West seems to be the best out of all the other choices. At least if you go that way, you can check out the Rotato of mystery, as well as that fairly nondescript (and altogether obvious) palm tree and "x" spot just beyond it. You hear the distant voice of Schwarzenegger's floating head calling to you, "you must choose wisely. Now go! Go! Now, get down! Then when you're finished, go see Kindergarten Cop. In it, I play a police officer who has to become a teacher and the children..." You take off running, and thankfully, the voice is out of your head after a couple minutes.

After hours of walking, you see a towering structure on the horizon. It looks to be a giant Rotato kit. Hmm, you think to yourself, maybe the treasure is inside a giant potato, and I need to peel the skin off to get it out. That makes perfect sense. You double your pace and make it to the megalithic appliance in no time.

Well, there's good news, and there's bad news: the bad news is that there is nothing around the Rotato that could be skinned, and there's a sign staked in the ground next to it that says "discontinued." The good news is that at the base of the sign is the skinless corpse of Billy Mays. Looks like the Rotato unleashed its final fury upon the energetic corporate shill when he tried to close it down for good. Oh well, no more of those Oxy Clean commercials, at least not for a while.

The walk to the low-res palm tree and "x" is comparatively shorter than the long trek to the giant Rotato. Good, at least the map is to scale. As you climb over a low sand dune, you spot the segmented, charcoal-black palm tree over the crest of another, further dune. Alright, you think to yourself, it's finally time for me to get my hands on some treasure. As you race to cover the remaining distance, you giddily think to yourself how you'll spend all the gold and silver doubloons, not to mention the jewels, the priceless gems, the...

You come to a screeching stop, which is more like a sandy stop given your surroundings, when you see that there's an empty hole next to the strange palm tree, along with a discarded shovel sitting next to the hole. You stare slack-jawed into the empty hole, wondering how this could have happened. You spot some movement out of the corner of your eye. There's a piece of paper lying underneath the handle of the shovel. You lunge for it, thinking it might be a dollar, but you find that it is instead a note:

Dear sucker,

You must be wondering how someone beat you to the treasure. Easy: I had the map that led me to the treasure way before you. I swiped it from you when I found it on your unconscious body back at the Lunchbox Museum. From there, it was just common sense that led me to the head of Schworzen... Shwartzenegg... Arnold. I admit, though, I can't find any way off of this island, so I have a proposition for you: let's you and I have us a good old fashioned showdown for no reason at all. If you accept, I'll be waiting (with my treasure) in the island's left eye socket. See you later.

Signed,

Your Nemesis

Your nemesis? You hate that guy! You'd better do something quick. But what?

You decide to:

• Haul ass to the eye.
   
• Search for a weapon before you go.
   
• Ask Arnold's head for help.
   
• Circle around and approach the eye from the other side.