I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Seven Force]

Copyright 2005 Bill Maher.

[Seven Force]

I can't wait till his show comes back on in February. :(

[Guitar Woman]

I have better things to do than watch bleeders gab about cooking or whatever it is you women do
Fuck you, that show is awesome >:

[Pub Lover]

I think that show is shit. >:

[Pub Lover]

Hey Pub. How are things?
Hey Brian, PMs don't count towards my postcount, what are you thinking? >:

[Pub Lover]

BTW, things are cool. :)

You?

[Esuohlim]

http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/8168/dscf04335of7ex.jpg

[Pub Lover]

:lol

[Pub Lover]

Right now anyone in the south of the South Island of New Zealand can tune into 1440 AM & hear me completely balls up the Morning News & Weather as it's my first day. :)

[Pub Lover]

Well, I started doing the news three minutes too early & I mispronounced 'park' as 'pack'. Not bad. :)


I am very glad I cannot be fired. :(

[Esuohlim]

Haha Pub you're a star

[Pub Lover]

What's it called when you're the opposite of a star?

[MetalMilitia]

A big FAT nobody! Or some topical celebraties name... like Micheal Barrymore :/

[Esuohlim]

What's it called when you're the opposite of a star?

An Esuohlim :(

[Seven Force]

So this is what it's like....when doves cry. :(

[Seven Force]

Page break!

[Seven Force]

Oh fuck

[Guitar Woman]

Way to rip off the second worst person on the forums >:

I edited because I'm not as bad as Sevenforce >:

[Seven Force]

Way to know your place on the forums.

I edited because I honestly don't think she's the worst person here.

[Sethomas]

Would a black hole be the opposite of a star?

[Guitar Woman]

no

[Guitar Woman]

http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/8168/dscf04335of7ex.jpg

[Seven Force]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/electric_shellfish/condom-used.jpg

[Guitar Woman]

For a minute I thought blue oatmeal came back :(

Also the news guy is way better than some old used condom >:

[Seven Force]

<<< I can be anybody I want. ;)

[Pub Lover]

For a minute I thought blue oatmeal came back :(
He's too busy being creepy in the real world.

Also the news guy is way better than some old used condom >:
Didn't you hear? I made a rule! >:


:lol

[Pub Lover]

I'm not as bad as Sevenforce >:
On a par. :/

[Pub Lover]

I honestly don't think she's the worst person here.
Quick SF, list the top ten worst posters! :eek

[Pub Lover]

Would a black hole be the opposite of a star?
You know what? This thread needs more you! :love

[Pub Lover]

Also the news guy is way better than some old used condom >:
OK, how about the condom gets edited into the background of the news guy? Then we both lose.

[Sethomas]

I have a physics class with a particle physicist. Today in class we derived some Special Relativity equations, including Lorentz force mass inflation. I asked, since it was my assumption, that if particle accelerators can create black holes by accelerating particles to a critical density that would equal that of an event horizon.

He responded by defining what a black hole is and acting like he'd never heard of the idea of particle accelerator black holes. I think I was better off at Chicago. :(

[Pub Lover]

I think I was better off at Chicago. :(
I don't think that anecdote would of stopped last year you from doing what you did. Maybe a stiff lecture about the impropriety of telling people about your crazyness would of worked better, but then with you it probably wouldn't.

My future self has warned me against these acts, but then I must do them anyway as is the divine wish. Oh no!Why did I go back in time at all? :pipepuff

[Seven Force]

I think i'd be better off at Chicago too.

[Sethomas]

See, that's my little Catch-22. I'm crazy to the point that I'd take a life, and if I weren't crazy then I'd be bored to the point that I'd take a life.

[Pub Lover]

I think i'd be better off at Chicago too.
Hey, where is that list? >:

[Pub Lover]

See, that's my little Catch-22. A Catch-point22 if you will. :pipepuff

[Seven Force]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/SevenForce/seven1.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/SevenForce/seven2.png

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/SevenForce/PNKOshot.gif
Everytime I scroll down the page 'Chojin! Oh shit! :eek' flashes across my mind. >:

[Seven Force]

I don't have a list but to me there is only one bad poster.

