While these
Gummy Body Parts look a lot like the
Gruesome Chew-somes from last year, they have one striking
difference: these actually taste good. All the good sweet flavor
you'd expect from a gummy treat can be found in these suckers. The shapes
are nicely done too, my favorite of which would have to be the severed
finger. I do like how the two vampire fangs are blood red though too, definitely a
nice touch. Considering these things only cost 2-3 bucks a bag, it's
definitely a worthy addition to your candy bowl this Halloween. And even
if you don't want to eat 'em, they also make for a good Halloween
decoration when placed on a plate with some karo syrup and red dye.
out of 5 bloody chainsaws
Bug
Factor Lollipop!
If they
hadn't put the "100% candy" label on the front of it, this Bug Factor
lollipop could easily fool people into thinking there was a real insect in
it. While it is just made of sugar, and you can't even taste it when you
to get to the center of the pop, it looks extremely realistic. Also,
instead of the typical paper/cardboard sticks, it has a green plastic
handle with the Bug Factor logo on it. While this might not seem like a big deal, it's little
things like these that can really make some candies have a better overall
look. I always like it when companies take the time to modify even the
smallest little things like this. The lollipop itself is alright, nothing
to write home about really, but that seems to be a common thing with a lot
of novelty Halloween candies. Many of them are more or less works of art rather
than things you'd want to eat all the time.
out of 5 Mothras
Light-Up
Candy Necklaces!
I never
understood the appeal of light-up candy necklaces, Halloween-themed or
otherwise. The idea is you put these suckers in your mouth as they flash
and it's fun for all to see and hahahahaha good times, right? No, wrong.
Who the hell wants to wear some sticky candy as a necklace. That shit is
surely going to stain your shirt, and even if it doesn't, do you really
want to put it back in your mouth after it's collected up a nice
portion of lint? Your only real option here is to finish the thing in one
sitting and then use it as a necklace. But then it would just be a flashing light
on a necklace and I'm pretty sure only candy ravers (no pun intended)
would be interested in that kind of fashion. The candies themselves are
ok, but I still prefer the flavor of those classic fat-assed Ring-Pop
jewels. I'm also not sure what these are supposed to look like. The illustrations of the various
spooky characters on the package are so absurdly small that it's hard to tell. I'm
fairly certain this one is supposed to be a scary cat, but I think it came
out looking
more like Winnie the Poo. I don't want to eat Poo this Halloween. I also noticed that the light shows up a lot
better on the red one, I guess it's just more translucent. The one good
thing about these candy necklaces is that they were only a buck a piece,
so at least they're not trying to rip people off with 'em. Still, I could get two
Ring-Pops for that price, and frankly, that's far more appealing to me
than just having one flashing lint-covered pieces of Winnie the Poo-shaped candy.
out of 5
tombstones
Eyeball
Ring!
Found this
one in one of those little bins of cheap miscellaneous Halloween trinkets
like spider rings, rubber snakes and what have you. It looked like a tasty
enough eyeball so I paid the 25 cents to give it a shot. Imagine my
disappointment when all of the colors of the eyeball vanished after just
one lick. Well, I guess it's one of those things that proves the ol' "you
get what you pay for" adage true. Anyway, it's just your typical
jawbreaker; nothing really interesting and certainly nowhere remotely as
cool as those eyeball rings that they wore in
The Beastmaster. Somebody needs to make eyeball candy rings like
those ones where the eyelids actually open and close to reveal the candy
inside. I'd buy 'em in a heartbeat!
out of 5
pumpkin candles
Mellowcreme Pumpkins!
I ate all
of my Mellowcreme Pumpkins before I could photograph them.
I'm such a failure. :(
out of 5 zombie hands
Tremors
Subterranean Sour Sand Worm!
Any candy
based on a horror movie, instantly scores a few points with me, but this
one was really unexpected. I mean, Tremors!? You'd think
they would've gone with a much more popular horror movie icon like Freddy
or Jason, but I for
one love that they went with the sand worms from Tremors. Even if it's not
an officially licensed product based on the movie, it's quite obvious
where they drew their inspiration for the candy from. The only way they
could've made it more blatantly obvious would be to mention the
Graboids somewhere on the label. And maybe Victor Wong too, may he
R.I.P. :(
The candy
itself is packed in a test-tube container and comes in several varieties
where the dirt is colored differently. I chose the blue dirt of course, and
if real dirt was actually blue, I won't deny that I'd probably try tasting
it at some point in my life. Inside the tube you'll find loads of sour
sugar and one gummy worm in the middle of it all. As the label states,
you're job is to "Find the worm, lick it and dip it."
