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Quesada On Colbert

I hardly ever feel compelled to write about comics, but when I do, let me tell you, I enjoy it. I don't read that many myself, but occasionally, I'll find something remarkable that even a comic neophyte like me can latch onto. That something came a few nights ago on The Colbert Report.

As fans of the show may know, Steve Rogers, aka Captain America (may he rest in peace) bequeathed his symbolic shield to Stephen after he was killed in an ill-conceived storyline by Marvel Comics. Well Marvel Editor in Chief Joe Quesada has good news, kind of: Captain America is coming back! Well, let me be more specific: the superhero Captain America is coming back, but the guy who portrayed him is still dead. Instead, the role of Cap will be played by his old sidekick-turn-villain, Bucky "Winter Soldier" Barnes. I guess it's better than having the Punisher as the new Captain America.

Anyway, Quesada announces this on the Colbert Report, and people are fairly excited. Then, the conversation eventually segues into Quesada saying that Stephen is actually still on the presidential ballot in the Marvel Comics universe (at least in Earth 616, one assumes). The question arises: who would Stephen have as a running mate? Quesada had a few ideas, and printed up three bumper stickers to see what Stephen and his audience thought. The first ticket is Colbert/Iron Man. Sure, why not? The dickhead guy who helped get the original Captain America killed, and got Spider-Man to reveal his true identity to a world-ful of people who want him dead. I guess the thought would be that Stephen would want a Cheney-esque VP. Still, the audience cheers at the prospect, so Quesada brings out the next ticket: Colbert/Hulk. Okay, sure. If nothing else, maybe it would save the rest of us from another Hulk movie. The audience cheers even louder.

Now here's the kicker: for the last pairing, you're watching and wonder, "so which superhero would make a better VP than those two? Professor X? The Juggernaut (bitch)?" Not quite. The final ticket: Colbert/Quesada. Two people in the audience clap.

This tells me one of two things about Joe Quesada: either he has no idea how to setup a three-stage joke, or Joe Quesada thinks that he's bigger than Iron Man, the Hulk, and just about any other hero in the Marvel universe. Personally, I think the latter is far more likely. We're talking about a guy so arrogant that he felt he should be able to retcon a few decades of Spider-Man history by turning Peter Parker from a happily married man with a lot of problems on his hand into a single nerd who lives with his aunt (as seen in the most recent Protocomics). Anyway, I suppose we'll just have to wait and see if the next Marvel Civil War takes place during the Colbert/Quesada (or perhaps, the Quesada/Colbert) presidency.



James (Guest) on 02/01/2008 1:33 pm

I don't know anything about comics. But this guy must have a pair to reverse 20 years worth of spiderman canon. That would be like Killing of Chewbacca in the Star Wars universe.....


I laughed at the fact that his Colbert/Quesada joke got all of two claps.

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stonewar on 02/01/2008 1:54 pm

I vote colbert/stark

think of the lovely movie tie-in.
They'll be able to film a political commerical parody when Robert Downey Jr comes on the Colbert Report when he pimps Iron Man later this year.

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Doctor_Who on 02/01/2008 1:58 pm

Is it just me or has Quesada clearly been sent from the future to destroy Marvel Comics?

A hundred years from now humanity is going to be saved by an issue of Howard the Duck or something and JoeBot has traveled back in time to stop it from happening by making sure nobody ever wants to read a Marvel book again.

So far he has ruined:

*Iron Man (now a dick)

*Spider-Man (first public and now a weenie)

*Captain America (dead and being replaced by a character nobody wanted brought back to life)

*Hulk (this is conjecture, but can anyone imagine themselves a few months from now thinking "Wow, Red Hulk rules!")

*The X-Men (As far as I can tell, Wolverine is the only person on the team. He's certainly the only one who ever gets to DO anything)

*Cable & Deadpool (Best Marvel series right now, probably because the third string stars are beneath JoeBot's notice. But now it's being canceled and Cable is getting his own series. Cable! Not Deadpool! Does /anyone/ give two shits about Cable?!)

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rizzo on 02/01/2008 2:16 pm

I'd vote Colbert/Hulk. Hulk SMASH bears!

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wobzire on 02/01/2008 3:27 pm

This goes to show what exactly the problem with comics these days is; THE "PEOPLE" MAKING THEM.

