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[part 1 - the turnip] [part 2 - the potato]
[part 3 - the beet] [part 4 - the gourd]
I found it. I looked for two weeks and I found a gourd. And guess what? It's just a pumpkin shaped like a big pear. Which means you really have to use your imagination if you want to find a motif to suit the shape.
I picked the gourd up, looked at it hard and long, and started visualizing its potential. A true lantern artiste never forces a face on his lantern. Nay, he listens and lets the vegetable tell him its true name.
Hmm... no.
What the... Silly gourd, don't be such a nerd.
Oh, gourd, you're not crooked enough for that! Hahaha political humor! This is the best Halloween ever!
Maybe later.
Since I couldn't find anything interesting the traditional way, I decided to do something so radical and unprecedented that the wind itself held its breath while I was performing the incision. I turned the gourd 90 degrees before cutting it. Say goodbye to Halloween as you know it.
Once again, I had trouble coming up with a face for my lantern. "Maybe a wolf," I said. "How about a rat?" one of my flatmates suggested." "No, wolf is better," I said.
And voila, a wolf it was. Or a canine, anyway. You know what, since this is Australia, let's pretend it's a dingo. I wish I had thought of that while I was making it, I could have worked in hundreds of "dingoes ate my baby" jokes.
I couldn't let an opportunity for a Halloween trick of this caliber pass me by, so I hid behind the couch with the wolf lantern ready.
Oh, here comes Andreas now, blissfully unaware of what is hiding behind the sofa.
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!! It's a pinhead werefolf! No, wait! It's a pinhead weredingo here to eat your babies!
Uh oh, better hide your babies, Andy! Better hide them good!
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!
Look out-out-out-out-out-ouch!
Silly Andreas, there's no such thing as a weredingo! Or is there!?
Fool me twice shame on me!
While the lantern was a great success when it came to playing tricks, it's the candle test that really shows what a lantern is worth. And let me tell you, my werewolf was at least twice as scary as the werewolves in the movie Teen Wolf Too starring not Michael J Fox. Yeah, it's a werewolf again. I couldn't come up with more weredingo jokes.
Unfortunately, I hadn't read Max Burbank's safety tips before I carved my gourd, and it soon became apparent why most people make their lanterns the right side up.
OH SHI--
Evacuate!!
Oh well, who's gonna notice another bushfire in Australia? This marks the end of my lantern experiment. Why not try something different this Halloween yourself? Carve an orange or rhubarb or a banana this year. And don't forget to trick your friends!
-Pjalne
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