Features

M.U.S.C.L.E. Revisited!
by: -RoG-

Who would have thought that these simple, little figures would have ever become such a huge hit? They didn't have movable parts (well they did if you were one of those disturbed kids that enjoyed torturing your figures by removing their limbs and setting them on fire) and they were PINK. Not exactly something you would imagine would be popular with violent little bastard kids. Still, M.U.S.C.L.E. figures proved to win over the hearts of just about everybody. They were affordable, collectable, and were fun to put on display in huge armies of pink madness. Later, other color variations of the figures were released, including red, purple, and blue, but nothing compared to the original pink versions. NOTHING.

The M.U.S.C.L.E. "Hard Knockin' Rockin' Ring"!
The M.U.S.C.L.E. Hard Knockin' Rockin' Ring!
The absolute best way to hold M.U.S.C.L.E. matches
(until the prongs broke off)

The M.U.S.C.L.E. figures were based on Kinnikuman from Japan and there's a fairly large fanbase for these guys all over the world. You can still get them on eBay, and many people are pushing for them to be re-released... as they should be! They're obviously cheap enough to make and there's a great demand for them. Some fans even go to such extremes as painting their M.U.S.C.L.E. figures to give them a custom look. I like the figures a lot 'n all, but I just don't have the desire to give 'em a makeover so that they end up looking like the members of GWAR. Leave 'em pink!

One thing always bugged me about the M.U.S.C.L.E. figures though... except for MuscleMan and Terri-Bull, the rest of the figures were never really given any names. Well damnit, I've decided it's high time these lil' pink guys get some names! And thanks to my old M.U.S.C.L.E. poster that displays all 233 of these original pink warriors, I can now share with you my names for each figure along with descriptions of them. So enjoy this trip down M.U.S.C.L.E. memory lane, for after several months, the list is finally complete! And now, let us begin by giving these pink guys the identities they deserve!

M.U.S.C.L.E. - Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere.
Figures: [1-25] [26-50] [51-75] [76-100] [101-125]
[126-150] [151-175] [176-200] [201-233]
[Mr. Blocky Tribute]

Name: MuscleMan
Number: 1
Description: This is the main guy that we all remember. He was the leader of the "Thug Busters". You were required by law to own this figure if you wanted to consider yourself a real M.U.S.C.L.E. fanatic.
Name: Terri-Bull
Number: 2
Description: Terri-Bull was the leader of the "Cosmic Crunchers", but I'm not quite sure how he got the job. I mean, he can't even afford to replace the broken horn on his head? For a leader, that's pretty sad.
Name: Mr. Blocky
Number: 3
Description: There were many variations of this guy. He was easily one of the more popular characters. But is it me or is he just a little too happy? He's waving to us with glee and his blocky penis is sticking right out. In this case, I believe his happy demeanor is just a ploy to draw an enemy in close. Once the enemy is close enough, he would feed that enemy directly into the the rollers on his chest. The enemy would then be crushed, just like the big guy in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom who got his turban caught in the rock crusher rollers.
Name: Clamp-O-Johnson
Number: 4
Description: Part Lobster. Part Alien. All Loser. Clamp-O-Johnson always got his ass kicked, and I hate him for that.
Name: Mr. Planet
Number: 5
Description: If he's really made up of planets, they must be some pretty friggin' small ones. Looks more like he's suffering from the "Popeye Syndrome", with the big bulges in his arms and legs.
Name: El Seed
Number: 6
Description: I know he's supposed to be a lizard, but I can't help but be reminded of El Seed from "The Tick" when I see this guy. He kicked a lot of M.U.S.C.L.E. ass in the name of plants!
Name: Mr. Peanut's Son
Number: 7
Description: A long time ago, Mr. Peanut had a son and then gave him up for adoption. His son later on went to become one of the most fucked up M.U.S.C.L.E. characters ever. He is determined to prove to his father that he is a good little peanut, by kicking M.U.S.C.L.E. ass.
Name: Ed
Number: 8
Description: There was nothing particularly interesting about this guy. He was just one of those "filler" figures that they made when they were out of ideas. If you were trading M.U.S.C.L.E. figures with someone and you wanted to make the deal seem better, chances are you'd throw in a few figures like this. That way, it was no loss to you, and the other guy would think he's getting a great deal because you gave him a few extra figures like this one. Hahah, what a sucker.
Name: Mr. Deflated Planet
Number: 9
Description: This guy reminds me of Mr. Planet (#5), only the air in his planets seems to have escaped. So he doesn't look nearly as tough as the original Mr. Planet.
Name: Construction Worker Guy
Number: 10
Description: Another pointless character. If he had a tool belt and a vest, he might be able to pass as one of the members of the Village People though. YMCA baby!
Name: Frog-Tongue-Head Jack
Number: 11
Description: I always liked this guy. Looks like he's got frog tongues sticking out of his head. And as you all know, any guy that has sticky frog tongues protruding from his head MEANS BUSINESS!
Name: Pimpbot 5000
Number: 12
Description: If you've ever seen Late Night with Conan O'Brien, chances are you've seen Pimpbot in action. As if his switchblade wasn't threatening enough, now he's got claws too!
Name: Mum-Ra
Number: 13
Description: Straight from the pyramids, this guy would confuse his opponents by doing the "Walk Like An Egyptian" dance and then move in for the kill. Definitely a formidable fighter.
Name: Mega Man
Number: 14
Description: First he kicked Dr. Willy's ass in the NES Mega Man games. Now, he's come to the world of M.U.S.C.L.E. to continue his megarific ways.
Name: Mr. Blocky - Tron Sentinel version.
Number: 15
Description: This is probably the most famous version of the Mr. Blocky character. I think everybody I knew had about 5 of these guys. He has taken on the form of those flying sentinels from the movie TRON. But he added a little bit of his own flair to it by putting a happy sun image right under his face. Mr. Blocky is so happy.
Name: Hacksaw Jim Dougan
Number: 16
Description: Just give this guy a 4x4 and a beer gut and he'd be a perfect match for the old patriotic wrestler, Hacksaw Jim Dougan, of the WWF. "Hooooooo!"
Name: MuscleMan In-Training
Number: 17
Description: This guy is basically a smaller version of MuscleMan (#1), but he's obviously still in training as you can see by the size of his cape. It's tiny! Only when you become a master do you get the full-length cape.
Name: Galaxo
Number: 18
Description: Here's your basic, run-of-the-mill alien fighter. Kinda reminds me of the Protoss from Starcraft, but somehow I don't think he'd put up quite as much of a fight as they would. Being pink 'n all...
Name: Mix-n-Match
Number: 19
Description: They just threw a bunch of shit together for this guy. Most likely the result of one of those nights where the M.U.S.C.L.E. figure design team just couldn't put down the crack pipe.
Name: Spud
Number: 20
Description: Another character that is like MuscleMan (#1), only this is the midget-version of him. This bulky lil' fella was a tough guy to beat in the M.U.S.C.L.E. ring though. I remember him fitting perfectly into the prongs and being extremely hard to knock out of them. Also has a strong resemblance to "Ram-Man" from the He-Man cartoon.
Name: Warlord Wally
Number: 21
Description: Wally likes war. He doesn't really care who he's fighting... other wrestlers, small children, lasagna... it doesn't matter to Warlord Wally. As far as he's concerned, it's Wally vs. The World!
Name: Vick Da' Vice
Number: 22
Description: Vick is a wrestling perfectionist. In fact, he puts so much pressure on himself that he figured if he attached a vice grip to his head, it would make him that much more impervious to pain.
Name: Rocko
Number: 23
Description: Sure he's a little guy, but he's got a heart made out of stone. Er, actually, his entire body is made of stone. He can take punches from some of the toughest wrestlers and keep on fightin! Go on Rocko! Go on with your bad self!
Name: Cubix
Number: 24
Description: Rumored to be related to Mr. Blocky (#3), Cubix is made up of... that's right, CUBES! He's a walking, talking, Rubick's Cube. Only you don't have to worry about matching up the right colors on each side of him. Since he's completely pink, all of the sides match perfectly. 
Name: Hula-Dancer Bill
Number: 25
Description: He's got another one of those generic M.U.S.C.L.E. bodies, but with a grass miniskirt and one hell of a dandy mustache, Hula-Dancer Bill stands out from the other generic wrestlers!

