NinjaRygar (Guest) on 07/14/2008 5:35 am

I don't think Boston sucks, or most of those other bands either.

Everybody has different taste in music... so... some people might notice trends in the names of bands they like or dislike.

Jer (Guest) on 07/14/2008 6:20 am

I don't know if it's a trend, exactly, but when you have a band called Accidental Goat Sodomy, you KNOW there's something wrong......

Me (Guest) on 07/14/2008 6:41 am

The band '3' are awesome so that ruins the number trend.

Ronin S on 07/14/2008 7:25 am

Linkin Park is a place? Unless your life really does suck, you're out of excuses for listening to them when you're over 18.

For those of you who want to form your own band, here's a few name suggestions:

Liquid Muffin Top
You Have Bad Taste
Barley and Hops

Butch Please (Guest) on 07/14/2008 8:26 am

Well, I guess I'm in the minority, but the bands you named wouldn't come to mind as sucktastic. Except for Linkin Park, and Alabama because of the whole "country music" thing. Boston were great arena rock, with some great catchy songs. Just because a band was popular in the 70's doesn't automatically make them suck.

I guess I'm not "indy" enough to agree with this one. Or maybe it's just because I'm old. Oh well. Keep your Of Montreals and Sleater-Kinneys, the pretension just kills me (not from you, Proto, just the bands and their style). I'll stick with the classic rawk.

Tom Foolery on 07/14/2008 8:28 am

These are a few band names I've come up with over the years that will probably never be found on an album cover:

Harvey Ky-Tel Takes Tokyo
Captain Dracula in the Daylight
Banjo Bob and the Golden Bullet Boys
Mizzen Mast!
Dirty Towel
Bastard Himmel Weisenheimer
Free Beer
PAX-14

weston (Guest) on 07/14/2008 8:41 am

If you had a band named Butt, would you be required to do an unplugged album?

weston (Guest) on 07/14/2008 8:43 am

oh, and what about the E Street Band?

kirk2000 on 07/14/2008 8:58 am

Boston is far better than Europe. Also, Kansas was not directly named for the state. They were a British prog-rock band that named themselves Kansas in a reference to the Wizard of Oz. Also they have one of the best album titles ever with "Leftoverture."

Colonel Flagg on 07/14/2008 9:51 am

Actually, K2K, the band Kansas was founded in the state of Kansas in the '70's - hence the name. I agree that they are not necessarily "sucktastic" but their decidedly messianic lyrics and religious pretensions make them a difficult listen for typical headbangers. I'd submit they are they best Christian-rock band I've ever heard, and leave it at that.

Boston had a good first album, then dropped off the face of the planet with their two followups. Same with Chicago, except they kept cranking out craptastic album after craptastic album. I guess they didn't get the memo.

BM3 (Guest) on 07/14/2008 10:15 am

The Mighty Mighty Bostones is named after Boston and Oasis is named after a British Nightclub, and I like them. Id also like to echo the fact that Kansas, Boston, Alabama(at least in my opinion, Chicago and especially the E Street Band all should be considered great bands, not sucktastic. Sorry proto, ur usually spot-on but I gotta disagree this time

Angryhydralisk on 07/14/2008 10:19 am

You totally forgot the band AMERICA.

Speaking of bad names, what's up with every genericrock band with three or four wanked out words in their name?

Coheed on Cambria?
Bullet For My Valentine?

Still, imagine if they all named themselves after Nirvana or Melvins (Whoops, too late!) songs.

monsterforge (Guest) on 07/14/2008 10:35 am

Yeah... You lost me on this one too. I like most of the bands you listed as sucktastic. Maybe liking sucktastic bands is a curse of being an old fart like me. Who knows?

L (Guest) on 07/14/2008 10:49 am

dude you listened to Static X, Rob Zombie and fucking Disturbed....i think its safe to say someone listening to Hot Topic rock should maybe ease off other peoples shitty band names.

im suprised Insane (cock gobbling) Clown Posse hasnt been reviewed yet

T (Guest) on 07/14/2008 11:00 am

Boston is most definitely not sucktastical

chris (Guest) on 07/14/2008 12:01 pm

thesharkbook.com/blog/2008/07/25-horrible-bands-named-after-places.html

Here's a great list of 25 Horrible Bands Named After Places!

