I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Tadao]

http://www.thingsyoudonttell.com/images/photos/stalker_in_the_window.jpg

I think the last time I talked to her was in 88.

[Kitsa]

Yeah, I imagine she'll be surprised. And maybe think it's some sort of long-distance booty call.

[Tadao]

According to her Myspace, she likes Nascar and country music. She used to be a little metal chick. I'm curious as to what happened.

[Kitsa]

probably a man.

[Tadao]

Or she only liked metal to fit in at school.

[Dixie]

Most of the 80s metal chicks turned redneck in the latter 90s.
Lamers.

[Kitsa]

I know of at least one who did, and hardcore. It was sad but I could kind of see it coming.

[Tadao]

WTH, I need to fix her immediately.

[Tadao]

She lives in LA for the love of Satan.

[Kitsa]

I am pissed off.

I began wearing a pair of summer sandals, back when it was warm.

Then I got a rash across the tops of my feet.

Now it looks like I have fucking leprosy.

When the rash abruptly started producing large red welts, I Sought Medical Attention. The Urgent Care guy says maybe ringworm from the shoes.

Ringworm*!

What in the blue fuck?!?!

You don't want to see my feet right now. Or maybe you do. But they're gross :( G_d gave me a plague in time for Passover.



* ringworm is not a worm.

[Tadao]

It could be one of the 5 forms of psoriasis.

[Kitsa]

That would be heartbreaking.

See for yourself. Who wants some of this? Line forms to the left!

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/stupidfuckingsandals.jpg

my feet are shiny because I've been hitting them with every spray and cream I can think of.

[Tadao]

Did they get puffy as well? What happened to me at the last job I worked had a lot to do with a rash that took over my legs and arms and any muscle I used puffed up to about the point of breaking my skin.

[Kitsa]

No, not really puffy, but that one on the right...the red spot is big, swollen, raised and tough.

And at night it itches so badly I think I'm going out of my mind.

[Tadao]

I should have taken pictures of what happened to me, but I didn't want to be reminded of it ever. It was the beginning of the end of my normal life. I had to accept from then on that I am not a normal healthy person who can live life without consequences. I had 2 pieces of skin removed and a muscle biopsy to find out what was wrong. To this day I don't know what happened. I think it was a form of Psoriasis as it goes hand in hand with my Ankylosing Spondylitis. I won't ever really know though. It got so bad that my roommate thought I was going to die on him.

[Kitsa]

That sucks. It doesn't quite sound like Shingles (then again, neither does mine).

[Tadao]

I have a feeling it was Psoriatic Arthritis. It looked like this.

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b171/centralia62801/Psoriasis/psor13.jpg

But on my legs and feet mostly, then they would scar.

[Kitsa]

Do you have rheumatoid arthritis?

[Tadao]

I have worse, I have ankylosing spondylitis.

[Kitsa]

Well, I guess I was asking more if one autoimmune-ish problem left you open to many others.

[Tadao]

I don't know if RA people get other autoimmune diseases, but I do know that people with AS often have multiple problems as a result. PSA is one of them, there is also Iritis and Heart disease.

[Kitsa]

Things are distributed unfairly in this world.

[Tadao]

Lol, I deserve worse. I'm a lot nicer for having been in chronic pain.

[Kitsa]

I've been more of a bitch for having been in chronic pain.

[Colonel Flagg]

Kit, is it possible you had an allergic reaction to the material in the sandals? I'm just wondering if some benadryl or other antihistamine would have any effect.

Ah, you've probably thought of this already anyways. :\

[Fathom Zero]

Cheap flipflops have been known to have chemicals in them that burn. I'd go find the link, but I don't think it's worth the five minutes slogging through the Consumerist.

[Tadao]

http://www.google.com/search?q=cheap+flipflops+have+been+known+to+have+c hemicals+in+them+that+burn&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

[Kitsa]

I alternated between Hydrocortisone 1% and Bacitracin for about a week before the rash stepped up the game and I went to the urgent care. I thought that maybe it was a latex allergy thing...I'm very allergic to dipped latex...but no, doesn't seem to be.

