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Shorts!

Insane Comic Book Covers:
World's Finest Comics!

by: Pjalne
 

Saving the world every day is really hard work. Not that I would know, not having super powers and all, but I think we all can assume keeping the criminally insane from escaping their apparently minimum-security asylums or carrying half the North Pole over to Saudi-Arabia to cool down burning oil pumps all day can be a bit stressful.

So it stands to reason Superheroes need a day off from time to time. And that's exactly what Superman, Batman and Robin did in 1943, according to World's Finest Comics. And it would appear they still hadn't gotten back to work by 1948. Perhaps all kinds of wild stuff happened inside the comic books, but if we judge by the covers, all these guys did all those years was hang out. Which leads us to today's collection of DC cover art, which I like to call "Superman, Batman and Robin's Gay Ole Time at the Fair".

Whutta??

When the fair came to town, Robin begged and pleaded all day until Batman and Superman agreed to bring him. There wasn't anything else to do anyway, and Superman wanted to check out the new cross-license He-Man/Superman grip tester to see if it was calibrated right. Imagine his surprise when he couldn't even make the arrow budge one inch! "Ohmigosh!" Batman exclaimed.

Looks like you'll have to get a new pair of Pixie pants, Robin.

Supes got his sweet revenge later, though. Looks like you'll have to stick to the rice cakes this week, Robin. Wouldn't want you to snap the bat-rope when you're climbing up a skyscraper!

Ach du Lieber!

Then they went to the target range.

"And afterwards, you will give us both foot massages."

"If it isn't the world's finest superheroes and also Robin!" the fair managed exclaimed when he saw the three of them petting the horses. "Could you maybe join our show later? I would be ever so grateful!" And join the show they did. And since the fun machines had concluded Robin was heavy and Superman was a little weakling, guess who had to carry the two others? It was Robin!

In other news: millions died in a flood while Superman was juggling his friends.

"Thank you for your help!" said the manager. "Say, maybe you fellows would be interested in our sports competition! There's a prize!" And of course they were up for some sports. First up was the gymnastics event. Superman was able to keep his friends up in the air for almost thirty minutes, giving Batman, the dark avenger who strikes fear into the hearts of all criminals, ample time to brood.

SUPERFART!

Unfortunately, the trio lost the second event because they misunderstood the rules and competed against each other. Worse yet, they lost a point for losing against Robin! "I do say," said the manager, "what the fuck was that all about?"

Superfriends are there for each other!

By now, Superman and Batman was in such a mischievous mood that they played a prank on Robin during the tandem cycling event. Poor Robin couldn't understand what all the other contestants were laughing about!

High five!

"All right, boys, let's get serious and win this thing!" Superman exclaimed. And boy did they ever! On the basket court they won 54-12 over a poor family from Kentucky, who were in Metropolis to visit an old aunt.

"If you test positive on the drug test again, I'm gonna fuck you up, Robin."

The baseball game went even better. Batman hit two home runs, and Superman hit the ball so hard it knocked the moon out of orbit and he had to put it back in place to save the earth. Hooray!

"It's Rabbit, my arch nemesis!"

By the skiing event, our heroes shared the lead with some teenagers from downtown. Superman almost spoiled the trio's chances when he tried to run over a rabbit who had forgotten to grow his winter fur, but when it mattered the most he focused and crossed the finish line first. While performing a somersault, no less!

Thumbs up!

Triumphant, our heroes could collect the grand prize: a ride on a battleship! "What do you think Freud would say if he saw us now?" Batman asked. "Ha ha, I don't know!" exclaimed Superman, gracefully covering over the fact he wasn't sure who Freud was.

To the hills!

Tired, the three walked homewards. Then suddenly, a skunk crossed the road! "Cripes, I just dry cleaned my cape!" Batman yelled. "Alfred's not gonna be happy about this!"

You know you want to, Batman.

"Let's try to wash off in this pond!" Robin suggested. "Gosh, I don't know," said Batman, "that's against the law! But we are smelly from all the sports and that skunk. What should we do?" Superman pondered this for a while. "Here's what I suggest," he finally said, "maybe we should..."

What did Superman suggest? Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion!

Seriosuly, though, this is the end of the story.

In case you missed them:

CLICK TO CHECK OUT THE JIMMY OLSEN COMIC BOOK COVERS!

or

CLICK TO CHECK OUT THE LOIS LANE COMIC BOOK COVERS!


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