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Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
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Old Apr 27th, 2010, 10:16 PM        Adoption
It's been nearly 2 years and we're finally nearing the finish line! A-day nigh approaches!

The slog has been only partly (and not majorly) due to disorganized, slow, ill-trained, overworked, underpaid social services employees. It makes me wonder sometimes where my tax dollars go, because they sure don't go to programs that promote the public welfare. And I don't mean to point the finger at the people involved - nearly all have been caring and passionate individuals looking out for the best interests of the children. It must be a calling of sorts, sincd none can do it for the money - there isn't any.

The major problem is a system that is hopelessly bureaucratic, favoring birth parents' rights over the rights of their own children. Admittedly, this is my opinion, based on experience - feel free to present me with your experiences to the contrary, if you'd like.

I realize the DHS system varies from state to state, but generally it is extremely difficult to move a child through the system from foster care to pre-adopt. Termination of birth parental rights is not only difficult from a legal standpoint, but it is also fraught with angst and emotional baggage on both sides. And needless to say, the foster parents gernally have NO LEGAL RIGHTS - at least none that they tell you about.

What's harder to stomach, for me, are the children that are virtually abandoned at birth, yet are kept in limbo for up to 2 years as the system tries usually without success to reconcile the birth mother with the progeny.

There's got to be a better way.
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Tadao Tadao is offline
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Old Apr 28th, 2010, 12:03 AM       
I was planning on adopting since I was like 20 years old, but I probably never will. Congrats. Hope you get a good one. What race did you pick?
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Pentegarn Pentegarn is offline
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Old Apr 28th, 2010, 01:04 AM       
Maybe you could speed up the process if you had large lips, kept a vial of Billy Bob Thornton's blood around your neck, and were shtupping Brad Pitt
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Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
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Old Apr 28th, 2010, 06:13 AM       
@T - Thanks. Ethnicity was never a question for us, and I'd like to think it doesn't matter. However, it is an unspoken fact that if you go through social services, they try to avoid an interracial adoption. (how's this for a non-answer?)

And it's not one, it's two. (!!)

@Pent - We could also have me parade around on stage in my underwear with bleached hair extensions singing "Like a Virgin".
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Dimnos Dimnos is offline
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Old Apr 28th, 2010, 12:56 PM       
No shit. Two minutes after reading this last night my wife comes to me telling me how she wants to adopt a special needs child. God damn women we just had another baby and Im just not that big of a person.
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Kitsa Kitsa is offline
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Old Apr 28th, 2010, 06:09 PM       
I'm glad that there are people like you and yours in this world, ColFlagg.
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Colonel Flagg Colonel Flagg is offline
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Old Apr 28th, 2010, 09:59 PM       
@Dimnos - Our eldest is special needs, and let me tell you, that is a euphamism for pain and heartache .... but also extreme joy and happiness. It's a roller coaster ride that doesn't end. And I wouldn't have it any other way. Truth.

You will need total commitment from both parents to make it work, in my opinion.

@Kitsa - Back atcha, beautiful.
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