I'm just indignant at the idea of having ringworm. And a little uneasy because I don't like what that says about my immune system :(

[Tadao]

I didn't see any ring shapes on your feet.

[Kitsa]

Yeah, I saw those pictures...pretty horrid...but it's probably more likely that I do have some sort of skin infection from the non-breathable rubbery material. I just hate admitting it.

[Pub Lover]

I suggest covering them in seminal fluid. I am willing to help in this matter. :7force

[Kitsa]

Holy shit, that just made me realize something. If I go around kicking crotches, I might possibly have new germ-warfare capabilities!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I'm thinking about buzzing my hair soon. Was going to do it tonight but it fucking snowed.

[Kitsa]

Our yard is separated from a major freeway by a concrete wall. Every once in a while, someone crashes into the wall nearby and it makes a huge noise and shakes the house.

Someone just crashed. It sounded like a giant trunk lid being slammed right outside our back window. Made me jump, heh. Now I'm counting minutes until I hear sirens.

There's no break in the freeway wall and no way I could get there to help. Since it's rush hour, I'm sure someone out there is calling 911.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Happy Birthday B_Squared!

[Kitsa]

Oh, cool. Happy birthday :D

[Tadao]

http://www.tsuehpsyde.com/impossiblelego.gif

[Kitsa]

hee hee hee.

I am doing lots of cooking for tonight, but everyone is out of key ingredients so it's becoming an exercise in frustration.

Also, I learned that when you give your mother a novelty dogshit-shaped candy mold, you end up receiving gifts of dogshit-shaped candy. That should've been a no-brainer :/

[Tadao]

I'm great at replacing key ingredients with something from the back of the cupboard.

[Kitsa]

heh

Well, I've already had to swap out cream of chicken for cream of mushroom, which hopefully won't be too big a deal.

The cake I baked (the same way I always bake cake) came out with a tough, shiny top this time. Not sure what that's about. But I can cut the top off.

The rest of it..dunno, I'll improvise.

[Tadao]

Sounds like crystallized sugar. I think the cake might hold together better with a crust, but if it's 1/4 inch thick it would suck.

[Kitsa]

I used the reduced sugar pilsbury cake mix because I didn't have ingredients to make my usual recipe from scratch. I'm guessing it's that.

If the rest of the cake is okay, I'm all right with it. I can cut it off.

[b_squared]

Thank you 10K, Tadao, Kitsa.
Spent the day at Disneyland since they have a promotion to get in free on your birthday. Had a good time, but since its spring break here it was very busy.

[Kitsa]

I saw that commercial. That would be great if you were born on the same day as your triplets or something.

[Kitsa]

This is what happens when you give your mom a novelty poop-shaped chocolate mold (http://www.flavortools.com/xx555.html) as a gift.

It's filled with delicious peanut butter.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/dogpoo2.jpg

[Tadao]

I hope it has whole peanuts in there as well!

[Kitsa]

I told her she should have, but she didn't. The peanut butter shows through in spots, it's a similar effect.

[b_squared]

I have twin girls who I also signed up for the Disney b-day. That will save me some $.

choco butter poo...I dont know if I could get past the look to eat it.

[Kitsa]

Yeah, it's a great deal for multiples. I would've done it.

[Esuohlim]

A friend of mine got me to watch a couple episodes of Buffy tonight. I've never been so ashamed about liking a TV show in my life. :(

I was pretty ashamed about liking Stargate SG-1, but jesus christ.

[Aaarg]

so i'm moving to north carolina and i think i'm going to casually pick up smoking pot upon doing so.

[Dixie]

asheville is the right area for it.
lots of hippies there

[Kitsa]

Milhouse- you should watch the "musical" episode. I'm not saying I liked it, but I couldn't look away.

[MetalMilitia]

Welcome to the UK, leave your dignity at the door on the way in. (http://digg.com/d1oNQ6)

[Kitsa]

So it is true that the UK is coming close to eclipsing the "Ugly American" reputation abroad.

[Aaarg]

asheville is the right area for it.
lots of hippies there

yeah well it's not really an active choice, but i figure i'll be staying with j for a while. j smokes pot socially. why not join in?

[Tadao]

Welcome to the UK, leave your dignity at the door on the way in. (http://digg.com/d1oNQ6)

That's downtown San Francisco right there.

