I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Kitsa]

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/emopagebrak.jpg



I was never much for MadTV in general. Most of the sketches went on way longer than they should have (not that SNL doesn't have the same problem).

[RaNkeri]

my throat is sore, but when I swallow I feel pain in my ears instead of feeling it in my throat.

And the voices in my head have become a bit more aggressive too

[Tadao]

Oh no, more death metal from Finland :rolleyes

I haven't watched SNL for like 8 years.

[RaNkeri]

Pablo Francisco is coming to Finland again, but I'm pretty sure that the tickets will be over priced :/

He's good, but not 30+ € good

[Tadao]

What is that equal to? 5 clams and a rock?

[Kitsa]

your ears and throat are all one, Rankeri.


ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmm..............

[RaNkeri]

What is that equal to? 5 clams and a rock?


Shut your mouth, last time I checked € was date raping $



Bitchin'

[Fathom Zero]

hahaha

You remind me of a Polish guy I once knew, and I try to imagine everything you say in that voice.

[Grislygus]

It's true, €30 can get you a genuine member of the Swedish Bikini team to put the wig back on and dance for you dressed in nothing but a small towel

[Fathom Zero]

Ahhhh, la vida!

[Grislygus]

I swear, using American dollars is the monetary equivalent of having a tiny dick right now, soon we're going to turn into Japan in both areas

[Tadao]

It's true, €30 can get you a genuine member of the Swedish Bikini team to put the wig back on and dance for you dressed in nothing but a small towel

:lol

[Tadao]

I've been enjoying History channels doomsday week. Without America the world would starve. :rolleyes

[Kitsa]

I think the History Channel Doomsday week is a load of bullshit. I kind of lost respect for them a little bit, pandering to the mass-panic crap.

[Grislygus]

The world starves with America in the picture, too, let the poor-ass little African scumfucks get what's comin to em, we need to spoil our genetic debris with Big Macs and more Walmart shopping locations

[Tadao]

I'm a fan of 2012 though. But yeah they haven't really been the same since Discovery Channel came along.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I'm in debt again but at least now I have a bed. I moved into my new place 18 months ago and couldn't fit the box spring through the upstairs hallway. Mattress on the floor with a crippy back is no good at all. Can't wait until tuesday.

[Kitsa]

Let's not forget that the world ends for hundreds of thousands of people every single day.

[Grislygus]

I've known about all of those little history factoids for three years, and yet all of a sudden dullards twice my age are popping off about this shit all over the place, cause they watched one history channel bit

I had to read fucking books and befriend a mythology professor to load up on that useless information, issa fucking jip

[Tadao]

Shut it 10k, you have 3 ho's to keep you warm.

All this Obama stuff does give way to Revelations. I love it. I think 2012 will scare the shit out of most Americans. It's awesome how it's so close to Jesus's supposed birthday.

[RaNkeri]

I've been enjoying History channels doomsday week. Without America the world would starve. :rolleyes


Reasonable, noting how in these wishy-washy recent wars you run in, stomp all over a developing nation and run out again declaring victory around the time the population have to start eating their own dead

:rolleyes

[Tadao]

And how we rape your women in order to provide you more food.

[Tadao]

I'm not so much un-american as I am disappointed by the whole human race. I'm sure the human race feels the same about me.

[Tadao]

NVM too traceable :eek

[kahljorn]

at work today this cunt straight up told me to ring her gay turkey sandwich up as a ham sandwich. she was all, "isnt that sandwich five dollars" "is that a turkey sandwich" "yes" "ok it's six dollars" "you didn't tell me it was five dollars" ok well it's six dollars and she was all "But the sign says five dollar footlongs and you didn't say it wasn't five dollars" and I said "well the sign says which sandwiches are five dollars for a foot long" and she walked over to the sign and walked back and said, "Ring it up for a ham sandwich" and i was all, "What? but it was a turkey" "ring it up as a ham" "why you ordered a turkey" "just do it as a ham you didn't tell me about it aren't you supposed to please the customer" "no and i dont see what that has to do with you ordering a turkey sandwich and not a ham" "you should've told me it was five dollars!" "You should have read the sign appropriately" "who's your manager?" ....

[Tadao]

Lol, I hate people. You should have thrown it in the trash and asked her what she wants to buy.

[Pub Lover]

I'd have asked if she wanted me to make her a Ham on instead. I'd also ask her out on a date.



Haha, I'm kidding, I wouldn't get a job like that.

[kahljorn]

I said, "Do you still want these sandwiches" then she thought about it with MISCHIEF IN HER EYES and said, "No" and I said "Ok bye" some customers laughed after that heh
lol some of the customers were all scared of me like i put pickles on the wrong side and they were all "you put that on the wrong side OH BUT ITS OKAY DONT WORRY ABOUT IT ITS NOT A BIG DEAL" but afterwords they made fun of her too ;p
its too bad for her cause i usually hook stuff up if people are nice but she had to DEMAND that i ring it up as a ham sandwich.

