Jay-tee (Guest) on 02/20/2008 1:51 pm

So, you're not going to eat the cereal? Boo.

-RoG- on 02/20/2008 1:55 pm

While I'm sure expired morsels of generic brand Fruity Pebbles cereal sounds like quite a treat to you, Jay-tee, I think I'll pass on 'em.

Tristeza (Guest) on 02/20/2008 1:58 pm

You PAY for cereal thats a month out of date and then complain about having no monies left? lol.

But seriously, That Frew libs was just plain ghey, I remember when the back of cereal boxes had like.. cut out cardboard figures! Of robots! Or Dinosaurs!

But never robot dinosaurs :(

Reaper (Guest) on 02/20/2008 2:04 pm

Come on, though.

Expired cereal is like crack cocaine, once you start, you've ruined your life!

GO LISTEN TO GREEN JELLO!

-RoG- on 02/20/2008 2:09 pm

"You PAY for cereal thats a month out of date and then complain about having no monies left? lol."

Tristeza, when did I complain about having no money left? After all, in addition to the Fruity Nuggets, I did buy a box of Lucky Charms and they're delicious. Why, one might even call them magically delicious!

rise1revolt1 on 02/20/2008 2:15 pm

Wait, cereal expires? GULP, wait how long until it expires?!

Vengeful Asparagus on 02/20/2008 2:42 pm

I saw a generic cereal in my supermarket which was called Frosted Mini Spooners. I don't know why but I love the name.

Gourry (Guest) on 02/20/2008 2:56 pm

Hey! I just bought a bag (yes, they don't come in a box) of Frosted Mini Spooners yesterday.

/cry

Great Mighty Poo on 02/20/2008 3:25 pm

Reminds me of the foods you buy at places like Odd Lots / Big Deals or various dollar stores. The stuff you know they only were able to buy and sell back to you for cheap because it was expired long ago.

I could totally see a dollar store owner with one of those head-mounted jewlers magnifying glasses scratching at the box with an exacto knife and pen to alter the date so nobody is the wiser.

Output on 02/20/2008 3:54 pm

Your cereal story was killer!
(get it? 'Cereal killer')

Yizas on 02/20/2008 4:33 pm

How can it expire??? i mean they go to fruity nugget mines U R EATING FRUITY NUGGET ROCKS AND ROCKS DONT EXPIRE !!!

El Sammo on 02/20/2008 4:36 pm

HaHAha. HahahahaHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Thank you output, I haven't laughed like that in a while.

SunnyD on 02/20/2008 4:38 pm

The greatest name I ever saw for a generic cereal was a box of generic fruity pebbles that was called "Fruitrageous!" Look at that name! A single imaginary adjective for a name! Just how wacky can you get?

Robster (Guest) on 02/20/2008 4:38 pm

I'll eat a cereal titled Fruity Nuggets any day. Cocoa Nuggets, on the other hand, leaves me somewhat suspicious...

King Credo on 02/20/2008 5:49 pm

No way! I don't know if you guys have one but my town has a store called Ollie's. It sells these nuggets cereals (there's a chocolate one too) and evertime I see a box I have to make fun of it. I was going to mail a box to you a few months ago, RoG but I was just too lazy. The next time I go to Ollie's I'll take one for the team and buy some to see how it tastes.

-RoG- on 02/20/2008 6:33 pm

Output, that was painfully awful, and you're awesome for having the courage to say such a thing in a public forum such as this.

King Credo, glad to hear you've seen 'em before! Oddly enough, my grocery store doesn't have the Cocoa Nuggets version, only the Fruity Nuggets... so by all means report back to us with some pictures and your thoughts on them. Or, if you're feeling up to it, you can always send me a box and I'll photograph 'em instead.

RaxaR on 02/20/2008 6:34 pm

I've seen that stuff already too (by seen I mean purchased and consumed) and wondered what the hell they were thinking when they designed the box. I've also seen (by which I mean seen) frosted mini spooners.

a couple other prime generic food names, Huggy bears (a rip off of teddy ghrams)
Juice on the loose (weird carbonated fruit juice, but it kicked ass) and some of the best cheap-o soda ever, Mayim Chaime. I have no idea how to pronounce it, but I'd kill for a can of their black cherry soda

Sillygoth on 02/20/2008 6:45 pm

Sadly, there is no "Pavilions" in my hometown. I was longing to taste the OBVIOUSLY out-of-this-world flavor which is Fruity Nuggets.