[Kitsa]

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/pearblossomssmall.jpg

I'm glad I didn't miss springtime this year.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Holy fucking shit. Indoor Lacrosse is the craziest thing I've been to in a while. Basically gang beatings with music playing the entire time. The announcer over the loud speaker can yell anything he wants at any time. During halftime they had two girls race each other in the Atlasphere from American Gladiators except they looked more like the bubble from bubble boy. Halfway through the race our mascot (The Buffalo Bandit....who kind looked like a racoon with a gringo mustache) came off the bench and did a flying shoulder tackle to the one girl. She was down, then Bandit went over to the other girl and got in her way so the first girl could catch up. Then right before the finish he went back to the first girl and missile drop kicked her bubble causing her to lose. Oh, and chearleaders during the quarters and sometimes for no reason at all. I might get season tickets for next year.

[Kitsa]

Sounds like fun.

Today's going to be a long day. I've carved out a little island for myself but that doesn't help much because the island has no bathroom :(

[Dry Ice Bombs]

all the children should stay away from drugs and the booze. and the yogurt. it's bad for you

[Esuohlim]

ESUOHLIM'S NERD-CRUSH OF THE MONTH™

ALYSON HANNIGAN (http://www.2flashgames.com/2fgkjn134kjlh1cfn81vc34/flash/f-Alyson-Hannigan-2659.jpg) :(

[Sam]

That silly Millhouse.

WILL HE EVER FIND LOVE? :rolleyes

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

ESUOHLIM'S NERD-CRUSH OF THE MONTH™

ALYSON HANNIGAN (http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/tree9148/Alyson_Hannigan.jpg) :(

I'd agree but I didn't see anything except



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[Esuohlim]

I SAW HER FIRST SAM >:

[Esuohlim]

I'd agree but I didn't see anything except



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YOU SIR ARE MISSING OUT. I MADE HER MY SEXY BACKGROUND FOR SEX :love

[MattJack]

man my delivery man is about to be here

to deliver weed

in your faces

[MattJack]

I spend my Saturday nights alone and high :(

[Kitsa]

I am in a guest house.

I feel like Kato Kaelin.

[MattJack]

gay?

[Kitsa]

something wrong with that?

[MattJack]

no I was asking if that's how you felt

[Kitsa]

Mainly just cold, because there's only a space heater in here and I'm afraid of it. Other than that it's pretty cool. Only thing it lacks is a bathroom :( Even has a fridge and exercise equipment.

[Sam]

ABOUT TO WITNESS A MURDER?

[Sam]

DEAR MILHOUSE BACKWARDS, IT IS NOT COOL TO JUST RANDOMLY SEND ME AIM MESSAGES TELLING ME HOW HIGH ON ACID YOU ARE. >:

NO WONDER YOU EAT 3 FUCKING PIZZAS IN ONE NIGHT.

[Esuohlim]

http://www.ezboard.com/images/emoticons/pimp.gif

[Sam]

:rolleyes

[Kitsa]

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0410093mugs12.html
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

[Babs]

IT'S TADAO!!!!

[Sam]

Is that Tadao? :(

[Kitsa]

Because he's giving a thumbs-up (I think), I'd prefer to believe it was Tadao whether it really is or not.

[Shrubfest]

I really hope it is. That's how I see him in my mind. It's just so right.

[Kitsa]

Tadao, we're going to need a yes or no on this one.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/tadao.jpg

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

That's totally him.




and Happy Birthday Phoenix Gamma! I hope your either getting drunk or still hungover.

[Tadao]

:eek

[Tadao]

http://www.zombiefriends.com/image/2160/gallery/opt_Zombie-Jesus-10-copy.jpg

[Chojin]

I think you're more likely to find Tadao on the federal sex offender registry.

[Tadao]

Why, did MLE press charges on me :(

[Kitsa]

It was mainly the thumbs up that sealed the deal for me.

THAT'S RIGHT, BRAH, TWO UNDERAGE CHICKS AT THE SAME TIME

[Tadao]

If you're gonna do time, at least enjoy the crime baby!

[Kitsa]

Apparently Marilyn Chambers just died.

