I-Mockery Chat (Lube up those lips)

[Esuohlim]

I saw willie... on the something awful brony article.

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/awfulvision/the-brony-barn.php?page=9

yep

[Zomboid]

Getting a job after graduation is hard. I've had two interviews so far and (obviously) didn't get either, and it seems like most of the job openings require years of experience in the field. Fucking hell.

[Fathom Zero]

I'm keenly aware of that, as well. But there's always oil up yonder, right?

If things don't work out immediately, I wanted to get a little job doing whatever, flipping burgers and such, and go to a vocational school. Maybe that would be worth looking into.

[Shrubfest]

I have navigated the problem of not getting any of the jobs applied for after graduation by not really applying for any.

You'd be surprised how not-depressing this method is.

[Tadao]

You didn't apply for them, so how can you say that you applied for them?

[Fathom Zero]

She isn't disappointed by the lack of jobs she didn't apply for.

[Zomboid]

Yeah, I've tried to avoid that by only applying for jobs that I'd actually want. Well, one of the jobs I actually wanted, and another that I was referred to, so I sorta had to go through with the application and interview, even though I knew it would not be a good fit.

But you have a maaaaan to support you, Shrub. I need to get a sugar mama.

[Shrubfest]

Oh no, man is enraged by my job-seeking apathy. I get lectures daily.

He also works from home so he can judge my wastoid lifestyle EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY.
Still less depressing than job hunting.

[Aaarg]

fuck, dude, i want to work from home

i also want to keep my sugarmama

[Zomboid]

I think the obvious solution here is Milhouse and I moving to the UK and the three of us can start a conglomerate.

[Shrubfest]

Or a commune.

[kahljorn]

guys i just got fired cuz i told someone they were eating poopcorn cause they were eating popcorn out of toilet paper

[Pub Lover]

Just had a google hangout with Fartin. He said I should leave the house. I cried on camera.

[Ex Leper]

Just won the Michael Jackson mask (http://www.i-mockery.com/halloween/bag/wacko-jacko.php)

[Tadao]

Just had a google hangout with Fartin. He said I should leave the house. I cried on camera.

But if you go outside how are we gonna see you cry?

[Zomboid]

Pretty sure I just got a booty call. Girl is on her way over now. WHO KNOWS WHERE THIS WILL LEAD.

[Esuohlim]

Zomboid was murdered last night, everyone

[Zomboid]

I wish, braw! What a sexy way to go--killed by an angry lady. I am so fucking tired today. We were up until like 6:30-7, and then I slept until right before my mom called to tell me she was about an hour away and on her way for Thanksgiving. Then, assuming my mom actually meant an hour, we sorta just watched TV and mom showed up early and got to say hi to the girl on her way out. This girl is also one of my sister's best friends.

I'm gonna rush everyone outta here after the meal and powersleep.

[k0k0]

I thought you were fucking around about thanksgiving, but nope...canadian thanksgiving. Didn't know canadians had thanksgiving. And so you got your booty called?

[Tadao]

What do Canadians have to be thankful for?

[darkvare]

existing thanks to the english not caring about owning canada... wait that's the quebecoises

[Zomboid]

I don't even know. It's just sort of there. Hard to give a real shit about it.

[Kitsa]

All I can call to mind about Canadian Thanksgiving is Red Green shooting dinner rolls out of an exhaust pipe and scraping mashed potatoes out of hubcaps.

[Babs]

I really miss you guys a lot, I've been too depressed to do anything. This took to much effort.

[Fathom Zero]

I think I'm bombing in my last French class. I've missed too many critical days because of personal reasons. As such, I'm probably going to have to withdraw and eat the few hundred dollars. :|

There's always next semester, though. Gotta keep your chin up, y'know. English Lit classes couldn't be easier, however, so there's always that.

:school

[zeldasbiggestfan]

I think I'm bombing in my last French class. I've missed too many critical days because of personal reasons. As such, I'm probably going to have to withdraw and eat the few hundred dollars. :|

There's always next semester, though. Gotta keep your chin up, y'know. English Lit classes couldn't be easier, however, so there's always that.

:school
Youtube is awesome for free lessons online.

On another note, I will be working my 3rd Thanksgiving in a row thanks to this awesome country club I work at. :( Who else works holidays? Makes me sad.

[LordSappington]

My friend decided to play "Is This Acid?" with me. I guess I won.

[Shrubfest]

Fuck. I woke up this morning to discover husband has arranged a bunch of house viewings. I was unaware we were moving.

[Kitsa]

I woke up with what definitely feels like arthritis in my big toe. I can't ever remember breaking that toe, and from what I know the vegetarian rate of gout is pretty low, so I'm just sort of sitting here with my coffee mystified.

It doesn't really hurt that much, it just seems out of place.

@FZ- I once got an undergrad award for "Achievement in French" and then the very next day got a letter from the University that I was on Academic Probation for never going to French class. Figure that one out.