Perhaps you could taste these things and give us some sort of review, so I could vicariously eat a bowl?

Bibbo (Guest) on 02/20/2008 7:46 pm

Bibbo like cereal! Bibbo like Apple Zings!

Marthaeus Autolykos on 02/20/2008 7:52 pm

Breakfast cereal in general was a bad idea. For most of them, the cardboard box they came in likely has more nutritional value than the cereal itself. The "kid" cereals are worst of all, especially since what's marketed to growing children with particular nutritional needs is little more than candy.

Ben (Guest) on 02/20/2008 7:54 pm

I've seen this on The Sneeze before.

Oska_Go_Wilde on 02/20/2008 8:20 pm

Has anyone wondered what happened to Trix? I mean, they're all ballish now instead of delectable, amazing little fruits. Sorry. I just wanted to bring that up in a discussion regarding cereal.

ZBF (Guest) on 02/20/2008 8:52 pm

I remember how annoyed I was when they did that. BAD idea.

Dungeonbrownies on 02/20/2008 8:52 pm

i miss toys in cereal, the last thing i got was a lame sticker. that doesnt even count as a toy!

Count Mek on 02/20/2008 9:23 pm

Good God, even just the template had me laughing in anticipation of what you would fill in; I wasn't dissapointed, very well done sir!

Tetsu Deinonychus on 02/20/2008 10:23 pm

To ROG:
Have you thought about other uses for that expired cereal? I'm sure there's all sorts of pranks, stunts, sex-games, and arts & crafts projects that you can do with it.

To Sillygoth:
You don't need to have a "Pavillions" in your area to buy this cereal. I saw the same thing at "Amelia's Grocery Outlet", and I live on the other end of the country.

Also, according to King Credo you can get it at "Ollie's" which I'm assuming is the same "Ollie's Bargain Outlet" store that offers "Good Stuff, Cheap!".

Brunbb on 02/20/2008 11:47 pm

Frew is like the less-gay cousin of Mr. Driller.

Outcome (Guest) on 02/21/2008 12:14 am

I remember when Trix went from being balls to being fruit shapes, and now they're balls again. They seem to be following the lucky charms get rid of a marshmallow shape and then bring it back and make a big deal out of it formula. Also I spent most of high school carrying around various giant bags of generic cereal... good times.

A passerby… (Guest) on 02/21/2008 12:51 am

I am a major fan of cheap-o cereals. Though mostly Malt-O-Meal.

Malt-O-Meal is basically pirated cereal. Except legal. It tastes the same as what its trying to copy, and shares a "similar" name with its competitor. They are still in business because they dont spend much on advertising. But as for Fruity Nuggets? Your on your own.

Bartlebycs (Guest) on 02/21/2008 1:41 am

Awww, go on and taste it, Rog! You used to taste stuff for us all the time... Or how about sending it to Proto after blacking out the expiration date?

BiggerJ (Guest) on 02/21/2008 2:17 am

Here an idea concerning that Lucky Charm-o-Matic Bubble: ask us to design board games that use the bubble. Just tell us what symbols are on the die and we'll do the rest.

Adam (Guest) on 02/21/2008 3:16 am

This was definitely on The Sneeze a looong time ago. They did a whole bunch of generic cereals. I don't feel like linking.

incognit000 on 02/21/2008 8:39 am

Fruity Nuggets is an example of what happens when you get your marketing by calling up a third-rate marketing company and get assigned the guy who was about to quit anyway.

The cereal actually tastes OK, I've had it before, but it's kind of sad how desperate they are to entertain the poor kids who ended up with Nuggets instead of Pebbles.

When I was a kid, there were plenty of crappy little toys in cereal boxes, and I fucking loved it. Hell yeah they made a decision as to what I bought. Every damn kid in school would shift to the crappy cereal du jour when they put an awesome toy in the box. It was our parent's money, why should we care? I remember going to great lengths to get one of those do-it-yourself MAgic 8 ball kits out of Captain Crunch, which I hated cus it cut my mouth up like razors. But I wanted that goddamn eight ball, so I ate that shitty cereal for weeks.

It's also a good way to piss of parents who buy cereal in bulk, like mine did. OMG the kid wants to shift cereals again! But we have twelve unopened boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

Tren (Guest) on 02/21/2008 8:40 am

Even though I'm not much of a cereal guy, I still got a kick out of that article. Amazing what kind of cereals you can find in America.

