Features

I-Mockery Pays A Visit To Olvera Street
by: -RoG-

...CONTINUED


There was plenty o' jewelry available, and as you can see, Death is always in fashion.


I think the rainbow bracelet on the bottom left was inspired by Tetris blocks.


As you can see, there are other masks available if Mexican wrestling ones aren't your cup o' tea.


He may be all sliced up, but Leatherface still looks oddly happy.


Are you the puppet or the puppeteer? I know... I JUST BLEW YOUR MIND.


I really meant to buy some of these grab bags before I left, but it slipped my mind.
Guess I'll have to make another trip back to Olvera Street to uncover what's in these bags.
Gotta give the shop owners kudos for taking the time to decorate the bags (or forcing their children to).


This is what authentic ninja outfits look like.


Anybody up for a game of Snakes & Ladders?


It's hard to read but the box cautions you to "avoid the sharp matter & point".
What the hell are they putting into these puffer balls!?


Fajitas es muy delicioso!


Your Christmas tree will never look this good.


It's good to know that their beards will continue to thrive in the afterlife.


I think I'll stick with regular lollipops.


I've had many nightmares in my life. Rarely do I get to see them live and in person.


Skulls for 50 cents. What a deal!


This is how the Last Supper would've looked if it was awesome.


All aboard the happy van to Bolivia!


Dia De Los Muertos is represented in this display case like a rainbow of undead awesomeness.


Don't fear the reaper... fear an army of reapers with scythes and balls.


Hey pig.


$2000 for a ferris wheel horse sans the ferris wheel? NO.


I can always appreciate a nice hand-carved chess set.


Suddenly, I feel like a bowl of Fruit Loops.


Yes... dad.


From here on out Spider-Man and Batman will be known as...
SUPERMAN: THE CITY GUARDER!


Beastly Fist Corps? BEASTLY FIST CORPS!? That's gotta be the greatest toy name I've ever heard of!
BEASTLY FIST CORPS!


Benign Girl. Well... I... guess it's good she's cancer free?


Transformers? No. Transformable Robots? Yes.


When you need every absurd version of Batman ever produced, look no further than the Batman Power action figure set!


Viva Vader!


This isn't just a super dinosaur... it's a SUPER SUPER DINOSAUR!


This package is glorious. Not only is the Transformers name covered up by Prime's truck at the bottom, not only is it called an InterChangeRobot Convoy, not only is Optimus plastered all over the package... but this toy looks NOTHING like Optimus.


Super China Toys proudly presents: The Transformable Unicorn!


All album covers should be this impeccable.


I was really excited to find a fresh bath of Mexican Monografias.
Unfortunately, none of these covered anything controversial like the ones I've reviewed in the past.


I think we have ourselves a new contestant in the ongoing battle for world's finest cologne.

And with the Chango Macho bottle, our little tour of the sights of Olvera Street has come to an end. I'll definitely be going back there sometime (I do have some $1 mystery bags to pick up after all), and I highly suggest all of you check it out in person if you're ever in the Los Angeles area. Vamos amigos!

Have any questions or comments about this piece?
Email -RoG-

 

If you enjoyed this piece, be sure to check out:

Crazy Mexican Monografias Part 1: Alcoholismo!
Crazy Mexican Monografias Part 1: Alcoholismo!

Reader Comments

Clap if you love Dynamo
Feb 5th, 2009, 04:37 AM
Gotta love the knock off toys, I got a bunch of "Fighter GT" figures that look suspiciously like a certain set of well know Japanese animation toys that I found at a dollar general. I Stop at these dollar stores now and then to see what knock off toys they have this week.
Member
Feb 5th, 2009, 06:00 AM
I keep misreading the sign, but it's okay because "Crab Bags" would also be enticing.

The packaging for all the knockoff superheroes and Power Rangers (because they surely can't count as actual superheroes) are among the greatest things I've seen.
Member
Feb 5th, 2009, 07:20 AM
Hah, it's hilarious to see how my Mexican brethren is still selling tons of luchador masks, the staple of many markets. I fee however that it looks more like a halloween sale... Perhaps that's what dragged you there after all, -RoG-.

And, by the way, I am damn sure that the Beastly Fist Corops package has a mistake with the spelling of the name... I can see it says Beastly FLst Corps.