Mister Tea on 07/14/2008 12:22 pm

Boston and Kansas are sucktastic bands? Get the fuck outta here. Seriously, just pack your bags and go.

Don't get me wrong, I think Disturbed and Rob Zombie are alright; but no one will still be listening to them in 20 years. Classic rock is classic in the same way that Mozart and Bach are classic; there's no such thing as "relevance" in rock.

And don't give me that "generation gap" bullshit, because lots of the old-timers who were fans of this stuff growing up wisely passed on their taste in music to their kids. I know my dad did, and I'm forever grateful for that. Otherwise, I'd have probably ended up as some cliche-spouting, FUBU-clad douchbag who listens to Top 40 and hip-hop or worse, an uptight snob who thinks listening to indie rock is a good way to appear smart without actually having to KNOW shit. And really: If I wanted to do that, I'd just pretend not to own a television; I'd still get to look smart with the bonus of not giving a fuck who Modest Mouse or The White Stripes are.

I'm not going to go trashing the bands you named as acceptible, because your platform for doing so -that being, "You like it"- is pretty much unassailable. All I ask is you extend that courtesy to the rest of us, a'ight?

baron von squarehelm (Guest) on 07/14/2008 12:31 pm

I submit that there are just a lot of plain old sucktastic bands to begin with, so there are bound to be large numbers of said sucktastic bands with similarly themed names. If you're looking for a pattern, you'll find one.

Side note: When I was younger I really wanted to start a doom metal band and name it Girthquake, just so I could title the first EP "7 Inches Is Hardly A Record".

-RoG- on 07/14/2008 12:59 pm

"dude you listened to Static X, Rob Zombie and fucking Disturbed"

Actually, I think you're confusing Protoclown with Dr. Boogie there. I'm not sure if Proto listens to any of those bands or not.

As for musical tastes, everybody has their own, but you shouldn't take offense if somebody thinks a band you like is sucktacular. A lot of people absolutely HATE some of the music I listen to, but I could care less... it's not like their hatred of the band is a personal attack on me.

vinic (Guest) on 07/14/2008 1:06 pm

Oh Proto. Why have you wronged Boston and Chicago so?

Butch Please (Guest) on 07/14/2008 1:11 pm

I don't know why I was somewhat surprised at the fact that Proto would have a problem with classic rock. I seem to recall an entire article written to deride fans of bands who wear band T-Shirts to shows. Lots of talk about "don't be THAT guy. We are too cool..." and "my Gorgol Bordello t-shirt really draws some attention". To me, anyone who accuses someone else of being "THAT GUY" needs to not be "THAT GUY". Musical snobbery sucks.

Silver on 07/14/2008 1:16 pm

I for one consider Linking Park a sucky band.

Sinkyl (Guest) on 07/14/2008 1:28 pm

[Butch Please] = insert foot.

Sinkyl (Guest) on 07/14/2008 1:29 pm

On the upside, it's really common for people with foot-in-mouth disease to have really clean toenails, so if your judgemental and overly defensive other ever has a problem with you cutting your toenails, you can just show him/it the fantastic gleam off your pinky toenail and they'll hush right up.

Butch Please (Guest) on 07/14/2008 1:37 pm

"
Sinkyl (Guest) on 07/14/2008 1:28 pm

[Butch Please] = insert foot. "

Please explain, how did I put my foot in my mouth? By stating my opinion that musical snobbery sucks? Or by not agreeing with Proto's assessment that classic rock sucks?

MorbidCam (Guest) on 07/14/2008 1:39 pm

L, ICP are actually quite a good band, been a Juggalo for a long long time, even got the hatchetman tattooed on me, but to each their own, but we all need to stop insulting each other's music tastes, I don't even know hardly any of the bands mentioned, but they probably do suck.

briny bill on 07/14/2008 1:45 pm

i for one like kansas

briny bill on 07/14/2008 1:46 pm

and some of blink182

MikeeTeevee (Guest) on 07/14/2008 2:14 pm

Bush. I always found them so whiney and bland. They're named after Shepherds Bush in London, where they lived before they got famous enough to make it difficult to ignore their music.