Father Spaz.

[Seven Force]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/SevenForce/PNKOshot.gif
Everytime I scroll down the page 'Chojin! Oh shit! :eek' flashes across my mind. >:

That's the reaction I wanted. :lol

[Pub Lover]

Father Spaz. Worst Poster Ever?
I thought he was one of my better characters. :(

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/SevenForce/avatarloo6zt.gif
Hey, have you got that Jessica Alba pic I used to use?

[Seven Force]

No. Unfortunately. :(

[Pub Lover]

I think i'd be better off at Chicago too.
Wait, you lived in the same town as Seth & didn't visit him with a multitude of mindfucks while he was at his arguably most batshitzanical?

[Seven Force]

No.

[Seven Force]

I feel like i'm going to puke. :(

[Guitar Woman]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/electric_shellfish/condom-used.jpg

[Chojin]

For a minute I thought blue oatmeal came back :(
He's too busy being creepy in the real world.
That made me lol :<

[bigtimecow]

:vomit

make an emoticon :(

[xbxDaniel]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/electric_shellfish/condom-used.jpg
I think I've seen that condom somewhere before.

[Sethomas]

What condom? Ohhhhhh, the picture of which you unnecessarily quoted. I so often get condom references confused.

[xbxDaniel]

I did it with you in mind Sethomas. I'm of course commenting to your post conviently placed above this one.

[bigtimecow]

dickbags!

[Misdemonar]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/electric_shellfish/condom-used.jpg
I think I've seen that condom somewhere before.

You mean this dickbag? :posh

[Sam]

I'M SORRY BUT THIS THREAD WAS FULL OF DICKBAGS WAY BEFORE I POSTED THE PICTURE OF THE CONDOM! :lol

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/electric_shellfish/condom-used.jpg
Way to cave in. :rolleyes

[Pub Lover]

For a minute I thought blue oatmeal came back :(
He's too busy being creepy in the real world.
That made me lol :<
Ironic wasn't it. :(

Yay, I made Chojin laugh! :)

[Pub Lover]

What condom? Ohhhhhh, the picture of which you unnecessarily quoted. I so often get condom references confused.
Do you even look at my posts?

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/electric_shellfish/condom-used.jpg

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/electric_shellfish/condom-used.jpg

[Sam]

OOPS DOUBLE POST!

[Pub Lover]

Uh Oh! :chatter

[Sam]

WATCH OUT PUB THE NETTIQUITE POLICE MAY COME FOR YOU :O

[Seven Force]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/SevenForce/title-the_pitbull.gif

[Sam]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/electric_shellfish/condom-used.jpg

[Seven Force]

I saw the original pic where Sam got his avatar and it's frightening as fuck. >:

Also: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/SevenForce/title-the_pitbull.gif

[Pub Lover]

I saw the original pic where Sam got his avatar and it's frightening as fuck. >:
Yes, it is.

[Marc Summers]

I play the French Horn along with some other guy in the school's wind ensemble and he KISSED IT IN FRONT OF ME >:

It wasn't like how a priest would kiss a baby to bless it or some crap...it was like he made the "MMMMMMWAH" sound when he kissed it when he either put it down or picked it up. I guess that's why he's first chair :(

[Pub Lover]

http://www.capecoralcf.org/cccf%20-%20french%20horn.jpg
FEELING HORNY?

[Seven Force]

Was this game fucking supposed to give me nightmares when I was little? >:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/SevenForce/Shinobi3-ReturnoftheNinjaMasterU_00.gif

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/SevenForce/shot1.gif

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/SevenForce/shot2.gif

[The Retro Kat]

Shenobi 2?

[Guitar Woman]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/electric_shellfish/condom-used.jpg

[executioneer]

Hey guys i went to the gym today and apparantly i can lift 480 sounds on the leg press :eek ps reading this message board is difficult on a phone :lol

[Pub Lover]

How much can you lift with your beard? :eek

[Seven Force]

Shenobi 2?

Shinobi 3.

