| Zod
on "Rubik's Cube"
The other
week I was studying a human child, because I believe that in
order to know everything about your enemy, you need to know
where he came from. So what better way to learn about the
people who I now rule over than to learn about how they have
been raised?
This child's name was "Mikey", but I simply
referred to him as "mini-slave". I noticed he was
holding a small, cube-like object in his hands. I
immediately demanded that he hand it over to me. At first I
thought it was some kind of "food", but the
mini-slave claimed that it was a puzzle known as
"Rubik's Cube".
RUBIK'S CUBE.
I
must say that I did not approve of this from the beginning.
The bright colors were certainly not suitable for a puzzle
that was to be solved by Zod. I felt that it needed to be
various shades of gray as opposed to these ridiculous
colors. Still, I was determined to face this challenge,
horrendous colors and all.
The
young slave claimed that all I needed to do was arrange all
of the colors so that they matched on each side of the cube.
THIS is what you humans consider a puzzle? Allow me to
suggest trying escaping from the Phantom Zone... THAT is a
real puzzle, you pathetic peasants.
I
solved the puzzle with ease and nothing happened. Most
displeasing. I would expect that that puzzle would
congratulate me and claim that I am the most intelligent
being in the universe. But it did nothing. It just sat there
completely silent. This silence disturbed me. Something was
not right. And then it came to me.
THE HELLRAISER
PUZZLE BOX!
I
have studied the history of this planet Houston for many
years, and I found your video libraries to be the best
resource of what has happened on this planet in the past. I
watched the documentary known as "Hellraiser" and
remember a strange creature who had a puzzle box that, when
"solved", it would torture whomever solved it. THE
YOUNG HUMAN CHILD MINI-SLAVE WAS TRYING TO KILL ZOD!
I
instantly killed "Mikey" for trying to fool me.
Did he really think he could hide this box of horrors under
the guise of neon colors? He must have taken me for a fool.
But I obviously solved the REAL puzzle here, for little
Mikey is dead.
And the puzzle box?
"DIE! DIE AS YOU DESERVE TO,
FOOLISH PUZZLE BOX!"
KNEEL
BEFORE ZOD!
back
to Zod home
|