Marthaeus Autolykos: Actually, somebody tested if the cereal box is more nutritious than the cereal itself, and the cereal WAS more nutritious than the cardboard. But I get your point, most cereals seems to just be an excuse for kids to get their daily sugar rushes :)
Of course, you COULD try to give them healthy all-bran cereal, but somehow I feel it wouldn’t taste quite the same…

MrEff on 02/21/2008 9:55 am

Someone really needs to export Lucky Charms to the UK.

LupusMaximus on 02/21/2008 1:28 pm

Next time I'm at Safeway, I'll look for this awesome stuff.

Tom Foolery on 02/21/2008 2:08 pm

You know what a good use for expired cereal is? You wait till your friend goes to work and sneak/break into their bedroom (this will be especially difficult if your friend still lives with their parents, or don't have a job). This is where creativity comes into play. Stuff the old cereal into their pillow cases, under their sheets, in some of their socks, coat pockets, favorite shoes (actually kool-aid mix is funnier for their shoes, because they usually don't notice until they take off their shoes to find a really colorful sock). Depending on the friend though, this could result in mixed reaction. Since I don't have friends anymore, I have using these tactics on family memebers and co-workers. Then again I'm running out of them too.

I-Name (Guest) on 02/21/2008 2:57 pm

Malt-O-Meal kicks all kinds of ass. Like a ninja. I've tasted the Frosted Mini Spooners and they're pretty much Frosted Mini Wheats. Malt-O-Meal also makes copies of Captain Crunch and the fruit berry Captain Crunch, it's alright.

Huggbees (Guest) on 02/21/2008 3:52 pm

I live in Florida so Publix used to be where I got my groceries. You wouldn't believe how many generic products they had. The cereal isle was literally half brand name, half generic. You haven't LIVED until you've tried "Fruity Holes" with a big smiling monkey on the front. Basically fruitloops but, and I quote, "The cereal with holes in it!"

beatpole on 02/21/2008 5:12 pm

I like fruity nuggets, they taste the same as the namebrand, but I have nothing left to live for without the toy suprise.

Frew (Guest) on 02/21/2008 5:30 pm

Leave me alone, you bastards.

Nicholas (Guest) on 02/21/2008 6:21 pm

I have eaten those before. They taste just like Fruity Pebbles.

I can't believe nobody but RoG has submitted a Frew Lib yet. I'll try to start off.

One morning, very early, Frew quickly got out of bed. He put on his LEFT SOCK and his ANOTHER LEFT SOCK. He needed to be especially careful because he was taking a long journey. He packed just a few things but never forgot his STOOL SOFTENER. His trip was going to be dangerous and he needed to take his JAVA COMPILER and AGENT ORANGE. Frew was traveling all the way to Earth. Earth was a planet in a nearby galaxy ONE light years away. As the sun rose that morning, the sky turned JAZZBERRY JAM and the clouds looked like AMOEBAE. Frew BROKE down the path to his ship. He had just enough time to catch the asteroid field and the sun was already getting HEAVY FREEZING DRIZZLE. Just as he closed the door of his ship a SUICIDALLY DEPRESSED Greabble jumped on board. Greabbles love Fruity Nuggets and this one wanted all of Frew's limited supply. The Greabble began to eat the HUCKLEBERRY nuggets first. Although Greabbles are furry creatures who are usually quite friendly-this one was DEEPLY PERTURBED. The furball was really hungry and he started to eat the FRUIT OF KNOWLEDGE OF GOOD AND EVIL nuggets next. Frew had to think fast. He grabbed a DOG-SIZED handful of the Fruity Nuggets and that got the Greabble's attention. Frew could see the Greabble wasn't willing to share one bite. Frew silently slid the door open once again and made a loud STEVE WRIGHT JOKE. At that moment the Greabble was scared and MORE SCARED. Frew tossed the handful of Fruity Nuggets out the door. The confused Greabble COUGHED right out after them. Frew wasted no time and slammed the ship's door closed, catching a piece of the Greabble's fur in the OAKWOOD VENEER. Frew put that clump of fur into his pocket. He said “That will be my lucky charm on this BLACK TUESDAY trip.” And to this day, that was one of Frew's best trips. He brought home bags and bags of Fruity Nuggets and many more stories.