[Pub Lover]

Right now anyone in the south of the South Island of New Zealand can tune into 1440 AM & hear me completely balls up the Morning News & Weather as it's my first day. :)
Oh yesterday me, you had it so easy. You remembered some of your training, you had a bit more sleep, & you didn't have the Rural Farm Bullitin to do... you had it so fucking easy. I hate you yesterday me. :)

Hey guys, I'm really freaking the fuck out. :)

I'm trying to calm down by treating it as a joke. :)

It's not fucking working, & the minutes keep counting down. :)

Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! :)

Why doesn't knowing it's all in my head make it go away?

Fuckity Fucks! :)

[Pub Lover]

There is no possible way to ruin a thread like this, no matter how hard pub tries
:lol

[Pub Lover]

This page sould be about the the foundation of Venice. :rolleyes
You know what? FUCK THE FUCKING INTERNET IN IT'S FUCKING FUCK HOLE, THE FUCKING STUPID FUCKING FUCK BAG! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!.

Hmm, I think I'm a bit stressed. I say, er scream, my fuck speech at least twice a day. :/

Anyway, you fucking stupid American fucks & your fucking stupid internet. You can't just say London, you have to fucking say London, England. & the same for fucking Venice. If you say Venice to a fuckhead fucking American they say "Which Venice?" WHICH FUCKING VENICE?! THE VENICE! THE VENICE THAT WAS FULL OF PEOPLE & INSPIRING GENIUS ARTISTS WHILE YOUR FUCKING PISSPOOR NATION WAS STILL IN THE HANDS OF THE FUCKING INDIANS. >:

VENICE FUCKING ITALY MY FUCKING ARSE! >:
:lol

[Pub Lover]

http://ploug.eu.org/doc/jessica-alba-14.jpg

JESSICA ALBA >:
That's what I was looking for. :(

[Seven Force]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/SevenForce/thuy3.jpg

[Pub Lover]

OK Brian, to further take my mind away from my overwhelming incompetence tell me about Thuy3.

[bigtimecow]

i have a video on my computer of willie eatting his beard

it was kewl

[Seven Force]

OK Brian, to further take my mind away from my overwhelming incompetence tell me about Thuy3.

She died. :tear

She was the best power ranger of all.

[Pub Lover]

No way! the original Blue Ranger kicked ass!

[Pub Lover]

i have a video on my computer of willie eatting his beard

it was kewl
Yes, it is.

[Pub Lover]

No way! the original Blue Ranger kicked ass!
http://www.rangercentral.com/episodes/ep015/eppic25.jpg
Dungarees!

[Seven Force]

Ok ok, best FEMALE power ranger. >:

[Seven Force]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/SevenForce/azu.jpg

[Pub Lover]

I didn't notice till it was pointed out to me in the last month that the Yellow Ranger was asian & the Black Ranger was... erm, scandalizable. :(

[Seven Force]

I bet you didn't also notice that the black ranger was missing a finger. He hid it really well.

[Seven Force]

I'm kinda ashamed to know this shit. :(

[Pub Lover]

Wait! The Black Ranger was Radar O'Riley? :eek

[Pub Lover]

http://www.6th.org.uk/Members/Images/Radar.gif
He does look a bit like Billy Blue Ranger. :/

[Pub Lover]

Hey MetalMillitia, or any other UK mocker, do you remember the Village with Three Corners? Man, that takes me back. :(

[Chojin]

The blue ranger was the only one that actually practised a martial art ;<

[Emu]

I have three questions:

Why was the Black Ranger black, why was the Yellow Ranger Asian, and why was the Green Ranger German? :(

[Seven Force]

Yeah the Green Ranger should've been Irish.

[Guitar Woman]

Son of a bitch sevenforce you're supposed to post the page break image!

[Emu]

Quit pointing your hammer at me

[Seven Force]

Yeah, fuck you GW! Who are you to judge? At least we know how to link images properly. >:

[Pub Lover]

Son of a bitch sevenforce you're supposed to post the page break image!
:lol

[Seven Force]

I don't know when the page breaks, i'm not a freak like you.

