You glance around wildly for something to help the Toilet Duck with. In the corner of your eye, you spot a stack of blank paper lying unattended on a bench you didn't notice before. You have a flashback to your youth - it seems like you've been having a lot of those lately. But this one doesn't end with you lying on the floor in the fetal position, pounding your temples with clenched fists while screaming I'M A GOOD BOY, I'M A GOOD BOY. You recall... shop class. You hated shop class, but you were damned good at it. As you run over and pick up the paper, it seems as if a magical force takes hold of your hands, making them recall the old motions with perfect clarity. In a blur of fingers, you fashion a massive army of...

...origami ducks! While the three duck titans taunt each other in preparation of the inevitable onslaught, not noticing you, you quickly deploy the little paper mallards in a wide circle around them. Leaping into the bushes then, you put your hands around your mouth like a trumpet and shout in your best Daffy Duck impression:

"YOU'RE SWURROUNDED! YOU'RE SWURROUNDED!"

There is a sudden break in the three ducks' posturing. They look over the army you crafted... but only the Toilet Duck notices you poking out of the bushes. He gives you another fierce wink. The other ducks, however, are not so perceptive. Despite the fact that the Mack-Mack duck leaves a trail of fire wherever he goes, he's mack-macking in a frenzied panic, stumbling around and looking for a way out. When a sudden gust of tropical wind blows one of the origami ducks over, he utters a triumphant mack and bolts through the hole in your defense. You haven't seen the Mack-Mack duck since.

In the meantime, the Aflac duck seems thoroughly despaired by the departure of his ally. Finally, in a desperate lunge, he makes a break for the hole in the circle. And that's when the Toilet Duck makes his move. You cover your ears with your hands, trying to blot out the horrific tearing sounds as the Toilet Duck mauls the Aflac duck, throwing him on the ground, tearing off his head, but...? You rub your eyes and look again. Wait a second. That's not the Aflac duck, it's...

BEN AFFLECK!!

He's dressed in a giant duck suit and he's a crying mess, but there's no doubt about it, it's him! You rush out of the bushes and join the Toilet Duck, standing over Ben.

"Ben, why?" you ask.

"I don't know man, I don't know..." Ben says, weeping. "They paid me not to ask questions, I was at the end of my rope man, didn't you see Gigli? God! I can't take it anymore, the press, the paparazzi..." The rest is lost in incomprehensible sobs.

Saying "Quack quack quack", which seems to mean as much as "My work here is done", the Toilet Duck turns and rides off into the sunset. You wave all the way until he's out of sight. Then you turn to Ben again.

"Ben."
Sobbing.
"Ben, get up."
Sniffles. A faint "no."
"Get up Ben, or so help me I'll smack you."
Slowly, grudgingly, he struggles to his great webbed feet, wiping at his eyes with his wings.
"Ben, I'm going into that eye socket to get my treasure... and you're going to help me." you say.
Ben's face turns a ghastly pale. "No! No! Not the eye socket! The evil! The eeeeviiii-"

You swat him and he shuts up. Together, you walk into the eye socket, its borders aflame with a thousand years' worth of Mack-Mack duck fury. You realize you're stepping into the true, cancerous heart of Skull Island, the seed of evil that infests the land with... delicious candy? It appears that beyond the fiery exterior, the eye socket really is nothing more than an idyllic meadow of jellybean grass, chocolate trees and gingerbread animals. As Ben, still half-dressed in a duck suit, extorts an incoherent cry of glee and waddles over to one of the trees and begins to munch on it, you rub your skull and try to suppress the idea that you've become stuck in some twisted fairytale.

Checking out your options, you spot a cave in the distance that looks meaningful. You feel a nudging in your back and meet eyes with a majestic gingerbread horse. Ben is still happily munching tree with no regard whatsoever for his perfect complexion. What do you do?

You decide to:

• Leap onto the horse and ride off into the sunset.
   
• Stop Ben from eating the chocolate tree.
   
• Leave Ben behind and go explore the cave.
   
• Eat delicious candy.