As for the InterChangeRobot Convoy, well who knows! Maybe his name is Transfo after all.
taco loving zombie
Feb 5th, 2009, 08:39 AM
lol we have a market like this every sunday over here i love going cause i find bootleged movies knock off toys and pretty much everything. the clown mask is a lucha mask there was a team of wrestlers who were all clowns and they had all thosse mask eventually
is hopped up on goofballs
Feb 5th, 2009, 10:47 AM
I could swear I've seen that first bootleg toy pack somewhere...maybe Matt over at X-E had one at some point?
The Ugly Puckling
Feb 5th, 2009, 01:44 PM
Correcto, Rizzo.


And fantastic article, by the by, really funny stuff.
skank pronger
Feb 5th, 2009, 02:36 PM
"Transfo" appears to be based on the mold of the Stunticon leader. Can't remember his name.
Member
Feb 5th, 2009, 03:48 PM
Yeah and just in case somone was living in a cave, convoy is prime's name in japan. "Interchange" refers to what we would call the interstate.
As u wish...
Feb 5th, 2009, 04:44 PM
wow, this place beats the crap outta Juarez here!! plus, u dont run the risk of getting shot by drug czars!! (or do u??)
Pickled Patriarch
Feb 5th, 2009, 04:56 PM
DarkfireTaimatsu, I thought it said "Crab Bags" too when I first saw it! It's cuz it was drawn in such light marker colors. I wish they were Crab Bags... there's no way I would've forgotten those.

Silver, hehe yeah I think it is spelled incorrectly as "FLst Corps". Even better!

HowardC, yeah I actually reviewed one of the Optimus Prime Japanese "Convoy" toys a while back... the Optimus Prime Pepsi Convoy to be exact! Check it out.
the axe and the smasher
Feb 5th, 2009, 06:36 PM
I see those super hero sets all the time here in Atlanta. If you take the hulk toy out of the package, he'll have no painted ass. Just green hulk butt for all to see.

The k.o Convoy looks like an extremely goofy Motormaster with Menasaurs head attached.
Last of the Time Lords
Feb 5th, 2009, 07:49 PM
Those bootleg packages are so dumb they hurt to look at.

But when you think about it, "Transfo" is actually pretty clever. Any kid looking at it will think it's the word "Transformers" covered up by the truck, and that they should buy it because Transformers are cool. But when Hasbro sues the company for violating their copyright they can just look all innocent and say "What? This toy is clearly named 'Transfo'". And while the truck on the front may look like Optimus, it could just be a truck. No way to prove otherwise.

Now I'm not certain if these toys were produced by devious masterminds of infringement, or if they just got lucky.
Forum Virgin
Feb 5th, 2009, 08:24 PM
Oh cool! Chango, the Santeria god of passion, war, thunder, lightning, masculinity, and female fertility.
Member
Feb 5th, 2009, 09:36 PM
I want those Lucha Masks and one crystal ball wielding Reaper.
Member
Feb 5th, 2009, 09:59 PM
The knock-off toys made me laugh so hard. xD
The Magnificent Bastard
Feb 6th, 2009, 12:42 AM
I love the "Superheros" packs.

From now on, I'll consider Mr. Incredible, Raphael, Naruto, and Buzz members of the Justice League!

Actually, after "Final Crisis" (which I didn't read) they very well could be!

Also, love how "Super-Warrior: Ninja-force" featured all the "Turbo" Power Rangers (Or "Carranger", in Japan).
grants but one wish
Feb 6th, 2009, 12:47 AM
its like a neverending stream of badly made, yet hillarious cheap knockoffs!
except the chess set, that looked pretty cool

DarkfireTaimatsu: are you sure? a crab bag sounds like something i'd rather avoid...
Member
Feb 6th, 2009, 01:59 AM
greenimp: Nah, crabs are adorable little buggers. Almost as cute as lobsters, but stubbier.
Member
Feb 6th, 2009, 05:18 AM
Rog, that was hilarious. Yet another reason I need to win the lotto so I can take a road trip that-a-way.
The Power of Grayskull
Feb 6th, 2009, 03:18 PM
I really really want that Vader T-Shirt. For some reason, to me, it's the epitomy of awesomeness and I must have it. Any chance of you grabbing one for me when you go back for the grab bags Rog? I'll email you and work out the details if you don't mind.
grants but one wish
Feb 6th, 2009, 04:36 PM
DarkfireTaimatsu: i was actually reffering to the other kind of crabs... the ones that are no fun at all
Member
Feb 6th, 2009, 11:16 PM
greenimp: Yuck...