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nilus on 02/01/2008 3:28 pm

Well its easy for Wolverine to do stuff, when you appear in 99.9% of all Marvel comics printed in a month you got a lot of screen time to do things.

I bet by the time the Iron Man movie comes out this summer almost everything that has happened in Civil War has been retconed through some stupid plot twist. Maybe Tony Stark will make a deal with the Devil or something.

About the only comic I can stand right now is Fables.

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Type40 on 02/01/2008 4:44 pm

Uhm, hate to break it to ya, but the Punisher WAS Captain America for a short time...

...but it didn't take.

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Dr. Boogie on 02/01/2008 4:56 pm

Yes. That's why I said it was better than having him as Captain America. The comic isn't out yet, but I assume that he can't be that bad since one assumes that Cap's former sidekick should be a little closer to his crime-fighting mindset.

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Protoclown on 02/01/2008 6:16 pm

The Captain America book is probably the best superhero comic Marvel is doing at the moment, and I just read Bucky's first issue in the uniform. Good stuff.

The costume on the other hand, is another matter altogether...more on that later...


ColdFusion (Guest) on 02/01/2008 7:41 pm

But you guys! It'll turn out Bucky has Steve's DNA implanted in him! Reed Richards used STEM CELLS or something! MARK MY WORDS :O

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Colonel Flagg on 02/01/2008 7:59 pm

This guy is the equivalent of the antichrist in the Marvel universe. I'd wager that he changed his name from Damien.

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BurntToShreds on 02/01/2008 8:26 pm


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Purple Man on 02/01/2008 8:49 pm

Comic Book Guy has taken over the shop, and someone needs to stop him.

Maybe there's some weird House Of M thing going on a the moment, like for real, and soon some creepy little girl is going to come along and wake me up and everything will be okay again.

They've got me hanging out with MODOK, for god's sake. What, was Mole Man busy?

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JakeOfAllTrades on 02/01/2008 10:23 pm

Really, what they need is to focus less on big events and go back to little events that piece together to finally come to a startling revelation: Bad Guy 1 (of either of the big companies) would have been working together with Bad Guy 2 for ten issues, and their plot is finally thwarted in three issues instead of a ton of tie ins.

I mean, Batman: The Killing Joke was for DC a one-shot event that was brilliant, however even they screwed it up by editing this story out of continuity. However! If Marvel replaced Quesada with somebody less insane, that is, somebody who would have kept the interesting Spider-Man unmasked idea going and have killed of Aunt May, this would have been of more merit than a reality warp. Instead of just rebooting realities all the time, Manga comics instead stick to a plot that continues over many or few volumes without continuity problems.

But if they bring back Captain America in his original form, that will be yet another case of Corporate Necromancy. I wanted to see the effects of Captain America remaining dead for good!

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greenimp on 02/01/2008 11:50 pm

stick to webcomics guys (the better class that is, not the kind wich is basically a sonic sprite in a ms paint designed background saying fukassbithclolol!123!!%^#!eleventy1even) they dont usually just ruin story lines for fun

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Tetsu Deinonychus on 02/02/2008 1:34 am

JakeOfAllTrades - Totally agree with everything you just said. Although, there is the occasional reboot in manga as well (Astro-Boy, anyone?).

Also, gotta agree with greenimp about webcomics. But, I'd like to point out that there are perfectly nice independent comics in published form, as well.

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incognit000 on 02/02/2008 10:36 am

Quesada's ego is bigger than that of the Colbert character.

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Type40 on 02/02/2008 12:19 pm

"Dr. Boogie - Yes. That’s why I said it was better than having him as Captain America."


Yeah, I too miss the days a villain was beaten in the space of two issues. CURSE YOU BENDIS! Your decompressed style was revolutionary in Powers, cute in Ult. Spider-Man, but shouldn't be used in every other Marvel title!

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MrEff on 02/02/2008 1:14 pm

We should get Alan Moore to beat up this guy, that would be freakin' sweet.


Cat (Guest) on 02/02/2008 2:18 pm

Have you ever read twisted Toyfair? Alan Moore would totally kick Quesada's ass.

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BurntToShreds on 02/02/2008 4:08 pm

Alan Moore's beard has powers of Lovecraftian proportions.