Along with this unfortunate ad placement.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/marilynchambersadplacement.jpg

[Babs]

Tadao gives sex offense two thumbs up

[Tadao]

lolsburgers

HOLLY FUCK I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING WITTY!

[Sam]

I was just reading all of Achewood and when Roast Beef asked Molly to marry him I got all hella misty eyed. :(

[Kitsa]

Blago pleads not guilty at arraignment (http://www.nwi.com/articles/2009/04/14/updates/breaking_news/doc49e4b6d464f80921966230.txt)? What a surprise!

[Kitsa]

Another link for you:

My brother's friend screws up on the job, makes news (http://www.nwi.com/articles/2009/04/14/updates/breaking_news/doc49e4b647b8c7f060083711.txt)

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Ugghhhh. I drank half a bottle of Carlo Rosi Chablis and have trouble seeing straight right now.

[Kitsa]

Why such shitty wine?

[Kitsa]

Also I'm not 100% on this but I think my dog might have just given me a black eye.

She was playing on my bed and flailing around with her big sasquatch feet and nailed me with a claw on the right eyelid. Fortunately, I got my eye closed in time, but it has that deep-bruise feel.

And I have family in town tomorrow. Fun.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Hope your eye feels better.

I felt like getting a large amount of wine for not a lot of money. We played scene it and I remember how much I dislike that game.

[Tadao]

http://punditkitchen.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/political-pictures-vladimir-putin-whose-funeral.jpg

[Kitsa]

<3

Anyway, board games suck and I hate them and also they suck. You were better off drunk if you had to play one, I guess. When I go to hell, it will be filled with board games and over-cheery people wanting to play them.

I lost my temper with some flickr messages and now I'm making a(n?) FAQ that will probably alienate some people.

[Dixie]

I've learned some important things this week:
1-Gay men love kiwi green fingernails.
2-Mrs. Cunningham and Pinky Tuscadero's hair are top priority.
3-Beehive hair requires much more hairspray than I think I've ever owned in my life.
4-I still have no idea what the hell I'm doing.

[Tadao]

Next week I'm going in for an MRI to find out if I have claustrophobia.

[Dixie]

I don't have many positive experiences with MRI machines.
:(
I hope yours is better.

[Tadao]

It was a Steven Wright joke I just heard :)

[Dixie]

Ahhhhhh.
I don't know much about him.

[Tadao]

Rodney Dangerfield on Quaaludes.

[Dixie]

He's been good in the movies I saw him in (Wright I mean, everyone knows Rodney movies rule).


Speaking of Rodney Dangerfield. I saw a latina chick at Wal-Mart that looked JUST LIKE HIM.
Eyes and waistline. Fucking hideous beast.
She was riding one of those motorized scooters with a basket in the front around the store.
We got behind her in line and I thought nothing of it, maybe she has leg surgery or something.
I became distracted by shiny pink stuff on the end cap and turned away.
When I turned back around she was standing up buying athletic clothes.
A curiosity, indeed.
15 minutes later her basket was full of bags and ready to go.
Her card was declined.
What does she do?
She looks side to side, and then walks to the back of the store, leaving the full basket and the motorized scooter/wheelchair blocking the entire checkout lane.

I hope to see her again one day at 2AM in Wal-Mart, mostly so I can stalk her and take pictures of her.

[Tadao]

Wow, I should get out of the house more. I just might feel better about myself running into these people. I'm just afraid that I have become my online personality and say or do something I will be arrested for.

[Dixie]

Wal-Marts should always make you feel better about yourself.

Sometimes, really late at night, we see midgets there.
It's totally awesome.

[Dixie]

My face is like a leaky faucet.
I hate pollen.

[Tadao]

I would soooooo suck the snot out of your nose.

[Kitsa]

Next week I'm going in for an MRI to find out if I have claustrophobia.


good god I can't be the only one who got that.

I advise against open MRI, if they try to steer you in that direction. It's just as bad, only upright (chair wedged inbetween 2 big disks). Also, it's about $1000 more.

[Tadao]

I'd love to have an MRI. I always hope to find a reason beyond my control for my actions.

