This situation has ugly written all over it. Before the accusing gazes of the restaurant crowd, you search in your pocket and retrieve a roll of Mentos. Yes, that's right. The Freshmaker. You hold it out before you.

"Look out!" someone screams. "He's got a roll of Mentos!"

Panic ensues. Everybody backs away, throwing over tables and chairs, trying to get away from you. Still clutching the roll, you take careful steps towards the restaurant's entrance. At the doors, you turn around, swinging the roll of Mentos viciously, and people shrink away from you.

"I'm going to leave, now." you state in a loud voice. "Now don't get any funny ideas about calling the po-"

In the corner of your eye, you catch a man approaching you with a salad fork raised threateningly. Lighting-quick, you turn towards him and pop a Mentos into your mouth. The man screams, falls to his knees and clutches at his face as his eyes have suddenly become geysers of hot, gushing blood.

You swing the roll of Mentos through the air again. "Anyone else wanna try and be a hero?" you ask the rest tauntingly. There is no reply. "That's what I thought." you say, and back away through the doors. The last sight you catch of the restaurant is Lucky extracting a tommygun from his hat and opening fire on the crowd while hysterically shouting "Me lucky charms, they're all after me lucky charms...".

While you escaped that situation relatively unscathed, it occurs to you that you still don't know where you have to go next. Somewhere out there is Arnold Schwarzenegger's as of yet unsevered head, but where? A gust of wind blows a piece of paper into your face. Why! It's an old folder for Arnold's California Governorship campaign! You could slap yourself for being so silly - Arnold's in California of course, gunning down drug mobsters and plunging the state into further financial ruin. That's where you have to go!

Considering all the troubles and hilarious jokes that cars have brought you so far, you decide to opt for the bus this time and just see how far the spare change you pocketed from Lucky will get you. As you step onto the bus, you notice that there's only four seats unoccupied. You've got a long trip ahead of you, so you don't want to have to stand all the way.

You decide to sit down next to:

• A little girl that's forcing two Ken dolls to copulate on the seat next to her.
   
• A woman who appears to be yelling into a broken cellphone.
   
• A man with intensive third degree burn scars that smells vaguely of homeopathic deodorant.
   
• The inanimate corpse of actor River Phoenix.