[Kitsa]

Also, I think this might only work in the States, but Lindt Truffles is giving away a million free bags on facebook today. You like their facebook and print a voucher. https://www.facebook.com/LindtChocolate/app_182968635067837

[k0k0]

How to tell you're old: You got toe arthritis and sign up for free truffles.

I kid...I get a back ache from just standing around too long.

[Kitsa]

For me getting old is a pretty big accomplishment, so I'll take the arthritis. And hell, I'm not turning down any free chocolate, especially if I'm 99% sure there are no roofies in it this time.

[Fathom Zero]

needs more roofies

[darkvare]

i speak french i had to learn while i lived in quebec

[Kitsa]

Spanish and French are basically the same thing with different accents. Learn Latin and you pretty much have the whole set.

[Fathom Zero]

darkvare comes from a long line of migrant workers and resident evil fans

[Tadao]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/49/Welcome_to_Mexico..._Asshole.jpg/220px-Welcome_to_Mexico..._Asshole.jpg

[Babs]

http://www2u.biglobe.ne.jp/~i1010n/image/LWO.gif

[Colonel Flagg]

Fuck. I woke up this morning to discover husband has arranged a bunch of house viewings. I was unaware we were moving.

Maybe you were drunk when you agreed to the concept. I find this is the reason I agree to do lots of things ...

Just a thought.

[Kitsa]

That happens. Mr Kitsa got drunk and bought tickets to a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert once, then insisted I go. That was 6 years ago and I have yet to forgive him.

[Babs]

IS THAT HOW YOU PROCREATED

[Shrubfest]

I've become too much of a miserable recluse to be drunk. So no, he just decided for us. Today's house was nice though.

[Zomboid]

Yeah, I pretty much just take my dog to the dog park and spend the rest of the day being an angry jerk, safe inside my home.

[Babs]

Going outside is for the birds.

[Shrubfest]

I wish I had a dog for the exercise and fresh air factor. Cat is no use, he's only recently become cat weight after being obese for 10 years. Alas, there are also no dog walking places looking for new walkers either.

[Kitsa]

According to the movies and TV, every street in the UK is one short, charming little row of houses with a shop, letterbox and newspaper box at the end. Under these circumstances, walks must be delightful :europenotatalllikemovies

[Babs]

I'm shitting out straight dayquil

[Aaarg]

i have to drive somewhere to take the dog for a walk, or other peoples' dogs will bark at us constantly and several will probably come attack my dog because these rednecks don't leash or fence their pets

which would be a bit more reasonable if they didn't live within 15 feet of a goddamn road

[Tadao]

Your dog probably walks like he owns the world.

[Kitsa]

We can't put our dog out in the backyard because the people on either side of us have 3 dogs apiece and they go nuts. The neighbors on one side at least yell for their dogs to shut up, but the one on the other just lets them yap, or worse lets them jump through holes in the fence and come bite us.

[Fathom Zero]

That's when you get to shoot those dogs.

[Tadao]

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/thl/lowres/thln47l.jpg

[Tadao]

76qPMv1tCfI

FZ LOOKS LIKE ENO :eek :wank :yum

[Fathom Zero]

i've more face hairs

[Tadao]

I highly doubt that

[Fathom Zero]

you can't see them because blond facial hair

[Zomboid]

I have to walk my dog a block to the dog park, and then I let him off-leash to run around and play with the other dogs. :D

[Shrubfest]

I live in farmland. There's fields, then a wood, then a golf course, then the moors. Ideal dog-walking land. But no dog.

[Zomboid]

STAY OFF THE MOORS!
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bknrdAxi5sE/T1GGtG-nTRI/AAAAAAAAGV4/a1aPssnieIU/s1600/Stay+Off+The+Moors.jpg

[Tadao]

I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL PLACE TO WALK A DOG BUT I DON'T HAVE A DOG, HOW CAN I FIX THIS?

:rolleyes

[Zomboid]

Yeah, really. If I lived in a place like that, I'd get, like, eight Irish wolfhounds.

[Tadao]

or move to places that are not dog friendly

[Tadao]

Is there a decent Metal thread? Because I'm all metal today

[darkvare]

i had a pitbull terrier my dad got as a gift from one of his students, he was sweet and friendly with people but a real killer with other dogs and i mean he killed other dogs i used to walk him but with a guard so he couldn't bite other dogs cause if he did he wouldn't let go until they were dead

[Fathom Zero]

Is there a decent Metal thread? Because I'm all metal today

http://i-mockery.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69708790

[k0k0]

I had an awesome pig but the douche neighbor behind us had a dog that kept chewing through the fence to come harass her. His dog ended up getting some kind of staph infection and he thought it was due to it interacting with the pig. I kissed the damn pig daily and I was fine. I think he just had a dirty ass fence chewing dog. Anyway, I took her to a farm that had other pot bellied pigs for her to mate with. I ordinarily wouldn't succumb to the douche neighbor's demands, but he threatened to get the cops involved saying that my pig was illegal or whatever. I don't really know the laws about keeping one in the city and his dog was all jacked up, so I was pressured to give her away.

