Halloween

The Halloween Grab Bag!
Halloween Hot Sauce In A Coffin!
by: -RoG-

In previous years, I've shared with you seasonal products such as Halloween Soda, Halloween snack chips, and even Halloween toothpaste. While the existence of new Halloween-themed products like these is always appreciated, I think we can all agree that our favorite holiday definitely needs an official line of hot sauces as well. Sure, there are plenty of novelty hot sauces out there, including ones with little skull key chains attached to them that I'll always love, but there's never been a set that os sauces that truly scream Halloween. Thankfully, one man who goes by the monicker "Victor, The Undertaker", has created just such a thing, and it does NOT disappoint at all.

Today was an awesome day, because Vic was nice enough to send me a package containing all three of his official "Halloween Hot Sauce" flavors, and they just might be the greatest thing I get in the mail all season long. Let's take a look:

UPDATE: The results of our "Design a Halloween Hot Sauce label" contest are now up! Click here to check 'em out!

A full batch of Halloween Hot Sauce arrives in the mail!
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Formerly known as "Haunted Hot Sauce", when you receive a Halloween Hot Sauce package in the mail, it becomes immediately clear that a ridiculous amount of love and detail went into the aesthetics of this product. From the old-timey info note written on parchment and tied up with twine, to the gentleman skeleton "thank you" card with dried up blood-stains, you know you're in for a real treat before you've even taken anything out of the box. And speaking of the box, did I mention the hot sauce comes in real coffins?

Halloween Hot Sauce comes in an optional handmade cedar coffin!
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Yep. The Undertaker actually creates these cedar coffins by hand to store your Halloween Hot Sauce in. The cedar smells fantastic as soon as you take it out of the box, and the coffin alone would make a great display piece. It even has vintage-looking black iron hinges on one side, along with a nice gold latch on the other to keep it sealed shut during transport. Yep, it's always the little details that count. Alright, time to crack it open!

Look inside the coffin and you'll find bottles of Halloween Hot Sauce with grubs crawling around them. Yummy!
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Did I say a lot of love went into these or what? Upon opening the cedar coffin, you come face to face with three incredible looking bottles of Halloween Hot Sauce securely nestled in a bed of old mausoleum moss fibers. Little white rubber maggots are also found crawling in the coffin too, as if to suggest these bottles are just like real decaying corpses, and now nature is doing its work on them. Hot sauce and maggots, together at long last. I think I'm in love.

Halloween Hot Sauce comes in three flavors: Spider Venom, Bloody Bat, and Grinning Skull!
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It should come as no surprise to see that the bottles are the most impressive works of art here, for it looks like they came straight from an old apothecary cabinet. Each bottle is delicately wrapped in a "burial cloth" and given a toe tag. The toe tags reads as follows: "From his home at Moonlit Hill Cemetery, Victor "The Undertaker" unearths this ghastly hot sauce! Rumored to have been made from peppers grown on cemetery grounds, this hot sauce delivers a truly haunting experience! Happy Halloween!" The other side of the toe tag was made to appear genuine, including a note that reads "affix to toe of corpse".

The three flavors in order from mildest to hottest are Spider Venom, Bloody Bat, and Grinning Skull. The mild Spider Venom flavor contains jalapeno peppers, vinegar, garlic, basil, oregano, onion, and salt. Bloody bat, the medium flavor, contains cayenne peppers, vinegar, garlic, basil, oregano, onion, black pepper, and salt. Lastly, the hottest of the three, Grinning Skull, contains habanero peppers, vinegar, garlic, basil, oregano, onion, crushed red pepper, and salt. If you're looking for something that's absolutely going to scorch your mouth, you won't find it here, but if you're looking for something with a solid kick and distinctflavor, I'm sure you'd love the stuff.

This isn't runny hot sauce either; each flavor has a wonderful, thick consistency, great coloring, and the vinegar is never too overpowering. Have no fear, for it's obvious that just as much love went into the actual sauces as the packaging, and all the flavors are really good. And I do mean really good. If I had to pick a favorite, it would probably be Bloody Bat, because the cayenne pepper and black pepper combination is damn near perfect. What can I say... I like pepper. And it's a good thing too, because Vic included an extra bottle of Bloody Bat hot sauce that I'll be giving away to one lucky winner!

