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I-Mockery’s Keyword Guessing Game!

When Halloween rolls around, I start looking around for horror movies to feature on the site. Finding the good ones used to be a big hassle, but that was before I discovered a new feature on IMDB: plot keywords.

The plot keywords feature is a list of words and phrases that sum up the many different parts of a film's plot. In theory. In practice, what you have is a list that starts out with a few important phrases, but then grows as people add more and more words to the list until every pointless detail in the movie is documented. For example, the list for Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone includes keywords like "chess," "breakfast," and "untucked shirt flap". In all fairness, the state of the uniforms at Hogwarts did weigh pretty heavily on the plot.

But seeing all these ridiculous lists gave me an idea for a little quiz.

I'll give you a handful of different plot keywords that describe a horror movie that we've featured on the site at one point or another, and you have to guess which one! Sounds easy, right? Well wipe that smirk off your face because things are about to get real. Real SCARY!

Let's start off with an easy one:

- Hot Pants
- Lesbian Kiss
- Wrestler

Give up? It's...

Don't tell him pro wrestling is fake!

Okay, okay, let's do a tougher one now:

- Dead Boy
- Bar Brawl
- Chemical
- Motel
- Mutant

This one's much more recent. It's...


Personally, I think they should take "mutant" out of the list and replace it with "budget zombie", but let's move on:

- Old Man
- Crude Humor
- Escape
- Quest
- Pink Car

That last one's a dead giveaway...

Rowdy Roddy Piper vs. Senor Frog
Hell Comes to Frogtown!

I ask you, what is so crude about having three different shots of a man crying out as his private parts are electrocuted?

All right, I feel bad about the last two being so obvious. For the next one, let's get a little obtuse:

- Aquarium
- Cleaning
- Kicked in the Crotch
- Father Son Relationship
- Solidarity

It sounds so familiar, doesn't it? That's because it's...

Not Pictured:  Ichi the Killer
Ichi the Killer!

Remember that great scene at the aquarium where father and son join together to kick the janitor in the balls? Takashi Miike is a genius!

Okay, this is the final film. These keywords are tough, so you've got seven hints instead of just five:

- Siren
- Evil Man
- Argument
- Enemy
- Teamwork
- Food Wrapper
- Hat

If you didn't guess as "teamwork", you definitely got it with "food wrapper". It's...

Quick! Back to the hood!

Oh sure, you might think those were bad hints for a movie so focused on a single idea that the one-word title says it all, but aren't they? The Leprechaun was an evil little man who was an enemy to Jennifer Aniston and friends, he was wearing a hat, their arguments gave way to teamwork, the police arrived at the end, and... you know... somebody ate some fast food? Look, I don't remember every single scene, but there had to be one food wrapper somewhere in the movie. Otherwise, how would it wind up a plot keyword?



The Wave.

Here at I-Mockery, our readership typically skews pretty young. That's why I come to you now with an educational opportunity. Don't worry, this won't take long, and I guarantee this will be a very important bit of knowledge. This is for all the young drivers out there, as well as for those of you who just haven't figured out how to drive at (I'm looking at you, city of Los Angeles). I'm going to tell you about an important driving maneuver that you aren't going to hear or read about in Driver's Ed: The Wave. (more...)




I love video games. I don't know if that's come across yet, given that I've done articles about sexual moments in games, rom hacks, and a host of other issues, but in case you haven't gotten that message from me, I do love games. Even more when I can get a friend or two involved. Years back, however, a friend of mine told me something that left me utterly confused. (more...)



Quesada On Colbert

I hardly ever feel compelled to write about comics, but when I do, let me tell you, I enjoy it. I don't read that many myself, but occasionally, I'll find something remarkable that even a comic neophyte like me can latch onto. That something came a few nights ago on The Colbert Report.

As fans of the show may know, Steve Rogers, aka Captain America (may he rest in peace) bequeathed his symbolic shield to Stephen after he was killed in an ill-conceived storyline by Marvel Comics. Well Marvel Editor in Chief Joe Quesada has good news, kind of: Captain America is coming back! Well, let me be more specific: the superhero Captain America is coming back, but the guy who portrayed him is still dead. Instead, the role of Cap will be played by his old sidekick-turn-villain, Bucky "Winter Soldier" Barnes. I guess it's better than having the Punisher as the new Captain America. (more...)



The License Plate

Anybody catch the number of that plate?

It's very uncommon for me to see anything particularly noteworthy on my drive home from work. Yesterday, however, I saw something quite unusual, and it was on the car in front of me at the entrance to the highway. It was far more eye-catching than any bumper sticker, though it could be found in the same general area. You see, the license plate on the car in front of me is what caught my attention. (more...)



Golden Globes canceled!? Oh noes!!!

Golden Globes Cancelled! Oh no? Yay? Meh?

Recently, one of my coworkers informed me that the Golden Globe awards had been canceled. Obviously I was positively distraught. How, I asked him, will I be able to go about my daily routine knowing that I'm going to miss the Golden Globes this year? He then tried to explain to me that the Golden Globes is a very important event that "affects everyone." I was curious, so I asked how it was going to affect, say, me for example. He backpedaled and explained that he was talking about the entertainment industry, and so I concluded that it has no effect on people outside the industry. Not so, he assured me, and soon, all the people around me were trying to explain just how important both the Golden Globes and the Oscars are to not just the entertainment industry, but the entire world. (more...)


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