You're looking for a 'pondering' joke, aren't you? Damn, that's why you picked this choice, just so you can once more read a joke you've been told enough to recognize and laugh your little recognition laugh, like some kind of high school freshman loser trying to be cool by squeaking "I'm Rick James, Bitch!" Well fuck you. This is a "Choose Your Own Adventure" story, not some tired ass Saturday Night Live rerun for you to scrape a stale catchphrase out of.

So anyway, you head to Boys Bunk Six, cause that's the cool, older CIT's 'Summer Crib' and because the extra special one week fall session is only available to cool, older CIT's who've been to camp before and know the ropes and haven't moved on because they know that cool CIT is about the most status they'll ever have in life and because the camps owner knows this place is all you've got and your parents would be happy to leak a little green to get your sad, acne scarred ass out of the house for a week, and isn't it a little creepy your folks know about the acne scars? And you head straight for the bathroom to take a quick leak and...

...a HUGE ASS LOBSTER jumps out of the urinal and with one mighty snap of his claw severs your never to be used, extra deluxe virginal crank, and you drop to the floor and BLEED TO DEATH! THAT'S RIGHT! YOU'RE DEAD! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT 'PONDERING' JOKE, MR. SMART GUY?!

No, I'm just kidding, there's no lobster, this is the "correct answer" page.

So anyway, you masturbate, cause it's been like eight hours since you last committed the Sin of Onan and then as you're peeing you notice graffiti over the urinal that you're sure wasn't there the year before. It's says "Look up" and and arrow points toward the ceiling. Looking up, you notice another scrawled saying about a foot and a half higher up the wall. "Look up" it says, with another arrow. You do, and once more, the words read "Look up". And there, written on the ceiling in red paint are the words "INDIAN SUMMER SESSION, 2004, I SHALL RETURN. THIS TIME, NO SURVIVORS".

Wow. That's not funny at all. Maybe you just don't get it. Maybe it's like the stuff in college bathrooms where it only makes sense once you've read the books on the Intro to Humanities syllabus. Aren't college bathrooms like the best place in the world? Humanities almost has the word 'titties' in it. You're thinking it's probably time to masturbate again when you notice how shiny and wet and fresh looking the red paint is and then a little bloop of it drops off and lands in the urinal and disperses just like the drops in the bathtub in "Psycho", which means the paint on the ceiling isn't paint, it's chocolate syrup. Then a human eyeball drops into the urinal.

You:

• Scream like a girlscout and clutch your wiener so hard the head looks like whichever billiard ball is the purple one.
   
• Check to make sure both your eyes are in your head.
   
• Split up and look for clues.
   
• Dry your shoes, zip up and go looking for help.