Forget the damned horse. That cave looks a lot more promising. Besides, saddle sores are painful enough; you can't imagine what kind of rash you'd get from riding bareback on a horse made of gingerbread. You ignore the horse and walk towards the cave. Every few steps, the horse nudges you again, until you become fed up with the confectionary equestrian, and take a bite out of his muzzle. The horse lets out a pained neigh, and gallops away. Hey, that rhymes. I could be a poet!

Anyway, the horse comes to rest in a field near to the tree that Ben is currently devouring, and starts grazing on the jellybean grass. Ben ceases stuffing his face with chocolate tree and starts sniffing around the gingerbread horse. After a few moments of sniffing, he licks his lips and takes a big bite out of the horse's posterior. The horse is startled (and rightfully so), and kicks Ben square in the head. Normally, gingerbread is quite soft, but someone took the liberty of shoeing this horse with month-old licorice. The licorice horseshoe leaves an ugly U-shaped dent on Ben's forehead. It almost looks like he's got a second smile, at least until drool starts pouring out of his original smile.

Oh well. Them's the breaks. You reach the cave a short while later. This must be where Pestilential Pete hid the treasure, as there are some jagged bite marks from his crooked teeth in the wall. Too bad the cave itself isn't made of candy. Though that does explain the teeth you found in Pete's pockets.

No time to worry about the dental records of a dead man, though. After walking through the entrance, traversing the fire pit, navigating the World's Smallest Labyrinth, leaping over the crocodile pit, and paying off your student loans, you arrive at the treasure. Finally, victory is within your grasp, and no booze-soaked skel is around to steal it away this time.

What is around, though, is much worse.

It seems that muscular B-movie actor Dolph Lundgren is guarding the treasure. You loved The Punisher, but if he stands in your way, you'll have to take him out. You ask him what he's doing here.

"I'm in the middle of a break from shooting my latest movie, A Day at the Beach... of Action!, and I was looking to make a little extra cash, so this crazy pirate guy said he'd split this treasure with me if I guarded it until he killed some scrappy drifter."

Boy, you're extra glad that you roughed up Pestilential Pete's corpse. But how to get rid of Lundgren...

You decide to:

• Tell him that Pete is dead.
   
• Throw a couple fake, Rocky-esque punches and hope he buys it.
   
• Pretend to be a PA from his movie.
   
• Tell him his movies blow, and run.