Honestly though, you'll need a bowl for this, because it's just not gonna
happen with the test tube. The sour sugar is so tightly packed together in
the tube that it took me a good 5 minutes just to empty the whole thing.
But believe me when I say that it's worth the effort because, while it may
not look good, it's truly tasty as hell. If you're a fan of Sour Punch
Straws then the Tremors Subterranean Sour Sand Worm will not
disappoint. It's just like the straws, only with far more sour sugary
goodness to
enjoy and you get to pretend you're chewing on a stinky Graboid. Fun!
out of 5 Phantasm Sentinel Spheres
Kreepy
Klik Candy Dispensers!
While
they're obviously mimicking Pez candy dispensers, I gotta say I like these
Kreepy Klik ones much more. First off, the entire dispenser is made to
look like a monster body, not just the head. The heads also have moving
eyes and brains that "klik" back and forth whenever you dispense another
candy to yourself. They also come with two different kinds of
candies - Smarties and Au'some Bubble Gum Candy (finally,
somebody breaks the curse of candies coming in "threes" this year). I'm
pretty sure everybody has tried Smarties before, and sorry, but I'd take them
over Pez any day. The Au'some Bubble Gum Candy is a bit more obscure, so in case
you haven't had it before, it's just like Razzles: starts off as a candy
then becomes bubblegum. Only difference is that these ones are the size of
Smarties. Good stuff. All in all, a really solid alternative to the Pez dispensers
that we see regurgitated every year. I have nothing against Pez, believe
me, I just think these Kreepy Kliks look much better and have tastier
candies included.
out of 5 Freddy gloves
Gummy
Zone Gummy Skeleton!
Just as I'm
a sucker for novelty items, I'm also a sucker for all things skeletal.
Skulls, bones, skeletons, pictures of skeletons eating the meat right off
of peoples bones... if it involves the skeletal system in some way, I'm
all about it. The same can be said for this Gummy Skeleton. I love the
fact that you can eat all of its parts separately, and the package itself
is pretty nice looking, but come on. COME ON! Was it really too much
effort to put an additional piece of plastic on top of the skeleton inside
the package (like most loose candies of this nature tend to do) so that
the bones wouldn't scatter all over the place before people opened it? Cheap
bastards...
out of 5 Edgar
Allen Poes.
Orange
Colored Halloween Kit Kats!
Just like
last year, Kit Kat returns with their delicious orange Kit Kats.
The orange is just for aesthetic purposes as it's really white chocolate,
with chocolate creme in the center. As tasty as these Kit Kats always are,
I wish they'd do something a little different with the packaging. This is
the same exact package that they had last year. Come on Kit Kat, throw in
a graveyard or something for us. Who am I kidding though. I'd still buy
these things if they only came packaged with Kenny G albums, and instead
of a foil wrapper, they were sealed in long strands of his curly hair.
They're just that tasty.
out of 5
Gremlins.
Slime
Heads!
Considering
the holiday, you'd think there would be a lot more candies out there
involving slime of some sort. Well these Slime Heads will surely cover all
of your gooey grocery needs. The stuff is fairly good too, especially if
you're into orange flavored goop. Of course, they might have other flavors
too, but they only had these orange flavored pumpkin head ones in the
Halloween store I found 'em in. The main portion of the face comes off in one lick, but the green leaf design near the top stayed on much longer
for some reason. I don't know if that's a good thing or if I should be
worried. Eh, who am I kidding? When you're eating something with
instructions that require you to work the ribbed shaft and then "suck
the candy head" you're pretty much throwing caution into the wind
anyway.
out of 5 floating eyeballs
Hubba
Bubba Mummy Tape!
I don't know
why, but until today, I hadn't bought Bubble Tape gum in years. This
is clearly something I need to correct because I forgot just how damned
good it tastes. For Halloween they've renamed it as "Mummy Tape" and given
it a black raspberry flavor which is, as expected, mouth-wateringly good. Gotta love the mummified mascot on the package too, but it got me to
thinking about how they could've improved it. I've always loved it when
candy companies introduce a "mystery flavor" - and mystery
flavors are almost always
colored white (just like with Air Heads and Charms Blow Pops). Well
wouldn't a pack of Mummy Tape with white-colored gum be just
perfect? You could still keep it black raspberry flavor, but now it
would actually look like real mummy wrapping cloths too! If you happen
to know somebody in Hubba Bubba's marketing & development department, tell
them to do this next year and I swear to the Great Pumpkin that they'll
have one of the absolute coolest Halloween candies on the market!
out of 5
pumpkin candles
