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Happy New Year!

Ringing in the new year with some nice snowfall! Happy New Year!

It's been snowing lightly all day where I am, so it's a real nice way to end December and 2013. This was an extremely busy year for me, but it's also been an exciting one, so I just wanted to thank you all for being a part of it here on I-Mockery. We're one of the oldest sites around, so it's pretty awesome knowing that many of you have stuck with it for over a decade.

2014 promises to be a very interesting year, and I'm excited to see what adventures it takes me on next. Of course, one of the things I'm most excited about is this big project that my pals and I have been working on nonstop:

Bionic Chainsaw Pogo Gorilla - coming to a winter wonderland near you in 2014!

Bionic Chainsaw Pogo Gorilla is looking forward to chilling with all of you. Until then, I hope you all have an awesome New Year's Eve. If you have any thoughts on this past year or any resolutions you wanna tell us about, feel free to share 'em here in the blog.

Have fun tonight, everyone, and I'll see ya in 2014!


Christmas Aftermath 2013.

Oh what fun it is to... make a mess.

Hope everybody had a great Christmas holiday! So what did Santa leave under your Astro-Weenie Christmas Tree this year? Yeppers, you know the drill... post what gifts you received over the holidays this year so we can all be extremely jealous and decide who we need to burglarize in the future. I'll post my holiday haul soon, but I still have my birthday to survive today. I'm about to indulge in countless slices of New York pizza, so that's one awesome present already... to my taste buds.

Okay, on with the gifts! Post lists of whatcha got and feel free to include photos of your Christmas holiday hauls! Let's see just how spoiled you bastards really are!



Merry Christmas!

Samta Claus says Christmas isn't scary!
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Hey look, it's Samta Claus! He's come to pay us a visit and spread his special blend of holiday cheer! I sure hope he brings all of you some wonderful presents in his sack for Christmas this year that aren't covered in too much blood.

Keeping with tradition, I'll be sure to post our annual "Christmas Aftermath" blog thread in the next day so you can all share your lists of what goodies you gave out and received. In the meantime, grab a cup of hot cocoa, enjoy the newest article I just posted about a special Christmas Haunt, and have yourselves an awesome little Christmas or whatever you happen to celebrate around this time o' year.

Thanks again so much for spending such a big chunk of it with me! I've been working on this crazy site for an eternity in Internet years, and it's always awesome knowing that so many of you make it a part of your annual holiday traditions. It really keeps me going. Well, that and the thousand some odd sugar cookies I've devoured this past month.

Merry Christmas!



More Ugly Pop Culture Christmas Sweaters!

Last year, I shared with you four ugly Christmas sweaters (well, sweatshirts to be more precise) based on pop culture icons from my childhood. They put a big smile on my face, because I love wearing ugly attire that still manages to keep me warm during the winter months. Well, my generous pals from 80sTees just sent me a brand new batch of their latest amazing ugly faux Christmas sweaters, so I clearly need to show you exactly what these designs look like. Let's start with the first one:

An ugly Christmas sweater featuring Superman and Batman trying to look serious!
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First up, we have Superman and Batman wishing you a Merry Christmas. I can't tell you how much I love this one, because they're both trying to look all tough and serious, but you simply can't look like a badass when you have a bunch of festive white and green snowflakes falling behind you. The best thing about this design isn't that Superman is wearing a Santa Claus hat, it's that Batman isn't. It's as if Superman spent hours convincing Batman to take a Christmas holiday photo with him, and when he pushed his luck by asking Batman to wear a Santa hat, Batman bluntly told him, "Fuck you." In fact, that's pretty much the only way I can imagine them improving this design... replace "Merry Christmas!" with "Fuck You."

An ugly Christmas sweater featuring Pac-Man, a Christmas tree, and an absurd amount of ghosts!
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Next, we have this nifty Pac-Man design, where elements from the maze in the arcade game have been altered to form a Christmas tree. Great idea! Now I get that they tried blending the ornaments in with the tree, but I would've loved to see them use some of the edibles from the game as ornaments instead. After all, strawberries and oranges make for some nice colorful decorations. Hell, they could even have Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man kissing under some mistletoe made from one of the cherries in the game. Or maybe they could've simply taken inspiration from the Christmas Comes To Pac-Land TV special and have Pac-Man helping out Santa. Then again, we're talking about ugly attire here, so I can see why they'd just overload it with far more ghosts than Pac-Man has ever had to chomp. So yeah, I'll still wear the hell outta this thing.

Hit the jump to see the other two sweaters! (more...)



Merry Friday The 13th!

Merry Friday The 13th! Jason Voorhees loves Christmas!
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Since we don't get to celebrate Friday the 13th in December very often, I had to take this opportunity to put my vintage Friday the 13th video store display out for the holidays. Forget the leg lamp... all I want to see is the hockey mask of Jason Voorhees glowing in my window come Christmas. I dunno about you, but I'd kill to see a Friday the 13th film (or Elm Street) set during Christmas, so all of the kills could be holiday-themed. Hollywood needs to get on this pronto, because the closest thing we have to a Christmas kill from Jason Voorhees is when he smashed that girl's icy cold face after freezing it in liquid nitrogen in Jason X.