Max Burbank on 02/21/2008 6:24 pm

obey the will of rotato

Colonel Flagg on 02/21/2008 8:23 pm

You made the right call, RoG - I once, in my wild and crazy youth, sampled expired generic cereal. I think it damaged my chromosomes.

Seriously, it tastes very bad stale.

0dd1 on 02/21/2008 9:26 pm

When I saw the title, I thought you were talking about fruity chicken nuggets O_o*.

What it actually turned out to be sounds much worse.

KIDS LISTEN TO ME ---- DON'T YOU EVER BUY GENERIC CEREAL CUZ IT'LL MELT UR BRAINS OUT AND EAT YOUR SOUL IN A CEREAL BOWL.

And now, please fill in this sequel to Frew Libs:

When Frew got home, his (type of person) was very (emotion) to see him and his (pl. noun). However, Frew was less than (adjective) to learn that he had a rare disease called (adjective)-(verb ending with ing)-(type of fish)-itis. To seek help, he turned to his wadded up lump of hair, which had actually turned out to be a (noun). The (same word) attacked Frew. It first went for his (body part), and then it ripped out his (internal organ). Frew was now (adjective), the (noun you mentioned earlier) was now (adjective), and in the background a (adverb) (verb ending with ing) alarm clock rang. It made a sort of (verb ending with ing) noise. Frew then woke up from his (adjective) dream. "(Any word or phrase)! What a/an (adjective) (pick your choice: dream or nightmare or fantasy)!" Frew said with much (noun). "I'm never going to (verb) my Fruity Nuggets before going to (place) ever again. Instead, I'll just (verb) 'em."

Enjoy!

King Credo on 02/21/2008 10:46 pm

Man. A lot of people post here while I'm gone. I need to use my camera more so I'm going to send you pictures soon, RoG. Give me a week or so. And something good better come out of this one. I still have that magnificent maggot which broke in the first hour. It went from an awesome explosion of coolness to a $15 rubber paperweight in no time.

lol thats eggtreme (Guest) on 02/22/2008 12:00 am

oh Frew you magnificent bastard

Colonel Flagg on 02/22/2008 4:08 pm

The Frew-Lib is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time (and that's saying something, given some of the "people" I work with). Maybe this should be a contest on the Forums, after "Design your own Madballs" - it's almost a crime not to mock them, for all the innocence in which they were conceived.

angrygoose (Guest) on 02/22/2008 4:25 pm

I'm not surprised that the cereal was expired, I work at genuardis (its a east coast safeway store) and at any given time you can go into an aisle and fill about 5 or 6 carts with all the out of date food. The managers don't care they figure people wont notice its expired and buy it anyway, which is better for the store than throwing it out. Safeway- our employees have no hope for the future

twelve on 02/23/2008 1:16 am

I love those generic cereals at the dollar store,...especially the ones that come in a bag,...nothing screams dirt-poor white trash like a generic cereal that comes in nothing but a freakin' bag

homor on 02/23/2008 2:16 am

that gerble sounds like an asshole.

i can say that much.

Fluke on 02/24/2008 12:05 pm

img222.imageshack.us/img222/5464/frewlibmc0.jpg

Bavles on 02/25/2008 9:15 am

Lol, eh, if it would've been me i would've ate that cereal! i've eaten year old expired apple dapples (the ultimate generic cereal in my opinion) before! nothing can kill me!!!!!

Teal on 02/25/2008 3:14 pm

When I read "That will be my lucky charm on this CHRISTMAS trip." I choked on my peach and almost died. Part of me wishes I had, so my friends could say: "she choked on an exorbitant amount of canned peach while reading a madlib" at my funeral.
awesome.
seriously, though, who keeps some gross clump of fur that you ripped off as a lucky charm?

Invisible on 02/25/2008 9:42 pm

Someone mentioned Trix cereal before and how they were round now?
Am I the only one old enough to remember that Trix were round to begin with? Then they change them to the fruit shapes, THEN try and go with the round as a "New Improved" shape? WTF is that about?

I don't have a pavilions around here. Just the Buy-Low store that carries generic fruity pebbles that come in a 300 lb bag for like 3 bucks.

bicostp on 02/26/2008 12:28 am

All generic cereals pale in comparison to Market Basket brand cereals. (Market Basket is a supermarket chain here in the northeast. They're like Shaw's but with reasonable prices.) A lot of the time their cereals are half the price of the "real" cereals, but taste the same or (dare I say it) improve on them. (For example, they put more frosting on their Frosted Shredded Wheat than the average Kellogg's box has.) Their packaging isn't as fancy as Safeway, but they make up for it in product.