[Tadao]

http://www.i-mockery.com/shorts/flamingcarrot/2.jpg

You make a wonderful Nazi!

[The Leader]

Sometimes, really late at night, we see midgets there.
We don't like being out in the open during the day, too many birds of prey.

[Colonel Flagg]

good god I can't be the only one who got that.

Nah, me too.

I had an MRI about 14 years ago - it was OK space-wise, but was LOUD - kind of like being in a steel can while a slow jackhammer was pounding away at the outside. Ouch.

[Big McLargehuge]

I have had dozens of MRI's and have to have one every year. You get used to them, i can even fall asleep in one.

[Kitsa]

I have as few as three or four and as many as six or seven a year. I used to think it sounded like pots and pans in a dryer, but now it sounds more like a Buck Rogers-style ray gun fight going on in there.

You never need to move, breathe or swallow until they tell you that you can't.

[MetalMilitia]

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/_pkRqbxDTcw&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/_pkRqbxDTcw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

[Shrubfest]

Mmmm, clever...
Wonder how much that cost to fix?

[Kitsa]

Yes, it's long and loud and yes, the MRI contrast may or may not turn out to kill your kidneys, but it's still better than having a CT or PET and getting radiated.

[Esuohlim]

I sure seem to be getting a lot of banner ads with a woman on a toilet here

[MetalMilitia]

Reading a lot of Jeanette threads recently?

[Dimnos]

I sure seem to be getting a lot of banner ads with a woman on a toilet here

She could probably do her business if she pulled her pants down. :\

[Dimnos]

Yes, it's long and loud and yes, the MRI contrast may or may not turn out to kill your kidneys, but it's still better than having a CT or PET and getting radiated.

EEG :x

[Chojin]

http://c3.openx.org/191cd4ed8652c77fde24f87382cad65c.gif

[Tadao]

http://c3.openx.org/78c4ea3deb75e69d9e75aa5baa35ff30.gif

[Kitsa]

EEGs are meh.

I had an EMG last year when they thought I had permanent nerve damage from a botched spinal block. That was the fourth suckiest test I've ever experienced*, and I've experienced the biggies.

I knew I was in trouble when the doctor administering the test (red flag- when a doctor administers a test and doesn't trust a lesser clinician, expect bad things) walked in reading the instruction manual. Then he explained, as he prepped the four inch needles that were to go in "as deep as they need to", that he needed to guess where my femoral artery was because he wouldn't be able to stop the bleed if he impaled it, meaning I might bleed to death.

The needles are supposed to act as radio transmitters, reading electrical impulses through the muscles. Either he jabbed a nerve, or I got shocked by the machine, or something, because the sensation was pretty fucking horrible.

The physician who ordered the test said it's referred to as "the attitude adjuster".

*distant fourth behind aforementioned botched spinal, during which I thought the inept anesthesiologist might actually paralyze or kill me, a bone marrow aspiration with no anesthesia and a lingual thyroid biopsy with no anesthesia, during which I choked on my own blood and had to be suctioned, then was physically unable to leave the room of my own volition and had to be wheeled back to the doctor's office, where I spent an hour or so in the fetal position.

[Womti]

hey guys what happened to the 2008 mock wars tournament

[Esuohlim]

Apparently ridiculing a person's possible sexual orientation and implying that he plays with Polly Pocket is a private messagable offense around here these days

[Esuohlim]

hey guys what happened to the 2008 mock wars tournament

hey what happened your permanent legal place of residence

[Womti]

no really what happened where did it go

[Mockery]

Hey guys, anybody seen Zomboid around lately? Just wondering why he hasn't been posting much. :picklehat

[Zomboid]

Hey guys, anybody seen Zomboid around lately? Just wondering why he hasn't been posting much. :picklehat

I've been busy making cardboard chapeaus that resemble vegetables and writing letters of praise to you.

[Womti]

oh CRAP :chatter

[Zomboid]

Told ya!

[Mockery]

Oh hey! He's back! Welcome back Zomboid! Good to see ya! It's been too long! :picklehat

[Zomboid]

Hey -RoG-!

I really liked your latest piece on that thing from the 80s. You know the one - it had animated gifs.