[kahljorn]

pub lover im just glad I get to serve justice

[Tadao]

You'd be amazed at what people try to do at a bakery. Like stick their finger in a pie and say that it was poked and can I have it for half off. I was the manager, so I was able to throw it away if front of them and say no. I'd have to toss it anyways.

[kahljorn]

nothing brings me more pleasure in life than being an asshole to assholes :(
but it is a dangerous sport

[RaNkeri]

at work today this cunt straight up told me to ring her gay turkey sandwich up as a ham sandwich. she was all, "isnt that sandwich five dollars" "is that a turkey sandwich" "yes" "ok it's six dollars" "you didn't tell me it was five dollars" ok well it's six dollars and she was all "But the sign says five dollar footlongs and you didn't say it wasn't five dollars" and I said "well the sign says which sandwiches are five dollars for a foot long" and she walked over to the sign and walked back and said, "Ring it up for a ham sandwich" and i was all, "What? but it was a turkey" "ring it up as a ham" "why you ordered a turkey" "just do it as a ham you didn't tell me about it aren't you supposed to please the customer" "no and i dont see what that has to do with you ordering a turkey sandwich and not a ham" "you should've told me it was five dollars!" "You should have read the sign appropriately" "who's your manager?"

I said, "Do you still want these sandwiches" then she thought about it with MISCHIEF IN HER EYES and said, "No" and I said "Ok bye" some customers laughed after that heh
lol some of the customers were all scared of me like i put pickles on the wrong side and they were all "you put that on the wrong side OH BUT ITS OKAY DONT WORRY ABOUT IT ITS NOT A BIG DEAL" but afterwords they made fun of her too ;p
its too bad for her cause i usually hook stuff up if people are nice but she had to DEMAND that i ring it up as a ham sandwich.

Holy shit Kahljorn, I can relate to that

[executioneer]

http://images1.hdpi.com/product_enlarged/Rosle_CheeseKnife_12724.jpg

i just bought this knife because it looked awesome but apparently it's a fancey schmancy cheese knife that's normally like 35-40 bucks and i got it for $10 :o

[RaNkeri]

I'm making spaghetti with meatballs, you'll hear the results in 30 mins :eek

[RaNkeri]

Shit! I'm all out of parmesan :x

[RaNkeri]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/pullat.jpg

[Fathom Zero]

what the fuck is that?

[Kitsa]

I used to work in a strip mall that had the best chinese restaurant ever. I ate there every day and did all sorts of favors for them when they came to my store. They never gave me a discount ever. They even made sure I knew they were gonna charge me an extra 75 cents to have cashews mixed in with my fried rice, lol.

[Esuohlim]

Dude Rankeri, gross :x

[WhiteRat]

what the fuck is that?

That had to have come straight out of his ass.

[RaNkeri]

Well, it sure as hell doesn't look the same as in the cook book but it was delicious >:

[Tadao]

Looks like penis chunks on noodles. What sauce did you use, cause it doesn't look like tomato.

[RaNkeri]

The sauce consists of tomatoes and a chopped red onion. I used white bread when making the meatballs and cooked the meatballs in the sauce which may have caused the rather weird looking color

[Shrubfest]

And it's got parmesan on, right?

[Tadao]

It only looks like melted parmesan is on it. :x

[Shrubfest]

Just its probly the parmesan that makes it look icky.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

That looks delicious.

Also, I'm down to zero ladies to keep me warm.

[kahljorn]

Holy shit Kahljorn, I can relate to that

yea probably anybody who has worked retail can relate to customers thinking they should get whatever they want.
I don't get what's with customers. I mean, people post prices for a reason. And signs? Those usually have words explaining deals. It's like they intentionally ignore them and expect their ignorance to pay for their sandwich. I just don't understand who raised these fucking idiots.

[Tadao]

And never ever complain about service when you plan on putting their food in your mouth.

[MattJack]

what a dumb bitc*

[kahljorn]

yea well i dont spit in food or anything so they don't have to worry about that ;/

[kahljorn]

THEY JUST HAZ TO WORRY ABOUT MY BAD ATTITUDE

[MattJack]

FU*K WITH THE BULL AND YOU GET THE HORNS RIGHT?

[kahljorn]

And the customer is always ... AN ASSHOLE!

[Sam]

YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID, "YOU IGNORANT FUCKS YOU THOUGHT THIS SANDWICH WAS FIVE DOLLARS?"

[Sam]

THEN THREW IT AT HER, "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY STORE IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN I'LL FUCKING U-GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT OF YOUR FUCKING SKULL AND FILL IT WITH BANANA PEPPERS AND PICKLES."

[kahljorn]

:lol
I almost said something like that but instead I said, "You should have read the sign appropriately." ;/

[RaNkeri]

Is it just me, or are all the troublesome customers women? :x

[Aaarg]

Lots of men are asshole bastards also.

Speaking of signs, there's one man who complains every time that "the tag says so-and-so" on his single bottles of beer and I get so sick of hearing him say it every time I ring him up so now any time I see him I ask "what did the sign say" and manually enter the price instead of scanning the shit. Go away.