***HALLOWEEN HOT SAUCE CONTEST RESULTS!***

I recently held a contest where I asked you to create some hand-drawn Halloween hot sauce concepts of your very own. The rules stated that in order to be valid, the entries had to be hand-drawn, but I'd be judging them solely on creativity rather than based on the quality of the artwork. After all, not everybody can draw well, so this was the best way to keep things fair. I started you off with an example of my own:

Creature Cremains Hot Sauce! I really wish this existed.
Yeah, I'd buy a bottle of Creature Cremains Hot Sauce in a heartbeat. Wouldn't you?

Now that the contest has ended, it's time for me to fullfill my promise of putting up all the entries on display here, and you guys sent in some great concepts. Concepts I wish were real hot sauce products. Concepts that should be real hot sauce products. Now let's take a look at all the entries and then see who won the grand prize of their very own hand-made bottle of Bloody Bat Halloween Hot Sauce. Enjoy!


by Andrew Israelsen

Opting to go the Photoshop route with a jar of tomato sauce, Andrew did his best to alter the hell out of this thing.
"Organic" was changed to "Organs", there are body parts floating around in the olive oil in the background, the tomato has been brutally stabbed with an adorably small butcher knife, and naturally, it contains 666 ml of the sauce.


by B. Primo

I'm not sure if this is a hot sauce label or a vector art computer game screenshot from the 80s. Either way, I'm sold.


by Broderick G.

Who wouldn't want to taste the spicy deliciousness of Egon's spores, molds, and fungus?
I'm just glad that Broderick didn't cross the streams, because that would be bad.


by Brooke Lancaster

If anybody could make sauce hot sauce or hotter than hell, it would have to be Pinhead.
Good use of one of his most famous quotes too, Brooke!


by Daniel B.

This was honestly my favorite entry of the entire lot, but Daniel said he was just entering for the fun of it since he lives out of
the country and the rules stated I couldn't ship these bottles out of the United States. Still, everything about this is great. I'd love to have a bottle of "Texas Hot Sauce Massacre" for my freshest meat. Also, making a twist on that "The Saw Is Family" slogan from the third film works perfectly here. Thanks for participating and sharing your creation with us, Danny!


by Dirka

You just can't go wrong with a hot sauce that pays homage to the greatest line to come out of Monster Squad.
I also love how the Wolfman's nards appear to be less round, and shaped more like a dagger for some reason.
Nicely done, Dirka! Your hot sauce gave the wolfman severe testicular agony and made Horace proud.


by Dextire

It may not be hand-drawn per the contest rules, but it's still 100% awesome. Just the fact that somebody thought to pay tribute to a classic video game like "Zombies Ate My Neighbors" in hot sauce form puts a smile on my face.
He even got the font looking just right, and now I really want a bottle of "Zombies Ate My Peppers", so nice job Dextire!


by Don Vare

We've all seen the many ass-exploding themed bottles of hot sauce that exist in the market these days, and yet
seeing another never fails to entertain. That said, I don't think anybody wants to eat neon green caca.


by James Manning

We've all seen how the blood of Xenomorphs can melt through practically melt through anything.
Well, James had the bright idea of bottling that alien blood and selling it as an ultra-hot condiment.
I'm guessing you'd need to sign a waiver before purchasing this from a hot sauce retailer.

by Jeremy Kerby

Now here's a pair of hot sauces you don't see every day. Cat piss and a bleeding moon.
While they may not sound tasty, I can't help but love that the cat is giving us a big thumbs up as it takes a piss.
That cat totally thinks it's the Fonz. Eyyyyy!


by Joel Pednaud

Great minds think alike, and Joel has put together another Photoshopped reference to the third
Texas Chainsaw Massacre film. I really love how it's called "Hot Saws" instead of "Hot Sauce".
Nice play on words, Joel!


by Joel Schlosberg

You can't go wrong with a Jurassic Park reference, especially when it's regarding the demise of Dennis Nedry.
Bottle it up and put it on store shelves, cuz any dilophosaurus would line up to taste this stuff.


by Justin Westover

Now here's a nice original one! Not only does it work as a tasty hot sauce, but it gets rid of
facial blemishes too? Justin should take his product to Beverly Hills, cuz he'll make a mint on this stuff. Gotta love
that it also serves as punishment for disobedient children. Melting their faces off will surely teach 'em to behave!