[Shrubfest]

My house is too small and my husband to grumpy for a dog. I could get a pig though!

Koko, what do you feed a pig? And how much space do they need?

[k0k0]

I fed her hog or horse feed. You don't want to get "starter" feed. And no matter what the person selling you the piggy tells you, the pig will get big. Mine got over 100 pounds even though she was as tall as a medium sized dog. And I actually just had a house and kept her in the house with me a lot of the time. She only went outside to dig around and play. I couldn't potty train her not to go to the bathroom inside, but I did get her to only go in one particular corner, where I put a ferret type corner litter box. So really, I just had a 3 bedroom house and a small to regular size yard and she enjoyed it. Where she's at now, there's a lot more room. I was going up and seeing her every few months until she stopped really responding to my visits since it'd been so long. But they're great pets. They're a whole lot like dogs. Just snortier.

[Shrubfest]

"Like dogs, but snortier". Best pet description ever.

I'm also considering a sheep, as I've just learned how to spin yarn, so I could have a whole production line of wool.

(Also, none of this will happen. I will just have cats forever. Fat, miserable cats.)

[k0k0]

Here's a picture of her at one year or so.

http://i.imgur.com/0jlKy.jpg

I never had a sheep, but I had a goat. I'm sure they're completely different, but the goat was mean to everyone but me. And once he got his horns, he would head butt anyone who wasn't me. Good for protection, but not for roommates.

[Dimnos]

Damn that thing is ugly.

[Tadao]

I hear pigs are great pets, so are skunks.

[Dimnos]

I want one of those anteaters; so it can shit on everything. Also, I already have a pig. (http://www.sheplers.com/catalog/search.cmd?form_state=searchForm&keyword=pigskin&go=&Gender-RefIds=10647)

[Otto]

My fat tub of a dog freaks out and chases every dog that comes to the fence back and forth, he also has a heart condition that gets aggravated by this, and makes him all dizzy and vomit-y.

Ugh, he's like taking care of a retarded war veteran. HOLY FUUUUUCK MY DOG IS COTTON HILL! He's even got stumpy legs!

[MarioRPG]

k0k0, that pig is totally boss and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If I had the chance to get a pig... I'd consider it. Although I'd prefer them to stay piglet size as that is when they are at their most cute.

In other news, I ran a marathon today. Sometime I will post a picture in that there picture thread if / when they get posted!

[Dimnos]

UGLY CAN BE BOSS! >:

[Fathom Zero]

I laid the smackdown on some gay dudes today

[Tadao]

Did you guys hug it out?

[Fathom Zero]

We had an internet argument and they picked up their proverbial toys and left.

Wish I could've hugged them.

[Esuohlim]

Why would you go somewhere else when i-mock has all the gay internet dudes you'll ever need to fight with

[Esuohlim]

If I wanted to see gay dudes argue I would've watched the debates tonight :LOL

[Sam]

EXACTLY.

[Fathom Zero]

HELLO EXACTLY

http://i.imgur.com/LkB4Z.jpg

[Tadao]

BREAKING BAD WOULD HAVE A DECENT ENDING IF MCCAIN WAS PRESIDENT

[Aaarg]

one of our tarantulas molted. cuuuuute.

[Colonel Flagg]

BREAKING BAD WOULD HAVE A DECENT ENDING IF MCCAIN WAS PRESIDENT

For a minute there I thought you were talking about McClain. :(

[Tadao]

Well that's just George Bush Jr. on coke.

[Kitsa]

I'm having a shitty day.

First, some asshat stole my credit card number and tried to buy cruise tickets with it.

Then, the asshat next door drove his van through my yard again and hit a gas line.

As the grand finale, I went to the dentist and my asshat radiated molar needs a root canal.

[Tadao]

on a happy note


i feel great now

[Tadao]

Kitsa, do you have a doomsday kit ready for your doooogy? I have one. You better have one. :frownyface

[Kitsa]

I'm like the less-slobby, less-crazy version of a couponer, so I have like 10 bags of dogfood and 20 boxes of dog treats in my garage at any given time. Is that what you mean?

I'm not going to worry about the apocalypse. The world could end for me at any time. But then, I never studied for tests either.

[Tadao]

That and flea medication :eek THE PLAGUE

[Kitsa]

Frontline is fucking expensive. I generally have a three month supply of that and heartworm stuff on hand.

[Kitsa]

As an aside, I've begun to wonder how people get by at all without coupons. It took a bit of a running start, but I now turn up my nose at things that aren't free or nearly free. I can even provide for three households- for $5 today, I got my mom 4 lbs of hot dogs (they freeze), 2 packages of toilet paper, 4 toothbrushes, some ramen noodles and some other stuff I can't remember.

[Tadao]

Funny thing. When I went gluten free, I found out my coupons did not reflect my lifestyle. Now granted, it's a hard life choice, but my no longer have to eat antacids mixed with nexium. So yeah, iI think I'm off wheat until I can digest it. Oh and trust me, I test it with Tommy's burgers and Ritz crackers and every fucking time I feel the pain.