Grossenschwamm on 07/14/2008 3:32 pm

The Backstreet Boys are named after Back Street Market, this shopping area in Florida. They are indeed suck-tastic and quite possibly douche-riffic.
Also, O-Town, named for Orlando.

guywhosmokestoomuch (Guest) on 07/14/2008 3:49 pm

Wow. This article is pretty dead on accurate. Actually, one of my favorite albums ever was the "Warsaw" demo recorded by Joy Division. "They Walk In Line" is one of my favorite songs ever ever ever. Also, I recently found a Pavement cover of a Joy Division song that made me very happy, although I cannot recall the song right now.

I saw Boston live (with free tickets) not long ago. It was the absolute most boring fucking show I've ever seen. Talk about a group of musicians who seems to not give a fuck that they are onstage. So blah. In another note, I won a free trip to see Warper Tour from a local radio station (including a meet and gret with awful pop-emo bitches Angels and Airwaves) and instead used the hotel accomodations to spend a couple of days on the beach. A much better decision I must say, although I do regret not seeing Dillinger Escape Plan as I haven't yet, although the other 99 bands performing were pure shit.

It seems to me that Protoclown has a much better taste in music than the people who've responded so far. Also, thanks for bashing 311. One of the best songs ever is Anal Cunt's "311 Sucks."

Icculus on 07/14/2008 3:50 pm

7 mary 3 was a decent bad. I liked cumbersome.

There is also the horrible trend that likes to use a day of the week.

Taking back sunday
Thursday

Usually crap that kids think is all deep and it just turns out that the reason your dad "just doesn't get it" is becasue you wear eyeliner, paint your nails, and wear womens jeans. Granted I wore patchwork pants and tour t-shirts (sometimes of the band I was seeing) but I never got in a fight with my sister over who stole my lipstick.

Tom the Bomb (Guest) on 07/14/2008 4:06 pm

Bruce Springstien's band is called:
THE EAST STREET BAND
If you think they suck, you are a communist!
And how about:
CYPRUS HILL
If you think they suck, you're a punk-ass.
THE LOS ANGELES PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA
THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL ORCHESTRA
etc...
Sorry man, you have music-rabies.

Lobo Tommy on 07/14/2008 4:36 pm

Pretty much any Pyschedelic band name was awesome.

" "
Dragonfly
The Still Roven
The Orange Wedge
The Human Expresssion

Even Lincoln Street Exit makes amazing music, and they are named after a place.

Somebody find me a Pyschadelic band name that sucks and they win the internet.

rocko (Guest) on 07/14/2008 6:57 pm

linkin park's first album, i gotta admit, got me a little hooked. now i cant listen to them anymore. anyways, here's some craptastic names from bands, and correct me if im wrong, but they sound like they come from emo bands (which i truly dislike):
taking back sunday
fall out boy
bowling for soup
cute is what we aim for
death cab for cutie

weston (Guest) on 07/14/2008 7:13 pm

what about Lil' ________ rappers?

alittlebirdytoldmeso on 07/14/2008 7:47 pm

I always thought Garbage was an hilarious name for a band.
My little brother: "What are you listening to?"
Me: "Garbage"
My little brother: "But what is it's name?"
Hilarity ensues.

Oh, and America is totally awesome thereby making the theory a complete bust in my opinion.

Poop on a Stick (Guest) on 07/14/2008 8:28 pm

How about a band named "Poop On A Stick"? Instant success guaranteed even if the only instrument members could play were kazoos.

I could also go for the name "Brand Max Burbank". Imagine his face on a t-shirt... arenas would sell out and those tees would be out of stock at Target all the time I'm tellin' you.

Ferrit on 07/14/2008 10:10 pm

I've always thought that Tuna Juice would be a pretty cool band name. But then again, I've been awake for 48 hours eating mayonnaise.

HeroliciousDeBlanc on 07/14/2008 10:20 pm

well i like boston's greatest hits cd, but then again, ive never seen them in concert, so maybe they are boring and craptastic live.

and when the mood is right ill definitely listen to Boyz II men and the jackson 5. and on a different note, UB40.

BurntToShreds on 07/14/2008 10:27 pm

My friend is in a band that was previously named "I'd go With the Helmet", but then one of them decided to changed it to something less awesome. :(

Protoclown on 07/14/2008 11:05 pm

Okay, most of you guys realized that these are just my opinions and brushed them off if you disagreed with them, but those of you who actually got offended must not have a lot of confidence in your own taste. I'm sure I listen to bands you guys would hate too, and I'm not really losing sleep about it.