[Guitar Woman]

:tear

[Pub Lover]

Yeah, fuck you GW! Who are you to judge? >:
1. The page break image is, according to Chojin, one of my rules. :eek
2. GW is my internet girlfriend, & if I can make stupid ass rules, she can be as judgemental as she likes. >:

3. :lol

[Guitar Woman]

I found our new page break image you guys:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v623/h0lycrap123/I-Mock%20crap/DadJesus.jpg

[Emu]

That depressed me. :(

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/electric_shellfish/condom-used.jpg

[Pub Lover]

http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/8168/dscf04335of7ex.jpg

[Pub Lover]

That depressed me. :(
Until this thread (http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=20708) I didn't notice how much you posted. Every damn thread! >:

:respect

[Emu]

I hadn't seen that thread :<

also I have nothing better to do at school

Plus I occasionally contribute long, contrived arguments at people on the egghead board so at least I do SOMETHING worthwhile >:

not saying you don't, just that i'm not a complete waste

;_;

[Seven Force]

No one thinks you're a complete waste. :rolleyes

[Pub Lover]

Compared to each other, no we're not wastes. :(

However! :eek

[Seven Force]

Ok ok explain the rules again. :lol

[Esuohlim]

The first rule is don't talk about the rules :sunglasses

[Seven Force]

Milhouse likes Vaseline on toast. :rolleyes

[Seven Force]

Get

[Seven Force]

Ready

[Seven Force]

for

[Seven Force]

the

[Seven Force]

(gasp)

[Seven Force]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/electric_shellfish/condom-used.jpg

[Esuohlim]

http://nautarch.tamu.edu/PROJECTS/denbigh/images/broke.jpg

[Seven Force]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v47/electric_shellfish/condom-used.jpg

[Seven Force]

GODDAMNIT >:

I WAS JUST ABOUT TO DO IT TOO BUT YOU RUINED ME MILHOUSE

[Esuohlim]

More like I saved it you can't do anything >:

[Esuohlim]

MY GIRLFRIEND LEFT HER SHIRT OVER MY PLACE LAST NIGHT AND EVERY TIME I SMELL IT I GET ALL WARM INSIDE :( :( :(

[Esuohlim]

I SUGGEST YOU DIRTBAGS ALL GET GFs THEY ARE FUN TO SMELL >:

[Seven Force]

I DON'T WANT GUARDIAN FORCES I DON'T EVEN LIKE FINAL FANTASY 8

THEY ARE FUN TO SMELL

YOU FREAK >:

[MetalMilitia]

He's right sevenforce.

[Guitar Woman]

I SUGGEST YOU DIRTBAGS ALL GET GFs THEY ARE FUN TO SMELL >:
HELL YEAH GFs ROCK

BTW sevenforce, the fact that you tried to make an FF8 joke proves that you are the biggest dork here :rolleyes

[MetalMilitia]

I SUGGEST YOU DIRTBAGS ALL GET GFs THEY ARE FUN TO SMELL >:
HELL YEAH GFs ROCK

BTW sevenforce, the fact that you tried to make an FF8 joke proves that you are the biggest dork here :rolleyes

but... you're a GIRL!?! :eek

[Guitar Woman]

Hey metalmilitia did you know that I'm gay now, because I am :eek

[Seven Force]

What's for dinner?

[MetalMilitia]

Women arn't gay >:

[EisigerBiskuit]

This is news to me :(

[Guitar Woman]

This woman is! :eek

[EisigerBiskuit]

AM I BEING DECIEVED

[MetalMilitia]

*psst* yes you are

[Guitar Woman]

NO WAY

I'M SO GAY I COULD MAKE CLAY AIKEN JEALOUS

[Guitar Woman]

YOU KNOW, OF MY GAYNESS

[Riggo44]

Asian lesbians are hot.....

[nothing4buddha]

today at my school some old creepy guy was giving out flyers that said if you like martin luther king jr then you have to hate gay people and buttsex :(

[Esuohlim]

That's the kind of conundrum that would make a gay black man cry :(

[Sethomas]

The girlie I've had a thing for just changed her facebook profile to say she's in a relationship. I don't think she's talking about me.

