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Dinner With Destructoid and a bizarre menu item!

It wasn't a candlelight dinner, but Niero did his best to romance me.

My pals over at Destructoid are in town for the E3 conference and we finally had a chance to meet up in person last night. We decided to eat at a place called "Ye Olde King's Head" - a British pub/restaurant in Santa Monica. Really cool place that's known for having really good fish 'n chips. Not being big into seafood, I had a burger which was pretty damned good, but the fish 'n chips were truly a spectacle. Those things were friggin' huge. It's like they yanked Flipper out of the sea, baked him inside a cake and then deep fried him. I think just one order of those could feed 3 people and then send 'em straight to the hospital for an emergency triple bypass shortly thereafter. Most impressive. We had a table for about 13 people and more kept showing up from all over including Dave from Cheap Ass Gamer who told me what it's like to be a tall American guy living in Tokyo. I still have to visit/live there some day. Domo-Kun demands it. Big thanks to our host, Niero, along with everybody else who helped make our table completely chaotic and fun time. It was great meeting all of ya!

Speaking of E3, Nintendo not only announced a Mario Kart online version for the Wii due out in early '08 (finally!), but they also announced Wii Fit which will apparently get people to start using their Wii as a legitimate exercise machine. You'll be able to do 40 different exercise routines including things like balancing and push-ups, and it will even track your progress as the months go by. As if the Wii didn't already dominate the market in sales, this is going to be sheer madness. I can't wait to post my progress charts... I'm soooo going to kick all of your asses. Actually, no... my chart will probably just have the word "FAIL" in big bold letters plastered all over it.

Anyway, getting back to the topic of eating at restaurants, Re and I have this one favorite little Italian place down in West Hollywood. It's one of those hole-in-the-wall places that I can't even remember the name of... something generic like "New York Pizza & Pasta" I think. Anyway, the food there is always good and they've got awesome garlic knots with marinara sauce (being from New York originally, it's hard to find really good/comparable Italian food on the West coast in case I haven't mentioned it before - watch "My Blue Heaven" for further proof). One of the bonuses about eating at this place is that you always get a laugh while reading the menu since there are a lot of misspellings on it. But that's not the best part... the best part is this:

Care for a little Tobacco in your Calzone?

Hrm, what's out of place in this picture? Gee, I wonder... could it be the Cigarettes in the Calzone category? Let alone the fact that it's amazing to see cigarettes on a food menu, the fact that they were just thrown in with the calzones because they couldn't find any other place to put them on there is hilarious. Now I don't smoke but I swear, one day I'm gonna build up the nerve to order a cigarette calzone so we can have a conversation that goes a little like this...

WAITER: Would you like to order now, sir?

ME: Yes, I'll have the cigarette calzone please.

WAITER: No, no, no! It's just a pack of cigarettes for sale, not a cigarette calzone.

ME: What!? You mean to tell me you don't carry cigarette calzones!? And you have the gall to call yourself a New York restaurant!? Good day to you sir!

WAITER: But I... I...

ME: I said GOOD DAY!

Look, sometimes I have to live these fantasies out in my head because I know there's no way in hell they'll ever happen like that in the real world.

SURVEY: What's the craziest thing, food or otherwise, that you've ever seen on a menu? Include any details you can about it including what establishment you saw it at.



Noah (Guest) on 07/11/2007 4:09 pm

It was in the dessert section. I think it was supposed to be soufle or broule or something, but on the menu it said "toupe" (too-pay. like a male wig).


cj (Guest) on 07/11/2007 4:18 pm

i saw some type of fondue that was like boiling blood, with pig eyes, and other crazy ass meats. in was in my home town fondue place, the melting pot.


calavera (Guest) on 07/11/2007 5:14 pm

it wasnt so much on the menu but i ordered one thing and got another.
i ordered a donner kabab in a nann bread (spiced meat on a stick in indian bread) and i recived the meat on a stick in a thin pancake! i shit you not, a pancake! wats all that about?


Sweet Zombie Jesus (Guest) on 07/11/2007 5:19 pm

I feel the same way about not being able to find good pizza outside Chicago. What most of you call pizza is a travesty. If you can fold it, it's not a good pizza.

There's a restaurant near me that serves buffalo sausage. It's the most delicious thing I've ever eaten, and I've never seen it offered anywhere else. I can see why we almost ate them into extinction.


