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Bizarre Toy Find #1: Space Knight!

If there's one thing I love, it's going out and exploring the goods that random shops around the city have to offer and stumbling upon hilariously crappy toys. Sometimes they're bootleg toys, clearly trying to cash in on popular properties, and other times, they're simply generic toys from distant lands with a horrible grasp on the English language. If you're really lucky, you'll sometimes find a combination of both.

Now I've covered a lot of stupid toys here on I-Mockery in the past, and even shared some of my recent finds at a Dollar General store, but today I wanted to start up a new series of blog entries here that focus on single bizarre toy finds that I discover in my travels. After all, amassing enough crazy toys to do a full feature piece on takes quite a bit o' time, but posting about individual toys I find here 'n there shouldn't be a problem.

With that in mind, let's get to my first bizarre toy find:

Space Knight! Eat your heart out, Darth Vader!
Space Knight!

Space Knight is an action figure from china that has no back story; the package he comes in has a blank cardboard backing. Even though there is no official back story to Space Knight, there is so much we can gather from just looking at him. First off, he's clearly a big rip-off of Darth Vader. Sure he has a slightly less flashy helmet, but he makes up for it with a pearl-like smile on his mask and bright red nipples. Any kid worth his or her salt would easily imagine those nipples shooting lasers, so that's a big plus for this figure already. Nipple lasers. (more...)


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