:sob

[lunlun]

sissie

and in fact guitar girl isnt gay or lesbian, she just wants to be
because
at the moment its just "in" to be homosexual so they can sing " you gotta fight! your your right" to.. "
no... not to party..
to become gay whenever they like
because
at the moment its just "in" to be homosexual so they can sing " you gotta fight! your your right" to.. "
no... not to party..
to become gay whenever they like

did you have a deja vu?

[Guitar Woman]

Oh w/e >:

[Guitar Woman]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v623/h0lycrap123/I-Mock%20crap/DadJesus.jpg

[xbxDaniel]

My friend said he'd try and help me get a job at his lumberyard.

[Guitar Woman]

I'm trying to find the FF7 TV ad that bought my soul way back when and made me want that game more than anything in the universe.

I'm having no luck at all :(

[xbxDaniel]

Sorry about your misfortune. Around these parts we don't get many video game commercials, especially in local channels. If you find it, please enlighten the boards as to its location. Please.

[Guitar Woman]

This thread needs more Boston Legal!
http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/6830/boston7ts.png

[executioneer]

Is 'job at the lumberyard' code for gay sex or something

[Pub Lover]

I SUGGEST YOU DIRTBAGS ALL GET GFs THEY ARE FUN TO SMELL >:
Really? :tear

[Marc Summers]

I'd only smell them if they enjoy being smelled.
The sensual act of smelling must be enjoyed by both parties in order to create a relaxed and good-spirited atmosphere.
If a GF does not like the intense rush of being smelled, then I will have to do so privately where the said GF is not bothered by my sudden intake of GF fumes.
I calculate and predict a GF's reaction with a 95% confidence interval.
If the GF is not delighted within the first 1.387 seconds (also known as an instant) upon my creation and initiation of the smell experience, I will terminate it within the next .54 second, and have a relaxed yet firm expression on my face in order to coax a less extreme negative reaction out of the GF.

[Pub Lover]

I was going to post a dozen times right here, but I feel responsible for the CosmoToad. Bloody newbs thinking my behavior is acceptable. :(

[Pub Lover]

Just like Riggo44 ruined Seven Force's Asian Lover joke. :(

Bloody Newbs. >:

[Sethomas]

But I really want to hear what you have to say!

[Pub Lover]

In regards to you, Mister Pace, all I have to say is :pipepuff

[Sethomas]

You break my heart sometimes :(

[Pub Lover]

If we were all Chimps, I would say the rest of us spend our time flinging poop or grooming each other, while you sit to one side wearing a bow tie, reading some dread tome, & smoking your pipe. Every so often one of us will hit you with some stray shit, & you'd put down your book, look at the offender squarely & say "My dear chap, is all this really necessary?" then hold their attention for a second or so before puffing on your pipe & returning to your book.

[Guitar Woman]

http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/9062/monocle4tc.jpg
lol

[Seven Force]

Vivisection is no laughing matter. >:

[Pub Lover]

I find it very funny. What else are animals good for?

[Seven Force]

Ask Lycurgus1985.

[CrazyGerman]

pets. and food.

[Pub Lover]

Pets? Fuck pets! If I wanted some ungrateful bastard eating my food, & pissing on my carpet I'd have kids.

As for food... :vegan (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01232006)

[CrazyGerman]

there's nothing better than a good steak. and pork loin is to DIE for. as for others, such as sausage, bacon, chicken breast, wings.... I could never live without meat/poultry. I'm sorry.

[Chojin]

I guess it's back to the drawing board for ol' pub!

[Chojin]

Oh. This explains it.

http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?p=382755#382755

[Seven Force]

Holy shit! :eek

[Chojin]

Really, what is so alluring about a place where everyone hates you that makes you want to come back over and over?

I'm talking about womti haha no hard feelings man

[Chojin]

http://www.witsendpub.com/PubLoversGuide.jpg

[lunlun]

why are so many germans on this forum? :(

[Chojin]

Why am so many Germans, you mean.