[Kitsa]

The worst ones I ever encountered were the bitches getting their hair done next door and told the kids to play at my place till they were done.

Then I had to worry about babysitting their damn kids because I was alone and couldn't leave the store.

[RaNkeri]

Little kids can be annoying too. Last summer I caught 2 russian kids snatching peas while one was trying to distract me. I solved the situation by using the little russian I had learned from war movies and comics, yelling "Rukiveer, perkele!" and pointing at them. The kids pretty much shat their pants and ran away. Feeling victorious, I lolled hard for a moment, before noticing how there had been a finnish couple with a young kid observing the situation the whole time, and I felt bad for giving the kiddo a bad example.

[Tadao]

I'm surprised that I'm still allowed to create threads at all.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

:pagebrak



Debating wheter to go out tonight or stay in.

[Pub Lover]

Talk any more smack about Malcolm MacDowell and I'll break you, son.

We should rub our boners for Malcolm MacDowell together some time. :love

[Aaarg]

i had a dream about you fucks. you all apparently lived in some house down the road from me, and i stopped by as i was walking to work barefoot. you were all very welcoming, and dirty. a bunch of you were playing skip-bo (it's one of those card games like uno) and eating applesauce. also, there was like 5 black people and tadao wasn't there because he was out delivering mail.

then some girl with big teeth gave me a ride to work.

[Kitsa]

We should rub our boners for Malcolm MacDowell together some time. :love


Include me in that group- I love Malcolm McDowell hardcore. Caligula is one of my favorite movies. Hell, I even watched that godawful star trek movie just to see him.

And Time after Time, amirite?

[Aaarg]

IN GOOD COMPANY

[Tadao]

I'm the one with a job? In your dreams!

[Sam]

TANK GIRL

[Fathom Zero]

LORI PETTY :3

[RaNkeri]

MAX ZANDER :rock

[Esuohlim]

ERNEST BORGNINE

[Kitsa]

HIS SECRET TO LONGEVITY IS HE MASTURBATES A LOT (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I_PeLNzxNQ)

[RaNkeri]

MAX ZANDER IST DER CLOWN

[Kitsa]

man

If I had a dollar for every person who scrolls past my description of food art ingredients to ask me what it's made of

well

I'd be very rich indeed.

[RaNkeri]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/NessuAnim.gif

[Kitsa]

I just gave my dog a haircut and she looks like Barbra Streisand :(

[RaNkeri]

MAX ZANDER IST...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/maxzander.jpg

DER CLOWN

>:

[Fathom Zero]

http://img88.imageshack.us/img88/9202/hohaen8.jpg

[RaNkeri]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v202/RaNkeri/derclown.jpg

[Tadao]

Clowns suck

[RaNkeri]

Max Zander doesn't >:

[RaNkeri]

What's wrong bitch? Cat got your tounge?

[Tadao]

I miss my cats :( YOU DICK!

Never heard of Max Zander, so I'll have to take your word as value.

[Tadao]

Shower farts make an awesomely horrifying noise.

[Pub Lover]

I'm gonna post all my thrift store electronics. I just need to finish this bottle of vodka first.
Perfect opportunity to post yer dick?

[Tadao]

You know who has a pic of that already? Not you! :P

[Kitsa]

Somehow I don't see Tadao holding back from showing anyone his dick.

[Tadao]

Only because I know it drives Pub crazy to know someone has it, and he can't get it.

[Pub Lover]

Everyone here has seen my dick.


Sometimes I regret this?

[Tadao]

I haven't :(

[Battle Net Edition]

I haven't :o

[Fathom Zero]

The vessel with the pestle holds the pellet of the poison and the chalice from the palace holds the brew which is true.

[Battle Net Edition]

This is messing me up a bit: there's a lick in Night Lies that sounds just like the ringtone on my phone. Everytime it plays I freak out and turn to look at my phone. I don't know how to alleviate this.

[kahljorn]

Last night i saw the most hilarious thing! This guy was kind of making fun of my brother-in-law at a party and i guess it had been going on before that and also he was sort of making fun of his girlfriend (in an off-handed not really intentionally MAYBE kind of way) and my brother in law told him to stop and he wouldn't

SO MY BROTHERINLAW HELD UP A PIECE OF NEWSPAPER IN FRONT OF HIS FACE AND PUNCHED HIM THROUGH THE NEWSPAPER and then crumpled the newspaper all up in his face
LOL
I couldn't stop laughing. I feel bad for the other guy though kind of ;o

and my wife and i were just talking about how in old movies sometimes they would hold up their hats in front of people's faces and punch the bottoms of their hat out

[MetalMilitia]

So wait - what was the point of the paper?

[Sam]

SO HE DIDN'T SEE IT COMING!

IT'S CALLED THE "SUCKER PUNCH" :rolleyes

[kahljorn]

THE POINT OF THE PAPER WAS THAT WHAT SAM SAID AND ALSO THAT IT WAS HILARIOUS.