[Womti]

blecch

[Mockery]

Thanks! I really liked your latest post about my latest piece from the 80s. But you know what could've made your post even better? Animated gifs. :picklehat

[Zomboid]

I concur. Unfortunately, I have to go off to a final at school. Boy, it'll sure be hard to concentrate now that I have all those wacky animated gifs stuck in my head :lol

[Mockery]

Here's two for the road!

http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/freddys-nightmares2/9.gif http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/freddys-nightmares2/10.gif

[Evil Robot]

i love carpet

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I played some hybrid of beer pong and flip cup called flong last night. It wasn't groundbreaking but it was nice to try something new.

[Misdemonar]

GR8 TO HEAR

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

MANTIS ALWAYS HAS TO PIPE IN.

[Tadao]

To bad he doesn't pass it.

[Misdemonar]

PASS WHAT

[Kitsa]

THE PIPE

[Tadao]

OR A SECOND GRADE COMPREHENSION TEST

[Misdemonar]

I DIDN'T GO TO SCHOOL YOU FUCKING DICK

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

WHERE DID YOU GO, THE CIRCUS?

[Misdemonar]

I WENT TO ROCK N ROLL HIGHSCHOOL

[Tadao]

NO, YOU WENT TO COCK IN HOLE GAYSCHOOL

[Misdemonar]

THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK

[Misdemonar]

I AM A GOD

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

YOU ARE A DOG

[MetalMilitia]

Last night I went out for a friends birthday got completely wasted (tequila was involved) then tried to walk home - a distance of probably 10+ miles at 4am. During this trip some twat fitting my description robbed a news agent which I must've passed at some point because a sniffer dog tracked me for an hour before I was eventually found by a police car and interrogated (I say interrogated, they asked for ID and that's about all I remember). I think they realised that I was physically incapable of robbing anyone and left me to continue the walk/stagger home.

Funny thing is my description - which was supposedly the same as the robber's - was as follows: cammo shorts and and an amusing cat t-shirt from StuffOnMyCat.com.
I find it quite difficult to believe anyone else within many hundred miles would be wearing this combination of things being that it was a fucking cold morning.

I almost made it home but by about 7am I was so miserable I phoned my girlfriend and begged her to pick me up. It was either that of go to sleep on a bench by this point.

[Asila]

What the fuck is going on in here?

[Asila]

Do you like how I said that as if I hadn't just read the last 10 pages in mounting confusion?

[DevilWearsPrada]

You didn't say shit >:

[Asila]

<3

[Tadao]

What's shakin baby?

[Shrubfest]

Oh my god. What's with the 2 pages of crap about shoes?
Invasion!

[Tadao]

Asila brought them from her other forums :(

[Shrubfest]

Criky. She hangs with the wrong crowd, obviously!

[Tadao]

She's one of those shoe fetish people.

[Mockery]

Oh my god. What's with the 2 pages of crap about shoes?
Invasion!
And with but one click o' the mouse, they were all deleted in an instant. :picklehat

[Sam]

YOU KNOW THE LADIES WERE ALL EXCITED ABOUT THE CHANCE TO BUY ALL THOSE SHOES. :rolleyes

[MarioRPG]

So my power unit busted in my computer about 6 days ago. :(
I've been crying nightly.

[Asila]

Asila brought them from her other forums :(
Damn, that makes it sound like I have a posse.

[Zhukov]

I can't believe you robbed a newsagent and didn't remember it. What did you get? Cash or chewing gum?

[Womti]

GUYS WHERE THE HOLY MOTHER FUCKING HELL IS GUITAR WOMAN

[Womti]

ALSO UH GUYS I THINK GABBY GAGA MAY HAVE BEEN LADY GAGA IN DISGUISE

[Womti]

HOLEEEEEE SHIT PAGE BREAK

[Womti]

ok i think i'll stop with all the caps lock now

[Dixie]

Shut up, Guitar Woman.

[Evil Robot]

PASSGAGES OF MALIBU

[Aaarg]

there was a snake in my store at 3:30 this morning. i'm no herpetologist by any means but i would be willing to bet that it was a corn snake.

i totally wanted to keep it, but i was 30 minutes into an eight-hour shift and would have had to quickly find something to keep it in until going home.

