Features

M.U.S.C.L.E. Revisited!
by: -RoG-

M.U.S.C.L.E. - Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere.
Figures: [1-25] [26-50] [51-75] [76-100] [101-125]
[126-150] [151-175] [176-200] [201-233]
[Mr. Blocky Tribute]

Figures 51 - 75

Name: Spike
Number: 51
Description: For some unknown reason, Spike thinks he's a badass. Even when he gets beaten into a bloody pulp and needs a machine to help him breathe, he still thinks he's a badass. Stupid Spike... stupid.
Name: Trap-Jaw
Number: 52
Description: An average wrestler with one little difference: he's got a huge set o' chompers! They can bite through just about anything, including the juicy pink flesh of his opponents! Mmm juicy!
Name: Smashor
Number: 53
Description: SMASHOR SMASH YOU! SMASHOR HAVE SMASHING HANDS! SMASHOR WILL SMASH YOUR FACE SO IT LOOKS ALL SMASHY SMASHED! FEAR SMASHOR! SMASHOR WILL SMASH!!!!!
Name: Klu Klux Klank
Number: 54
Description: Perhaps no single M.U.S.CL.E. figure has taken more beatings than the overweight, racist redneck himself... Klu Klux Klank. He often has to change his sheet, due to constantly wetting himself.
Name: Mr. Ordinary
Number: 55
Description: Mr. Ordinary doesn't do anything special. He doesn't have any secret moves. He doesn't have any super weapons. He doesn't even make good barbecue chicken. He's very ordinary.
Name: Krangala
Number: 56
Description: Krangala can breathe under water. This might be useful if a single M.U.S.C.L.E. match took place under water. The only other thing Krangala does well is cross-dress. Yay Krangala!
Name: Numba Fiftee Seben
Number: 57
Description: Ok guys, we get the picture. You really wanted to drive home the point that MuscleMan (#1) was an important figure. You still didn't have to make so many damned clones of him. 
Name: Thor
Number: 58
Description: Thor probably should have been the leader of the Thug Busters instead of Terri-Bull (#2). I mean, at least Thor doesn't have a broken horn on his head. Well that and he's got a better name.
Name: Louie Galfunko
Number: 59
Description: Louie Galfunko was always the life of the party. If everybody was feeling down, you could count on Louie to blurt out a great one-liner that would have everyone laughing for hours. I'm sorry to report that Louie wasn't nearly as successful in the ring.
Name: Baby Spiff
Number: 60
Description: BABY SPIFF ROCKS! Look at him for crissakes! He's got a huge noggin on top o' that lil' body of his! Baby Spiff is out to conquer the world, and by the looks of things, he just might do it!
Name: Repeat
Number: 61
Description: Didn't I just talk about this guy? Notice the resemblance of him and #57? I hate it when they try to pull a fast one on us like this. We see through your tricks!!!! We wont' give you our money for cheap, duplicated figures!!
Name: Shrunken Sheik
Number: 62
Description: The name says it all. He was a sheik alright, but he was too small and frail to do any damage. Try packing on a few pounds pal, then maybe you can come fight with da' big boys!
Name: Ripped Ralph
Number: 63
Description: Ralph is really ripped. Muscles bursting from every single spot on his body. Even his colon is stronger than your biceps. He still gets his ass beat regularly because he's too busy looking at his muscles in the mirror instead of concentrating on the fight.
Name: Mr. Blocky - Happy Again
Number: 64
Description: Whew, it looks like Mr. Blocky is happy again! We all saw how sad he was as figure #39, but perhaps it was because he lost weight. Now he's back up to his normal weight and he's happy!
Name: Studly Dudley
Number: 65
Description: Never before has a M.U.S.C.L.E. fighter with such a chiseled look entered the ring. He might not look like much of a fighter, but if you scratch his perfect face, he'll go berserk on yo ass!
Name: Men's Warehouse Sales Representative Jack
Number: 66
Description: He'll take your measurements and put you in a suit that fits you perfectly. His motto: "You're gonna like how you look, I guarantee it!" Why he prefers to help people find the perfect suit rather than fight in the ring is beyond me.
Name: Bill Wachowski
Number: 67
Description: Yet again, we are graced with a generic figure that has nothing to offer us. When he's not getting beat in the ring, Bill Wachowski enjoys stamp collecting and bird watching.
Name: Emperor Ragnor
Number: 68
Description: Bow down before the mighty Emperor Ragnor! I mean really, how can you not? He looks so damned mighty and majestic in that cape! Bow down before Ragnor and ye shall be saved!
Name: Chet
Number: 69
Description: Chet still wears the number "93" on his chest, the same number which he wore on his old high school football team uniform. But those days have long since passed. All that is left is an empty feeling in his heart as he longs for his glory days. Poor, poor Chet.
Name: Moro - Alternate Pose #1
Number: 70
Description: Moro (#27) returns with a slightly different outfit and some new poses for his arms. Wow. How friggin' exciting. Plbth...
Name: Torch
Number: 71
Description: Well I'll be damned, it's Torch! You remember the Dreadnoks from G.I. Joe right? Well this guy is a dead ringer for Torch! I don't see his oxy-acetylene cutting torch though. Perhaps he's gotten so cocky that he doesn't think he needs it anymore?
Name: The Anteater
Number: 72
Description: Sure, an anteater doesn't sound very threatening, but be warned! He has killed many an enemy by inserting his tongue deep into their ears and sucking out their brains! What a nasty bastard.
Name: Bizzy Grundlewort
Number: 73
Description: Bizzy is a proverbial barrel o' monkeys. He runs around the ring yelling, "I AM BIZZY! HEAR ME GO BIZZZZZZZ!" This angers the fuck out of his opponents, and once they're so distracted by their own anger, that's when Bizzy leaps in for the kill! Go Bizzy Go!
Name: Spray-O
Number: 74
Description: Spray-O considers all of his opponents to be like cockroaches, and he intends to exterminate them all. So, he sprays pesticide in their faces and then mauls them with absolutely no mercy. If you want a badass on your side, Spray-O is your man. 
Name: Pudgy
Number: 75
Description: He's always aspired to become a sumo wrestler, but Pudgy could never pack on enough pounds. Still, he tries to use what weight he does have to his advantage. Keep on eatin' Pudgy!