EVEN I DIDNT SUSPECT IT, I JUSAT THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA SHOW HIM T HE FUNNIES THEN BLAM FLYING NEWSPAPER PUNCH

[kahljorn]

And god damn trying to find anything online about xbox problems and xbox news is ridiculous! i was trying to find some updates about nxe causing freezing and like everything i read is a bunch of people saying THERES NOT A PROBLEM AT ALL ITS ALL SONY FANBOYS TRYING TO MAKE FUN OF THE XBOX.

and one idiot actually said, "according to my calculations only 4% of 23 million consoles are having problems with this update. That's not really a big deal" thats almost a million consoles! What the fuck is wrong with people on the internet!
that's like saying ONLY FOUR PERCENT OF THE WORLDS POPULATION DIED OVER NIGHT BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID STATISTICS. THATS NOT A BIG DEAL WHY NOT MAKE UP SOME MORE DUMB STATISTICS I MEAN FOUR IS SUCH A SMALL NUNMBER.
geez it's only 240 million people worst things have happened overnight before :rolleyes

[Sam]

I'M GLAD MY XBOX ISN'T YOUR XBOX. :(

[kahljorn]

PFT I GOT A NEW ONE THAT RUNS LIKE A DREAM

IM JUST SCARED TO UPDATE :(

[Sam]

HAHAHAHAHA DO IT

[kahljorn]

FUCK YOU YOU JUST WANT TO SEE ME FAIL

[Fathom Zero]

I WANT TO CHOKE MYSELF, GET AN ERECTION

[Fathom Zero]

Shooting on the Boondock Saints II wrapped up last month and no one told me. Here I was thinking everyone hated Troy Duffy. Apparently people reconciled. The only person not in the sequal that was in the original is Willem Dafoe. And he was HUGE in the last. So I dunno.

[Tadao]

The police said they can't find anything on my record. I guess I've learned my lesson :rolleyes

[Shrubfest]

Liar.

[Esuohlim]

I AM GOING TO SEE NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON TALK ON JAN. 22 http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/images/mockery/emoticons/eek.gif

:pickupline

[Tadao]

Liar.

I did. I shall not waste this gift and become a responsible member of society.

[Aaarg]

women's liberation came creeping all across the nation
i tell you people i was not ready when i fucked this dyke by the name of freddie
she made a little speech then she tried to make me say when
she had my balls in a vice but she left the dick
i guess it's still hooked on but now it shoots too quick

[Fathom Zero]

I can't remember who Mr. Wellin is, but he's from here and on my facebook list.

[Tadao]

1 step closer to a whopper.

[Sam]

THERE IT IS

[Aaarg]

1 step closer to a whopper.

AND I'M ABOUT TO BITE!!

[kahljorn]

The police said they can't find anything on my record. I guess I've learned my lesson :rolleyes:look at that I don't even know you or your police history and i know that you're a stupid cry baby now go ride your motorcycle you ridiculous outlaw

*shaky voice* "ooooorgghuuuuhuhuh i have warrants out for my arrest ooorguuuuhuhuh"

completely accurate quoting

[Sam]

AND TRY NOT TO SUCK ANY DICKS ON YOUR WAY THROUGH THE PARKING LOT :rolleyes

[kahljorn]

Sam! He has a long journey to indiana to worry about, let him get his fix before he leaves the parking lot. Motorcycles make for dangerous and perilous rides! He needs to be 100% FOCUSED

most motorcycle accidents occur just five miles outside of parking lots after they've refrained from sucking cock

[kahljorn]

really when was the last time you heard of a gay person crashing his motorcycle after he sucked cock?

exactly. Don't doubt statistical evidence

[Tadao]

Such a jealous little bitch.

[kahljorn]

I was jealous of your police record and now there is nothing left ;/

[Tadao]

:lol

[kahljorn]

Thank God you aren't developing a complex or anything.

:/

[Zhukov]

Does anyone else see the 'Gay CHUBBY Dating' advertisement at the top of this page? Just wondering.

[Sam]

I ONLY GET THAT AD WHEN SOMEONE POSTS A PICTURE OF TADAO.

[Fathom Zero]

"That's life, man."

"Life my ass, motherfucker! This is a business, and you ain't too far gone to see that yet."

[Tadao]

http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k254/PwnstarSE/Fuckinawsome.gif

I ONLY GET THAT AD WHEN SOMEONE POSTS A PICTURE OF TADAO.

Keep it down, Rog will want the money for running my banner.

[Tadao]

I love this guys work.

http://joshuahoffine.com/

[Tadao]

Edit: I retract my statement after reading Taddles' baby mama drama.

At first I was all WTF? And then I remembered the thread.

[Tadao]

Hey Poppy! I see you like bunnies too, so do I!

[Tadao]

:(

[Tadao]

https://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?action=batch_download&batch_id=WnBUNnFLa0QyWGQzZUE9PQ

Adrian Belew - Inner Revolution

But you guys probably would hate it :(

:(
:(
:(

[Grislygus]

Boring.

