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What to bring, what to
bring? It's the kind of question that could break a young man's soul,
the kind of question a lad could ponder and ponder until his ponderer
was sore and blistered and he had to stop 'pondering' because his sister
needs the damn bathroom, it isn't his private bathroom, good sweet
Jesus, will the whole family be glad when you go so they could use the
god damn bathroom once in a while and everybody knows what you're doing
in there and other people have to use it afterwards, you useless,
disgusting, pock marked little troll! Thank God the owner of the camp,
Dr. Ellis Zyland, Formerly of the Zyland Institute for Criminally Insane
Virtually Unkillable Youth (ZICIVUY), sent a letter making
recommendations.
Let's see here now...
"Congratulations prospective camper…" yadda yadda yadda "Best Indian
summer of your life" etc. etc. "drinking water now relatively free of
giardia…" uh huh, uh uh, oh, here we go! "Make sure to bring plenty of:"
"Bug spray", got it, "towels", got 'em, "pre-stamped letters home", got
'em, "bandages", got 'em, "Body armor", got 'em, " Several pints of
blood, your type." got 'em, "Really, really good running shoes", got 'em,
"and PLEASE don't forget a toothbrush, a comb, shampoo, and various
other toiletries.
WOW! PHEWSH! Thank god for the Good Doctors list! Since your time is the
bathroom is generally spent 'pondering', personal hygiene has, as usual,
been overlooked..
You quickly:
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