Anyways. I cancelled my sunday coupon paper after 2 months of gluten free. When it comes to ass wipe, it's a matter of pennies. You have a baby and I'm sure that plays a HUGE part of the savings.

[Tadao]

Oh and let me just nip this in the nigg3r.

Babs, you are supposedly a grad from a medical university. Ragging on someone getting off of drugs because all they have to do is not eat gluten, well it shows why you are no longer employed at a pharmacy. That sad excuse of trying to over medicate MLE for high inflammation? You are laughable musically, theatrical, and in any professional study of medicine.

No wonder your trailer bitch loves to punch you.

[Kitsa]

There's tons of coupons for gluten-free shit, and much of it you don't need a newspaper for. You can print or use a clipping service. I'm a vegan and I coupon just fine.

Coupons have saved me money on everything from landscaping stones to detergent to prescriptions to a washing machine.

I must have missed the whole Babs thing.

[Babs]

He's right, it's old news that I told everyone. Go to the loveline part of the forum and read it.

[Babs]

AND IT WAS ETODOLAC

[Babs]

AND I MAKE MORE MONEY AS A PAINTER NOW AND I STILL REGRET IT

[Tadao]

You have regrets? How surprising!

[Dimnos]

Canning a pharmacy tech for pushing meds? That's just not American! > :

[Zomboid]

Whenever I feel upset, I come here, read some posts from someone like Babs, and feel better. Life's really not that bad!

Edit: For me. Life's not that bad for me. It sounds shitty for a few of you (Babs).

[Kitsa]

i thought babs was a phlebotomist?

[Babs]

I'm certified in both actually, and no, I'm not making that up. I worked at labcorp for awhile which wasn't bad at all except it was heart breaking doing sticks to the older patients because they were inaudible and would grunt in fear but I guess you would too if some one like babs, a piece of shit, was taking your blood as well.

[Aaarg]

i think it all depends on where he's taking my blood, really.

[Fathom Zero]

yr dck

[zeldasbiggestfan]

At least babs isn't zbf, right guys?

[Tadao]

who cares

[Babs]

I thought it was atleast I'm not womti.

[Tadao]

THIS IS RAPE VIA MUSIC

6kMLQhJr6v8

[Babs]

Now make it into dubstep.

[Tadao]

Babs, have you tried Bath Salt or Heroin? I think it's an option for you.

[Babs]

have you ever tried starving?

XjNjJR9jUGo

[Dimnos]

I always took Babs to be the kind of guy who took turns between huffing paint and gas.

[Babs]

Nah just to much television

[Zomboid]

This is from a few weeks ago. This girl was sitting on the curb outside the bar on the busiest street in the city, and I drunkenly thought it'd be funny to do muscle man poses behind her. This is when she discovered me. She was totally game for it, though, which was weird.
http://i46.tinypic.com/29g1hes.jpg

[TheNunEater]

So did you get lucky. Though I'm not to sure getting with a random drunk curb woman would be considered lucky. It might however be considered a lounging STD in a red dress.

[Zomboid]

Uh, no. I'm often really stupid when it comes to safe sex, but that would've been spitting in the face of fate...or something.

[Babs]

Looks like meg white.

[TheNunEater]

Though I don't know why feel the need, I have to know what's on your shirt. Again, I have no fucking clue why I care, maybe because of my love for t-shirts.

[Zomboid]

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxlrebrIwf1qbwpmoo1_500.jpg

[Fathom Zero]

I've added Do Gaeshi to my repertoire.

[Shrubfest]

My provisional drivers licence arrived today. Now I have to learn to drive.

[TheNunEater]

Holy shit dude, that is such a badass shirt. I thought it looked like a nes box cover, but I would have never guessed it to be a Game of Thrones refrence. I need that fucking shirt. I'm going to search amazon for it right now.

[Nick]

http://i.imgur.com/WtF5o.jpg
Neat.

[TheNunEater]

Is this available as a poster yet? It's fucking amazing and I need to be able to add it to the collection . I love all the Adventure Time characters.

[Nick]

This wasn't made by I-mockery, so I doubt it. Try the creators website.

[Babs]

Fuck adventure time.

[Dimnos]

Baloonie!

[Nick]

Fuck adventure time.
http://i.imgur.com/3bZKY.jpg
Fuck you.

[Babs]

Fuck you and your FAS features.

[Babs]

Fucking aspie.

[Fathom Zero]

Coke floats in my cup, Coke floats in my cup

[Aaarg]

last night i watched three pairs of wolf spiders making sex.

spider sex is silly.

[Shrubfest]

Well shit.

I just confirmed that all the people I hated from my degree have decided to move back here permanently.
How utterly revolting.
How delightfully hypocritical.

I am genuinely angry.

[Zomboid]

Ha! I blocked off all contact with pretty much everyone that I went to school with. Maybe you can kill them?

[Kitsa]

I rather enjoyed George Takei until every single person on Facebook started quoting him like it was the Word of God.

That made me feel like I was saying I liked him before it was cool, which triggered this whole cascade effect of self-loathing.