[lunlun]

why "am"?

i AM

but they ARE

so there are so many germans on this forum and i want to be the only one because germans are stupid

[Pub Lover]

Americans are worse! :canadianapparently

[lunlun]

hehehehehe

[Guitar Woman]

HAY GUYS :(

[ziggytrix]

i'm goin to the volksawgen dealership today.

we can pretend it's in honor of all the fine germanic folk in this thread.

and since i'm a texan now, the first words outta my mouth should be "HOWDY, DO Y'ALL STILL SELL THAT FAR-FLAG-NOUGAT CAR?"

[Guitar Woman]

Man, I hope John Woo doesn't fuck up on the Metroid movie.

[executioneer]

Guys can i be german too i'm like a sixteenth cause my great grampa was half german? I think :( maybe he was ALL german idk

[Guitar Woman]

ok but you have to use lots of italics, especially when you're cussing stupid peole out

you also have to cuss out a lot of stupid people for being so stupid >:

[Guitar Woman]

oh and you also have to edit your posts a lot like I do

[executioneer]

Oh man how am i gonna do that i'm posting on a phone :(

[Sam]

HEY WILLIE REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME WE WERE TALKING VIA CELL PHONE TEXT MESSAGES AND YOU SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE HOUSE YOU WERE GOING TO RENT IT WAS BY A LAKE DID YOU RENT IT?

[executioneer]

Yeah moved there and my roommate turned into a c*nt big suprise :rolleyes ps if i send you another picture would you host it and post it in pyph for me :(

[Sam]

yessir

[ziggytrix]

oh shit i bought a golf! :eek

[Pub Lover]

It's too bad GW is a lesbo because I find her pretty attractive.
That's a coincidence, I find her attractively pretty.

[Seven Force]

How did the rest of the day go for you?

[Pub Lover]

How did the rest of the day go for you?
I went to sleep right after I spoke to you. I feel worse now than I did then.

[Seven Force]

That sucks. :(

[Pub Lover]

HEYHEY! :lol2

[Seven Force]

I'M BORED

[Pub Lover]

How about you follow CosmoToad around calling him stupid in imaginative ways?

[Seven Force]

I think he got the message.

[Guitar Woman]

http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/5788/rongi3gs.png

[Seven Force]

Now why would you do that? >:

[Pub Lover]

I think he got the message.
I do not think he did. He is obviously oblivious to chastisement. >:

[Pub Lover]

Now why would you do that? >:
She's attempting a running gag. It would be better if she made it a story rather than ripping off Rongi who was referencing Sam. :(

[Guitar Woman]

I just wanted you guys to see my MSpaint masterpiece :(

Also I'm gonna do a story once I come up with some ideas :(

[GADZOOKS]

I hope it's a bedtime story because I'm fucking tired of you!

[Seven Force]

I just wanted you guys to see my MSpaint masterpiece :(

Also I'm gonna do a story once I come up with some ideas :(

The bathroom at work is an odd place. One minute you’re working with someone the next your hear them in a stall farting out shit with their pants around their ankles. You look for shoes and wonder, “Who is that person with the obvious gastrointestinal problems?” One day I walked into the bathroom and heard someone in a stall rustling a newspaper and shamelessly blasting away with heavy breathing and everything. I knock on the stall door and ask if he’s ok. He seems startled and tells me he’s fine. I put a hand under the stall door and ask him to slap me five on some excellent doody making. He kind of kicks my hand away and asks who I am. I pound on the door demanding to be let in. I tell him I want to see his work and I want to see him in action. He tells me that I’m not funny and tells me go away. I tell him he is an excellent doody maker. I ask him if his doody is stooly. He now seems angered and demands to know who I am. I go over to the urinal and grab a cake and lob it over into his stall. He screams an Ag and seems upset. He tells me fuck you.

I kick the door in and see Peter (a Vice President!) all in his most vulnerable. He stares back at me and asks me what the hell I’m doing. I tell him I want to be involved with his doody. He wants to know why I’m doing this. I tell him he has no respect for doody. I tell him that everyday a doody gives you pleasure and he’s an inconsiderate fuck. I club him with a fist over his head and knock him off the toilet. He tries to get up and run but his pants around his ankles are presenting a problem. I grab him by his head and dunk his head face first into the toilet. I tell him to look at the doody. He bubbles a scream back at me so I shove his face further into the toilet mushing his face into the doody - then yank him up gasping. His face has some doody stuck to it and I pull him up by his tie and stumble him across the bathroom to the smack his face into the mirror. Look at yourself doody face! look at you! Respect the doody! I tell him! RESPECT!