[Tadao]

i'm no herpetologist by any means

I'm sure your ex could tell you.

[Aaarg]

Oh I get it you're talking about herpes.

[Tadao]

or trouser snakes, it was a double whammy.

[Evil Robot]

A freind of mine is a herpetologist and the jokes NEVER get old.

[Lenor]

I haven't drank in day's.. it's just wrong... seriously guys, Seriously!

I need some sleep ...

[Kitsa]

Perhaps it was stupid of me to assume that when our state's only NHL team is in the Stanley Cup playoffs for the first time ever, one of the many cable sports channels we pay for would carry the game.

I mean, that's just being completely unreasonable, right? :rolleyes

It's not like they're not showing any hockey...just in lieu of what I'd really LIKE to see, they're showing the Flyers-Penguins game. I was looking forward to the Jackets game all day.

KITSA SMAAAASSSSHHHH.

>:

[Tadao]

Wow that sucks, I wonder if you can find a live feed on your computer.

[Kitsa]

just audio.

[Colonel Flagg]

Judging how the first period played out, you might be better off not watching. :(

:sports

[Kitsa]

Which is why I'm all the more pissed that they threw out a token "Well, we'll show game 5".

Like we'll fucking get to fucking game 5.

[Colonel Flagg]

Fuck. Wings just scored. Again.

[Kitsa]

:(

[The Leader]

:)

[liquidstatik]

..

[Asila]

HAHA I WENT TO CHECK AN IP ADDRESS AND REALISED I COULDN'T DO IT ON THIS BOARD HAHA ISN'T THAT INTERESTING?

[Tadao]

That's creepy

[Pub Lover]

Danny, stop pretending to be a mod, or I'll have to ban you again! >:

[liquidstatik]

..

[Esuohlim]

:(

:lol

Have you earned your red wings yet? :eek

[Pub Lover]

:pagebrak
Jarvis, I didn't know you still posted here. I'm gonna need you to cut it out, this place is for homos now.

Only the grave will rob this board of my constant musings on the wonderful taste of penis.

[liquidstatik]

..

[Evil Robot]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Graves

[Tadao]

Fuck I'm bored

[Babs]

Board, I'm fucked.

[MetalMilitia]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Graves

I read his book - Goodbye to all that - the other day. It's quite good.

[Lenor]

Super... I just need a bottle of jack now to process how pub apparently likes to rob graves for penis's...

[Tadao]

Please remember to sleep face up.

[Kitsa]

Where is ZQ? I miss ZQ.

[Pub Lover]

Did you chase her off when you suggested that you wanted to piss on her flower garden?

[Aaarg]

I love getting free shit. I now own a pack cover.

[Dixie]

Tomorrow I shall have a great bouffant.
Complete with Dollar Tree hibiscus hair clips.
I wish I had some pants with pink flamingos on them.

[Aaarg]

Anything is possible.

[Tadao]

OMG CIG, That is soo Peg Bundy Hawt!

[Dixie]

I'm totally going Peggy Bundy.
I practiced the bouffant earlier, it's gonna be great.

[Kitsa]

I suggested that you-all were pissing on the flower garden. And you were/are.

[Dixie]

http://www.spotcrime.com/
I've been looking up my friends addresses to see when and why the cops came to their houses.
I love that site.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I like the icons for the different crimes. It looks like nearby we have a lot of Hamburglers, Fist pounds and jaywalking. Little further away there are a bunch of Target stores.

[Aaarg]

Damn, it doesn't go back far enough for my sister's 4 assault charges in one night!

However, apparently somebody was arrested last month in the parking lot of my work for having a stolen card, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and sodomy!

[Kitsa]

Bummer, Ohio is poorly represented :(

Dayon is shitpacked with crime, but they only have a ritzy-ish suburb (Kettering, or at least the Oakwood part of it).

[WhiteRat]

My roommate bought a brand new boat and while we were enjoying the smooth waters of Choctawhatchee Bay we saw three dolphins breaching the water. I raised my beer in salute of these great dolphins.