Me: There's a band called 3? I don't know about their music, but they've got a shit name, that's for sure.

Butch: I never said I hate all music from the 70s. I just don't like those bands. There's plenty of classic rock I like, such as CCR, Bruce Springsteen, The Rolling Stones, The Doors, Pink Floyd, The Who, Queen, Black Sabbath, and The Beatles if they count.

Weston: I love the E Street Band. I wasn't even thinking of them when I wrote this, but they are exempt. Going to see them play with Bruce about a month from now, and I can't wait.

L: Uh, no I don't listen to Static-X or Disturbed. I listen to Rob Zombie, but I have absolutely no interest in the other two. Hi, you may not realize this, but I am a distinct person separate from Rog, Max Burbank, and Dr. Boogie. We are not alternate personalities in one body, as those with poor reading comprehension often think. And yes, Inane Clown Posse sucks balls.

chris: Thanks for posting that link. I'm a little weirded out that it went up the same day as this blog entry. Strange coincidence there.

Mister Tea: Again, I do not listen to Disturbed. I never have, and I couldn't name a single song of theirs if you offered me money to do so. Also, I never brought up any kind of "generation gap" so I don't know where that is coming from. I don't mind if you do trash the bands I like. Doesn't matter to me one bit, so if you don't like them, trash away!

Butch Please: I don't have a problem with classic rock, unless the small handful of bands I specifically mentioned are the only ones that count as "classic rock". If you can find where I said that I do have a problem with it, I will retire, and you can have my job writing for the site. It even pays. Oh, and I totally agree about musical snobbery sucking. The only thing worse than that is someone who has shit taste.

Icculus: Ooh, the days of the week is a good one! There are several bands named after days of the week that suck, though I do like The Sundays.

Tom the Bomb: Pretty sure you mean the E Street Band there, chief, and yes, they are awesome, unless you are talking about some crazy, totally made up only existing in your head band, in which case they probably suck. And yes, I was totally thinking that orchestras that don't even have proper names but are merely identified by their place of origin belong on the list, because that is completely a sane and reasonable thing to think, I assure you.

porkboy on 07/15/2008 3:12 am

I've never precisely understood people's umbrage towards 311 for a couple of reasons a)they've never really been popular enough to register on the average radar and b)they try much harder than bands like 3 doors down (or nickelback) to create enjoyable music (except transistor which consisted of good ideas but went horribly wrong). Well, at least you can tell 311 from Rage Against the Machine from ICP as opposed to "Jesus Christ! Is this Fall Out Boy or Fucking Panic! At The Disco?" I can't defend them to the gates of hell but I get into a fucking groove with said band, unlike aforementioned 3 doors down.

Also, maybe Joy Division is better than I truly know, but after hearing the full version of "Love Will Tear Us Apart" I'm not sure I could put myself up to the punishment of any more of them. At least the Cure gave us a little "Just Like Heaven" to balance out their gloomier offerings.

porkboy on 07/15/2008 3:15 am

Yeah the band 3 is pretty interesting group, but how the fuck do you do the google search? Also, there are multiple entries for bands named "3" if you do the wikipedia search.

val (Guest) on 07/15/2008 3:32 am

Best band name ever:
Slick Willie and the Brown Bombers

Dimnos on 07/15/2008 10:25 am

Lead singers that were in a good band but then dropped out to start a solo career suck balls. Its as if they hit a point of being to cocky that they quit trying.

copacetic on 07/15/2008 10:35 am

Sleater-Kinney belongs in the same pantheon as any of the "classic" bands mentioned. If most rock listeners weren't sexists, S-K's music would be considered as timeless and kickass as the rest for years to come.

MorbidCam (Guest) on 07/15/2008 10:37 am

Proto, what is the problem with ICP? they are cool, don't worry I'm not offended just wondering, even if you do dislike them you still write awesome articles.

Guest (Guest) on 07/15/2008 11:07 am

This is just a lazy article, I'm sorry to say. I realize these are all your opinions but realistically Boston, Chicago, Kansas and arguably Alabama do not suck. They're very successful bands with creative songs. Chicago especially bringing in aspects like trumpets and a "bigger band" feel.