Better link.
http://swenglishrantings.com/

[MattJack]

Boring.

Better link.
http://swenglishrantings.com/
Charity begins at home (http://swenglishrantings.com/Jokes/?p=13)



She came home early and found her husband in their bedroom, making love to a very attractive young woman.
http://www.swenglishrantings.com/swenglishrantings/Bilder/Animated/AniAdult/erikaT.gif

The wife was VERY upset!
“You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me - a faithful wife, the mother of your children?!? I’m leaving you! I want a divorce straight away!!!”
http://www.swenglishrantings.com/swenglishrantings/Bilder/Animated/CARTOONS/cartoons-bedsareburning.gif (http://swenglishrantings.com/)

And he replied: “Hang on just a minute, honey, so thatI can at least tell you what happened.”

“Fine, go ahead”, she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll ever say to me!”

And he began:

http://www.swenglishrantings.com/swenglishrantings/Bilder/Animated/CARTOONS/OKEY.gif

“Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift.

She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.
She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days!

So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments!
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.

I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas, that you don’t wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair just like them.”
He took a quick breath and continued: “She was so grateful for my understanding and help, and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said…, ‘Please………do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?’”

[Tadao]

http://www.hotink.com/wacky/dastrdly/mutt_front.gif

[Tadao]

So this is where my mom gets her funny emails from. :rolleyes

[Grislygus]

http://swenglishrantings.com/swenglishrantings/Bilder/Political/ObamaKKK.gif

[Grislygus]

Posted: May 20 2008, 11:58CET
Category: News (http://swenglishrantings.com/Politics/?cat=30) Article tags: Democrat (http://swenglishrantings.com/Politics/?tag=democrat), Foriegn Policy (http://swenglishrantings.com/Politics/?tag=foriegn-policy), Idiot (http://swenglishrantings.com/Politics/?tag=idiot), Obama (http://swenglishrantings.com/Politics/?tag=obama), The DaliBama (http://swenglishrantings.com/Politics/?tag=the-dalibama)

[Esuohlim]

http://www.swenglishrantings.com/swenglishrantings/Bilder/Animated/AniAdult/erikaT.gif

Her legs :hypno

[Pub Lover]

Happy Birthday, Dr. Boogie. :)

Every year I'm annoyed that you're suddenly younger than me. :(

[Fathom Zero]

Post #53889. :cool

[Big McLargehuge]

I love this guys work.

http://joshuahoffine.com/
i saw a thing on pbs about him, he seemed almost creepy nice. and he uses his daughters in his photographs.

[Kitsa]

Where was he when all of those Stephen King books with the shitty covers were coming out?

[Zomboid]

For one of my electives this term, I picked "short fiction forms," and I can already tell that it's gonna be another one of those classes where all of the artsy douchebags have free reign and annoy me all class :(

I hate you sometimes, art school :(

[Kitsa]

srsly, you chose art school and hope to avoid artsy douchebags?

impossible, sir.

[Zomboid]

I'm here for a bachelor of communications in professional writing, so I was hoping the art fags would be confined to the dance, music, and art rooms, but no such luck.

Edit: this professor lady is really fuckable, though.

[Sam]

HIT DAT SHIT, N*GGAHHHHHHHHH

[Zomboid]

AFTA CLASS, IMMA BE AWWLIKE BITCH CUMMERE I WANNA TEOW U SUMMIN! N DEN WEN SHE GETS NEER, IMMA CUM IN HO EYE

[kahljorn]

i watched the shining the other night and good fucking grief what is with Olive Oils fucking face? It was the most horrifying thing in the movie watching her fat toothed face contort into those HORRIFIED expressions.

[RaNkeri]

:rolleyes

[Tadao]

:rolleyes

[Tadao]

http://www.rightblueeye.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/zombie_bunny.jpg

[RaNkeri]

:rolleyes

[Kitsa]

What is the protocol when you can't shovel your own driveway and a little kid comes to the door wanting to shovel it for money and you don't have any?

I can't think of any resolution to that where I don't look like a total asshole. :(

[Grislygus]

Give him an IOU for sex when he turns eighteen, that should cover a driveway

[Tadao]

In your town? Tell him you are being punished for over cooking the roast and if your man finds out you didn't actually do it he will beat you again.

[Tadao]

I get the feeling most people dont know the word moor. I have 1001 nights to thank for learning it.

[executioneer]

i watched robin hood prince of thieves i know what it means

[kahljorn]

i frst heard it in othello :)

[kahljorn]

or maybe it was titus adronicus

regardless i learned it mostly from shakespeare ;o

[Kitsa]

I was a european history junkie as a kid. I knew that Moors were black guys who were kicked out of Spain. Understood it a tad better later.

[Aaarg]

i learned moor from a tom waits song.

[Shrubfest]

Field-type wildernesses with sheep on them?

And black people?

WHAT?

