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When it comes to public service announcements, America is really quite
tame compared to the rest of the world. While we have the ultra-corny
NBC celebrity spots which always end with "The more you know...",
other countries aren't nearly as sheepish when it comes to displaying
the harsh realities of life. This became even clearer to me when I
stumbled upon an incredible collection of Mexican monografias posters in the basement of a Philadelphia art gallery
last year.
Some of them were
extremely graphic, and others were pretty friggin' hilarious...
needless to say I purchased one of each.
ALCOHOLISMO!
So, for the next couple of weeks I'll be putting all of these crazy
monografia posters up on I-Mockery for you to enjoy. The poster for today is
all about alcoholism, and compared to some of the other posters
I'll be displaying later on, this one is actually somewhat tempered. So let's take a closer look at each of
the scenarios presented in this informative public service
announcement. My Spanish is a bit
rusty, but I'll do my best to translate them for you.
Hmmm,
I'm getting a few mixed signals here. From what I can tell, if you
become an alcoholic, one of several things can happen to you: a) you
can crash your car into a telephone pole, b) you'll appear in your
very own television commercial, or c) you'll somehow fall into a
huge glass of liquor which a giant will then pick up to drink and
you'll die in his stomach. See what I mean? Those Mexicans aren't
gonna shy away from the truth about alcoholism. Harsh
reality, people.
"Warning: alcohol has been known to attract Juan Valdez's gay brother,
Herb."
"While you're off being
drunk in the corner, laughing at your
own shitty jokes, some dude is gettin' it on with your wife."
"Because you drink so much, they tore down your grandma's
house to build yet another booze factory... you selfish dick."
"Can't have just one more for the road? Then maybe this hottie
will have to go feed grapes to a real man instead. Drink up!"
"Warning: Alcoholics Anonymous is a pyramid scheme."
"Meet Harvey. In his spare time, Harvey enjoys tasting
the splendors of life in the form of urine-filled test tubes.
DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE."
"Dave isn't letting you wear his ring on a necklace for nothing. So
you might as well chug a few before he has his way with you, José.
"We all know that drinking can make you pregnant. What most people
don't
realize is that drinking can make the child in your womb pregnant as
well."
"Drinking will give you the bright idea of spraypainting your band's
name
on the cracked walls of an alley. Problem is, you'll be so goddamned
drunk
by the time you get there, you won't even remember the name of your
band. So, in your drunken glory, you'll spray the words "band" on the
walls instead and your friends will then make a toast in honor of your
jackassness."
"Listen up junior, and listen up good. I don't care if you are sick as
hell, daddy
will beat the hell out of you if you try drinking some NyQuil. That's
daddy's 'backup booze' in case he runs out of the good stuff and the
stores are closed."
"If you don't drink enough, you'll end up back on the streets where
you belong."
I also
found another alcohol-related PSA poster, but it was cut up pretty
badly and unfortunately, there were no other copies left. Still, I
managed to salvage some of the pics from it... so here you go:
"You're always the center of attention when you drink... because
people
know they have a better chance of stealing your wallet when you're
inebriated."
"Some bottles of alcohol contain miniature humans who don't have any
genitals, and oh yeah, Death likes to hangout inside bottles too. Kind
of like a genie, but the only kind of wish he'll grant is your wish
for the sweet release of death."
"Why was that guy wearing dress shoes with that outfit?
Ram him with your car to find the answer!"
"Wanna look as cool as your dad? Drink up, junior!"
"Drink all you want, he'll still suck in bed."
"Warning: Drinking can result in an extremely poor choice of hats."
"Murder is always legal... when you're drunk."
Alright,
that's all for the Mexican monografia posters about alcoholism. I
don't know about you people, but I sure learned a lot today and I
can't wait to learn more with the next poster! Next on our learning
list...
LA PROSTITUCIÓN!
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