Now we've certainly covered a hearty handful of holiday horrors here on I-Mockery over the years including the following:

Silent Night, Deadly Night
Jack Frost: The Mutant Killer Snowman
Jack Frost 2: The Return of the Mutant Killer Snowman
Black Christmas
Tales From The Crypt: And All Through The House
Santa's Slay

Of course, Christmas Vacation 2 and The Star Wars Holiday Special could be categorized as "horror" too, but for entirely different reasons.

So what about you? What are some of your favorite holiday-themed horror movies and what makes you love 'em so much? Any favorite scenes or quotes in particular? Drop a comment and lemme know!



Sugar Cookie Flavor Pebbles Cereal!

Since Christmas Crunch hasn't changed their box design once again this year, there's nothing new to report on the Cap'n. Fortunately, the Post company has delivered some new holiday cereal goods for all of us to give a try this season. Check it out:

Post Pebbles Sugar Cookie Cereal!
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Limited Edition Pebbles Sugar Cookie flavor cereal! The second I saw this at Target, I knew I had to try it. I'm a huuuge fan of Cocoa Pebbles, and Fruity Pebbles aren't too shabby either, so with it being the holiday season, this purchase was a no-brainer.

For starters, I'm totally sold on the box art here. You have Bamm-Bamm Rubble, Pebbles Flintstone, and Dino dressed in their best winter outfits being sucked into a swirling green Christmas snowflake vortex. That sort of action is usually reserved for blockbuster Hollywood films, and yet here we have it on the front of a goddamn cereal box. Dino in particular is looking great; he has a collar with jingle bells on it along with wooden reindeer antlers tied to his head. You know, every time I see Dino on a cereal box, it harkens me back to the glory days of Dino Pebbles - a cereal that had an insane marshmallow-to-cereal ratio.

Pebbles is also eating a big sugar cookie over the heaping bowl of cereal, as if to suggest that the crumbs from each bite she takes ends up falling into the bowl to flavor the cereal. Alright, perhaps it's not the most appetizing thing to picture, but come on... she's an adorable little cartoon character. I doubt you'll contract any diseases from eating her sugar cookie crumbles. Well, maybe diabetes.

Upon opening the box, you're hit with a strong sugary smell. I wouldn't say it makes me think of sugar cookies... it smells more like some combination of candy corn and marshmallows. It's hard to put my finger on it, but it's a familiar scent for sure, and a pretty good one at that. In fact, I wouldn't mind if they made air fresheners or scented seasonal candles outta this stuff.

A heaping bowl of Pebbles Sugar Cookie flavored cereal!
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The cereal itself is incredibly festive looking, with red, white, and green rice pebbles. Add some milk to that and you have your own personal edible winter wonderland in a cereal bowl. According to the ingredients, they used Red 40, Yellow 6, Blue 1, and Tumeric Oleoresin to achieve these colors. Only the magic of Christmas can bring a cereal company to bust out the ol' Tumeric. Seriously though, I really love how the cereal displays, and dare say it looks even better than Christmas Crunch.

While it looks good enough to feed to Santa, I'm not sure even his reindeer would want to partake in too much of the cereal. As nice as it smells, the cereal tastes a bit too artificial and chemical-ish. I know that shouldn't be surprising, considering it's a breakfast cereal made to taste like sugar cookies, but there are plenty of cookies and candies in the world that don't have a strong chemical flavoring. It's a good effort, and the cereal isn't bad per se, but after doing this taste test, it's just not something I'd want to eat for breakfast every morning. I'd rather just use it as a nice decoration. That said, they did include a snowflake treats recipe you can make by using the cereal if you do happen to be a fan of how it tastes.

Overall, Sugar Cookie Pebbles have a great presentation, and we can always use more combatants in the extremely limited holiday cereal arena, but the flavor leaves something to be desired. I'd rather have Cocoa Pebbles cereal, because I can eat 10 bowls of that stuff and still want more... especially since it turns the milk all chocolatey. In terms of holiday cereals, I'd have to recommend sticking with the classic Christmas Crunch as it still tastes the best of the bunch. The Cap'n will always treat you right... until he shreds the roof of your mouth. But it'll be worth it, because I'm sure he's doing it in the spirit of Christmas.

Oh, and remember when I said the sugar cookie cereal works better for Christmas decorations? I meant it:

Behold, my Pebbles Sugar Cookie Cereal Christmas Tree!
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I'm pretty sure my sugar cookie cereal Christmas tree art is worthy of a coveted spot on our refrigerator. Of course, the second I slam the fridge door shut, I know half of those cereal pebbles are gonna end up on the floor. Guess I'm just gonna have to frame it and put it up on the auction block instead. Who wants to start the bidding?


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