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Boo Berry Auction Antics On eBay.

by -RoG- on 02/18/2009, 1:24 pm

Some of you probably recall the "Create A Monster Cereal" contest I held back in the 2007 Halloween season. It was definitely one of our better contests as far as the quality of entries went, and perhaps it's because I was offering up the super rare Boo Berry costume (only available briefly via mail order back in the day) as the grand prize. Well, imagine my surprise when I was searching for "Boo Berry" on eBay the other day (one of my regular routines) when I see the same contest photo of me in one of the auction listings:

After further investigation, I noticed that the seller of the costume was none other than J. Tithonus Pednaud, the guy who won the contest here on I-Mockery! Turns out he was moving to a new place and had to sell off a bunch of his stuff. Obviously, this excuse alone wasn't acceptable. If it came down to leaving your kids behind or taking that costume with you, any person in their right mind would choose the costume. Mr. Pednaud did have another excuse with photographic proof to back it up at least...

He apparently has himself a huge noggin and was unable to wear the costume without damaging it as a result. Poor Pednaud and his broken heart.

Well, I didn't want to see that costume go to some unappreciative home or to some collector who was just gonna try selling it for a fortune, so I decided I would be the one who would win this auction. However, I did have some questions about the costume since it had been out of my hands for well over a year. With that in mind, I started submitting questions to him via his eBay auction listing page and he was kind enough to play along and answer every last one of them. I'd link to the auction page itself, but eBay always takes them down after a few months, so I'll just copy-paste the text into this post instead so we have a permanent backup. But rest assured, all of these appeared on the auction listing page for all potential bidders to see. I think we scared them off and perhaps that's why I won the auction so easily in the last minute. Ok here goes:

Q: So, like, if I buy this costume and, like, wear it, will it, like, make me ten times as awesome and, like, and international movie star with, like, a mansion and a PHD? Also, do you, like, recommend eating breakfast with this costume, like, on or off?

A: It will make you 1,000,000 times more awesome! (warning: level of awesome may vary). When wearing this costume, you will not require breakfast. You will not require food, air, sex or stimulus. Those things are for the costumeless plebs who scurry beneath you. With this costume, you will be divine - you will crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

Q: Hi, I'm a serious environmentalist and wanted to know whether or not this costume is biodegradable. Can you please let me know as soon as possible? I want to place a bid on it, but wouldn't want to offend Mother Earth in doing so.

A: Biode-wha? You confuse me with you big words and fancy ways, College Boy. Don't worry about Mother Earth. This costume will kick that tree hugging Jezebel square in her 'enviroment' and take her position as giver of life. Worship the costume! Recognize it as your new leader! KNEEL BEFORE BOO BERRY!

Q: HELLO. I AM WRITING TO CONGRATULATE YOU THAT YOU HAVE WON A MILLION DOLLARS IN THE UK LOTTERY! PLEASE SEND US BOTH YOUR BANK ACCOUNT INFORMATION AND THAT BOO BERRY COSTUME AND WE WILL TRANSFER THE FUNDS TO YOU IMMEDIATELY.

A: BEHOLD THE POWER OF THIS COSTUME! You know what I was before I had this costume in my possession? A LOSER! Look at me now!!! I’M A WINNER! A MILLIONARE! I’m AWESOME!!!!! Don’t miss out on this opportunity folks. This costume is a virtual rabbit foot of good fortune. If I wasn’t selling it, I would tear it open a look for a little paper with GOOD FORTUNE written upon it! You are probably spending $20 dollars a month on paper towels already. YOU KNOW THOSE GERMANS MAKE GOOD THINGS! ORDER NOW!!! Sham-WOW!

Q: Sorry, this is kind of off topic, but... what were the results of your urinalysis?

A: Apparently it 'tasted funny'.

Q: I lost my job, my wife left me, and I can barely afford to pay my rent. Should I still buy this Boo Berry costume? If so, why?

A: Seriously? You are the perfect person to buy this Boo Berry costume. Honestly, a job would just get in the way of the hours and hours you will want to spend staring at its magnificence. A wife?!?! You would have no love in your heart left for her anyway! And this costume would violently murder her in a jealous rage as she slept. Rent? My friend, rent is for suckers. All you need is the costume. This costume is everything! It is all. Stare into it...stare into the vast cosmos it contains within. This costume is fabricated from the very fabric of the universe. Stare deeply into it and you will see the edge of the universe. Oh, what's that...who's that on the other side of the great divide? Why it looks like you!....only, why are you sporting a goatee?

