PERFECTO!

You spray the words "Satan Lover" right on the front of his house so that everybody will see it. Then, you go hide in the bushes and wait for the hilarity to ensue. A few minutes later some kid walks up to his house and rings the doorbell.

"Why didn't you say Trick or Treat, little boy?", the man asks him.  

"Because you love Satan and you'll probably just play a trick on me!", the boy said as he pointed at the front of the man's house.

"What are you talking about!?", he said nervously. He then walked out into his front yard to see what the little boy was pointing at. "Dear god no!!!!" he screamed. All the kids in the neighborhood started chanting "Satan Lover, Satan Lover, Poo Poo On You!" as they skipped by his house with glee. "Noooooooooooo!" he screamed as he quickly went into a cardiac arrest.

Success! That's the last time any kid in this neighborhood will have to deal with getting a religious pamphlet instead of candy on Halloween. Now with that out of the way, you start going from house to house and they all commend you for having such a creative costume as they hand you your candy treats. 

You notice that you're getting a lot of the regular Halloween candies:

Nerds, Milk Duds, Starburst, Junior Mints... the usual stuff.

But the treats you really look forward to is the more unusual stuff that only comes out on Halloween. Sometimes it's not even a name brand, but it's always tasty and cool to look at:

BLOODY EYE GUMBALLS!
It doesn't get much better than that does it?

Hamburger Gum.
Egads! It looks like a burger, but chews like gum!

Banana Monkey Candy!
It's a big yellow banana with a monkey on the package! Yes!

Halloween Goldfish
Just like regular goldfish crackers, only the packages look spooky. Ooo!

Now most people don't buy the creative/unusual candies like this, so you'll be lucky if you get a few of these things in the mix. But damnit, you want more! You've only got a few hours of trick or treating left and although you've done well so far, you're just not satisfied with your candy haul yet. You've got to figure out a way to get A LOT more candy in a short amount of time. So what are you gonna do, mister Psycho Rodeo Clown? What are you gonna do???

You decide to:

• Chug down all the "pixy stix" you have for a quick sugar high and run around the neighborhood like a maniac. This way you'll cover more houses in a shorter amount of time! More Candy!
  
• Jump some kids and steal all of their precious candy!
  
• Find the house that that has the "we're out of town, please take one candy only!" bowl and take ALL of the candy in it! Muahaha!