Tim (Guest) on 07/11/2007 6:05 pm

Not sure if this is a nationwide chain, or just an Ohio one, but when Roosters first opened, they had fresh road kill possum for something like 80 dollars. I always wondered what they would do if someone actually ordered it. It isn't on the menu anymore, so I guess someone finally did :P


Magello (Guest) on 07/11/2007 6:19 pm


I was in Itaewon mingling with my fellow Korean folk when I came across a small stand wherein there were several delicious odors. I was feeling a bit hungry and took a look at the menu and to my surprise I found, wedged between the fried locust and sea snail, the word hamburger.

I thought that perhaps I had misread, perhaps there was a mistake at the printers but no, it was indeed a hamburger, one that seemed to have come from McDonalds.

It may not seem odd, but nestled there among the various Korean dishes, it was very odd indeed.


JB (Guest) on 07/11/2007 6:27 pm

I went to this one fancy restaurant once and they had chilled apple soup I tried it out and it was nothing more than apple juice in as bowl. It confused me thoroughly.


ElSingario (Guest) on 07/11/2007 7:24 pm

Similar to the chilled apple soup: Chilled strawberry soup, which was, honest to god, melted strawberry ice cream that had been recooled. It even had the red bits that you sometimes find in strawberry ice cream.


action bastard! (Guest) on 07/11/2007 8:00 pm

Theres this little place out in the middle of knowhere called route 247 diner i think, and they have ostrich burgers, pretty damn good. Theres also a little mexican restaurant in my town that sells goat meat, yes you read that right GOAT MEAT! And yes it is actually really good. Tastes like chickenporkbeef, i know that sounds odd but thats what it tastes like.


mr. KRW (Guest) on 07/11/2007 8:27 pm

One time, my family & relatives I went out to an Italian resturant & we ordered calimari. My uncle ate the Squid's head that ended up in the dish (*puke* :P)!


Naota (Guest) on 07/11/2007 9:54 pm

bah, calamari, that's nothin'! in spain they serve fried barnacles. a friend of mine also purchased a can of roadkill possum, but i'm not sure if he ever ate it or opened it for that matter.


SunnyD (Guest) on 07/11/2007 10:07 pm

every time i go to order food its crazy. fried cow stomach, grilled pig tripe, cow tripe in soup. real mexican food is always in adventure

craziest thing ever though was when i was in conneticut, my friends forced me into a "mexican" rastaurant called on the border. worst food ever! we couldn't even pronounce the stuff on the menus. they served empanadas (little foldover pastries filled with jam) but instead of jam, they had beef. crazy!


Will (Guest) on 07/11/2007 10:45 pm

Once when driving through Alabama, I saw a Hardees (Carl's Jr. on the west coast) that was serving bologna biscuits as part of it's breakfast menu.


Dany Boy (Guest) on 07/11/2007 11:19 pm

Poutine in a McDonald. This is madness.


racinjason (Guest) on 07/11/2007 11:27 pm

A friend of mine is korean and his mom and dad would eat live squid...or maybe it was octopus. All I remember it was small and had tentacles. I'm not good at my sea creatures. Anyways, they cut it right in front of me and I tried it. I didn't want to chew it since it was still squirming, so I just tried swallowing it but couldn't. It ended up getting stuck in my throat and I almost died. Good times.


Keith (Guest) on 07/11/2007 11:27 pm

Driving cross country, I stopped at, ate, and stayed in the Big Texan in Amarillo TX where one can get a free 72 oz steak meal (salad, shrimp cocktail, etc...) if you can eat it all in an hour. Otherwise you pay through the ass for it (actually you will pay through the ass anyways, literally speaking). There was a Simpson's episode inspired by this real place. Certainly more amusing than the bear, elk, kangaroo, etc... meals I have consumed.


Volshurawitz (Guest) on 07/12/2007 5:41 am

What the frig is this?

A pop-ova....


xscoot (Guest) on 07/12/2007 10:14 am

Well, I once found them serving hamburgers in an italian Buffet. That was out of place.

But what is currently REALLY out of place, are the kids menus at Hooters. I tell the truth, they have kids menus, and even a "kids eat free day" every tuesday.


Jim (Guest) on 07/12/2007 10:15 am

Remember when we were all mad at France in 2002 and restaurants sold "freedom fries" for about a month? In 2006, I went to a barbecue joint in rural Georgia that was still selling them. The food was tasty, though. They make a good barbecue sandwich and onion rings.


