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Happy Halloween! I-Mockery Zombies on CSI: NY “Boo” Episode Tonight!

I've been pulling all-nighters for the past two weeks more or less and I'm dead tired, but looking forward to going out for Halloween tonight... ALL night! I don't have much time to post, so I'll make this fast.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN everybody! Hope you all have a great time out there doing whatever it is you do tonight... whether you're trick-or-treating, at a Halloween party or just watching some horror movies... enjoy it! This night comes only once a year and it's the most important night of 'em all (don't argue with me on this, it's not an opinion, it's a fact.) (more...)



AMC’s Monsterfest is finally here!

AMC's Monsterfest is back!

Good news horror fans! For the next 10 days and nights, from now until Halloween, AMC's "Monsterfest" schedule is playing nothing but horror movies 24/7. There's some great ones and some awful ones that they'll be airing, but I'm sure I'll have plenty of 'em turned on while I'm working on the site. Just today, starting at 7am they had The Curse of the Living Corpse, Creepshow, Children of the Corn 1 & 2, Psycho, Poltergeist II, and more and I couldn't be happier about seeing them on regular TV. What is it about watching horror movies on TV in October? It doesn't matter which ones are on, you just can't help but sit and watch them... even if you already own them on DVD and know you could see them unedited, without any commercials... you still watch them on regular cable during October. All I know is that hearing the zombie in Creepshow say, "Where's my cake? I want my caaaaake" in that awesomely raspy voice is pretty much the best thing you can wake up to early in the morning. Keep rockin' the Halloween season AMC. Thanks for not lettin' us horror fans down. (btw, for those of you who want to know exactly what they'll be showing the rest of the month, here's their schedule) (more...)



A boneheaded mix-up at Target, plus I-Mockery’s Ultimate Guide to the Halloween Candies of 2007!

As you know by now, there are all kinds of fantastic seasonal Halloween goodies at Target once again this year. But me thinks they have some lazy quality inspectors working for 'em too, because lookee what I found there:

Uhhhhhh, if those are hands, then my hands must be mice.

Funny looking "Bone Hands" aren't they? Yeah, that's because some geniuses put the wrong backing on the package. Unless "Bone Hands" is a hip new way to describe little rodents, I'm thinkin' they screwed up. And this wasn't the only package, there were a bunch of 'em with the same error. Even if this wasn't an error, I got screwed on the deal because it clearly states on the package that there should be an "8 Count" of the Bone Hands I only got 6. But hey, maybe some of you can help me verify that this is in fact a mistake on their part. If any of you own a pet snake that eats mice as part of its diet, the next time you go to the pet store to stock up on them, just go in and say, "Excuse me. I'm all out of food for my pet boa snake... do you have any Bone Hands in stock?" Be sure to let me know what their response is.

So I hope you all enjoyed the "Halloween Candy Week" last week, I sure had a good time doing it and I'm still high as a kite on all those sugary sweets. For those of you who missed out on it, fret not, for it's all up online for you to see now in "I-Mockery's Ultimate Guide to the Halloween Candies of 2007". I still might add some more candies onto the list by the end of the month, but for now I think it's pretty damned comprehensive. Besides, there are more pressing matters to attend to at the moment.

For one thing, I've got our annual "Select Your Destiny" Halloween story to wrap up with the guys. It won't be quite as long as last year's mega-story due to how frequently we've been updating the site this season with so much content, but it should still satisfy more than a Snickers. There's also another Count Pop adventure which many of you have asked about already... so yeah, I'm happy to confirm that one of those is definitely in the works. I never know what I'm gonna end up doing for those things, but that's part of the fun of it all his rockabilly radness. Of course, we'll have plenty of other fun Halloween content going up on the site 'til the very end of this month too along with another contest, so be sure to keep checking back for it.

And finally, my biggest surprise of the Halloween season will be an epic Flash game that should keep you guys busy for quite a while. If you enjoyed our Haunted House Candy Hunt game from last year, this one will amaze you so much that you'll want to thank me by stuffing all your credits cards into an envelope and sending them to me as a gift (something I highly encourage btw). We just finished the demo version of it earlier tonight and I couldn't be happier with how it's going so far. I swear, making video games has got to be one of the most satisfying things I ever get to do. It's a fuck-ton of work, but it's fun work and there's nothing cooler than seeing people's reactions to the finished product. I could say the same about all the articles 'n stuff I do on this site, but the games require even more time, so I guess they're extra special to me. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I want to marry them, ok? Ok.


In a rare bit of non-Halloween news, I just finished my Level 2 improv class with the Upright Citizens Brigade. From what I've been told, it's the hardest level of all the classes, and I'm inclined to believe it. After getting back from one of those 3-hour classes, it's easy to feel really mentally wiped out. There's just a lot of paying attention you have to do, which I suppose is ironic since one of UCB's main slogans is "Don't Think". Anyway, I guess it's good that I learned a lot and survived the level 2 course since a lot o' people supposedly drop out (I think we only had one guy drop out of our class this time). I'm definitely looking forward to moving on to the next classes, but I probably won't start level 3 until after October is done with.

Ok that's all for now, gotta get back to more writing for the site. Hope you all caught the big gallery of 100+ photos (and a few video clips) from the Halloween Horror Nights and Eyegore Awards Scaremoney show. I'm still thinking of going back there a 2nd time because it was so much friggin' fun. What more could a horror fan want than to be thrown headfirst into the worlds of Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees and Leatherface and still live to talk about it? If I'm sure of anything so far this season, it's that Halloween is alive and well my friends... Halloween is alive and well. Hope you're all making the best of it!



Halloween Candy Week! Plus, Re Sings “Everyday Is Halloween”!

In addition to our regular articles on I-Mockery, next week will be Halloween Candy Week! Every day next week I will be putting up a new page for "I-Mockery's Ultimate Guide to the Halloween Candies of 2007". That's right, the best and worst candies of the 2007 Halloween season will be reviewed on the site so you can decide which ones to look for and which ones to avoid like the black plague. So yeah, expect quite a sugar high all next week... unless of course, I pass out from eating too much candy, in which case there will be no updates at all. And if you notice there are no updates on the site, please call an ambulance because it probably means that I'm in a candy coma.

In other news, Re has decided to give you an extra special Halloween treat this month! My friends, I'm proud to present for your listening and viewing pleasure, a video featuring her very own rendition of the classic Ministry tune "Everyday Is Halloween":

"well I live with snakes and lizards
and other things that go bump in the night
cuz to me everyday is halloween
I have given up hiding and started to fight
I have started to fight

well any time, any place, anywhere that I go
all the people seem to stop and stare
they say 'why are you dressed like it's halloween?
you look so absurd, you look so obscene'

o, why can't I live a life for me?
why should I take the abuse that's served?
why can't they see they're just like me
it's the same, it's the same in the whole wide world

well I let their teeny minds think
that they're dealing with someone who is over the brink
and I dress this way just to keep them at bay
cus halloween is everyday
it's everyday

o, why can't I live a life for me?
why should I take the abuse that's served?
why can't they see they're just like me
it's the same, it's the same in the whole wide world

Mmm, bop bop bop!"