Do you guys have some quota to make here at i-mockery making you wake up and think "hmm I need to post something really quick... well, maybe a little blurb about some trend that doesn't exist!"

Butch Please (Guest) on 07/15/2008 12:00 pm

To my fellow I-Mockery...ers,

Just wanted to apologize if I came off in some earlier comments as a whiny internet bitch complainer. Reading my own comments, I really sounded like one of the geeks for which I have so much disdain. I was having a bad day at work, so sue me.

Proto, I dig your style, I like your articles. I may not agree with your taste in music (the bands listed here, anyway), but it was still a fun little article to read and get a little debate going. These articles are opinion pieces, after all.

Dr. Robert (Guest) on 07/15/2008 12:05 pm

Protoclown, I disagree regarding the numbers thing. Galaxie 500, Death from Above 1979, Front 242, Spacemen 3, and Zero 7 all counteract the awfulness of the ones you listed.

Mister Tea on 07/15/2008 12:43 pm

The "generation gap" thing was a pre-emptive strike, and not necessarily against you; we have to do this because anytime we try to defend classic rock, someone always says something about its being "irrelevant." See, worrying about whether or not a band is "edgy" or "with the times" leads to unnatural occurences like the popularity of, say, Bruce Springsteen; an annoying, preachy dipshit who basically sets proletarian whining to generic arena rock (while himself being a millionaire many times over).

You don't like those other bands? That's fine. As long as you're aware that Springsteen totally eats dick, it all works out. As far as I'm concerned, The Boss can get his own fucking coffee.

Mister Tea on 07/15/2008 12:55 pm

"well i like boston's greatest hits cd, but then again, ive never seen them in concert, so maybe they are boring and craptastic live."

You've got a point there; most established musicians tend to phone it in nowadays because they know fans will eat it up either way. Well, maybe not Boston anymore, because Brad Delp committed suicide. See, Proto? You don't just trash bands; you mock the dead!

Me, I'd rather just go to tribute band concerts; they're cheaper, you can usually drink, and they often sound a hell of a lot more the original than the actual original does.

supportive fan (Guest) on 07/15/2008 1:13 pm

Dimnos: Sometimes it does work out well for them, though, so I can't argue with them. For example, if Sting sucks balls on his own, he's getting paid very, very well to do it, so whether one likes him or not, you can't argue with his reasoning.

Of course, all of the of other lead singers have gone off to bomb horrifically, so you still cover a lot of stinkers with your statement quite well.

Peter (Guest) on 07/15/2008 1:20 pm

Aside from Boston and Asia, I think those other bands suck.

Dimnos on 07/15/2008 2:27 pm

Never in my life have I ever been part of or even heard about this conversation...

"Man this rocsk! Who is this?"

"Boston"

"Oh yea! Boston rocks!"

nilus on 07/15/2008 2:37 pm

I think everyone is entitled to there opinions about music.

I for one think Rob Zombie should focus on his music and stop making shitty ass movies.

I also believe that anyone who actually likes the ICP should be shot. Those referring to themselves as Juggaloes should be shot twice and then hung as a warning to others.

But then again thats just me

scrotum (Guest) on 07/15/2008 2:55 pm

I don't find place named bands shit but I have noticed the rise in brutal Death Metal bands who call themselves the most fucked up thing they can i.e "Extreme Diarrhoea Vomiting" or "Necro-sadistic Lamb Fisting" or whatever. They're usually total crap.

Lobo Tommy on 07/15/2008 3:01 pm

I think too many people like classic rock and it's really just gotten boring. The Rolling Stones got awful after Jones died, but people still suck the dried teet of Jaggar and Richards. It's an unwritten rule that no one can say anything bad about classic rock.

CaTlaloc on 07/15/2008 3:16 pm

Best Band Name EVER (next to Accidental Goat Sodomy): Bozo's Porn Circus. Lame band, but what a name....

polyester slacks of doom (Guest) on 07/15/2008 3:28 pm

I must vouch for 70's and 80's rock, although it reveals my advanced my age. Alice Cooper, Def Leppard, Kix and many others will live on in legendary infamy.

But the rolling stones suck.