Q: I just set my parents on fire because they wouldn't let me bid on this item. Can you please call 911 for me?

A: No. Kindly beat the flames out with your face.

Q: Will I win more arm wrestling matches if I wear this costume? Will it intimidate my opponents?

A: Yes! You will intimidate all whilst wearing this Boo Berry costume. You will be able to shoot planes out of the sky simply by pointing and impregnate women by winking.

Q: HELLO HU-MAN. I ARE A ROBOT. WILL WEARING COSTUME CLASSIFICATION "BOO BERRY" MAKE ME APPEAR MORE HU-MAN? SINCERELY, SKYNET.

A: No. Costume will only make robot appear more awesome and, thus, more un-human.

Q: I like Boo Berry and all, but $20 is a bit pricey for me. Will you throw in a Life Cereal costume as well if I place a bid on it?

A: Life cereal? Life cereal is square, man.

Q: Pednaud, this is your doctor speaking. I've been trying to get in touch with you via phone without any success, so I'm contacting you via this Boo Berry auction instead. I have some troubling news in regards to your urinalysis, so please call me back as soon as possible. PS: Great costume!!!!!

A: Oh my God! I hope everything is alright! YOU SAID MY RECTAL EXAM REVEALED A NORMAL THYROID!

Q: I believe the rumors, but I have to know the real answer behind it: HOW does this costume cure dyspepsia?

A: Please note that this costume doesn't cure YOUR dyspepsia. It cures those around you. As they gaze upon this costume and its awesomeness hits them square in the face their sphincter will prolapse in sheer delight and their bowels will evacuate with extreme prejudice.

Q: If I dress up like Boo Berry cereal, people will constantly try to eat me because they will mistake me for that delicious cereal. I love Boo Berry 'n all, but I do not wish to be prodded with spoons all day long! Please help me with this conundrum!

A: Man up, Buttercup. Spoons happen to everyone. Be thankful this isn't a steak costume.

Q: I heard the sky was blue because of the way the Earth's atmosphere scatters light from the sun. That's a load of crap right? It's because of this particular Boo Berry costume, isn't it!?

A: Incorrect. THIS COSTUME IS THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS AND THE AFFAIRS OF THE EARTH ARE BENEATH ITS ATTENTION!

Q: I suddenly remembered my Charlemagne: "Let my armies be the rocks and the trees and the birds in the sky." If I hadn't viewed this Boo Berry costume, I never would have remembered it! That's AMAZING!

A: Yet another miracle realized through the power of this amazing Boo Berry collectible. But if you're a Scottish Lord, then I am Mickey Mouse.

Q: Don't you worry that a postal worker will try to steal this costume when you ship it out to the winning bidder? How can you guarantee that this will not happen? I mean, it's seriously an awesome item that most people would KILL to have.

A: Postal Worker? This costume doesn't come to you. YOU COME TO IT! Know your role...

Q: Can you please post more photos of this item? Preferably one of the Eiffel Tower wearing it.

A: Sure!

Q: Does this costume work better than the ShamWow for cleaning up spills?

A: No. That would be impossible.

Q: I heard Halloween is a Pagan holiday and my parents told me I would go to hell if I celebrated it. I do not want to go to hell, so why should I buy this costume?

A: How do you know you are not already in hell, hmmmmm? That sound you just heard? Your brain exploding.

Q: I used to call that cereal "Boob Berry" HAHAHAHA! ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS!?

A: YES! BOOB ARE HILARIOUS AND NUTRITIOUS!!!

Q: I saw somebody else submitted a question about having you post more photos of the Boo Berry costume and you posted one of the Eiffel Tower wearing it. I have to questions. 1) Is the costume the size of the Eiffel Tower and 2) Does the costume come with the Eiffel Tower included?

A: Yes! And to purchase the Eiffel tower, see my other auctions.

Thanks again to J. Tithonus Pednaud for being a good sport about it and having fun with the auction questions. Maybe when I get the Boo Berry costume in the mail I'll put up another contest on the site so one of you can win it and it can continue traveling the world.

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