I pull his head back and then smash it into the mirror. The shards of glass cut up his face and brown and blood are running down his cheeks. He seems very surprised and stunned. What a turn of events! One second making doody the next you got toilet water all over your face and doody and you’re bleeding and you’re having a problem! I throw him back into the stall and hold his face over the toilet. I yell at him to look at the doody! He tells me to let him up. I tell him to look at it. He screams back OK OK I’m looking. I ask him what he sees and he tells me he doesn’t see shit. I grab a hunk of his doody and shove it in his face. I ask him again what he sees and he tells me he sees SHIT OK I SEE MY SHIT! That’s right. I tell him YOUR DOODY! And is it beautiful? I ask him. He tells me that it is beautiful. I ask him if its brown he tells me yes yes it’s brown its brown! That’s right fucker that’s your doody and it’s brown. AND BEAUTIFUL show it some goddamn respect! I respect you doody he tells it. Damn right I say. Now clean yourself up I tell him you look terrible and you’re embarrassing the doody. Doody is modest I tell him. That’s what makes it so beautiful. I am so excited all this activity makes me want to doody. Some may say I am doodyfixated or perhaps a bit overly involved with the brown brown - well if you ever hear anyone speaking such blasphemy you point ‘em out and I’ll make sure they learn proper.

[camacazio]

I didn't read all that.

[camacazio]

I didn't read ANY of it.

[GADZOOKS]

My joke was funnier because mine is based on real events.

[Pub Lover]

I didn't read ANY of it.
You're better off than I. For reading it was done by me, and slight sickness was felt. Not nice was the story of Brian's Doody Duty.

PS. When I say Duty it doesn't sound like Doody as Duty has a T. Also I do not say Doody.

[Sam]

Seven Force's doody story reminded me of Chuck Palhniuk. :(

[lunlun]

Ich muss durch den monsuuuuun hinter die weeeelt
bis ans ende der zeiiiiit bis kein regen mehr fäääälllt.

[Seven Force]

Onan is that you? :lol

[camacazio]

HEY GUYS PLAY BIONIC COMMANDO WHILE LISTENING TO JUNGLE BOOGIE IT'S GREAT

[Esuohlim]

Hey guys what we need on this board is someone who makes a german reference in every single post

[Pub Lover]

Sir, I believe you have failed to notice that we are a community made up of characters with only a single joke each. If you were to deprive... Oh fuck this! >:

[MetalMilitia]

Sir, I believe you have failed to notice that we are a community made up of characters with only a single joke each.

Thats a startlingly accurate summary of I-mockey :O

[Pub Lover]

Thats a startlingly accurate summary of I-mockey :O
It was also a startlingly bad start to an awfully bad attempt at a joke, which I thankfully gave up on at it's midpoint. :(

[Pub Lover]

yeah hands off buddy she's privately owned by a queer halfway across the world.
:lol

A much better joke is that. :(

...or 'me' if you will. ;<

[Esuohlim]

Haha post that picture of you again with half a beard

[Pub Lover]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v253/urbansuicidejunkie/me/20-09-05_6.jpg

[Pub Lover]

I must be in a good mood or high or something, because I don't think I look like a sack of shit in that picture. :(

Oh, & apparently that wasn't the pic (http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=9262&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=11700) I posted last year, go figure.

[Pub Lover]

In fact I was right about using the above pic (http://www.i-mockery.net/viewtopic.php?t=9262&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=11800). I must of been really in need of approval that day. :lolfrown

[MetalMilitia]

Why do you only have one half of a beard?