[Babs]

hipster with the baby blues WTF

[Babs]

WAKE UP THE RIVALRY

[Nick]

http://i.imgur.com/IXOzR.jpg
Mom said it's my turn to play

[Babs]

lol im nick n i wunna b ROG

lol bet you clicked this because you're an aspie

LOL YOU CLICKED IT AGAIN YOU FUCKING WASTE

[Nick]

Hah

[Fathom Zero]

I think the only proper way for this to end would be you two killing each other.

[Tadao]

or at least learn how to do multiple spoilers.

:rolleyes
:rolleyes

[Babs]

It's not supposed to work, its for the hemorrhoid to keep clicking it. :x

[Tadao]

OH HOW I WISH I COULD BELIEVE YOU! I just checked and there is text in there that suggests that the second spoiler should open.

[Dimnos]

Busted! :eek

[Babs]

YOU FELL RIGHY INTO MY TRAP. DID YOU READ THE SOURCE? I GOT YOU DUDE!

[Tadao]

All it takes is quoting you. When you claimed innocence, I checked it. It shows that you had every intention of a multiple spoiler.

The thing I despise about you the most is that when you are caught red handed being wrong, you lie about it like we will change our minds about how stupid you are.

It's like you're running for office. Fucking grow up already.

[Babs]

DUDE BRO I did that on purpose. I'll do it again for you, AND THEN THE PROPER WAY ALL JUST FOR YOU.

this isn't my first rode shit for brains

GO CHECK THE SOURCE NOW LIKE A FAGGOT WHICH WAS INTENDED FOR THAT FAGGOT NICK TO DO, OH WHAT'S THAT? IT'S MESSING WITH THE OTHER SPOILER TAG FROM EARLIER, SIKE, NOT ON THE SAME PAGE BRO

SUCK ON MY PUS

WOWZA! I'M A FUCKING IDIOT FOR WASTING MY TIME

THANKS FOR FUCKING MY PHONE UP, TOOK ME WAY TO LONG TO DO THIS

[Babs]

SHIT ICANTHANDLE MESSAGE BOARDTO MUCH 4MUH

[Tadao]

I don't believe for a second you knew how to do it until I explained it to you.

[Babs]

You have every right to think that, I have done shit like trying to being a posing faggot and trying to "fit in". I realized after like 2 years to stop being faggot because I was pretty much making the most faggiest image of myself here.

[Tadao]

Is that written in English?

[Tadao]

:eek

[Babs]

Dude bro I'm on my phone and its freaking out from all this server redirects and shit so my type gets cancer when I'm typing. DUH FUCK DOOD UR DIGRESSING FROM WHAT I JUST FUCKING TYPED.

[Fathom Zero]

KAvQ6PdE4OI

[Babs]

This is all nicks fault

[Babs]

He knows better, I don't. Therefore it is all his fault.

[Aaarg]

great i lubed up my lips and came here for this wtf kind of chat thread is this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUk

[Nick]

This chat thread is for the discussion of personal and professional image consulting for forums.

[Dimnos]

And dick sniffing. Dont forget about the dick sniffing.

[Aaarg]

lube up those nostrils

[TheNunEater]

This is an intelligent conversation guys, let's keep up the good work!

[Otto]

watch your back, you coor's guzzling faggot! I got a tire iron with nails welded to it with the back of your head's name on it.

Also the back of your head's name is Hobart. Fuck you.

asshole

[Otto]

i just want to spend the rest of my days in a Burroughsian orgy of questionable sex and grotesque levels of substance abuse.

[Esuohlim]

Who needs the internet when you've got Encarta-Fucking-'95. Later, nerds

[Aaarg]

remember world book encyclopedias?

i remember my sisters in high school in 1998, doing research out of our 1988 world book encyclopedia set, and typing up their papers on a typewriter (when typewriters were out of fashion because they were already obsolete and not back in fashion for the same reason).

encarta.

my ass.

[Chojin]

went through a bunch of old CDs today looking for a track. found pictures of my misspent youth on here instead.

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/dogflight2.jpg

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/doingsex4.jpg

http://www.i-mockery.com/chojin/proto2.jpg

[Babs]

Is dat Jixby?

[Zomboid]

So, did anyone bone Emma?

[Nick]

Was that one picture taken in a cheap motel room?

[Babs]

Who is this Emma you speak of and what is her net handle.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

HOW MANY HIPSTERS DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB
I have that on vinyl

[Tadao]

Man I was into lightbulbs way before electricity.

[Ex Leper]

oMt8HtDG8No

[Nick]

Man, Pete and Pete was a great show.

[Aaarg]

remember how it used music by the magnetic fields? cool.

[Nick]

Polaris will forever be stuck in my head.

[Aaarg]

i went to a propagandhi concert last night. :shades:

[Kitsa]

Went to the dentist and they were giving out cookies again wtf

[Babs]

Gotta keep duh business goin

[Esuohlim]

Polaris will forever be stuck in my head.