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GLX-Mr. Ordinary on 02/02/2008 9:38 pm

Captain America WAS the best Marvel comic there Proto NOW it has been replaced By MY MAIN TEAM the Great Lakes Intiative the NEW Driveing force of marvelthey could destroy anyone and my main squeeze Squirrel girl has taken down some of the biggest by herselg like Thanos and M.O.D.O.K to name a few. These guys are soooo god that they need a Movie. Bruce Campell could play Mr.Immortal and Rog could play Grasshopper LMAO REad the comics to find out why!!!!!

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GLX-Mr. Ordinary on 02/02/2008 9:40 pm

and boy i need spell check LOL.

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Doctor_Who on 02/03/2008 2:41 am

"We should get Alan Moore to beat up this guy, that would be freakin’ sweet."

He'd do it too. The guy's a genius, but he's also out of his mind. We need more Moores in this world.

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Poxpower on 02/03/2008 3:47 am

Bucky? Does he have superpowers?
Didn't he die in world war 2?

I didn't read this shit anyways. You know what's a good comic?
A comic drawn by Alex Ross. Now there's a good story for ya.

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Hugh Jerection on 02/03/2008 7:42 am

JQ is a dick.


Unknown (Guest) on 02/03/2008 8:03 am

I read one marvel title, the Pusnisher Max series. Garth Ennis writes whatever he wants with no fucked up Marvel U continuity to fuck things up. No superhero bullshit.

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Mystik Tomato on 02/03/2008 8:28 am

Poxpower said:
"Bucky? Does he have superpowers?
Didn’t he die in world war 2?"

Yeah, but he came back as the Winter Soldier, obliterating the Bucky Clause.

I think he only has a bionic arm or something like that.

I'm willing to bet that Steve Rogers comes back in a year or two.

Two years tops.

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Jonny#5 on 02/03/2008 11:32 am

I'd think that a Moore/quesada fight would be epic! All we need to start the sucker up is a few pints in Moore and a Margaret Thatcher mask on Quesada and AAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY we go! :)

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MrEff on 02/04/2008 9:02 am

Not even that. We just need to tell Moore that Quesada hates his comics and thinks the film adoptions are vastly superior. This should propel Moore into a rage of epic proportions.
Stopping him may be a problem.

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Blev on 02/04/2008 10:42 pm

I think a Jack Kirby clone from the year 2099 would be more appropriate to stop the madness of Joey Quesadilla. Moore wouldn't even dirty his beard with the likes of this guy.

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Nktalloth on 02/05/2008 12:19 am

What joke? Quesada kicks major ass!

I mean, he's got laser vision, flight, super strength, invisibility, and pyrokinesis for chrissake! This one time, Bruce Lee challenges him to a fight, and Quesada punched him in the junk so hard that Bruce Lee's heart ASPLODED WITH FIRE.

Go Joe!

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Exeter on 02/05/2008 4:17 pm

Screw Joe Quesada. I was a total Marvel geek as a kid--but now, of the few comics I still read, none of them are from the House of [bad] Ideas.

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Kirbykid on 02/06/2008 10:23 am

Quesada really needs to stop. He already ruined one of my fav characters(Iron Man) Now he's fucking with Deadpool!? He really must hate us marvel fans.

BTW, the final pair should have been Colbert/Deadpool. Yes I am serious!


Jim Treacher (Guest) on 02/07/2008 1:46 am

"Is it just me or has Quesada clearly been sent from the future to destroy Marvel Comics?"

And pizza.


James (Guest) on 02/13/2008 3:54 pm

Why not? He made Venom cease to exist, now he can retcon the national debt, global warming, and the Iraqi war too!


James Fabiano (Guest) on 02/13/2008 7:20 pm

Colbert/BENDIS for 2008. He'll probably fire Stephen and induct Luke Cage though.


James Fabiano (Guest) on 02/13/2008 7:21 pm

Frank Miller (the world's greatest comedian) for vs. THE GODDAMN BATMAN, I'd pay to see that fight!


Matt (Guest) on 02/13/2008 7:34 pm

“Is it just me or has Quesada clearly been sent from the future to destroy Marvel Comics?”

He got here too late, as the Clone Saga already did that. And while One More Day is no great shakes, The Other wasn't much better.

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