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My Top Tens For 2009… And More!
Well, this is a bit overdue, but I always like to share my Top Ten lists for movies, music, and video games every year. And I've finally come down off the Tibetan mountain after months of meditation, and here's what I've concluded:
Protoclown's Top Ten Movies of 2009:
1. Inglourious Basterds
2. Moon
3. Avatar
4. Black Dynamite
5. Star Trek
6. Sherlock Holmes
7. Zombieland
8. The Fantastic Mr. Fox
9. Coraline
10. The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus
Protoclown's Top Ten Albums of 2009: (more...)
Arkham Horror.
I'd been meaning to check out the Arkham Horror board game for a while, so I finally picked up a copy a few weeks ago and tested it out with some friends. At $60, it was one of those things I'd been reluctant to purchase without having played or seen demoed somewhere, but after reading enough positive reviews on Amazon and Board Game Geek, I just decided "what the hell" and dropped the money on it. Besides, it's a Fantasy Flight Game, and with stuff put out by that company, you know you're at least getting quality in terms of the board, pieces, etc.
Based on H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos, the premise of this game is that you're an occult investigator in 1920s Arkham, Massachusetts, and one of the Great Old Ones is on the verge of waking from its slumber and treating the world like a yummy chew toy. Portals to other freaky dimensions start opening up at various unstable locations throughout the city, and you have to explore these other dimensions so you can come back out and close the portals, fighting monsters and searching for clues every step of the way. If too many portals remain open unchecked, the Ancient One awakens and then you're fucked.
One of my favorite things about this game is that it's cooperative, which is very unusual for board games. In the core game, up to 8 players can team up to stop the awakening of the Ancient One, and believe me, it's in your best interest to work with the other players and help them out, because if you screw up, the Ancient One awakens and then you have one last feeble attempt at stopping it before you all die and everyone loses. This whole "all of us versus the game" mechanic is interesting, and results in a different playing experience from most free-for-all or team games. (more...)
Disney To Ruin Marvel Comics.
As an avid comic fan, I was terrified when I read the news this morning about Marvel Comics being bought by Disney. Horrific images immediately popped into my head: Mickey Mouse and Goofy joining the Avengers, Donald Duck teaming up with Wolverine to take down the Dr. Doom/Cruella de Vil alliance, and Scrooge McDuck becoming the new head of S.H.I.E.L.D.
I'm no fan of Disney, mostly because I'm older than five, so I'm a bit worried about how they might fuck up some of my favorite comic book properties. If they've any sense at all, they'll leave Marvel alone to do what they've been doing creatively, much the way Time Warner has handled DC Comics after acquiring it. But given that Disney is a huge mega-corporation, I know full well that they can't possibily have any sense at all.
So now I wonder what horrors are coming our way down the road. Will they impose bizarre editorial edicts that make Quesada's anti-smoking rule seem reasonable by comparison? Will they eventually dissolve the Marvel brand entirely, so I have to stomach buying comics with that shitty, childish Disney logo plastered on them? Will they mandate crossovers with existing Disney properties? The last thing I want to see is some horrible "Kingdom Hearts" kind of situation where a bunch of soft, fat, giggly Disney characters are rubbing elbows with the likes of Wolverine and Magneto. It sends chills down my spine, I tells ya.
A friend of mine pointed out that the best case scenario means they might introduce some cool new Marvel-themed rides and exhibits in their theme parks. Worst case is they'll remove any and all adult appeal these comics and characters have by trying to "kiddiefy" everything. What are you guys' hopes and fears for this partnership?
ALSO: I am planning a Longbox column about the most "Halloweeny" comic characters. Obviously Scarecrow, Green Goblin and Hobgoblin quickly come to mind. If you have any suggestions you'd like to see appear in the article (I make no guarantees), feel free to post them here!
Ladies & Gentlemen, I Present You “Henching”.
Many moons ago, I said I was putting together a comic book to have ready for the 2009 San Diego Comic-Con. Believe it or not, I wasn't lying. Through the help of this very blog, I hooked up with my wonderful artist, a talented Canadian named Sharon (check out her Deviantart page here) who had just the style and wit I was searching for. This is a project that has consumed us both (her far more than me) for the last several months, and I am thrilled to report that the comic will be printed and ready in time for the Con!
Seeing as how I'm promoting this book at the I-Mockery table and on the I-Mockery site, it seemed appropriate that I do a humor book, one which parodies the superhero genre and makes fun of many of the typical cheesy conventions you see in those comics. This book follows four friends who happen to hench for various ridiculous super villains, as they reminisce on all of the bullshit they've had to put up with in their daily lives working for those idiots and assholes.
It's a black and white book (due to time and money constraints) and it'll cost ya three duckets, because I want to be able to pay my artist decently for her hard work. The initial print run will be available at the SDCC at I-Mockery's table #A10, and following that you'll be able to purchase it online, so don't worry if you can't make it out to the Con. You'll still be able to buy the book. And if there's enough interest, a color printing is certainly possible in the future (assuming Sharon wants to do it).
I had a damn good time writing it, and an even better time watching Sharon bring the words in my script to life. After all this time writing about comics, it's about time I got off my ass and actually wrote one myself. I hope you guys enjoy this thing even a fraction as much as I enjoyed seeing it all come together.
I Need An Artist, Stat!
This was supposed to be a surprise to be announced shortly before the Comic-Con, but since my local artist friends are all too swamped with their own projects to meet the deadline, and without an artist these kinds of things don't happen, I turn to the internet for assistance.
I am writing a 20-page comic book that I hope to have for sale at the I-Mockery table at the San Diego Comic-Con this year (which will also be available for purchase online, after the con, for those of you who can't make it this year). However, since scripts alone aren't exactly exciting material for the average reader, I am in need of an artist to help me see this vision through.
A couple things you should know: (more...)
The Best Feeling In The World.
After many painstaking minutes of research, I have discovered what the greatest feeling in the world is. Are you prepared for me to drop this knowledge on you? Do you think you can handle it? You may be surprised by its sheer simplicity. But therein lies its power. And the best part is, we've all experienced it.
It is better than winning the lottery (or so my research tells me). Better than drugs. Even better than receiving head from a surprisingly skilled nun. (more...)
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