[Grislygus]

Liquid's "chosen not to receive private messages".





:(

[Grislygus]

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/LifeandHappiness_Reboot.jpg

[Grislygus]

whoops

[Grislygus]

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/Blagojebitch.jpg

[Tadao]

Nice Gus.

Can Banned people get PMs?

[Kitsa]

I just came back from delivering framed pictures to a gallery for showing.

She only wanted 6 :( I showed up with 12.

[Tadao]

Which ones?

Oh and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nw-IAYxu5uo&eurl0

[Kitsa]

I can't even remember. I just remember being surprised that she chose based on the backgrounds and not the subjects. She chose ones I thought she wouldn't and didn't choose ones I thought she would. I'll have to unwrap the rest in the morning so I can recall.

Cute hedgehog.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I just came back from delivering framed pictures to a gallery for showing.

She only wanted 6 :( I showed up with 12.


It's better than showing up with 4. At least with 12 you can pick which 6 you like best to put up.

[Kitsa]

Yeah, guess that's true.

The person who had the space before me had black-and-white cityscape prints in these giant ornate frames, at least 20x30 ea. The frames made me feel very inadequate because all I had were 8.5x11s in minimalistic black frames, no mats. My stuff all looked kind of dinky.

Well, whatever, if the owner's happy with it, that's all I care about.

[Tadao]

Remember about what I said about which ones to pick? She did exactly what I said to do. :(

It's a stupid way to do it but it's for the overall look of the wall.

[Kitsa]

Yeah, heh.

I'm tired, I'm gonna go to bed. Goodnight.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Just getting home from drinking and Carrie Okay.

Sung Long Train Runnin by Doobie Brothers.

Black Velvet Band by Irish Rovers

Doing anything for love by Meat Loaf with my friend Gina

Baggy Trousers by Madness.

[pac-man]

Don't you hate it when you start breaking up your stash and you start finding like clusters of seeds?

[DevilWearsPrada]

I usually shrug it off and chew the seeds

[Kitsa]

Why can't you smoke the seeds? Or plant them and eliminate the middleman?

[DevilWearsPrada]

:x , is why.

Seeds don't burn right, and make the smoke stale and hard to inhale.
plus, planting them is a whole diff. story

[MetalMilitia]

Watch out guys I think Kitsa's a nark.

[pac-man]

http://www.iheartchaos.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/pussycat.jpg

[Kitsa]

just ignorant. A narc would try to pretend knowledge and fit in.

[MetalMilitia]

Whatever nark.

[Kitsa]

I stayed at the Ritz Carlton 5 years ago and got upgraded to some sort of fancy-schmancy suite because my room wasn't ready. It was a very weird experience, complete with bath menu (you could have a maid draw a bath with rubber ducky and piped in music for $50, but it didn't say how much to tip her):
http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/bathmenu.jpg

and a lounge where there were five "food presentations" per day. Apparently Usher was on the same floor at the same time, and fell asleep in his bathtub and flooded the room below him, but I never saw him.

Anyway, the Ritz Carlton still sends me email despite my being disabled and poor now.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/ultimateluxury.jpg

Oh, Ritz Carlton, you so funny.

[Grislygus]

A Goth, a Vandal, and a disheveled Roman walk into a bar. The Roman gets a few drinks in him and launches a tirade at his two compatriots. "You can take our wealth, you can take our lives, but you can never take our culture!", he screams, then collapses to the floor. The Vandal turns to the Goth and asks, "Vatch iss ziss he isk saying?" His friend shrugs disinterestedly.

"Ich wiel nicht," the Goth mutters over the brim of his cup, "Iss all Greek to me!"





I miss Seth :(

[Shrubfest]

How come you don't do anything or see anyone for weeks, and when you really just wanna stay in, everyone invites you out?

[Grislygus]

Ingrained radar systems

[Shrubfest]

Bastards.

[Grislygus]

Shit, you're English too, you people have had radar down pat since WWII, you should be able to pick up on when not to answer the phone

[glowbelly]

hi.

[Zomboid]

I have to fart so badly, but I'm in class :(

[glowbelly]

just let it fly.

i have awesome cleavage today

[Kitsa]

My bf has a horror story about a quiet classroom and a fart that he was just sure was going to be silent.

[glowbelly]

my son and i call each other "farticus" when we let loose at home :lol

[Zomboid]

I tried to let it loose, thinking it would be more or less silent, and also because I'm in the very back corner of the room (need an outlet for my laptop), but I let a little toot sound out and this hot girl in front of me looked back at me curiously :(

[Kitsa]

could've been worse, could've been liquid.

[MetalMilitia]

Yeah if he'd heard he would've totally made a big deal about making sure everyone knew what had just happened.

[Zomboid]

I went to the bathroom during the 5 minute break and farted, but I've been drinking a giant can of energy drink, and now my legs are shaking because I have to pee so badly.