[executioneer]

goddamn that website is full of gold

first dang thing i clicked:
A Garfield student had left school and was walking to the bus stop adjacent to Ezells when a female acquaintance got off the bus at ran over to her yelling "I am going to mash you out! I'm going to put you out the box!" The victim translated this to mean that a fight was brewing, which was confirmed when the assailant took a number of swings at the victim, but failed to land any punches and eventually acceded to a request to "stop the crazyness". The victim explained to the officer that she and the suspect had been on the outs since the victim questioned the virility of the father of the suspect's baby, implying that he may have future reproductive difficulties due to the fact that he had been "shot in the genital area".

[Zhukov]

Damn, Hobart is not on their list.

Someone stole a VCR on Tuesday, that would have probably been on the map if we had one.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

I checked out Detroit and according to this site the crime isn't that bad. Then I checked out Cleveland, OH.

http://www.spotcrime.com/oh/cleveland

:lol

[Sam]

I'm getting ready to go golfing with my friends because they told me there would be beer there. :(

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

That's really the only reason to go golfing. Have fun Get drunk

[Sam]

It's only 9 now, so I should be able to get pretty shitty well before noon.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Just take a drink every time someone swings. Depending on how many people are playing you should get a good buzz pretty soon.

[Tadao]

Sams getting drunk and playing with his friends little balls.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Happy Birthday Jeanette too.

Now I have a predicament. I was just invited to a b-day party for a friend of a friend. My good friend just told me he's going out for his birthday tonight and I'm also supposed to go hang out with this girl I met on monday.

I was kinda blitzed on monday though so I would have to re-meet her.

[Tadao]

Whats the predicament?

Happy BDAY Janey!

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

One party is at 7pm, the other starts at 9pm which coincidentally is next door so I can easily do the Buffalo Shuffle between the two but this girl gets out at 10 and I don't want to be sloshed by then. Especially if she wants to go out somewhere.

[Tadao]

Lol, tell her you have 2 birthday parties and have her meet you there. You are well in your rights to be drunk as fuck.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

Just talked to her, the bar she wants to meet at is 4 streets down from the first two places. I have 255 in my personal luck stat but usually it doesn't work that well ahead of time.

I just want to see how it's going to mess up. I'm taking bets.

The only thing that I remember about her is that she's a swinger that got out of a 6 year relationship and her ex boyfriend cheated on her. I was like "Really, but you had an open relationship?"

:lol Women.

[Tadao]

You are gonna stick t in her butt tonight. That is my bet.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

That's the goal.

[Jeanette X]

*blows noisemaker*

Thanks guys! Happy Birthday to me! :)

[Dixie]

Happy Birthday to you birthday people
imgonnagogetfuckdupyo
CHOW

[Kitsa]

happy birthday / getting fucked up/ sticking things in things.

[Tadao]

http://www.rockpapercynic.com/strips/2009-03-16.gif

[Dixie]

http://blog.turntablelab.com/images/l_7208befcb6dd9cb486ac338906d9287f.jpg

[Dixie]

DUDE!
I totally look like Bea Arthur in my zombie pic.
Side by side comparison!

[Kitsa]

A few years ago someone with a Bea Arthur myspace account added me out of the blue. I had no idea who they really were or how I knew them, but whoever-it-was was nice and left comments for me from time to time. They stopped about a year ago, but they're still on my friends list.

I didn't know what else to do so I left one of those sympathy graphics in their comments.

[Seven Force]

hahaha you're friends with an ol' bitch

[Seven Force]

my friends list is DADS ONLY

[Kitsa]

I went to a funeral today.

Now, I've seen some wacky tasteless funeral shit before, but this has to win some sort of award.

There was a woman who was slurping slowly on a Big Gulp as she peered into the coffin.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn199/kitsa_for_imockery/Big-gulp.jpg

[Tadao]

OH SHIT! That's why phones have cameras.

[Kitsa]

Well, the widow was talking to me at the time, I just happened to glance over. If I'd said "hold on" and whipped out a phone/camera, I guess I would have been just as bad.

[Pub Lover]

I want the Japanese Jack Daniels! My wife hated my old Jack shirt and it wound up in the dumpster. :(

She just liked seeing you with your shirt off. :love

[Tadao]

But the chances of a trifecta would have been in play and it would be a funeral worthy of the gods!