UPDATE 10/18/16: The Halloween Club Packs are nearly gone. I shipped out another big batch of them today. Make sure you place your orders soon if you haven't already, because once they're sold out, these won't be reproduced. Thanks again to all who've ordered them so far!
"We have such sights to show you." I'm pretty sure Pinhead wasn't speaking of Hell when he uttered those words; he was referencing I-Mockery's Halloween Club Packs. Fortunately for you, you don't need to summon cenobites with a puzzle box in order to obtain one, because I-Mockery's Halloween Club Packs have returned for the 2016 season! Getting so many vintage Halloween items in bulk quantities is no easy task, I assure you, but I've managed to collect some insanely cool spooky goodies for everyone. I even have some rare Halloween figures from Japan this time around!
Okay, let's not delay things any longer. Behold!
Beautiful, isn't it? It's like the Great Pumpkin decided to send you a big box of everything that makes Halloween great. And that's always my goal with putting these together: to basically give you Halloween in a box. I put loads of time and love into making these packs happen, and those of you who've kindly purchased them in the past surely already know this. As always, there's a LOT to scour through in my new Halloween Club Packs, so let's take a closer look at some of what you'll receive when you order one. We begin with the biggest item:
What you're looking at is a vintage promotional Real Ghostbusters P.K.E. Meter water bottle that was given out way back in 1986 with McDonald's Happy Meals in limited territories. You see, there were lots of Real Ghostbusters novelties that they were giving away back then, but unlike all the others, this particular item was more expensive to produce, so they only tested releasing them in certain states for a very limited time. It's easy to see why too, as this is easily one of the largest Happy Meal items I've ever seen.
You'll be getting a brand new one, still sealed in its original bag, complete with a Ghostbusters sticker sheet. It even comes with a bicycle attachment, so you can fill it up with Ecto Cooler and enjoy it on the go! And yes, if you hold it upside-down, it looks just like the classic P.K.E. meter, with an odd little ghost appearing on the screen. Whether you're using it as a water bottle, or as a display piece, this thing is absolutely awesome, and I couldn't believe it when I was able to purchase enough of them in bulk for this year's pack. But there's still so much more...
Now this is a very special one to me, as I'm super excited to introduce the rest of the world to these amazing pieces. What you're looking at are rare Monsters Meet Pepsiman bottle cap figures from Japan! These figures were released exclusively in Japan for a limited time, and are now quite hard to track down without forking over some real money for a full set of series 1 and 2. Well, I've been collecting these for years now, and have finally amassed enough of them to include with your Halloween Club Pack. I've been wanting to give you these forever, and I'm happy to say that everybody will be getting one Monsters Meet Pepsiman figure in their Halloween packs this year!
The sculpts on these little figures are absolutely gorgeous, and feature the doomed Pepsiman interacting with a number of different classic monsters. The fact that they could fit such detailed and funny scenarios on top of a bottle cap will forever impress me. Even better, they didn't only go with the most popular monsters like Frankenstein and Dracula... they went with random ones like the Metaluna Mutant, Jaws, the Grim Reaper, and many more. There are even figures with different color variants.
If you're interested in seeing them all, I just wrote an article about the complete collection of the Japanese Monsters Meet Pepsiman figures. So yeah, get excited, for you're getting rare monster figures from Japan this year too. And there's still more:
Everybody who orders a pack will also receive a copy of this vintage 1992 Universal Monsters "Frightening Facts" book. It's a classic Mark & See book that comes with a marker that you use to reveal the hidden invisible ink messages within. I totally understand if some of you just want to leave them unmarked, but know that I tested a marker on one and it still works perfectly. This book is chock full of fun movie monster factoids, illustrations, horror movie stills, quizzes, and even some full color trading cards of your favorite monsters that you can remove from it! Trust me, you haven't lived until you've answered an invisible ink question about The Phantom of the Opera while staring at an illustration of a centipede.
If you ever went to a grocery store or restaurant chains like Pizza Hut back in the 80s & 90s, chances are you remember seeing these vending machine prism stickers. You'd put 50 cents into the mechanism, and out would pop a gorgeous, shiny prism sticker based on some of your favorite pop culture heroes of the time. Well, they also made a lot of horror themed ones, and I have a large personal collection of them that I plan on photographing and writing about soon. But for now, you'll get to start your own collection, because I'm including three random vintage Tales from the Crypt prism stickers with every pack! Whether it's the Cryptkeeper sporting a tuxedo, preparing for surgery with a bone saw, performing with a ventriloquist dummy, or any of the other scenarios - all of these stickers look amazing, and I can't tell you how happy I am to introduce you to something I've been collecting for many years now.