[Grislygus]

Oh man was it one of those megacans that act as baby bottles for young adults

I get those a dollar a pop at work and shotgun the motherfuckers, you end up making like old faithful :x

[Zomboid]

Yeah, that's exactly what it is. I have my legs crossed and my left leg is shaking like crazy. Right now, we're goin through the last bit of this class, but I keep looking at the clock and THAT IS NOT HELPING!

[Grislygus]

Oh fuck, and then you always have everyone packed up to go five minutes before the end of class because people can tell when somebody's gearing to go and do likewise, and the teacher gets irritated and deliberately starts babbling as much as she possibly can and time slows to a crawl

[Tadao]

http://lh5.ggpht.com/_IZPy_l10o4g/RVWpaELLABI/AAAAAAAABQA/QV13jcnnH9c/IMG_0576.JPG

[Zomboid]

In my rhetoric class, the prof was taking attendance, and when he called out this girl who's last name is BROWN-RING, I started laughing uncontrollably :(

[pac-man]

http://cdn.idontlikeyouinthatway.com/pictures/20090115/Vern%20Troyer%20Bear/t/vern2thumb.jpg

[Tadao]

From : Weekly Comic Review: Maakies (http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?p=608297#post608297)

The cartoon would be a lot better if they used traditional animation, it looks like a bad videogame cutscene.


I really fucking hate the shit that comes out of this guys mouth.

[Pub Lover]

Is ZeldaQueen an UberTroll, or is someone actually encouraging this?

[Pub Lover]

MetaTroll*

UberMetaTroll! >:

[Tadao]

Normal people are trolls in bizarro world.

[Supafly345]

http://wheresmyshoe.com/wh031.gif

[Pub Lover]

Normal people are trolls in bizarro world.

She is normal? :eek

Fuck non-bizarro world if she is normal. >:

[Pub Lover]

And by 'fuck' I mean 'to hell with'. >:

No way I'd bone such a shitbag. >:


Although, if she offered... :love

[Tadao]

She needs something to keep her mouth busy.

[Fathom Zero]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_401dYdvp8

[Pub Lover]

What the fuck are you talking about? He's talking about this month being fucked up, not January of 27 million B.C. I mean, shit, I don't think we're going extinct this month. Not to mention journalism from that era is spotty at best.

Dude, you're being trolled! Don't rise to it, Man.

[Kitsa]

I'm glad I apparently missed this.

[pac-man]

Dude, you're being trolled! Don't rise to it, Man.

I know! I know! She's just too... normal. >:

[Pub Lover]

That, it seems, is were we must disagree. >:

On the venn diagram of Glowbelly & ZeldaQueen's interests, is there much correlation? :eek


Where is Fartin? I want to talk about dildos. >:

That was the sole intersect between GB and that crazy lawn mowerer's Interest Venn. :(

[Womti]

http://i70.photobucket.com/albums/i111/Esuohlim/375109452_cd8f7d2c5e_o-1.jpg?t=1232465857



wait what :(

[Kitsa]

One Christmas my grandmother got me a sushi set. :loveThen she insisted I use it immediately to make sushi for her and my grandfather. :)

I was puzzled about this because I never knew them to be especially open to sushi-style options, particularly seaweed wraps and/or anything raw. But we went out to the Asian grocery and bought sushi rice and wraps, along with pickles and wasabi because I was trying to think of something that would be palatable to them. :|

So we get home, I make the sushi rice, I make rolls of rice, wasabi, and strips of leftover turkey.

My grandmother picks it apart, dislikes the nori (seaweed wrap). She opines that the sushi would be better if it were wrapped in bologna. And without wasabi.:\

I make a second set of rolls, rice and turkey wrapped in bologna. As you can imagine, bologna doesn't really stick to itself and makes a shitty sushi wrap. But I aim to please.:)

My grandmother surveys the floppy bologna-wrapped turkey and rice and pours a liberal amount of turkey gravy over it, then eats it.:hypno

She now tells everyone she's had sushi.:lol

[Tadao]

I've got a sushi roll she can gum at.

[Kitsa]

Gotta make everything ugly, don't you.

[Tadao]

Yeah :(


:lol

[Tadao]

At first I thought, Grandma and Grandpa doesn't know what sushi is and is gonna hate it, then I though, this could be surprising and maybe they'll love it. But then it didn't. :(

I use to have to make smoked salmon and cooked fish rolls for my less risk taking friends. I've made a chicken roll but never made a turkey roll.

[Colonel Flagg]

My grandmother surveys the floppy bologna-wrapped turkey and rice and pours a liberal amount of turkey gravy over it, then eats it.:hypno

She now tells everyone she's had sushi.:lol

Yes. She probably also likes tofu, but without the bean curd.

[Tadao]

OMFG no way :(

http://thegoodcheercompany.com/

[Kitsa]

Another thing I was thinking about today was that I will probably never get married again. The original marriage was such a nightmare clusterfuck, ended so badly and was with such a hideous, atrocious person of zero moral fiber that I hesitate to ever yoke myself to that sort of obligation in the future.