Ivy (Guest) on 07/12/2007 10:20 am

Calamari, live octopus, that's not a big deal. But once we went out to eat at a Japanese resturaunt and it had LIVE EEL on it. We ordered it. It wasn't too bad but it was wayyyy to salty. Also theres a Mexican resturaunt down the street that serves perro tacos. In English dog tacos. Ew.


-RoG- (Guest) on 07/12/2007 10:49 am

ElSingario, I don't know why, but "chilled apple soup" turning out to be nothing more than apple juice has got to be one of the most ingenious ideas ever. It's also downright hilarious. Campbell's really needs to cash-in on that idea pronto.

xscoot, I take it you missed this post a while back?


Ben (Guest) on 07/12/2007 8:25 pm

Pickle Pops... I Went to a Skating Arena/Connected Bar, I suppose you where supposed to come drink while your children skated?...well in any case, I was ordering a Drink, and saw a Sign that said "Pickle Pops" So, beyond myself in Curiosity I Ordered one, it was. a home made Popsicle sort of thing, Made Intirely From The Pickle Juice left over in the Jar after the pickles where gone, the guy claimed Teenagers Loved them. it tasted exactly how it sounds...I barely managed a few Chomps. strangest thing I'd ever Heard of, Although Apple Soup is a Great Idea

Guest (Guest) on 07/12/2007 9:30 pm

A few years ago a pizzeria/Italian restaurant opened in my town. My brother got a menu for the place, and when looking over it he noticed a huge typo: what should have been listed as a 12'' pizza (inches unless you're like me and don't know if two prime symbols indicate inches or feet) was listed as a 12' (feet). I still haven't gotten around to eating at the place, but when I do I'm going to try and remember to order that giant fucking pizza.

And for those of you complaining about calamari, my father ate meals that make that look ordinary in comparison when he was in the Marines. When he was in the Philippines he went to a restaurant to get something to eat, however the person who normal translated everything for them was late that day, so he randomly decided on a meal to eat. He was served some form of meat (he's never told me what the meal appeared to look like, in fact all he's said to describe it was that the meat was stringy). When the translator finally arrived, my father asked him what he had just devoured. Monkey. He ate a fucking monkey.

When he was in Korea he also used the "randomly point at a meal on the menu" technique to earn another meal of strange meat. This time he decided to ask a waiter that spoke English what it was. The waiter responded with "Oh, the very good puppy dog!".

He also ate octopus at one time, which he claims to have enjoyed


jesse (Guest) on 07/13/2007 12:53 am

My sister brought back from Borneo an instant soup mix which included bird's nest. Apparently bird's nest is considered a health food there.


Vince (Guest) on 07/13/2007 1:25 am

Hey Sunny D

I live in Connecticut and have been to On The Border on more than one occasion. The food is... alright, especially considering what passes for "authentic" Mexican food around here. There are only two places that seem to really have good Mexican-style food. One was called Taco Dia, which is sadly closed now. Great California-style Mexican food. The other is called Puerta Vallarta, of which there are two near me. Which, if you ever come back to Connecticut, is much better than On the Border because their menu isn't "OMG Tacos!"

It is very hard to find good Southern/Soul Food/Mexican/Creole cuisine around these parts. Which is disappointing. But the seafood, great.

As for strangest food I've ever seen on a menu or whatever, there's a great restaurant in New York City called Hip Hop Chow. Now, it's not that the ingredients are strange, but the combination of meals. The meals are a fusion of Asian and Soul Food cuisines. It's a little hole in the wall, with a great interior design and two flat screens, one playing Kung Fu movies and the other playing Breakdancing Competitions. Killer food, great experience.


jack_the_ripper (Guest) on 07/13/2007 3:33 am

Ok, in this finnish tv show. these 2 guys travel around the world, as cheap as they can. In one episode, don't remember where, they hunted down a stray-dog and skinned it, cooked it and they had a bet about who's gonna eat it's pitchblack liver.


Lothalis (Guest) on 07/13/2007 11:56 am

Ever been out East in Canada?

Mc Lobster is the way to go!


Sean (Guest) on 07/23/2007 7:16 pm

I was at the Gilded Otter in New York. On the menu I found an order of VEGETARIAN Barbeque spare ribs.



John Butler (Guest) on 08/06/2007 1:00 pm

I once saw "Roast Human" on a chinese food restaraunt menu.


Juanfer (Guest) on 09/09/2007 4:15 am

Coffee lemonade. We actually ordered it and the waitress had no idea wtf it was.

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