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I-Mockery’s First Official T-Shirt In Eons! It Glows-In-The-Dark!

It has a shark! It has the I-Mockery logo! It glows-in-the-dark! IT BE AWESOME!

Check it out people! I promised you I'd be making some brand new official I-Mockery T-Shirts and they've finally arrived! I know I was supposed to have these up for sale earlier this month, but we had some problems with the printer that had to get straightened out first, so my apologies for the delay. The good news is, the shirts are finally here and you're gonna absolutely love 'em! Here are the ingredients for the shirt:

-1 Tablespoon of Shark.
-1 Teaspoon of I-Mockery logo on sleeve.
-1 Cup of Glow-In-The-Darkness.
-500 gallons of AWESOME!

This first run of the shirts is a limited edition and I'm going to see how well they do to determine if I want to print up more varieties of I-Mockery shirts in the future. I've never been big on selling merchandise because shipping out products takes away from the time I could spend writing new articles for the site, but this shirt just HAD to be made (if you don't understand why, I suggest you read one of my earlier blog posts). The point is, get your Awesome Glow-In-The-Dark I-Mockery Shark shirts while ya can, because these are gonna go like hotcakes... just don't pour maple syrup on 'em, because I'm NOT giving any refunds for such a grievous error no matter how good it may taste.

Click here to learn more about the shirts and order one!




In Which I Explain My Recent Absence.


Gentle reader, perhaps you have noticed I have been missing from these pages the last few weeks. Then again, perhaps not. It’s hard for me to imagine a you that does not monitor my comings and goings as carefully as a presidential physician, but I acknowledge the theoretical possibility. If that’s you, well, so be it. I probably wasn’t talking to you anyway. (more...)



Kill Devil Hills. A Great Name And Vacation Spot In North Carolina.

Why yes, I WOULD like to live here.

As I mentioned in a recent post, we went to Nags Head, North Carolina for an extended Memorial Day weekend vacation with a bunch o' friends from back East. This vacation was extra special for me because it was something I've wanted to do for a long time - have all of us pool our money together so we could rent a really nice place for a week. And man, did it ever beat the hell out of staying at a hotel. We ended up getting a huge 3-story house right near the beach, and when it was all said 'n done, it cost everybody less than a week-long hotel stay would have. Not a bad deal by any means. Well, I promised I would share some photos from that excursion sooner or later, so I've just put up a little collection of some photos that we took. Rather than bore you with historical tidbits about Kitty Hawk or reminiscing about how many crabs I used to catch on the docks of Manteo with nothing more than a piece of string and a chicken drumstick, let's drive right into the pics! (more...)



Exactly How Life Should Be.

We are awesome. Fuck yes.
Why can't we feel like this every day of our lives?



They Are Becoming More Aggressive, Our Avian “Friends”.

This is what you Hummer-driving soccer moms get! Payback's a bitch!

I can't help but notice, in the last several months, that I have almost plowed into almost a dozen birds with my automobile vehicle, my "horseless carriage", if you will. I will be driving along, singing to whatever awesome music I happen to have playing (all of my music is awesome), when suddenly, a kamikaze avian menace will swoop down from the sky, passing right in front of my vehicle, clearing the opposite end mere seconds before I would have smeared it into a feathered paste across my grill.

It has happened frequently enough that I have definitely noticed a trend. I do not remember birds doing this in the past, so I must wonder, what has changed? Is global warming driving them insane? Are they afflicted with some "mad bird disease" currently rampaging through the avian community? Have they been watching Hitchcock? Or is it merely some kind of game, a test of wills--some new game of chicken they play, perhaps to impress their mates? Or perhaps my new Honda Civic came with a bird magnet feature I was not aware of. (more...)



My Obligatory Friday The 13th Post.

He really does love New York, he just hates the poster for it.

It may be an unlucky day for some, but for horror fans, Friday the 13th will forever be associated with gut-splatteringly good times thanks to a maniac in a hockey mask. Today I'd like to open up a discussion about the Friday the 13th flicks to hear your thoughts on a few things:

1) What's your favorite Friday the 13th movie?
2) What's your favorite Friday the 13th movie moment? (this can be a kill scene or just any scene you really enjoyed)

Now, I've already posted my list of Jason's 10 Best Kills and I still stand by that list 100%. Same goes for my Freddy's 10 Best Kills list. If I had to pick my favorite movie in the series, it would have to be Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood. Jason never looked better than he did in that one and I loved how he had a real opponent in the form of a girl with telekinetic powers. (more...)


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