Speaking of collecting, no Halloween Club Pack would be complete without an assortment of trading cards and sticker packs for you to enjoy. Kicking things off, you'll all be receiving a first series pack of Cereal Killers trading cards. Created by Joe Simko, the artist behind many of your favorite Garbage Pail Kids, these Cereal Killers cards combine two of my favorite things: Horror Movies and Breakfast. Each card is a beautiful illustration and features your favorite movie monsters on cereal boxes we could only have in our dreams. Boxes like "Fiber the 13th", "Hellraisin' Bran", "Chucky Harms", and "A Bitemore on Oat Street" are just a few of the amazing cards in this set. The first series of cards sold out back in 2011, and feature some of Simko's best work to date. Can't wait to hear which ones each of you get!
I'm also excited to include a vintage set of Pepsi Party Monsters trading cards! You may recall I wrote an article about these a few years ago, and how they were only available as a promotional giveaway to anybody who bought Pepsi products in October of 1992. Now you get to own the complete set of them without having to travel back in time! And let's be honest here... you can't tell me you don't want trading cards that feature the Creature from the Black Lagoon wearing a backwards baseball cap or the Mummy wearing cool dude shades. It's seriously one of my favorite trading card sets ever, and it's always good to see the monsters letting loose. (note: Party Monsters cards are slightly more limited in supply, so the earlier you place your order order, the more likely it is you'll get one of these sets. otherwise, alternate replacement Halloweeny cards will be included with your order.)
You'll also find FIVE packs of Toxic Crusaders stickers in the club pack for you to place wherever nuclear waste and hazardous chemical injustices can be found. I've always loved Toxie, so being able to include stickers that feature New Jersey's first superhero and the other weirdo mutants from the old cartoon is a real treat.
So yeah, you'll be receiving lots of Halloweeny trading cards and stickers with wonderful, vibrant artwork to keep your eyes occupied for ages. Good times!
Last but not least, I'm including another batch of random Halloween toys, treats, trinkets, and stickers in every pack. You'll find all sorts of goodies in each pack including miniature zombie figures, flexible fang rings, gummy mummies, Zomboogers candies, the always popular orange & black Halloween fortune cookies with actual spooky fortunes inside them, sticky skeletons, seasonal Halloween candies, and more! There will be other little surprises included with every order to ensure this box o' goodies keeps you entertained all month long.
So there you have it. These packs are absolutely loaded with Halloween fun. I really can't wait to hear what all of you think of 'em when they arrive at your doorsteps. Please note that while I've once again made even more club packs than I did in 2015, they're still limited in quantity. Once they sell out, I won't be reproducing them again, so be sure to place your order early to ensure you get one and aren't left standing alone in a pumpkin patch like a disappointed Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin to arrive. Nobody wants to be a disappointed Linus.
Please keep in mind, you're not only getting a club pack filled with loads of hand-picked Halloween fun, you're also helping support all the time and work put into I-Mockery. Halloween season is easily the most important time of the year for me, but it's also the most expensive time as well. In addition to the cost of running I-Mockery, I rack up some hefty traveling and purchase expenses for all the articles and reviews I post on this site, so you purchasing my club packs and other merch really helps offset those costs. Also, if you have any friends who might like the Halloween Club Pack, please let 'em know about it before the packs sell out!
The Halloween Club Packs are $31 a pop (after all, Halloween is on October 31st) for anybody in the continental United States, and yes, that price does include shipping. Only one purchase per person please, as I wanna spread the wealth and make sure lots of people have a chance to order one. If you're ready to order, click the button below:
NOTE: At this point all the standard packs have sold out, however, I did manage to put together a few extras, but they won't contain a Pepsiman figure. I'll throw in some extra Halloween trading cards instead. So please know that if you haven't ordered yet, and you're seeing this notice, you can still order a Halloween Club Pack, but you'll be getting extra cards instead of the Pepsiman figure.
For international customers outside of the United States, due to the widely varying shipping costs and all the time it takes to fill out customs forms among other things (time that would be better spent writing new Halloween articles for the site), the club packs are not available for you to purchase. That said, you know I don't like to leave anyone out, so if you *reeeeally* want a pack / can't live without one, and you live outside of the United States, drop me an email about it and I'll do my best to set one aside for you and we'll work out the shipping costs later. I can't make any promises, as I often get more requests than I can handle, but I'll do my best to get a club pack into your hands just like I did with a bunch of you last year.