There's much more M.U.S.C.L.E. madness to see!
[Click here to see Figures 26 - 50]

 

Reader Comments

Pickled Patriarch
Apr 18th, 2010, 09:43 PM
Since I still get a lot of email about this old M.U.S.C.L.E. toys tribute article from many years ago, I went ahead and put it into the new site template so you guys can finally comment on it here in public!
lurking on the walls
Apr 18th, 2010, 09:54 PM
I remembered that article RoG, freaking classic, it brought back memories of that old NES game. and the Game Cube Remake based off the FOX cartoon
taco loving zombie
Apr 18th, 2010, 11:03 PM
i used to own some of this but it was during my chewing period and they are all chewed up by now right now i have some of the new series that are colored
Sloth, PhD
Apr 19th, 2010, 02:28 AM
I remember finding a ton of these stuck in the ground at a playground. Must've been 20 or 30 of them that had been left there, then got stuck in the mud after a rain. I spent a good two hours carefully excavating them (I cite this as my first foray and initial interest in archaeology).
Forum Virgin
Apr 19th, 2010, 08:17 AM
After seeing the images I go "hey! I remember those, yo.", but for reasons unknown I remember them as "Geminis", must be some name copyright issue thing for the Netherlands then... oh well, now you know!
aint nobody
Apr 19th, 2010, 07:30 PM
Quote:
one of those disturbed kids that enjoyed torturing your figures by removing their limbs and setting them on fire
boy did I ever have a bad habit of doing that
Clap if you love Dynamo
Apr 19th, 2010, 08:22 PM
Things I wondered/noticed about when it came to M.U.S.C.L.E.

-The vollyball(#99) one fits perfectly into the hand(#153) one, and then you can make the hand one throw the vollyball one

-What's the deal with that hole in the chest of almost every Mr. Blocky? I always imagined it must be like his thermal exhaust port, and if anyone hit it with anything he would self destruct



-The rock guy (#23) fit snugly into the wrestling ring holder. So snugly in fact, that if put in carefully, he could not be defeated, if done carelessly however, you would be having to buy a new wrestling ring (I went through 3 after I discovered this fact)

What I learned from this article:

-Ass plants

-Some M.U.S.C.L.E. things have severe emotional issues.

-Seriously, ass plants
Im one good looking Troll
Nov 30th, 2010, 07:27 PM
Dude I like the series they ran seven year ago.Here is one of the villain,his name is Tyranno-Claw
Forum Virgin
Jan 15th, 2011, 10:17 PM
damn i agree with that
Clap if you love Dynamo
Jan 16th, 2011, 06:38 PM
I bet you are a spambot
Still cold
Jan 16th, 2011, 10:35 PM
damn i agree with that
Clap if you love Dynamo
Jan 17th, 2011, 06:18 AM
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