I AM GLAD YOU EDITED "HEY SANDY" OUT OF THIS POST. ANY INDIRECT REFERENCES TO ANY HURRICANES IS FROWNED UPON HERE

[LordSappington]

I gots me a job as a hookah jockey at a hookah lounge; it's actually really fun, even if the pay does make me rely on tips

[Aaarg]

relying on tips from dirty hippies?

wait, hookah bar... relying on tips from hipster morons? oh, that's much better!

[LordSappington]

Eh, less hipsters and more college kids. Most of the hipsters are closer downtown or the Drag.

[10,000 Volt Ghost]

i went to a propagandhi concert last night. :shades:

How were they? was going to go but didn't feel like it.

[Aaarg]

they were pretty awesome. too many new songs, but they probably played an equal number of older ones so that's cool.

but then again i like them a lot right now.

[Nick]

I AM GLAD YOU EDITED "HEY SANDY" OUT OF THIS POST. ANY INDIRECT REFERENCES TO ANY HURRICANES IS FROWNED UPON HERE
I thought saying Hey Sandy right after someone had just posted Hey Sandy looked retarded. I have retard eyes.


Also I do not want to offend all the poor suffering people that are too stupid to deal with not having power.

[Kitsa]

My cousin posted a joke on his facebook, something about going to a bar and ordering Sandy, and when the bartender asked what it was say it's just a watered-down Manhattan.

Delivery was a bit clumsy but you get the idea.

[Nick]

One of my friends posted that Apple was going to sue Sandy for copying Apple Maps.

[Aaarg]

thanks for making me look up apple maps to get that jkoke

[Phoenix Gamma]

"GREG GO OUT AND VOTE GREG GO OUT AND VOTE"

FUCK YOU YOU DON'T WANT ME TO VOTE YOU WANT ME TO VOTE FOR YOUR GUY

WELL TOO BAD IT'S MY ONLY DAY OFF FROM WORK AND I'M SPENDING IT DRAWING COMICS, WATCHING SIN CITY, PLAYING STREET FIGHTER, AND ORDERING SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALL PIZZA.

FUCK >:

[Esuohlim]

America's not ready for a white president anyway

[Kitsa]

I discovered two things happening in my yard today. One was a woman walking along, acting like she was walking a dog, putting small Romney signs in everyone's yard. The other was my neighbor, thinking I was not home, bringing dogs from her dog grooming business over into my yard to shit.

The political shit and the dogshit are becomng forged into some sort of action plan in my mind, but I'm not quite there yet.

[kahljorn]

i hate your neighbors

when you pick up the dogshit promise me you're going to throw it on her doorstep/door handle

[Kitsa]

my neighbors are no picnic, that's for fucking sure

It's voting day and I've gotten like ten emails and a zillion facebook posts about DON'T LET THEM INTIMIDATE YOU AT THE POLLING PLACE and KEEP YOUR CELLPHONE HANDY FOR WHEN YOU ARE HARASSED AT THE POLLING PLACE. Just what in the hell do they think is going to happen? I WILL KEEP MY CELLPHONE CAMERA HANDY TO CAPTURE IT ON TAPE

[Aaarg]

you should take the dog shit and smear it on all the romney signs. where you live is absolutely insane - and i thought my town was full of conservative nutjobs (it is, but they're more stupid "well-meaning" ignorant christians and not just total mental cases).

i voted last week. hooray!

my girlfriend's still registered in our previous county, so she's driving there today to vote (and look for spiders).

[Kitsa]

Come to Charleston Falls, Aaarg, more fishing spiders there than I've ever seen before, all over the rocky outcrops, eating toads.

Ohio is pretty wacky as far as politics are concerned. The neighbors on one side are republicans, the one on the other side has a bumper sticker that says "too poor to vote republican" and thinks every door-to-door salesman is one of "them damn republicans" trying to convert people. I made fake election signs for Halloween ("Dr. Frankenstein for County Coroner" and "Elect Dracula- I Vant to Get Your Vote") and I caught him in the yard reading them, probably to make sure I wasn't a damn Republican.

I'm registered independent and have gotten at least a half inch pile of mail every day from both sides. Nice to think of how much money gets wasted in all this crap.

[Aaarg]

No joke. The first few pieces of republican mail we got, I wrote "return to sender" and stuck the flag back up. Then it became overwhelming. The best part is when the attacks on Obama INCREASE my desire to vote for him. Obama wants to use taxpayer money to fund abortions? GREAT! Four more years!

Around here, non-republicans are libertarians. I don't know where the democrats are. People here are poor, working-class, etc., and apparently don't realize that the republican party is not for them. Sigh.

Also omg fishing spiders I want them. We're down to two spiderlings of D. triton, and one adult D. tenebrosus (which is primarily terrestrial, they're the ones you find on trees all the time). I want to see a spider eat a toad. Awesome.

[Tadao]

FOUR MORE QUEERS!

[Shrubfest]

I wish I could vote in America. Your politics are like a comic book, someone is always the bad guy, and there's so much drama.

Here its just posh weak men discussing bendy buses and how long people should stay in school.