Okay, I've blabbed for long enough. I really hope you have a blast with these newest packs, because it was honestly a small miracle that they happened this time around. The moons and the planets aligned, and I was somehow able to gather all of these awesome Halloweeny goodies to send your way. As always, I wanted to give you what I see as "Halloween in a box" to make your October even more spooktacular. Can't wait to hear what you think of 'em! Thanks in advance to all of you who help support I-Mockery and all the work I do every Halloween season by ordering one. Have at it, Halloweenies!
Last year, on October 29th, I was lucky enough to attend a special screening of one of my all-time favorite horror movies, John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness. Seeing this film on the big screen is a rare treat under any circumstances, but on this particular occasion, it was being screened inside the church where it was actually filmed! I simply couldn't believe this was a real event that was happening, and I was honestly more excited about attending this sold out screening than going out on Halloween itself. If you know anything me, you know I wouldn't dare make such a bold statement unless I was absolutely serious.
Upon our arrival, we immediately recognized the old church, which they had illuminated with eerie green lights to help set the move for this special event. The historic church, built in 1923, is located in the Little Tokyo area of Los Angeles (you can see it here on Google Maps), and is now known as the Union Center for the Arts. And honestly, while some of it has been revamped since Prince of Darkness was originally filmed there back in 1987, much of the church looks exactly the way it did back then... especially the exterior.
Before the screening of Prince of Darkness commenced, fans were allowed to explore the grounds, including some of the familiar locations from the film such as the alley on the west side of the church. I can't tell you how crazy it felt to walk down the same alley where Alice Cooper and the other possessed homeless people in the film killed their first victim with a bicycle frame. I gotta say, I really loved that they took the time to set up each of these areas with extra lights so we fans could snap some fun photos that night.
And speaking of fun photos, as we walked up to the stairs to the screening area, we were informed that this was the exact location where the character Calder (Jessie Lawrence Ferguson) walked up the stairs while dragging a chair behind him and singing Amazing Grace. He then proceeded to stab himself in the throat with a shard of wood. Well, they wanted to make this extra special for us fans, so they provided an old chair for us to drag up for our own photo opportunity. In retrospect, I should've fully committed to the bit and stabbed myself in the throat.
We then proceeded into the theater area, where countless stage performances have taken place since the movie was first filmed. We were informed how certain sections of this room had been remodeled, but you could still recognize the remnants of what it used to be. All in all, it's a fantastic room, and watching John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness from up in the balcony inside the church it was filmed in? That's a priceless experience that this fan will never forget.
And to top it all off, after we finished watching the underrated Carpenter classic, there was an area set up in the front door of the church for one last special photograph. This was the entrance where the grainy footage transmissions from the future that kept appearing to people in their dreams in the film took place. They had it set up with a black back drop so we could all recreate our own transmissions for the late, great Donald Pleasence and his Brotherhood of Sleep to receive. Amazing!
Was this incredible Prince of Darkness church screening all a dream?
"This is not a dream... not a dream. We are using your brain's electrical system as a receiver. We are unable to transmit through conscious neural interference."
Well, I guess that answers that question.
Here's hoping this becomes an annual event, because more people should get to experience Prince of Darkness, the second installment in John Carpenter's "Apocalypse Trilogy", at the church it was filmed in. Huge thanks to all who were involved in putting this even together for huge horror fans like myself. This event was something that I never would've imagined as becoming a reality, but I'm happier than green liquid Satan leaking from his canister that is was.
September has been absolutely great so far, writing nothing but Halloween articles and hearing your comments on them, so a big thanks to all of you who have been joining in the discussions. Again, the best compliment you can pay us for writing these articles, is posting your thoughts about 'em in the comments sections and sharing them with your chums on social media.
I'm also happy to announce that I-Mockery's Halloween Club Packs WILL be returning once again this year! I wasn't sure I was going to be able to do them this time, which is why I hadn't announced it, but everything magically came together over the past two weeks, so I'll be announcing details about them later this month!
In the meantime, aside from all the Halloween material I'm working on for I-Mockery, I also wrote another piece for Dread Central that just went live!
The Greatest Horror TV Show Intros: Part 1 is another new series of articles I'm doing for them, and I cover some of my favorite title sequences including Monsters (which some of you may remember from The Match Game episode I wrote about some years ago), True Blood, and more. As always, thanks for reading, and please do me a solid by posting in the comments section of the article on Dread Central and sharing what other horror TV show intros you'd like to see me cover. I just might include 'em in future installments!
More articles to come!
There's a chill in the air. The leaves are crunching beneath your feet. The summer has succumbed to the spookiest of seasons.
