You decide that your
top priority after crashing down on the island isn't to check for
survivors from the plane crash, or to thank the mystical plastic
wizard-in-a-box who saved you, but rather you need to get this stinky,
stank-ass stink off of you. You can check on that other stuff later. I
mean, after all, who wants to be rescued from a burning plane by someone
who smells like poop? Certainly not me, you think assuredly.
You wander around the
island for a bit looking for a pool or puddle to wash yourself off in,
when you suddenly remember that you're actually on an island! You head
to the beach about a mile down from the smoldering plane wreckage,
reminding yourself that you'll check for survivors just as soon as you
remove some of the ick you've got all over you. You find a nice secluded
area surrounded by large rocks.
After splashing around in the water for a while, you're satisfied that
you're clean and start to climb out onto one of the rocks, when you find
yourself looking up at a bright red boot. Your eyes trace the boot up a
long lady leg and eventually after lingering at the chest area for about
half a minute, your eyes meet those of Lynda Carter, young again and
dressed up as Wonder Woman.
"What are you
doing on Paradise Island?" she demands of you, pushing you back down
into the water with her booted foot.
"Taking a bath," you reply curtly. "What are you doing here?"
"Paradise Island is my home where I and a bunch of other nubile,
scantily clad women hang out on the beautiful beaches and train for
combat by wrestling one another in giant mud pits."
"I'm starting to see why they call it Paradise Island..." you mutter
quietly to yourself.
"Speak, man!" she pushes you firmly back down into the water with her
boot. "Why are you here? What is that plane doing there?" she asks,
gesturing toward the smoking wreckage.
Oh no!, you
think. The plane! If William Shatner, young and black-and-white as he
is, survived the crash, I'll have no chance with the ladies here!
Wonder Woman is looking pretty fed up with your stalling though, so
you'd better tell her something quick.
