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The Incredible Remote Control Zombie With Dry Humping Action!
I was recently given this awesome Halloween gift from one of I-Mockery's longtime readers by the name of Ava. She was generous enough to send it in the mail along with some other Halloween goodies, and I simply couldn't wait to try out my new Remote Control Zombie from the Archie McPhee novelty company. Why? Because if I truly was going to be able to control this mindless undead entity, I was going to turn him into my zombie butler. Sure, I couldn't command him to bring me full meals, but I was positive I could get him to bring me some cracked pepper & olive oil flavor Triscuits with sharp cheddar cheese. Nothing says "classy" like having a zombie butler bringing you hors d'oeuvres... one at a time.
I can't even begin to explain to you how thrilling it is to point a miniature brain remote control at a zombie, push a button and then have it walk towards you. Actually, I can. Upon pressing the button, the zombie lets out a droning moan (which sounds like a moped engine going bad) and tries his best to walk towards you, but never really makes any progress. In fact, most of the time he ends up just falling flat on his back or on his face. I've tried repositioning his arms every which way, but the result is always the same, with my zombie toppling over as if he suffers from a severe case of vertigo.
Well, I've decided that my zombie is not fit to buttle my needs. How can he be expected to deliver me delicious treats when he can't even walk a few steps without collapsing? He appears to be either defective or a major pervert (possibly both), for you see, while he isn't much for walking, he'll dry hump the hell out of anything near him. I guess before he was turned into a zombie, he was a really sexually active guy when he was alive, and perhaps some of those old habits stayed with him post-zombification. And no, I'm not crazy... I have video proof:
Bet you never thought you'd see a zombie humping the Iron Sheik this Halloween, did you? We always try to keep you on your toes, here on I-Mockery.
19 comments
ColdFusion (Guest) on 10/25/2010 6:14 pm
Zombie sexual proclivities are well known, dating back at least as far as Zelda.
BigMac500 on 10/25/2010 6:39 pm
I'll let the raping of Lamb Chop AND Drinky Crow slide, since Re's figurines watched.
It's pure comedy gold I tells ya
dextire on 10/25/2010 6:58 pm
"Come here zombie, come on... bad zombie." :)
At least the zombie looks awesome in front of the jack-o-lanterns, right?
-RoG- on 10/25/2010 7:01 pm
Oh absolutely! Make no mistake about it, I love this thing... I just need to train it to stop humping everything in the house.
kentucky_fried_negger on 10/25/2010 10:12 pm
oh that drinky crow?! what the hell they actually made a figure of drinky crow!!
That don't look like dry humping to me
bountyhunterseven on 10/25/2010 10:34 pm
everything about this video is win....RoG's commentary, the zombie's frustrated grunting at his inability to HUMP faster, the looks on every toys face while he dry-humps the others....The Iron Sheik looking like he ENJOYS it...
so much win
Joe (Guest) on 10/25/2010 10:59 pm
Looks like that zombie is definitely humbling the Iron Sheik .
snoogans on 10/26/2010 2:30 am
Does he work any better on carpet?
The Doctor on 10/26/2010 6:28 am
Hilarious dude hilarious, that smug Lamb Chop had it coming for a long time.
Kat on 10/26/2010 6:31 am
I LOVE the part where Re's statues are watching in embarassment.
Kudos for taking a video and making it art, Rog.
Kenji (Guest) on 10/26/2010 6:35 am
I concur with snoogans, perharps the poor chap's inability to stride forward is due to your ignorance of zombies' natural weakness to parquet, Roger.
Nick on 10/26/2010 9:37 am
Haha, oh god.
Julio on 10/26/2010 12:32 pm
Hah, I don't know what me laugh more: the zombie falling on his back after you ask him to come to you, or Re's painted Frankenstein and Pumpking watching in horror how the zombie humps a wrestler.
Maturation (Guest) on 10/27/2010 7:14 am
Of all the juvenile things I've seen on this website, this is the juvenilest. Even if I laughed.
Danny 4 Eyes on 10/27/2010 2:53 pm
The Iron Sheik had it coming to him.
Jaimas on 10/27/2010 4:13 pm
Rape your way into our hearts, remote-control Zombie!
Istoleyerkeys on 11/12/2010 9:54 pm
Is that the world's first cheap toy porno I just saw?
John (Guest) on 08/11/2011 11:50 am
Looks like a zombie!! Haha
Peni Gardner (Guest) on 10/17/2011 1:53 am
Damn that Zombie's really humping every his see's.
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