There's much more M.U.S.C.L.E. madness to see!
[Click to see Figures 76 - 100]

 

Reader Comments

Old Comments

Pickled Patriarch
Apr 18th, 2010, 10:43 PM
Since I still get a lot of email about this old M.U.S.C.L.E. toys tribute article from many years ago, I went ahead and put it into the new site template so you guys can finally comment on it here in public!
lurking on the walls
Apr 18th, 2010, 10:54 PM
I remembered that article RoG, freaking classic, it brought back memories of that old NES game. and the Game Cube Remake based off the FOX cartoon
taco loving zombie
Apr 19th, 2010, 12:03 AM
i used to own some of this but it was during my chewing period and they are all chewed up by now right now i have some of the new series that are colored
Sloth, PhD
Apr 19th, 2010, 03:28 AM
I remember finding a ton of these stuck in the ground at a playground. Must've been 20 or 30 of them that had been left there, then got stuck in the mud after a rain. I spent a good two hours carefully excavating them (I cite this as my first foray and initial interest in archaeology).
Forum Virgin
Apr 19th, 2010, 09:17 AM
After seeing the images I go "hey! I remember those, yo.", but for reasons unknown I remember them as "Geminis", must be some name copyright issue thing for the Netherlands then... oh well, now you know!
aint nobody
Apr 19th, 2010, 08:30 PM
Quote:
one of those disturbed kids that enjoyed torturing your figures by removing their limbs and setting them on fire
boy did I ever have a bad habit of doing that
Clap if you love Dynamo
Apr 19th, 2010, 09:22 PM
Things I wondered/noticed about when it came to M.U.S.C.L.E.

-The vollyball(#99) one fits perfectly into the hand(#153) one, and then you can make the hand one throw the vollyball one

-What's the deal with that hole in the chest of almost every Mr. Blocky? I always imagined it must be like his thermal exhaust port, and if anyone hit it with anything he would self destruct



-The rock guy (#23) fit snugly into the wrestling ring holder. So snugly in fact, that if put in carefully, he could not be defeated, if done carelessly however, you would be having to buy a new wrestling ring (I went through 3 after I discovered this fact)

What I learned from this article:

-Ass plants

-Some M.U.S.C.L.E. things have severe emotional issues.

-Seriously, ass plants
Im one good looking Troll
Nov 30th, 2010, 08:27 PM
Dude I like the series they ran seven year ago.Here is one of the villain,his name is Tyranno-Claw
Forum Virgin
Jan 15th, 2011, 11:17 PM
damn i agree with that
Clap if you love Dynamo
Jan 16th, 2011, 07:38 PM
I bet you are a spambot
Cranberry Everything
Jan 16th, 2011, 11:35 PM
damn i agree with that
Clap if you love Dynamo
Jan 17th, 2011, 07:18 AM
Forum Virgin
Jun 21st, 2014, 11:25 PM
PRICELESS - Genius post. I remember these!!! What about the other small little one piecers- that were dressed in army fatigues, and wore sunglasses... what were those called? Soldiers something?

Thanks, RoG. A++

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