip out.
In spite of the fact that the cops were draining blood from his penis, in spite of the fact that firemen were operating a screeching saw mere inches from his penis, in spite of the fact that he was howling in pain, he still kept it up.

To me, the real story is that this guy is seriously rough trade.
__________________
Dr. Boogie: Everything is so simple when you have a rocket launcher for an arm!


Reply With Quote
  #13  
stevetothepast stevetothepast is offline
Esq.
stevetothepast's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Old Aug 17th, 2009, 10:22 AM       
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
MrSmiley381 MrSmiley381 is offline
Member
MrSmiley381's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Elyria, OH
Old Aug 18th, 2009, 08:03 PM       
Well, the beholder had sex with a bench. The beholder was more than likely blind.
__________________
If I drink gasoline, do I get super car powers?
Reply With Quote
  #15  
ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
Insane Writer
ZeldaQueen's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the border of my Outer Circle of Thought
Old Aug 19th, 2009, 02:39 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSmiley381 View Post
Well, the beholder had sex with a bench. The beholder was more than likely blind.
Or bored. Maybe he had an hour to kill and thought "I wonder what it'd be like to screw a bench?"
__________________
"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Dimnos Dimnos is offline
LOVES the tubal ligation!
Dimnos's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Baseball Town, TX
Old Aug 19th, 2009, 10:59 AM       
He should have wondered what it would be like to screw his ear with a drill.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Esuohlim View Post
Exactly. Life's too short to not be ejaculating as often as possible
Reply With Quote
  #17  
ZeldaQueen ZeldaQueen is offline
Insane Writer
ZeldaQueen's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the border of my Outer Circle of Thought
Old Aug 19th, 2009, 03:54 PM       
Maybe he didn't have a drill handy.
__________________
"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing." "But," says Man, "The Babel fish proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't." "Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

   


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:26 AM.


© 2008 I-Mockery.com
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.