And best of all they carry Boo Berry year-round.

Invisible on 02/26/2008 1:08 am

I have to agree to a point and say that all generic cereals that I have tried have been as good as, or even better than the original. The malt-o-meal generic shredded wheat with the frosting? Oh baby! Love that stuff.

LeahHighgate (Guest) on 02/26/2008 12:26 pm

If you leave your stale Fruity Nuggets to soak in a bowl of milk, they'll become soggy and you'll never notice they're expired, aka dead, when you eat them. :o)

uncircumsizedfacelift (Guest) on 02/26/2008 5:49 pm

Malt-O-Meal is quite good,and cheap

10 bags of their cinnamon toast crunch for $10 is one hell of a deal

but with my 'Lard Ass Hogan' eating habits they're gone within a couple hours

monsterforge (Guest) on 02/26/2008 11:19 pm

Hey Rog... I don't think the artist had any problems with perspective... Frew is actually a terminator-type death droid who has clearly stapled the face of some poor, murdered miner onto his own soulless iron skull. Take a look again at that second picture and you'll see he has no human face there... HE HAS NO HUMAN FACE!!!! I will never sleep again...

-RoG- on 02/28/2008 7:28 pm

Monsterforge, you might be onto something there, and it just might be the sign of the coming extermination of the human race. I don't want to have my face stapled onto a fruity robot head, but I may have no choice in the matter. The horror... THE HORROR...

Zarim (Guest) on 02/28/2008 10:31 pm

AND HE'S SMILING

TBC (Guest) on 02/29/2008 4:40 pm

The awesomest named generic cereal I ever saw was at Market Basket.
It is a rip-off of Crispix.
And what was it called?

Crispy Hexagons.

The_Funktasm (Guest) on 03/24/2008 8:14 am

I like the cover art, it reminds me of old pulp scifi stuff, like stuff where space-hookers fight werewolves in kryptonite refineries on the moon.

i-bobbery on 05/07/2008 3:22 pm

ey Kids by this chepa generic bullcrap that totally rips off other cereals!

Anonymous (Guest) on 04/21/2010 12:33 am

This generic crap blows. I feel sorry for the sad sack of shit who had to write of that ad lib crap on the back of the box. Unfortunately, for him, that's probably the crowning achievement of his creative writing skills the hack.

Cereal Man (Guest) on 01/21/2011 7:33 pm

Look, I have never had Fruity Nuggets. But I have had Cocoa Nuggets, which is Safeway's generic rip-off of Cocoa Pebbles. It has been years since I last had it, but I remember enjoying them.

The thing that makes Fruity Nuggets special is the fact that it actually has an activity on the back for kids to do. Most generic items just have nutritional info on the back. And I sometimes wonder, who writes those activities on the back of cereal box's? I have a feeling that they have an entire team of rejected authors to come up with cereal box activities and slogans. I like the box cover art though. I don't know who designs the front of cereal box's, but the cover art is ironic. They are trying to make it seem like what you are eating came from a natural source (in this case, a cave) when it really is just a bunch of sugar and artificial crap.

Anyway, those colorful characters they put on generic cereal and those lame-ass activities (in this case, a Mad-Lib knock-off) are only put on the box to make the kids who's parents can't afford ordinary Cocoa Pebbles feel a bit better. I don't know about you, but I don't see that Fruity Cyborg Guy getting his own cartoon show anytime soon.

It has been a while since I last had Cocoa Nuggets, but I remember the back of the box telling a story like the Fruity Nuggets. It told the story of "Cocoa Man", the cyborg dude, who has to go and "mine cocoa" for his home planet. Apparently the synthetic vitamins and minerals in the cereal were good for the citizens of planet Cocoa, and they are in short supply, so Cocoa Man must go and mine cocoa on uncharted planets across the galaxy.

Isn't that sad? I can't remember my science homework and yet I can remember a story I read on the back of a cereal box in fourth grade. Which leads me to question again, who writes these generic cereal box activities?

Perhaps I am wrapping my head around this too much. Despite all the questions and comments I have to say about the cereal, it has a nostalgic charm for me. I used to go to Safeway a lot grocery shopping with my parents as a child, and Cocoa Nuggets were my favorite cereal. I think we should all just enjoy the cereal in all its sugary goodness.