So here we are. I-Mockery's "Two Months of Halloween" celebration has arrived once again, and I couldn't be more excited to have you guys along for the spooktacular ride. The Halloween tunes in the Jack-O-Juke may keep me company during those long writing sessions, but it's hearing from all of you throughout the season that's the lightning bolt to my Frankenstein.
And I gotta say, I need this Halloween. It's been a trying year for many reasons that I won't bore your bones with, but suffice to say, I can't wait to celebrate all things haunted, undead, pumpkin spice, and more. We've had some amazing seasons in recent years, and I think Halloween 2016 is going to be no exception - just look at what's already happened this summer! Whether you enjoyed it or not, we saw a new Ghostbusters movie released, which also resulted in the glorious return of Ecto Cooler. Netflix surprised all of us with their new show, Stranger Things, that had all of us saying "dem-oh-gore-gon" a thousand times a day until our best friends wanted to stomp on our throats. Mr. Robot unveiled a faux horror movie within one of their episodes that was a nearly perfect homage to 80s slashers. And the General Mills decided to give us a Monster Cereal Election we could all be excited about. All this before September even showed up to shove cardboard skeleton decorations and plastic pumpkin buckets in our faces at every turn? Are you kidding me?
My friends... this is gonna be goooood. Like you're-the-last-person-to-go-trick-or-treating-at-that-rich-person's-house-on-Halloween-so-they-give-you-the-rest-of-their-full-sized-candy-bars kind of good.
While I never officially celebrate Halloween until September 1st - I consider these two months to be a sacred tradition - I've certainly experienced a boatload of Halloweeny things so far this year. In addition to the aforementioned anomalies, I've gone to not one, but three Halloween conventions so far this year (which you'll see coverage of soon enough), we released a game called Godball where you hurl giant monster balls at helpless towns, and I've even been freelancing for two of my favorite horror sites, Dread Central and Blumhouse. It's like Halloween has been inside of me like a ferocious Xenomorph since last October and I've been struggling to keep it from bursting out of my chest until today.
Well, it's time to let the monster out. It's time for all of us to let our monsters out.
(this will be you shortly)
This is the season of all things spooky, and it's our deadly duty to spread the word about anything we see related to Halloween. Remember, Halloween isn't a single day... it's a season. It's a season we're going to have a lot of fun talking about together. We're going to talk about Halloween toys, Halloween cereals, Halloween costumes, Halloween Candies, Halloween games, Halloween movies, Halloween TV specials, Halloween drinks, Halloween soap bottles, Halloween paper towels, and anything else that proudly displays the visage of a ghost, goblin, or other creepy creatures of the night.
I've always have and continue to treat what I do from September 1st - October 31st every year as an honor. Having worked on I-Mockery for a few years shy of two decades, I can't tell you how much it means to know that so many of you include this site in your Halloween traditions. It really is an awesome privilege to know you're all reading along on this site while sipping on hot apple cider and listening to Rockwell's "Somebody's Watching Me" for the thousandth time. So once again, I think you all for allowing me to be your petrifying pied piper, leading you into the spooky annual abyss that is the Two Months of Halloween on I-Mockery.
For those of you not in the know, September 1st marks the beginning of I-Mockery's annual "Two Months of Halloween" celebration. Every single update you see on this site from now until October 31st will be Halloween-related in one way or another. No matter where you live - whether it's a shining beacon of Halloween goodness, or a barren land with barely a flickering matchstick to make things a little spookier - please think of this site as your official Halloween home. The next two months are going to rule, for there is no greater time of the year.
Alright, let's get into the details of what you can expect to see on I-Mockery in the coming months. As you probably already know, we pride ourselves on going crazier over this holiday than just about any other place has in our 18+ year history, so we've got all sorts o' spine-shocking surprises planned for the 2016 Halloween season. We'll have coverage of various haunted Halloween attractions, horrific novelties, my huge annual round-up of the best & worst Halloween candies, horror movie reviews, new videos, craft projects, scary toy features, contests, and all the other wonderfully random oddities we stumble upon over the next two months.
If any of you have suggestions for Halloweeny things you'd like to see covered this season, or you have something you'd like to donate for us to review, please let me know here in the blog thread or shoot me an email. It doesn't matter if it's a Halloween event taking place in your area, a horror movie, an independent seasonal costume shop, some new candy, or some completely bizarro new Halloween novelty... I wanna see and hear all about it, so please get in touch!
(to quote Roddy Piper: "Put on the glasses!")