By the way, the Spider-Man that is on the first photo depicting a bootleg toy pack seems to be so shocked about the "Catch all baddy" line that he is just staring to it in disbelief.
Tinker tailor sailor scry
Feb 7th, 2009, 05:55 PM
Oh man, Naruto, Batman, Spider-Man and Iron Man in the same toy package? And I thought the bootlegs at the nearby Chinatown mall were bad, hahahaha.....

I want one of those Luchador masks.
Can't touch this
Feb 7th, 2009, 08:00 PM
I simply MUST have that Vader shirt that proudly proclaims "Soy el padre, Mijo". Also one that would say "El NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Mr. everywhere
Feb 7th, 2009, 11:57 PM
i absolutely love the fact that "the naruto" is willing to fight beside batman and such.

and not to sound like an anime nerd or anything but they even got the wrong naruto generation in there.
The Magnificent Bastard
Feb 8th, 2009, 04:34 PM
LOL! Hey I didn't even notice that, but you're right!

And yeah, I kinda wish that it would be easier for American and Japanese comics companies to arrange crossovers with each-other. Because, if only Marvel and DC would team-up with Shônen Jump, I would love to see Naruto fighting alongside those guys.
Freelance Product Tester
Feb 8th, 2009, 05:51 PM
Rog, you really should do another El serpento piece. I loved those.
Forum Virgin
Feb 9th, 2009, 03:05 AM
I think these jumble-sale type reviews are my favourite on this site. I mean, where else can you read about Frida Kahlo figures, ZZ top skeletons, awesome Vader shirts and bootleg superhero toys?
(Although X-Entertainment already reviewed the bootleg toys)
RoG, I salute you.
pickled
Feb 9th, 2009, 04:59 AM
Man, that street is awesome.
ion is good
Feb 9th, 2009, 05:11 PM
superman naruto and hulk ? ps i am a man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Crazed Techno-Biologist
Feb 10th, 2009, 02:00 AM
Its like an alternate-ethnic chinatown shopping district. I love those sorts of places.
Who? Me?
Feb 10th, 2009, 09:14 AM
Don't laugh---I've actually seen those tequila flavored candy worms (or whatever they are) in a candy store in my area. (That store's closed now, but that's besides the point.)
Forum Virgin
Feb 11th, 2009, 05:30 AM
At the local county fair last year, someone had a few knockoff toys like these, but while I'll pay $1 for them at my local supermarket, I almost refuse to pay close to $20 (I think) for them. On the first one, I notice it says "This is Superman! He will world!" Does it say "save the" under the Batman logo on the left side?

I love how they colored Spidey's eyes black with silver around them in the Naruto package, instead of the other way... looks like he's stoned.

Elite Ranger: The four on the left look like Dino Thunder/Abaranger (especially the white one). Can't tell on the other two, too much glare (but the silver one looks like Titanium Ranger, possibly, from Lightspeed Rescue).

I think I picked up some "Super Warrior Ninja Force" figures at recently-mentioned supermarket, though they looked slightly differently designed.

Another thing about skeleton ZZ Top: They have an extra guitarist!

I definitely want one of those fortune teller reapers.

Beastly FLst Corps: Jungle Fury/Gekiranger knockoff.

So... are the Transformable Robots called "A Tower of Strength" and "Steel General"?

Vader t-shirt definitely looks cool, as has been said.

The unicorn's plastered with Mystic Force/Magiranger artwork, but I don't recognize it from any of the shows.

Very funny post, reminds me of the mass garage sale articles (which I always get a good laugh out of whenever I re-read them).
King of AWESOME!
Mar 6th, 2009, 10:50 PM
I wanna get a Lucha mask! Too bad I live in Canada.
The stank on the hangdown
Mar 17th, 2009, 12:16 AM
I used to BE an Elite Ranger...I'll just say that we punked out Power Rangers regularly.
Forum Virgin
Mar 19th, 2009, 05:43 PM
My Christmas tree will be as awesome, because I actually bought the green skull with the orange flowers. I must have been just minutes behind you.

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