Uh oh. Guess you should've picked the first card. You immediately start
to wig out. This whole trip has gone all FUBAR on you, and now it looks
an awful lot like you're going to die. Luckily, since the plane's
bathroom is only slightly larger than a coffin, you won't have to worry
about burial arrangements.
Maybe there's still hope. Maybe you can shell out another quarter to the
terrifying bathroom novelty and get a different fortune. Hell, maybe you
can give him two more quarters and insist that it be a good fortune.
It's certainly worth a shot. Unfortunately (and you are really getting
sick of that word), that was your last quarter, as you spent the rest of
them buying gumballs and one of those sticky hand things from the myriad
gumball-type machines back at the airport. "Curse you, sticky hand," you
bellow, "you've killed me!"
As if in response to your rage, the plane begins to dip sharply. Hey,
maybe if you grab up one of the other cards, your fortune will transfer
over. Unfor… I mean, the "U-word", the other cards have vanished as if
by magic. Normally, magic tricks would surprise and delight you, but
this has exactly the opposite effect. Ok… maybe you can beg your way to
safety. You assume the position for maximum begging potential, with your
knees planted firmly on the floor and your hands folded in prayer to the
god of loose change. Before you can poke yourself in the eye to get a
nice tear going, Fjornok springs to life once more:
"WORRY NOT, O GIVER OF QUARTERS! INCLUDED IN YOUR PURCHASE IS A
FOOLPROOF ESCAPE PLAN THAT I HAVE CONCOCTED WITH MY WIZARDLY MIND!!!"
You manage to suppress your panic long enough to ask Fjornok about how
he plans to get out of here. "After all," you add, "all we've got in
here is a tiny sink and the toilet."
"DON'T MAKE ME SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU!"
With that, Fjornok gingerly rubs his crystal ball and flips up the
toilet lid with his foot. Oh yeah, you're gonna die alright. You don't
know much about blue ice, but you're fairly sure a fall from this height
will crush you into haggis. Upon looking inside the toilet, you see a
magical whirlpool, instead of the far less magical poo whirlpool
typically seen in plane toilets. You're still quite skeptical, but
Fjornok won't take "no" for an answer. He forces your head into the
toilet and screams, "PREPARE FOR THE SWIRLEE OF YOUR LIFE!" *flush*
Oh, the colors! They swirl about you as you tumble head over heels
through an endless panorama of light and large, complicated words like
"panorama." The smell, however, reminds you of where you are, and you
ride out the rest of your freefall with one hand covering your mouth and
nose.
Astonishingly, you survive your harrowing toilet adventure. Not only
that, but that lavatory wormhole has deposited you just outside the
airport on Paradise Island. As you survey the scene, you spot the plane
you were just on as it hurtles downward and crashes on the beach located
surprisingly close to the airport. Ah, what to do next, you wonder
blithely. You could head over to the beach and see if anyone survived
the crash (and maybe work on your tan). On the other hand, you could
just as easily head on over to your hotel and start emptying out the
minibar. On the other other hand, the vestigial third hand that you had
removed when you were ten and that you wished everyone would stop
talking about, you could try to locate Fjornok and thank him for saving
your bacon. As you weigh the options in your head, it slowly dawns on
you that you have retained the smell of the airplane toilet you just
warped through. Maybe you ought to take care of that, smelly.