And my vote for the best band name... ever... is Seizure Salad.

yep.

Mister Tea on 07/15/2008 4:30 pm

Meh, I don't really hate The Stones, but they've never done that much for me. A lot of people say that you're either a Stones guy or a Beatles guy, but I'd rather take option 3 and go with AC/DC. Barring that, I guess I'd pick the Beatles; they made enough music to where you're bound to find at least song of theirs you don't mind.

And hey, Proto; you like CCR and Black Sabbath? Alright, the slate's clean, as far as I'm concerned. But c'mon, you gotta admit that Boston at least had some kickass leads; the last two minutes of "Hitch a Ride" are like a blowjob for the ear.

xscoot on 07/15/2008 5:06 pm

There was a rock band called Japan, and it was pretty awesome. Thing is, the band members were all from the UK. Their last concert was held in Japan. They did not suck.

MorbidCam (Guest) on 07/15/2008 5:20 pm

Nilus, I'd prefer you not to wish hate upon subcultures you don't belong to, so what you don't like juggalos, you got no right to want us all shot, what next a Juggalo concentration camp? people who say that are no better than Hitler himself "someone is different, kill them"

Misty (Guest) on 07/15/2008 6:24 pm

"Linkin Park is a place? Unless your life really does suck, you're out of excuses for listening to them when you're over 18."

Theres actually a park near my house called Lincoln Park. Supposibly they decided to spell it as "Linkin" was because www.lincolnpark.com was already taken. Sad.

Vanhelm13 on 07/15/2008 6:35 pm

Kansas has one good song
Boston has one good album
Dimmu Borgir is named after a place and their older stuff was good.
And 3 Inches Of Blood is a really good "number" band

But uh. Any band with "ashes" "autumn" or "romance" is bound to suck.
Or any band that uses the Sex Pistols style logo.

Et tu on 07/15/2008 9:38 pm

"Europe" so fecking sucks. Every time i hear that fecking synthesizer i want to stab my eardrums with a fecking icepick. AAARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!!

*cry*

dddddd (Guest) on 07/15/2008 9:47 pm

i think 3 inch of blood sucks myself but i have an odd taste in music

Tom the Bomb (Guest) on 07/15/2008 10:53 pm

I think you all need to turn yourselves into the music police. And Clown, you didn't answer me on Cyprus (fuckin') Hill man. Maybe you just don't want to because you don't want to admit you're kind of like the guy who goes, "Hey we got The Red Skins and we got The Chiefs. How come there are no sports teams named after white people?" and someone says, "The Yankies, The Vikings, The Celtics..." and you pretend to not hear them.

Zomboid on 07/15/2008 11:14 pm

I agree with some of the others. FUCK YOU, PROTO! Boston and Kansas are great. Your indy bands suck and your ears are malfunctioning.

Fear N Loathing on 07/15/2008 11:46 pm

Howabout "Scrote Bag and the Taints?"

HeroliciousDeBlanc on 07/16/2008 1:46 am

i love how talking about bands and music is a surefire way to start a huge argument no matter where you go. internet threads are usually more extreme than real life conversations, but this one is about the same and im surprised.

Kitsunexus on 07/16/2008 2:23 am

Fuck you, Et tu. Synths rock.

Poxpower on 07/16/2008 2:28 am

What you actually mean to say is that you don't like inspirational 80's music.

Asia? Chicago? Kansas? Boston?
Don't see a trend here?

Alabama, I don't know what the fuck that is. And Linkin Park does suck serious ass but that's just one random band at this point.

Anyways did you ever notice how bands that play Death Metal seem to suck? Is it just me? Did anyone else notice that coincidence that every time a band plays death metal, they also suck?

weird.

HowardC on 07/16/2008 3:56 am

Don't you just mean you don't like death metal?

I've found the opposite to be true (all bands that play death metal obviously rule).

Asia, Chicago, Kansas, Europe and Boston all indeed suck. Even for their genre of music they suck. If I want a sappy power-ballad I turn to Styx or Journey, not those p.o.s.'s.

Alabama does NOT suck, it's just country and old-school country at that. A certain percentage of the population simply can't handle old country music (myself I can't handle what they call "new country") but alabama was a decent enough band. Then again it's country, so with a few exceptions, the bar isn't exactly set real high.

