AHHHHHHH!!!!!

You wake up screaming and drenched in sweat. "Holy shit! It was just a dream! All a bad dream!". As you wipe the sweat from your brow, you wonder why you can't dream of nicer things... like spraying MTV's headquarters with thermite. 

Oh well, no sense in worrying about your nightmares anymore, because the big day is here... IT'S HALLOWEEN!!!!

You hop right up and put on your costume, for today will be the day that the entire world will bow before the mightiness of  Psycho Rodeo Clown!

The time to unleash the power of PSYCHO RODEO CLOWN has come!

You run out into the rich neighborhood with a huge pillowcase in your hands (as well all know, nothing beats a good pillowcase for candy gathering). There are tons of other kids already outside that are trick or treating... but none of them have a costume as good as a Psycho Rodeo Clown! One crazy kid with big goggles and a hat that looked like a pickle even walked up to you and said, "Hi! I'm a wacky space guy and I like your costume a lot!" and then he ran off into the moonlight. 

"Crazy bastard", you think to yourself. You figure you'll be meeting all sorts of "loonies" tonight though, since most people tend to act a little nutty when in costume. You decide it's time to get some good candy, so you walk up to the first big house and ring the bell. 

A middle-aged jackass opens the door and says, "What kind of a costume is that? Looks like you're a devil or something!"

"I'm not a devil, I'm a Psycho Rodeo Clown!", you respond.

"A what!? Listen kid, I need to know, have you found Jesus?", he asks.

"What the hell are you talking about!? Give me my candy!", you shout.

"Fine, take it and get off my property!", he growls as he shoves something quickly into your pillowcase.

"Man, what an asshole!", you think to yourself as you walk away from the house. But at least you've got some candy already, right? You open the bag to see what you got. You see no candy, just a folded piece of paper. You pick up the piece of paper and start to read it...

A RELIGIOUS PAMPLHET!? THIS ASSHOLE IS GOING DOWN!!!

Anybody that gives away preachy religious pamphlets on Halloween instead of candy is just BEGGING to be harassed like a mofo. So the time to choose the fate of this bastard has come...

You decide to:

• Roll everything on his property with loads of toilet paper.
  
• Egg everything he owns with the most rotten eggs on the planet.
  
• Write the words "Satan Lover" in huge letters on his house with spray paint.