[Tadao]

SIX MORE BEERS!

[Fathom Zero]

"FUCK HOPE"

[Aaarg]

here's something positive and cool:
http://klimp.dk/glown/b_smithi_nov12.jpg
our tarantulas are growing nicely and adorably. this is brachypelma smithi enjoying the highest elevation in her tiny enclosure.

[Kitsa]

I wish I could vote in America. Your politics are like a comic book, someone is always the bad guy, and there's so much drama.

Here its just posh weak men discussing bendy buses and how long people should stay in school.

Well, it was exciting a few centuries ago.

[kahljorn]

my favorite part about elections is how almost every candidate ive ever seen speak always says the same shit

WELL IM GONNA CUT SPENDINg AND GET US OUTTA THIS DEFICIT AND GET US cheap OIL blah blah blah. like the same thing a five year old running for office would say.

also that because nobody ever says anything worthwhile some young black dude could win on a campaign of "HOPE AND CHANgE." :lol how is thateven a political position. I'm pretty much thrilled that America is stuck with him for another 4 years.

[Shrubfest]

Oh thank god. I woke up afraid to check the news.

[Kitsa]

I've got people on my facebook who are rending their clothes and threatening to move to Canada. They're acting as if this is the death knell heralding the end of the world. One actually called in this morning and quit his job.

[Aaarg]

LOL quit his job.

now he can bitch about obama not helping him find a job.

romney supporters have to be stupid. it's stupid enough to be a republican and not extremely wealthy, but specifically supporting mitt romney... dumb!

[Tadao]

20 MORE TEARS!

[Pandajuice]

I've got people on my facebook who are rending their clothes and threatening to move to Canada. They're acting as if this is the death knell heralding the end of the world. One actually called in this morning and quit his job.

The people on my Facebook prefer to rant about the impending post-apocalyptic Socialism state and erosion of "civil liberties".

Yours sound like a lot more fun.

[Aaarg]

wait wait wait the erosion of civil liberties because of a democrat in the white house? do they know what party they follow?

also i hate when people say socialist like it's a bad thing. obama's a socialist? no he isn't. i'd like him more if that were the case.

i guess i just "want things" as bill o-reilly would say.

four more years!

[Pandajuice]

Listen, trying to understand these people and their Facebook rants is like trying to understand Cthulu.

[Tadao]

wait wait wait the erosion of civil liberties because of a democrat in the white house? do they know what party they follow?

also i hate when people say socialist like it's a bad thing. obama's a socialist? no he isn't. i'd like him more if that were the case.

i guess i just "want things" as bill o-reilly would say.

four more years!

wait wait wait do you actually believe that if you put a person in the highest office they will represent the good of the common people> do you know that your party doesn't give 1 shit about you?

[Aaarg]

in a perfect world i would have voted for jill stein. i voted for obama because our system is fucked and a vote not for obama is a vote for romney.

[Tadao]

I heard Barr was on the ballot. I used to write in Frank Zappa, then I remembered it's a waste of 30 minutes.

[Aaarg]

roger barr?

i-mock 4 prez

[Otto]

I stayed home on election day and drank a bunch of NyQuil.

[Kitsa]

All of those political-alignment quizzes I took put me with Stein, but realistically I knew she had no chance of winning so I tried to come up with a good compromise.

[kahljorn]

you guys shouldve all voted for me

i wouldve fixed this shit

actually i wish that kane dude or newt gengrich would've ran. At least they had ideas and shit. Hell every candidate was better than romney and I might've actually voted republican if it was someone other than him. He's justlike this dude with no ideas who is inoffensive to most people but he's a business man so he must know what to do right.
Plus Herman Kane or whatever was boning all kinds of chicks, just like bill clinton. That's what we need in office a dude who'snot afraid to plow chicks

[Babs]

Or in your case, dudes who aren't affraid to be chicks. Thinking for two, true unbiasim. Kahl for president!

[Aaarg]

i wouldn't say romney is inoffensive to everybody. he avoids talking about his positions because his beliefs are unpopular because he's an evil capitalist mormon racist misogynistic ignore-the-poor piece of shit

yeah newt gingrinch would have been a lot better. WTF.

[kahljorn]

newt gengrich kinda had some ron paul ideas though but at least they were ideas :\

Dude I watched a lot about these elections and I still don't know anything about romney's positions other than that he didn't think obama was doin stuff right and that was basically all he said during the primaries. Pretty much all I remember about Romney is him standing there and not really saying anything other than, "WE GOTTA MAKE THINGS BETTER" while everybody else presented arguments and then attacked other people's arguments.

[Babs]

YA GOTTA CUT THE DEFICIT. CHAMPION SMALL BUSINESS. MINT ROMNEY.

[kahljorn]

REDUCE GAS PRICES AND WASTEFUL SPENDING. I RAN A BIDNESS SO I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS. BAILLSOUTS ARE BAD. TEH ECONOMY NOT GOOD.

isnt bain capital just a business that basically does bailouts for failing companies? lol

[Shrubfest]

I went to a rave. It's been nearly 4 years since I last went. It was wonderful.

