I-Mockery's Ultimate Guide To The Halloween Candies Of 2014!
by: -RoG-


Charms Caramel Apple Super Blow Pop

Here's the other Super Blow Pop that Charms put out this season. It's caramel apple flavored and it's just as good as the candy corn pop. As you can see from the photo, the apple flavoring takes the backseat here, as the lollipop tastes like pure caramel. It's delicious, but there's virtually no apple flavoring here. These candy companies really gotta work on blending two flavors better. I should also note that you can get the caramel apple flavor in the regular, non-super Blow Pop size too.

out of 5 haunted houses

Zombie Bacon Candy

I'm honestly surprised it took them this many years to cash in on the bacon craze for Halloween. That said, I didn't expect it to be in the form of zombie bacon gummy candy strips that aren't flavored like bacon at all. No, these are promoted to be strawberry-vanilla flavored, and they're covered in crystallized sugar. It tastes pretty good if you're into strawberry gummy candy, but there's not much vanilla here.

Also, how is it "zombie" bacon exactly? Did a zombie prepare it? Is it supposed to be made from zombie flesh? All I see on the package are a couple of skeleton hands. Oh the unanswered questions that novelty candies leave us with each year...

out of 5 brains in jars of formaldehyde

Campfire Scary Berry Blue Raspberry Marshmallows

If you've been reading this site for years, you know I'm a huge fan of blue raspberry flavored anything, so I was really excited to try these out. For starters, there's no denying that these "Scary Berry" marshmallows have some truly fantastic packaging, complete with real ghosts and a terrified trick-or-treater dressed as a ghost in front of a backdrop graveyard silhouette. Also, each marshmallow is shaped like a ghost with a light blue tint. They taste somewhat sour, but even more surprising is how incredibly strong the flavor is, rather than mild like you'd expect a marshmallow to be. I'm a huge fan of blue raspberry flavoring, but it just doesn't work here. It's unfortunate too, cuz Campfire really did do an excellent job on the presentation. If they can improve the flavor, they might have a real winner on their hands.

out of 5 hearses

Foaming Zombie Candy

No, that's not a vial of cocaine, but you could probably pass it off as one. This might be the first time I've seen a white raspberry flavored candy, and considering it's called "Foaming Zombie Candy", they missed a great opportunity to make a White Zombie pun with it. The flavor is nice; not too sour and not too bland. Good stuff. I just don't understand why they called it "foaming" zombie candy, as it doesn't foam or bubble in your mouth at all. Maybe the zombie was foaming when they killed it? We'll likely never know.

out of 5 Counts (ah-ah-ah!)

R.I.P. Gothic Chocolate Roses

This seems like a product you'd see for sale outside of the Halloween season, but it's the first time I've stumbled onto it. The R.I.P. Gothic Chocolate Roses come in a cellophane wrapper just like a bundle of roses would, and it even has a tombstone sticker on it so you can address it to your Halloween loved ones of choice. What I love about the illustration is that the tombstone itself is actually bleeding from several cracks and has a spider crawling on it with a skull on its back. Gotta appreciate odd little details like that.

The black rose stem is plastic and the thorns are worn down so they won't hurt anyone. Would be great if the stem was edible too... like some kind of black licorice. The rose itself is wrapped separately in black tin foil, and it's the same kind of hollow milk chocolate you'd find in an Easter bunny. Pretty good, and certainly one of the most unique Halloween candy presentations you'll find this season.

out of 5 leaf piles

Oozing Skulls

Here's yet another Target release, and it's a nice little package featuring a decanter filled with the candies and a skull cap on top of it. When I saw these Oozing Skulls, I immediately thought I had lucked upon a modern version of "Skull Crushers" and Black Forest "Juicy Oozers" gummy skulls. I mean, look at them - each skull is fruit flavored and FILLED with candy blood that you can see inside 'em. They look great.

Unfortunately, these aren't what's advertised. The blood is not liquid, nor does it ooze. I squeezed the hell out of it and it barely moved. It's more like a softer red gelatin within the sturdier outer white skull gummy. They're also not incredibly delicious like the Skull Crushers and Juicy Oozers were. The skulls have more of a generic gummy fruit flavor. They're not bad, but considering how excited I was about finding these, they were a big letdown.

out of 5 black widow spiders

Charms Candy Corn Pops

These taste just like the candy corn Blow Pops, but without the bubblegum. To be honest, I actually prefer these over the Blow Pops, simply because I don't need the bubble gum. When I want candy corn flavoring, that's all I want. Once again, they're individually wrapped, and the packaging is great too, with illustrations of candy corn and fall leaves. Well worth picking up a bag of these, whether you're handing 'em out to trick-or-treaters or devouring 'em all by yourself.

out of 5 Chucky dolls

Twix Ghosts

Who doesn't love Twix? Aliens, that's who. Everyone else? The love Twix. Well, they've thrown their hat into the Halloween ring this year with new Twix Ghosts. They come in single packs or double packs, but I don't understand why they would come as singles though... that seems to defeat the whole purpose of Twix. The candy itself looks just like the ghost on the package, except that it has the word "Twix" stamped on its chest. Perhaps this is the ghost of a factory worker that fell into one of the Twix candy mixing vats? Unlike some other candies that skimp on the ingredients when they introduce their quirky seasonal shapes, these Twix Ghosts do no such thing. So yeah, if you're not an alien who hates Twix, you'll like these too.

  out of 5 puzzle boxes

Oh but there's more!


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