[Pub Lover]

http://www.timsnopek.com/images/Dousman_House_Fire_33952.JPG

[Pub Lover]

Why do you only have one half of a beard?
I've been pulling out the hairs on the rightside of my face for a few weeks now, it looks awful, & it stings a little, but it's... not fun or enjoyable, more preoccupying. Yeah, I'm just keeping myself preoccupied till I finally kick off. I also haven't cut my hair since that time I posted a picture of my new hair cut. My roots are really long. Oh & I'm not showering enough, or changing my clothes so I stink & have greasy hair. Ladies.
I haven't shaved for a couple of months as I'm waiting for a new digiatal camera, but I assure you it's almost equal on both sides at the moment. :(

[Pub Lover]

Everytime the board goes down I kinda panic & IM people I haven't spoken to for months just to ask if it's down for them too.

...because I fear that I'm banned again. :(

[MetalMilitia]

A harrowing experience for all concerned.

[Pub Lover]

Yeah, my half-beard is awful! :x

[Seven Force]

...because I fear that I'm banned again. :(

You too?

[Sam]

PUB THINKS HE IS TOO GOOD TO TALK TO ME ON AIM >:

[Pub Lover]

PUB THINKS HE IS TOO GOOD TO TALK TO ME ON AIM >:
The bollocks I do! I rarely use AIM because it got depressing having a huge buddylist with no one that talks to me. No one has messaged me today. :(

[Pub Lover]

FINE, Seven force just IMmed me, but he is really just a porn bot.

F99Cloud (10:35:24): WANT PORN?! I GOT PORNZX! MEGA-PONRNXZ!!! :O
Lemmysomemoney (10:35:42): No.
F99Cloud (10:35:44): SURE YOU SO! PRONZXS!!!

Which is kinda disturbing as he's so young. :(

[Seven Force]

I hear tell you like 'em young.

[camacazio]

That apple is still a brilliant avatar.

[Pub Lover]

I hear tell you like 'em young.
That's the thing, I don't. :(

[Sethomas]

I'm sure you could learn to.

[Pub Lover]

Well, if I make it to fifty, then I'm sure late twenties will seem young without my point of preferance having changed. >:

I hope I don't make it to fifty. :(

[Sethomas]

We need to have an I-Mockery death pool. It couldn't feasibly be annual, but it'd be fun to see whose blaze of glory happens first.

You'll outlive me for sure.

[Pub Lover]

LISTER: Anesthesis stasis pods!

He fiddles with a near-by control panel. One of the pods slides out from the wall and begins to open.

LISTER: I must have triggered something.
KRYTEN: Doctor? Doctor Lanstrom?

The open pod pours forth smoke, but they they can't see anything inside yet.

LANSTROM: (_Very_ heavy German accent) And whom might you be?
LISTER: Hi. We were just passing. We heard the beacon.
LANSTROM: Schopenhauer was right, wouldn't you say? Life without pain has no meaning. Gentlemen I wish to give your lives meaning.

LANSTROM sits up in the stasis pod. A howl emanates from her. Her eyes glow a fluorescent red colour and electrical bolts emerge from them aimed at LISTER, KRYTEN, and CAT.

LISTER: Why can't we ever meet anyone nice?
CAT: Why don't we ever meet anyone who can shoot straight?

[Seven Force]

Go suffocate in a vagina Guitar Woman and quit looking for excuses for the horny losers to talk to you.

Oh god why did I fall for that?

[Pub Lover]

Yeah. :rolleyes

[Matt Harty]

hi

[Matt Harty]

hi

[Matt Harty]

hi

[camacazio]

Stephen Hawking is back. I can't find a fitting emoticon for this event.

[camacazio]

A thumbs up would be appropriate.

[xbxDaniel]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2c/Thumbs_up.jpg/180px-Thumbs_up.jpg

I should've waited until Pub gave the go-ahead. :(

[Seven Force]

hi

Jesus Christ I was wondering where you were last night! :eek

[nothing4buddha]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/DRUMMING4BUDDHA/faggot.jpg
HAY SEVEN FORCE

[ziggytrix]

I wanna go to anime conventions for the same reason I liked going to the zoo when I was little.

[Pub Lover]

I should've waited until Pub gave the go-ahead. :(
Seriously WTF, I'm not the Mod of this thread, I just pretend to be. :(

It creeps me out whenever you say shit like that. >:

[Pub Lover]

hi
Hay Matt Harty!