[Tadao]

http://i267.photobucket.com/albums/ii285/tadao_mockery/WebJunk/ravewhore.jpg

[Chojin]

in a perfect world i would have voted for jill stein. i voted for obama because our system is fucked and a vote not for obama is a vote for romney.

I voted for stein. I think she got about 1,000 votes total in maryland, for 0.2%. I was considering Gary Johnson (who got at least 1% in most states), but I finally heard him debate and the guy wouldn't stop yelling. Billy Mays for president.

If you don't live in a swing state, you really should vote for whomever you actually like. For some reason most americans think the election is a horse race and you should only vote for the 2 people who are likely to win.

[Babs]

REDUCE GAS PRICES AND WASTEFUL SPENDING. I RAN A BIDNESS SO I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS. BAILLSOUTS ARE BAD. TEH ECONOMY NOT GOOD.

isnt bain capital just a business that basically does bailouts for failing companies? lol

"alternative assest investments" aka, this is how big the romney dick is...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/56/John_Hancock_Tower.jpg/220px-John_Hancock_Tower.jpg

dat be his lair

[Chojin]

jesus christ.

Isu8RgN81Mg

[Aaarg]

If you don't live in a swing state, you really should vote for whomever you actually like. For some reason most americans think the election is a horse race and you should only vote for the 2 people who are likely to win.

i live in a swing state and it swung red this time :(

in the county in which i voted dem, the republicans won by 13,000 votes. shoulda voted for jill stein after all.

[Kitsa]

I was politically matched with Jill Stein but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I thought, "there's no way in hell that she would actually win, so this would be taking a vote from one of the people who actually has a shot".

Idk. I thought the Obama-McCain race was bad, but this Obama-Romney race was flat out fucking psycho. It was the first time I was actually scared of someone, you know, slashing your tires for having the wrong sign in your yard. Maybe it was worse because it was Ohio. I usually stay safe in whatever group I'm with by not making my opinions known. Usually people want to believe, if they consider you in any way intelligent, that you think as they do.

[Nick]

jesus christ.

Isu8RgN81Mg
That's bad, but it barely even touches the tip of that shit pile.


Check out this shirt some moron printed out to pay tribute to his tumblr heroes.
http://i.imgur.com/8q6rd.png

The guy made it because he wanted to wear it around the office on casual Friday.

[Guitar Woman]

I didn't vote.

http://www.arkay.de/guestbook/images/smilies/smiley_smug.gif

[Otto]

no votin club

[MarioRPG]

I didn't vote.

http://www.arkay.de/guestbook/images/smilies/smiley_smug.gif

And look what happened!>:

[Nick]

my presidents black and my lambo's blue

[Aaarg]

a co-worker commented on having a black president and i said "the way it should be!" and he told me i'm crazy and i told him he's a racist. ha ha ha h

[Kitsa]

idk. I suppose it's racist to say that the president *should be* one color or another. "You go, prez" might have been less inflammatory. Or not.

I don't know, what I'm looking for in a president is someone who can be relied upon not to fuck up the major stuff, to not screw over the little guy, and to listen enough to nonpartisan advisors to keep a relatively level head.

[Aaarg]

yeah, i've just grown to enjoy saying things that my idiot co-workers find unsettling. usually i just tell them about spiders/roaches. my new assistant manager is the type of doofus that thinks saying "that's what she said" all the time is hilarious, so now i beat him to it with "that's what he said." ok. aaarg out.

[Tadao]

Have you tried not talking about spiders and getting it on with the ladies?

[Esuohlim]

I didn't vote either but I'm not going to feel smug about it like some man child who thinks they're making a statement by not voting.

I actually planned on it but who the hell wants to wait in line for an hour to do anything? I went to bed at 7:00 instead. Like a grown man.

[Kitsa]

I know that a lot of people are saying that voting is nonsense and the popular vote means nothing, etc etc etc, but if that were true, why do they spend millions upon millions campaigning? For about a two week stretch toward the end, my answering machine was full...literally FULL...of recorded messages from this celebrity or that, my mailbox was stuffed with ads from both sides, and the commercials didn't stop. If the popular vote meant nothing, why did they spend all that money?

[Chojin]

because you live in one of the two states that matter in an election due to our busted system

[Chojin]

I actually planned on it but who the hell wants to wait in line for an hour to do anything?

tbh i mostly went so that i could vote yes to gay rights and for the feeling of superiority i'll get for the next 4 years when i tell people i voted 3rd party.

[Kitsa]

See, if you told someone in Ohio you voted third party, they'd fucking knife you.

[Aaarg]

Have you tried not talking about spiders and getting it on with the ladies?

"ladies" where you live are different from "ladies" where i live.

regardless i have a lady at home and the spiders are technically hers and she likes getting it on so ummmmmmmmmmmm

i'm really not into women. not that i'm into men, i just don't like people.

[Fathom Zero]

thass toothless country in aaargville

I don't blame him for not wanting to get it on.