Damnit! For the last time, I told you I'm already stocked up with corpses to eat for the next 3 friggin' years and I... oh... heh... it's you. Sorry, I thought you were my grocery delivery guy. So I take it you're here because you think you can handle a scary story, right? Well then, we'll just have to see about that, skippy. Last year, myself and the other I-Mockery staff members abducted your brains with another Halloween "Select Your Destiny" story, "Alien Invasion!" This year, we're going to up the ante. We're not exactly sure what the ante is, but wherever the ante is hiding, you can bet the spooky demons living in your nether regions that we're gonna lift it high above our heads! We might even work out a deal with NASA to send that ante higher than it's ever been before! Up you go, ante! Up you go!

For those of you who are unacquainted with these stories, allow me to give you a quick refresher on how these "Select Your Destiny" things work. YOU get to determine what happens to your character in the story. For example: if you choose to have your character "violently rape the rusty old blender to teach it a lesson" and it ends up killing you, it's your own damned fault for making such a stupid decision. If you haven't already read them, you might also want to check out some of our previous "Select Your Destiny" stories from yesteryear in our Halloween Collection.

This year, we've returned with a story so insanely unholy that it was been banned by churches around the globe - before it was even announced to the public! You'll soon be looking at your surroundings in an entirely different light. Is that wall real? Is this computer monitor real? Is that leech sucking the vital juices out of your eyeball real? All of these things and more will be called into question as you read deeper and deeper into this repulsive recitation for reprobates. All these horrors and more just around the corner and yet here you sit... ready to go swimming in the black blood of the earth. Could it be blind arrogance or utter stupidity? Whatever the case may be, it's time for you to dive headfirst into our 2007 "Select Your Destiny" Halloween masterpiece...

"VIDEO GAME VOODOO!"

CLICK HERE TO START YOUR JOURNEY!