Being a good country musician is like being a good hip-hop artist... or a good kazoo player. ;-)

Cpt. Beardless (Guest) on 07/16/2008 7:48 am

Tom Foolery; "Captain Dracula in the Daylight" is probably the badassest name I've ever heard.. it SHOULD be a band! :D

So Protoclown, what do you think about the band "Alabama 3"? Good name, huh? :P

Uroboros on 07/16/2008 10:27 am

Rammstein is named after the city Ramstein (with one letter m) and they are definitely not sucktastical.

Kirbykid on 07/16/2008 11:02 am

I don't know about the best band name, but one of the best album names was the Auqabat's "Return of the Aquabats" Why? It was the Auqabat's first album! That's just awesomeness!

saturnknight on 07/16/2008 1:37 pm

I'm from Newfoundland Canada, but that won't make a kick ass band name, now the town of Dildo in Newfoundland would be awsome.

Give it up for the Dildos!!!!

lol

seriously, apparently Gene Simon's wife is from there

baron von squarehelm (Guest) on 07/16/2008 1:42 pm

Buster Hymen and the Penetrators. 'nough said.

Dimnos on 07/16/2008 2:37 pm

Rammstein rocks and all but there name is no where near bad ass.

scrotum (Guest) on 07/16/2008 3:07 pm

Now THESE are bands names:

Fuck Off - 80s Spanish thrash band
Dog Shit Sandwich - Now defunct punk group
Lunatic Without Skateboards Inc - 80s Dutch thrash band

Butch Please (Guest) on 07/16/2008 5:18 pm

Tom the Bomb - it's Cypress Hill. "Cyprus Hill" may be a Eurasian group I'm not familiar with. I'd hate for the punkasses to look for the wrong band.

Pentegarn on 07/16/2008 5:47 pm

What I found wrong with your opinion is that there is no such place as Kevin Federline :P

rimmie on 07/16/2008 6:31 pm

UB40 is a sucktastical band that did the single for the craptastic film Sliver with one of those Baldwin guys and Sharon Stone.

I need to go wash by brain from that bathtub masturbation scene now.

Dude (Guest) on 07/16/2008 6:44 pm

Because you know the band with the fastest selling debut album of all time is sucktastic, right? I am of course referring to Boston.

Never write an article again, douchefag.

Ian (Guest) on 07/16/2008 6:50 pm

Haha, Matt. You are such a teenage girl.

Peter (Guest) on 07/16/2008 11:24 pm

LOL i totally agree about ICP. Though I do like their song 'Bitches', it helps neutralize my extreme hatred toward women. I went to a carnival for the 4th of July and some high school losers put on the facepaint and were trying to act all tough. I didn't even know these freaks and I wanted to punch them out! LOL!!

(Jackie) (Guest) on 07/17/2008 12:51 am

lololol. boston ftl.

MATT
calm. the fuck. down.

seriously.

& ian (guest) ..ur teh hawt.

Mister Tea on 07/17/2008 12:59 am

"(myself I can't handle what they call "new country")"

Agreed. While "all their stuff sounds the same" isn't a legitimate criticism for individual bands, it's very much valid for entire genres. New Country not only all sounds alike, but it's basically pop music with a fiddle. And I'm convinced there's one guy and one girl somewhere in Nashville who do the vocals for every single song that comes out of that city.

Say what you will about rock, but at least folks can tell the difference between Led Zepplin and Pink Floyd; meanwhile, I couldn't tell Tim McGraw from Keith Urban if you threatened my junk with a pneumatic hammer.

Zorak (Guest) on 07/17/2008 5:22 am

Actually,there IS a band here in Romania,called "Bere Gratis" which translates to "Free Beer".They've been around for quite some time.

Jim (Guest) on 07/17/2008 7:54 am

Ok dude , I am with you to an extent here. I find it very unimagitive to name your band after a city or continent or whatever. However , Boston and Kansas are excellent Prog rock bands that really got a bad wrap in your review above. Listen to Boston's first album , or listen to "Carry on wayward son" by Kansas and then tell me they suck. As a musician I find those bands to be pretty awesome considering disco was popular at the time. The random number thing makes me ill , I agree. Most of the bands with those types of names do suck. Some that don't suck you ask? The number 12 looks like you for example.