To those of you who aren't well acquainted with our annual Halloween celebration here on I-Mockery, I always suggest checking out some of our main Halloween attractions. We have a huge archive of Halloween material on this site from previous years, so while you wait for our newest pieces to go up, I highly recommend checking out those older things to get in the spirit of the season.
-I-Mockery's Halloween Collection: Here you'll find quick 'n easy access to most of our Halloween material from the past. Extremely in-depth horror movie and candy articles, product reviews, and of course the boppin' Halloween adventures of Count Pop himself along with many other oddities. Also, be sure to check back right here on the homepage every day for the very latest Halloween updates as well.
-The Halloween Grab Bag: Much like our "Shorts" section, this is a place where you'll find our smaller Halloween articles, but often covering some of the weirdest stuff we've ever stumbled upon.
-The Greatest Horror Movie Moments: Another fan favorite is our ongoing quest to document some of the finest moments in horror movies. Sometimes they're moments you're well aware of, other times, it's stuff you probably never knew existed. Either way, if you're looking for some horror movies to check out this season, this is a great place to start.
-The Halloween Jack-O-Juke: Here be our Halloween music jukebox, filled with over 218 hand-picked horrifying songs and counting to keep your decaying ears bleeding with ghoulish glee all season long. Feel free to keep the Jack-O-Juke open in a separate window so you can listen to all of the hand-picked tunes while still checking out the latest article offerings here on I-Mockery. I'm hoping to add some more spooky tunes to it during the next two months. If there's a song you think should be added to the jukebox, be sure to let me know by dropping a comment in this thread and I'll try to add it before the end of October if time permits!
-Trick-Or-Treat Adventure: One of the largest classic Flash games we ever made... and it's all about Halloween. If you're a fan of classic adventure games such as Secret of Monkey Island and Space Quest, you'll feel right at home with this one as you go on an adventure to build a Halloween costume and then collect enough candies before you battle the ultimate evil! It even auto-saves your progress as you go play, so you don't have to beat the game all in one sitting.
-Haunted House Candy Hunt: In this Halloween game, we pay tribute to the games of the Atari 2600 by creating an all new one in the same style. You must guide two buddies (who just so happen to be from a galaxy far, far away) through all the treacherous rooms of a spooky haunted house as they hold hands. Should you reach the end of the game, you'll have a showdown with the ultimate candy hoarder - The Grim Reaper himself! I've also heard from a reliable source (ie: myself) that there's a secret level select hidden somewhere in the game. But you don't need that anyway, right? Cheater!
-MonsterTime: With our most recent Halloween game, we pay tribute to another favorite arcade classic, BurgerTime. Only difference is, instead of building burgers, you're a mad scientist named Doc Mock who is building classic monsters to save you from the modern slasher monsters who are out for your blood!
-Doc Mock's Movie Mausoleum: Doc Mock, I-Mockery's official horror host is looking for a new home to shoot his original show at, but we have over 30 archived episodes you can still watch online. If you're looking for a good cheesy b-movie flick, check out all of the Doc's episodes that are archived on iTunes (some were archived on YouTube as well), including his Halloween specials! You can also find some of Doc Mock's special "Mini Mausoleum" videos here.
In addition to a ton of new feature articles, you can still expect our regular site updates to the Blog (don't forget the archived Halloween blog entries from years past). We've also got some great Halloween contests in store for you to participate in as well. Please show your support for all the hard work we put into our Halloween celebration by following I-Mockery us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to get all the latest updates.
HALLOWEEN SURVEY: Share in the comments section below *three* horror movies you're going to make a point to watch this season. Are they ones you've seen a bajillion times before? Are they frightful flicks you've been putting off for far too long? Drop a comment below (you don't even have to register!) and let's get this Halloweeny discussion going!
ONE FINAL NOTE: As a writer, the best compliment you can pay me is to chime in with your comments on all the articles I post, and to share them with your friends on various social networks. I don't pay to advertise the site or my work, it simply gets out there via word-of-mouth, so please make sure your skull jawbones ready to start moving and help spread the word. I can't even begin to tell you just how much of my life gets swallowed up by Halloween for two months out of every year, and the workload is pretty tremendous; so it's the little things like your comments that which keep me motivated and going full-steam ahead on my Munster Koach from now through October 31st.
All right, in the words of the dearly departed, great Gene Wilder: "Tonight, we shall hurl the gauntlet of science into the frightful face of death itself. Tonight, we shall ascend into the heavens. We shall mock the earthquake. We shall command the thunders, and penetrate into the very womb of impervious nature herself."
In other words... let's get this Halloween party started!
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