by Keifer Martin

Dr. Mild and Mr. Scorch is a nice little play on Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
Note how the facial expressions change on each side of the bottle? It's the little things that matter most.

 
by Lucas Palichuk

I'm kinda surprised there hasn't already been a Slimer-themed hot sauce yet, cuz there certainly should be.
That said, I'd much rather see a Hampire one. Who wouldn't?


by Tasha Lollar

I'm not sure drinking hot sauce named after the poisonous Wolfsbane would be in your best interest,
but looking at a nice silhouette of a werewolf howling fire in the moonlight isn't going to do you any harm.


by Mark Collins

However, I'm sure "Wolve's Bayne" is completely safe for you to drink.


by Tanglebrook

The idea of a portly vampire is already great, but when you make the bottle extra wide and give him a bad comb-over, you've created something that pretty much all Halloween and hot sauce fans alike could easily get on board with.
Definitely one of my favorites.


by Thomas Dillon

The idea of summoning flavor by speaking Candyman's name three times is brilliant, and I love both his face and how the shape of the bottle unintentionally appears to look like a semi-melted bottle of laundry detergent. All that said, there is one burning question that remains: What does it taste like if you don't speak his name three times?


by Tony

There's really nothing quite as appetizing as pus, is there?
Especially when it's pus extracted from toxic mutant with the tongue of Gene Simmons.

***AND NOW FOR THE WINNING ENTRY!***


by Douglas MacKrell

A play on Manos the Hands of Fate? Yes! Douglas included a nice sales pitch too: "Be 'The Master' of Halloween this season with these new Manos The Hands of Fate Hot Sauces! The only hot sauce as delicious and painful as the movie itself!" And just look at poor Torgo... one can only assume his hot sauce was squeezed from the bloody stump where his hand used to be.
Plus, I like how Douglas pulled double duty with the idea of creating a set of sauces, just like the ones in the article above.
Clearly, you just can't have a Manos hot sauce without Torgo. Congrats on a job well done, Douglas!

Huge thanks to all of you who took the time to enter the contest. I loved looking at your hot sauce concepts and I wish I had enough bottles to give out to each and every one of you. I'll try to throw another contest this October so hopefully you'll all have a chance to win another nifty Halloween prize.

Also, many thanks to Vic for sending me his amazing hand-made Halloween Hot Sauce collection, and if you're interested in trying it, I highly suggest visiting HalloweenHotSauce.com and picking up all three bottles. You can get all three in the coffin, or you can buy them separately at a cheaper price if money is tight. It's rare to find somebody putting this much love and detail into their completely handmade work, but when you do, supporting them should be a no-brainer. Whether you're getting one bottle or three, I simply cannot recommend Halloween Hot Sauce enough. The flavors are delicious, but even if you're not a big hot sauce fanatic, they also make for some incredibly cool Halloween decorations. Boo appetit!

Have any questions or comments about this piece?
SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE READER COMMENTS SECTION BELOW!

 

If you enjoyed this piece, be sure to check out:


Halloween Soda: The Official Soda Of Halloween!

Reader Comments

Im one good looking Troll
Sep 7th, 2013, 12:55 AM
Well since you said those sauces wasn't enough to give a kick in the mouth there's one hot sauce called 911 , if you try just enough of it it can send you to the hospital but it's not the hottest sauce in the world.
an organism
Sep 11th, 2013, 07:46 PM
I wish I had the time and craftsmanship to mail out my album like this - not for getting industry attention, just for the sake of creating something unique & memorable.
Cranberry Everything
Sep 12th, 2013, 01:01 AM
That is some serious attention to detail. I'd say it's worth the money just for the coffin.
Ba-dum-tish. RIMSHOT!
Sep 18th, 2013, 03:43 AM
I have a GREAT idea, but I had to scrap the original art because I realized how racist it got.
Forum Virgin
Oct 1st, 2013, 02:02 AM
I just had an amazing idea. I should of drawn "invisible" hot sauce.

Damn it, that would of been the fucking best idea ever.
I hate this hacker crap!
Oct 1st, 2013, 09:25 AM
Here's the one I made but never sent!
Forum Virgin
Oct 1st, 2013, 05:51 PM
I would so buy the leatherfaces hot saws
Cranberry Everything
Oct 1st, 2013, 08:14 PM
I'm glad I didn't have to choose a winner. So many good entries.
Congrats, Douglas!

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