I love my boyfriend very much, but he's not asking and I'm not urging. I have zero warm fuzzies toward the institution of marriage.

[Tadao]

Good for you guys. I would only get married again if the person I loved needed medical (assuming I was working and had medical) or needed U.S. citizenship. Other than that I don't see any reason to put it on paper.

[Tadao]

Dear Kitsa,

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/bratz_dolls_may_give_young_girls

[Kitsa]

lawlz

also, has craigslist always been rednecks and idiots or is that a new thing?

[Tadao]

I always though that craigs list is mainly for sexual deviants and garage sales.

[Kitsa]

I wouldn't use it for garage sales...wouldn't want any of those people knowing where I lived.

[Tadao]

Moms been selling grandmas coin collection on ebay for years. Ebay just changed things in a way that kinda dicks the sellers and she wanted to move over to craigs list. I personally have only been there like three times, but I don't trust it at all. I don't know why, I just get the feeling that bad things lurk there for the truley innocent people and I want no part of it.

[Kitsa]

Yeah, I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole but it's fun to read sometimes.

[MetalMilitia]

I think the creepiest/most pathetic part of Craigslist is that whole Missed Connections thing they have. It's always stuff like

We silently shared an elevator at the Blah Mall parking lot - I felt a connection and would like to meet you again because I love you. E-mail me at notarapist@gmail.com

[Kitsa]

I love the ones from around here, and their telltale vernacular.

"I seen you from acrost the bar. You ordid the hot wings and a beer. I wisht I coulda bought you that beer. Your tits was hottern the wings. I think we coulda had a connection. Please email me at toothlesswithmydickout@plebiangoodintentions.net"

[Tadao]

Sorry for the delay in posting this... here be my current entertainment center / workplace setup.

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/pix/entertainment-center.jpg

Bape skin is better, admit it :rolleyes

[Tadao]

I think I just reached my limit on the acceptability of the term African-American. No one else uses Insertrace-American. Are you ashamed of being African? It's fucking insulting. I am not Japanese-American. I am a full blooded American. Niggas is crazy baby, don't forget that boy told you. Get, that, dirt off your shoulder

[MetalMilitia]

wtf, I thought you were Japanese-Mexican-American?

[Dimnos]

African-American is as much of a real term as Mexican-Russian

[Tadao]

I wish I had Mexican blood. This whole Jap/White thing means I can't step on the dance floor.

[Kitsa]

I'm ...wait

does the thing before the dash only count if it's not Caucasian?

I think I'm, uh

French-Jewish-American sorta

[Grislygus]

http://www.i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69701483

What the fuck, guys

[Grislygus]

Ben 10, from what I've gathered

Through watching every single episode many times over

is about a kid named Ben with this alien wrist-mounted device that lets him turn into ten different alien forms (hence the name). His grandfather takes him and his cousin Gwen on trips in which they run into various monsters/aliens.

BUT DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT!

http://i111.photobucket.com/albums/n157/grislygus/readingrainbow.gif

[Grislygus]

BTW Powerpuff Girls never really had a plot line right? Each episode was really a stand alone. Mojo Jojo is the greatest, and if you can keep up with his sentences you should be able to keep up with a story.... wait. What exactly do you mean by saying the story is moving too fuckig fast? I can't imagine this situation.

Says the fifty year old japanese pedophile

[Grislygus]

While we're talking about kid's shows, the 10th anniversary Powerpuff Girls special is on right now. . . still really well written. . . I mean...I like manly cartoons like Batman. Actually, I do; The Animated Series was awesome, man. I still watch those old episodes.

Saving throw fails.

Flapjack's funny too. I like the textures they use, and the silly faces they make are nice for a cheap laugh.This man watches cartoons while he is not baked, ladies and gentlemen

[Grislygus]

I like Avatar.

GW's on the ball. Way to go, champ

[Grislygus]

I did like Danny Phantom. Had the goofiness of Fairly Odd Parents but still had some seriousness to it. Did you see the special?

Dude.




Shut up.


And fucking Zeldasbiggestfan makes the lone effort. LESS HAVE A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE

[Grislygus]

What do you think, commentators?

[Tadao]

I actually know what Ben 10 is :( I baby my siblings kids. I forget how I watched so much Powerpuff girls. I think I was really high all the time. I used to watch a lot of Freakazoid and Baby Loony Toones.

[Grislygus]

WELL GUS I THINK THAT BOTH TEAMS HAD SERIOUS TROUBLE WITH THE WIND, LOOKIT THAT FLAG POLE FLUTTER, IT'S PRACTICALLY GALE FORCE. I'M SURPRISED THE OSU BEAVERS EVEN MANAGED TO MAKE A FIELD GOAL AT ALL IN THIS GAME. THESE GUYS REALLY SHOWED SPIRIT, WHAT A GAME, IT WAS INCREDIBLE. I'M HAPPY THEY'RE GETTING A TROPHY FOR THIS, THEY REALLY SHOWED THE WORLD WHAT A COLLEGE TEAM IS MADE OF