Jim (Guest) on 07/17/2008 8:00 am

Poxpower , yeah all bands that play death metal suck. Yeah thats not complex or hard to play at all. How much music have you made in your life? Yeah , probably none. I am sick of people who aren't musically talented talking smack. Every band is better then you , fool.

kenny on 07/17/2008 5:53 pm

Matt don't be a bitch just because someone said something bad about Boston. or to put it in other words as Ian said don't be a teenage girl.

Nero (Guest) on 07/17/2008 10:30 pm

Eh. Not sure if anyone mentioned it, but Rammstein kicks serious balls. I mean lays them down on a curb, drops a steamroller on them, thrusts their hips out and screams "WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Yeah, meme. Any who... Um... Damn, there went my train of WAIT I found it.

AN AWSOME NAME FOR YOUR CRAPTASTIC BAND
We Suck
For Good or for Awesome
Free Refunds For All
Any Day Is Damn Assed Shit!

jerk burger (Guest) on 07/17/2008 11:23 pm

what about rammstein? they don't suck, but i guess, they're exempt, cuz the place theyre named after is only spellt with one 'm'

Mister Tea on 07/17/2008 11:58 pm

If you pretend that there's no such place as Ramstein, then it's actually a pretty bad-ass name; it's German for "battering ram."

And which one of us is Matt?

guest (Guest) on 07/18/2008 12:59 am

Forgot one New York Dolls a glam rock shit band

PolarisSLBM on 07/18/2008 7:39 am

What about the Bo Jackson Experience?

Ian (Guest) on 07/18/2008 5:23 pm

Matt was the one hiding behind the alias 'Dude'. To be completely honest, my comment was nothing more than an attack on his manhood (but iz kewl cuz i no him irl LOL). Carry on the legitimate discussion.

Adam-Wan (Guest) on 07/18/2008 11:25 pm

Hmmm me thinks the "133tG33K2" would be a sorta cool band name.. or "Furious Muffin" for some gurrl power band.

Adam-Wan (Guest) on 07/18/2008 11:29 pm

And let's not forget the most "rock" rock-band name ever.. "Awesome Shark"..... I-mockery can cash in on the band name by selling the awesome shark shirts at scandalous prices on tour :)

bazilisk on 07/18/2008 11:54 pm

I don't know much about them but from what I've heard London and Nile break this trend.

greenimp on 07/20/2008 7:27 am

well i cant say ive ever listened to any bands like that, i tend to listen to aussie talent and all of them are more imaginitive than to name themselves after their homes (cos, you know, they can remember it), and none of them throw numbers into their names to make them seem "xtreme"

El Sammo on 07/22/2008 2:37 am

Those bands all suck because they're not "The Larry Byland Experience"

RedPaladin (Guest) on 07/22/2008 10:12 pm

Hey woah now - you can rip on most of those bands... except Kansas.

Oh, and bands that have numbers in their name - yeah most suck. Except 3 Inches Of Blood. That is all.

Marty (Guest) on 07/24/2008 10:17 am

Don't forget Scottish MoR band Texas. Sucktastic is too small a word to describe them.

Captain Caveman (Guest) on 08/02/2008 9:34 pm

Galaxie 500 were a great band

Atari (Guest) on 08/06/2008 1:25 am

The problem with music is that, all the 'cool' kids like certain bands.
Then, we have all the 'rebels' who try to like different stuff which causes them to, in turn, all like the same stuff.

Then we have guys like you, the people who come to this site, who hate bands like Linkin Park, Blink 182, 3 Doors Down, et cetera.
There never seems to be an in-between.

I like two songs by Linkin Park.
Does that mean I like the band, or does that mean I hate the band? Is it some kind of paradoxical impossibility to like only a couple of songs from any one band?

Blink 182, I like a couple songs, so I don't think the band sucks.

Three Doors Down-- I like ONE song from that band, so I simply figure other people like the style more than I.
I don't look for lyrics with a profound meaning, or 'deep' so-called. I merely look for a good tune, and music 'hard' enough to get me into it.

I dunno, everyone seems the same, even the different ones.

Celtics blog (Guest) on 09/08/2011 3:31 am

Undeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite reason appeared to be on the internet the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked while people think about worries that they plainly do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks