emeraldscales (Guest) on 02/09/2008 3:20 pm

Sadly, there will always be people out there who can't tell sarcastic wit from reality. I thought your letter was hilarious; I work in retail and have seen the sad looks on kid's face when we are out of the newest Hannah Montana toy, and their parents don't seem to be raising horrible spoiled kids. Some people should just learn to worry about their own kids instead of trying to police everyone else. Keep up the satire my good man!

Matty Boy Anderson (Guest) on 02/09/2008 3:23 pm

Ummm... Internet is serious business. Surely you aren't new to it??

-RoG- on 02/09/2008 3:29 pm

Sarcasm is definitely harder to get across to people in print form than it is in person, where the inflection of your voice can make it completely obvious. However, as Max said, "mockery" is in the name of this site and it's obviously a humor site and I'm surprised so many of those people didn't get the tongue-in-cheek attitude displayed in his post. Hooray for the Internet!

Huggbees (Guest) on 02/09/2008 3:57 pm

At first I was skeptical, then I realised how dumb it would be to seriously write a letter like that.

Frostor (Guest) on 02/09/2008 4:30 pm

Definitely smells of FARK posters, all right. That's part of the reason I stopped browsing the thread comments there - they are a microcosm of the wild world of message boards.

Max Burbank's stuff is more for thinking people, true enough. It certainly would behoove these non-thinking people to explore the site a wee bit more (though indeed, the site's name should be enough) before they post such comments.

James (Guest) on 02/09/2008 4:34 pm

Not very nice people, them Farkers.

Emu on 02/09/2008 5:01 pm

How come these comments don't appear on the forum? D:

Fear N Loathing on 02/09/2008 5:34 pm

Max:
Looks like getting fark'd is the equivalent of getting punk'd on the 'net

MarioRPG on 02/09/2008 5:35 pm

I think the forums would have loved this.

greenimp on 02/09/2008 5:56 pm

ah, those silly farkers, there not very smart are they?

Macabre Jester (Guest) on 02/09/2008 6:25 pm

To tell you the truth, I think you really have to know Max's style in order to truly appreciate that Blog entry. Outsiders definatly won't get it. DEATH TO DISNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C.C. Comet (Guest) on 02/09/2008 7:42 pm

FARK? Is that still around?

Tayeloquin on 02/09/2008 7:47 pm

Actually, I found I-Mockery through Fark. I DO spend a lot of time there, though, I don't post very often. Come to think of it, I don't post here very often either...

Angryhydralisk on 02/09/2008 7:49 pm

I guess that just goes to show who's the better parent. The one thinking about their child rather than the uptights fag who's making irritated comments about the one thinking about their child.

And why should kids be learning "fantasy vs. reality" at age seven unless they live in da hood, yo?

Colonel Flagg on 02/09/2008 7:58 pm

This was one of the funniest threads I've read on I-Mockery, and that's saying a lot. As I said, it was like watching an explosive train wreck as it happens. But in a good way.

With all due respect, all the people who were pointing out (not so eruditely, I might add) on FARK about how horrible you were as a parent (in more vulgar terminology, in most cases) should probably be taking a long look at their own social skills, if they can't tell the difference between serious and satirical.

I liked the article a lot, BTW. Your analysis of WDP is spot on.

mburbank on 02/09/2008 8:03 pm

I liked the guy who stopped to check his spelling of dildo.

Awesome Joe (Guest) on 02/09/2008 8:32 pm

Don't let it get to you Mr. Burbank. I have a hard time taking anything offensively from people that believe that since the number one is on the same key as the exclamation point, they may be used interchangeably as punctuation. Quite frankly, I can't understand how anyone could believe they have a complete understanding of you as a parent based off of a one page article. I can't be the only one who noticed that every question against Mr. Burbank as a parent can be answered in the article itself. You are a great writer Mr. Burbank and I always have and always will enjoy your work.

Allan (Guest) on 02/09/2008 8:54 pm

The original piece was funny as hell, but those FARK comments were like the icing on the cake. After all, what better way to improve comedy then by injecting the opinions of a bunch of self-rightous asshole who think they know everything.

Kateus on 02/09/2008 9:41 pm

I loved the original piece, and sure, the resulting thread war was pretty funny too. But the unsettling thing for me was the 'She's seven, she needs to know the difference between fantasy and reality' comments.
Because good God, we can't have CHILDREN using their IMAGINATIONS or, you know, BELIEVING in anything. I mean, Christ. Their lives are just already wasted, right? I think those are the kind of people who ruin Santa or the Tooth Fairy for other kids. It's depressing to think I'd have to tell my kids "Hey, listen, the world sucks. There's nothing good to look forward to, nothing special coming and anything good that does happen will be really short-lived."

Purple Man on 02/09/2008 9:52 pm

Well Mr Burbank, you had the Lord God Himself comment in your favour. So that settles that.

LD (Guest) on 02/09/2008 9:57 pm

Fark is just like Youtube it seems... People just tend to bash everything and fight with each other 'cause not everyone has the same opinion on things. I'd say I'd hate this giant pool of porn known to us as the internet if it wasn't for I-Mockery....

I can't see how anyone can have a hard time telling that Max's original article was sarcastic? I mean first of all it was way too formal and nice- especially for Max... :P I fell off my chair laughing my ass off reading it- the picture was priceless, it looks like Hannah Montanna is pointing and laughing at the poor girl.

Keep the laughs coming Max!

�berguy on 02/09/2008 10:31 pm

Both of these have been top notch articles, Max. Remember, the worst thing you can do to most people is to leave them without the benefit of your wisdom.

Peter (Guest) on 02/09/2008 11:04 pm

yeah, i nearly chocked on the irish babies i was eating while reading it.

incognit000 on 02/09/2008 11:57 pm

Personally I thought it was one of your better pieces.

I still hate Hannah Montana for my own reasons. But I hate a lot of things.

JakeOfAllTrades on 02/10/2008 12:18 am

My comment doesn't look like it's appeared, but I will say this: in every age, the roles of Heroes are different, for different reasons. Some may think children don't need somebody to look up to. I think they do. The issue with this seems to be mainly with whom the children are looking up to.

Last year I saw my hero Terry Pratchett at a book signing and talk about his work. I will remember it for the rest of my life. And now the poor man has Alzheimer's, but that doesn't mean he's useless. We must treasure the achievers while they live, so that the young learn their wisdom.

As for Hannah Montana, I have no idea who she is and by the time I have kids there'll be a whole new starlet to replace Hannah. I'll deal with that when the time comes. But to say children can't have heroes of any kind, just because some of them aren't real? That's like telling them they can't be kids at all. Kids find people they relate to. They do that. There's one of my Dad's friend's little kids who thinks I'm a big strong guy who's awesome. But I can't help it if he wants to be as tall as me when he's older. I can't help it if I influence small children. The only thing I can do is be a good role model myself.

Research has found time and time again that the key influence on children is the parents. I know this because I did a research project for school about teenagers and the media. Let's just say kids today know what to take with a pinch of salt. Kids know what's real and what isn't in their hearts.

I'm not boasting about my research. I'm just trying to make a point. Be the best parent you can be, and your kids will look up to you.

homor (Guest) on 02/10/2008 12:25 am

more people from the internet are on fark.

people on the internet are fucking idiots.

i bet they do get enraged at the tv when the flintstones are on.

"hey barney, what's shakin'?"

"OH SWEET FUCKING ODIN CAVEMEN NEVER SAID "WHATS SHAKIN'" I FUCKING HATE THIS SHOW FUCK YOU ALL I HATE EVERYTHING FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIT SHIT SHIT BARBA WALTERS GRRRRRR"

JakeOfAllTrades on 02/10/2008 12:40 am

But the fact that The Flintstones don't act like actual cavemen makes them easier to relate to, and funnier too.

The difference between fantasy and reality is that reality has all the truth in it, but fantasy has a grain of truth in it, and that grain is sometimes more attractive than the whole bag.

Trouble is, sometimes having the whole bag of truth is more important than a little grain of it, yet all the same a whole bag of truth all the time leaves life not quite the experience worth living.

But when a little grain of truth in fantasies can be used to develop a person's ability to understand reality, without resorting to using the whole bag of truth immediately, then what's the harm?

Badgers ate my FaCe on 02/10/2008 1:25 am

It's the internet. What else do you expect when every redneck and retard has an internet connection these days?

Back in the old days, people like that were lobotomized for the sake of society. Now we give them forum accounts!

lol thats eggtreme (Guest) on 02/10/2008 1:39 am

Ah fark,SA unwanted child

autodidact on 02/10/2008 2:35 am

Think of it this way.
Half of the world's population are below average. That percentage has to operate within society with their 'feelings' since that's all they have. So, you get these kind of reactions.
You can see these people in real life...Tell them something that Fark considers a good submission. If they say 'That's stupid' or 'What an idiot', you can drop them in the 50 and below percentile. If they instead ask a question or look at you skeptically, well...
Not a definitive test I know but it seems to work quite often.

Tetsu Deinonychus on 02/10/2008 2:53 am

Another great letter.

Loved the comparison to the Flintstones.

This just keeps getting more entertaining.

Protoclown on 02/10/2008 3:19 am

I don't know what it is about Fark comment threads, but there's something about them that attracts idiots like flies to shit. But it is insanely fun seeing them posting trite images and sayings like "riding the WAHmbulance" that were old years ago and hi-fiving each other over shit they obviously don't even understand.

Here's hoping this leads to another Fark thread and then another Open Letter to People who Read Your Open Letter to People Who Read Your Original Open Letter.

JakeOfAllTrades on 02/10/2008 3:33 am

Before this thread I didn't even know what FARK was. Now I know that there really is some knowledge that man was not meant to know.

It's like the Internet produced what the Necronomicon made us dream of, or at least have nightmares about.

Captain PirateFace on 02/10/2008 4:58 am

Is this another put on?

Just Kidding!

No, But really is it?

Again.... Just Kidding!

Maybe?

Styled Executioner on 02/10/2008 5:49 am

It has been proven on many occasions that the Internet is nothing more than a cesspool of numbskulled fuckwittery. Many sites are overpopulated with faux cynical gentleman in their early teens who think it's 'hip' and 'cool' to call someone a 'fag' or to generally piss on someones chips (A good old fashioned English expression, look it up if you don't know it).

This is just more proof that the Internet, once a veritable ocean of interesting information, is turning into a salty Dead Sea of thick skulled, self-opinionated, pretentious, holier-than-thou fuckheads.

The World Wide Web used to be a sparkling azure of Utopian standards. Where did it all go wrong?

Nonstop_Death (Guest) on 02/10/2008 6:08 am

Internet porn happened.

scottmitchell (Guest) on 02/10/2008 6:16 am

I think it's funny as all hell when people are trying to insult you on one of those threads and they (cant eevn spll). Oh the internet, it's come a long way.

JakeOfAllTrades on 02/10/2008 6:37 am

"Train Man" is one of my favorite books. It's about a young man who is helped out by forum geeks for the purposes of getting him on a date with a girl he saved on a train.

Considering that this book contains a) A Geek who finds love and keeps it as a main plotline, and b) a positive perspective on the power of the internet used for good, this book really had a profound impact on me. It's what got me into internet forums.

And there really are bastions of civilisation on the Web. I often visit a forum that doesn't fight or have trolls. Hard to believe, isn't it? You just have to go to the right places. Trouble is, there are a lot of idiots who distract you from finding those places.

I am not expecting a website that is supposed to be all about mocking pop culture to be exactly like "Train Man", but it seems we are taking it to a better direction than it was headed. This Fark business appears to have opened our eyes to the situation.

If William Blake were alive today, he would have composed a poem about the internet. The Tyger looks tame by comparison, but other aspects of it makes it look like the Lamb, depending on where you look.

simogene on 02/10/2008 7:11 am

*sigh* as funny as we like to find these FARK folks & their comments, I'm absolutely horified that people who sit around nit picking internet humor articles and use language like that to do it feel qualified to judge others as parents.

No matter how well they spell.

JakeOfAllTrades, there are indeed civilized places on the internet, and it can be good. But I so rarely stray from the little corner I'm comfortable in because of all the crap otherwise. To the extent I don't even know what a troll is.

Sounds like a good book. Bookstores are safe, maybe I'll try that...

mburbank on 02/10/2008 8:28 am

i just like to have fun with things

Mc Mandi on 02/10/2008 10:44 am

It was weird, actually. It started out as a joke thread, and then people actually started saying inflammatory things about parents and their styles of parenting. So I kind of divide the comments up into two categories. The comments that were directed at Max Burbank himself and his own parenting styles and then comments directed to general parents addressing their parenting styles. It became like a good old fashioned Fark flamewar. Although, they didn't include the dated random pictures to really put across their point.

I am a reformed Totalfarker...heavy into in the days and I know that half the fun of being a TF'er is jumping into random website's forums and start being an idiot to stir the pot. However, there really was legitimate reason to respond to some people's posts, joke site or not. Idiotic responses to a sarcastic article are as real as the idiots writing them, even if the article was writtin in the best intention to make us all laugh.

So yeah..my two cents...or is that a little too serious?:)

Colonel Flagg on 02/10/2008 11:22 am

I love the way you changed the hover text on the opening photo - from "Poor Cordie ..." to "ATTENTION: You are on a comedy web site." I wonder if the Farkers out there will notice ....

One of the best things about I-Mockery is the way some of the articles and opinion pieces just write themselves.

peter (Guest) on 02/10/2008 12:03 pm

ha what a bunch of a-holes. ha hannah montana will be the next britney spears in a few years, a strung out crazy slut. money money money. who gives a shit about the fans right?

Grishnak on 02/10/2008 12:09 pm

I’d say I’d hate this giant pool of porn known to us as the internet if it wasn’t for porn...

-RoG- on 02/10/2008 3:13 pm

I'm a member of TotalFark and I've always enjoyed Fark as a whole. Plus, as Max already said, they are cool enough to promote many of our articles and Drew has always been a really nice guy. However, as is the case with most sites out there, you have to remember to separate the site itself and the people running it from the people who frequent it and post comments in all the threads. The two are often polar opposites.

Martin (Guest) on 02/10/2008 5:06 pm

i love i-mockery ^^
this is the only internet site that i check out every single time i get in internet

thecatillaccat on 02/10/2008 6:20 pm

Well, I found it amusing.
And I tend t avoid FARK. I don't want to contract asshole-itis, and FARK is rampant with it.

Geminate on 02/10/2008 6:39 pm

We all know that Mr. Burbank got drunk and self-flagellated himself thoroughly, as he does after each story that he writes. This is his way of punishing himself before any of you can. Neener neener neener!!!

Pretzel on 02/10/2008 6:43 pm

I like bananas. I like them, because they have no bones.

Count Mek on 02/10/2008 7:01 pm

I agree with Styled Executioner.
Also, Max, you're articles are awesome, but, as said before, I doubt that some mother farkers or 'tards would 'get' them, because the people reading usually need a bit of background knowledge and some wit, it's not the old obvious, "FARTFACE! LOLOLOLOL" that they now and love, it's somewhat mature stuff.
I mean, there's some articles of your I don't fully understand, but I know it's just because you're referring to something I don't know about; which is fine with me, I just read the comments (Good work guys on that feature; awesome idea) and I can usually figure out the main thing of it.
Just like to say good work I-Mockery guys, you always make awesome stuff :3

Colonel Flagg on 02/10/2008 7:08 pm

-RoG-: I agree, there is a distinct difference between the Fark website (which I enjoy on occasion) and the Fark membership/posters (who in general can be abrasive and senseless at times).

saturnknight on 02/10/2008 7:27 pm

i love this site, and i was expecting something verry funny when i looked into the hannah montanna thing, but i felt bad for the child, because although yes Hannah is a pop fad, and yes, kids are faced with this every day.
I've seen many kids upset over the Hannah Montana movie, hell, almost every kid here in Newfoundland cried because it wasn't being shown here.
Either way, keep up the good work on this site, and good luck with your little girl Max, and i like the name, it's original compared to the names of other children.

Lord God (Guest) on 02/10/2008 9:30 pm

And the children of Israel gave by lot unto the Levites these cities with their suburbs, as the LORD commanded by the Hannah of Montana.

mobo85 on 02/11/2008 12:32 am

I don't know if Larry David likes Hannah Montana- I know his children do, which is why he decided to do the show. Other than that, interesting article.

Jimbob Jones (Guest) on 02/11/2008 2:40 am

Good Lord, I've never seen so many angry responses from "parents" (I use that quote lightly, because most of these people are likely "parents" in the same way that Brittany is a "parent" -- only allowed to see their kids under heavy supervision).

I have a 4 1/2 year old little girl. She doesn't feel either way about Hannah Montana, but she does like Spongebob and (thankfully) LOVES Tom and Jerry. For Christmas, she wanted a Polly Pocket racing thing (don't remember the name). It wasn't hugely expensive (like $35 -- well within the realm of "semi-large" gift for a 4-year-old), and I'd never seen reason to think that Polly Pocket would lead her down the road to hell.

So, the crazy thing? I bought it for her. Why? Because kids will always like things that we don't understand. Just like WE liked things our parents didn't understand. And there's nothing wrong with those things being a part of their lives, as long as they don't promote values that conflict with those you're trying to teach.

She also got some learning toys, some art stuff (she loves art), some books (she's 4 1/2 and reads on a 2nd-grade level), and some other knick-knacks. She will NEVER get Bratz (she already knows this, and never asks), or some of the other "popular" toys she shouldn't have, so her "pop-culture desire" is well within check.

This is basically to say that too MUCH control over what your kids do and have is just as bad as too little control. If you think that all pop culture is horrible, and your kids should just "shut the hell up" rather than ask, then you damn well better bookmark all of the "emo", "how to self-mutilate", "furries", "where to score really good drugs", and "domestic terrorism" forums, because there's a better than even chance that your kids will end up on one, if not all of them, in a few years.

But, by then, you'll have figured out someone else to blame, and new ways to say that those of us that dare let our kids watch "I, Carly" are horrible parents.

And, by the way, to all of the idiots that think they have the answer to being a parent. Spending time with your kids doesn't mean jack if you're teaching them horrible values. Being judgemental of other people you don't know is one of those "horrible values" of which I speak.

Also, back to the original article, kids will want to see things that baffle us -- and if they are safe for kids to watch (as the concert appears to be), there's nothing wrong with them wanting to watch them. Studios are F'd up for making them inaccessible to kids just to get more money. I hate a lot of the "gotta get it" ideal that American society has turned into, but even when WE were kids, this type of thing would have impacted us. Thankfully, corporate Hollywood wasn't doing this crap as much back then. Too bad they've sold the last bits of their souls now.

Jimbob Jones (Guest) on 02/11/2008 3:06 am

Oh, yeah, Max,

According to the braintrust over at FARK, apparently all you've taught your daughter is to be a tool for the corporate f****s at Disney, and don't teach her anything else. Since it was said by the brilliant posting community over there, it must be true.

Shame on YOU!!!

When her first word was "Hannah", you should have nipped it in the bud, but you did not.

Then, all of the "Hannah Montana" supplements you put into her "Hannah Montana" cereal just increased the problem.

Finally, the Subliminal Messaging tapes you made, which constantly cycled the words "You LOVE Hannah Montana. You will WATCH Hannah Montana, or we'll eat your cat. Seventeen people will die violently for every episode of Hannah Montana you miss." was the last friggin' straw!

Seriously, your obsession with turning your daughter into a Hannah Montana-lovin' drone MUST STOP!!!

D-MoN on 02/11/2008 7:02 am

So your kid listens to shitty music. All kids do. It's why today's kids don't deserve good music. I was her age in the 80's and I don't want to say our music was any better. Then again, I listened to Jimmi Hendrix and Black Sabbath when I was a kid. People can dis that shit all they want but at least it was creative.

This Hanna Montana shit is stupid. Don't encourage that shit. It's like saying "Hey kids! Let's be stupid!" seriously. When you listen to bad music you devalue yourself. You might as well give the kids some Gorgoroth CD's and encourage them to shit in each other's mouthes.

Knuckles on 02/11/2008 10:53 am

Why am I not surprised the Farkers would do such a thing? As much as I enjoy the site, the only threads I can peruse are the Photoshop contest threads. The rest, it seems no matter what the topic, turn into juvenile pissing contests that go more off-track than a regular Amtrak run. At least here I hope I can find some intelligence.

homor (Guest) on 02/11/2008 1:25 pm

@d-MoN

you missed the entire point you fucking moron.

THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.

ODIN AND CHRIST TAP DANCING WITH FREDDIE MERCURY.

mburbank on 02/11/2008 2:10 pm

Homor;

Thanks. Jesus fishticks, the density level is just remarkable

Umbee (Guest) on 02/11/2008 5:27 pm

So what's wrong with a child not knowing how things realy are? Personally, I miss the days when I was young and naive. I didn't know what the real world was like, and I didn't need to know. I was just a little kid.
The people who say that Cordelia needs to know the difference between fantasy and reality now have probably forgotten what it was like to be a kid. She'll find out eventually, but not when she's only seven.
And yes, I have no life and therefore feel the need to post a long response that basically covers what other people have already said. Go me.

Misty (Guest) on 02/11/2008 5:38 pm

I didn't post anything on your last blog because I was too busy laughing at the results. Ah, teh internetz, the best place for someone to make funny, and 2000 people to make unintentinally funny outrage.

Badgers ate my FaCe on 02/11/2008 5:40 pm

"I’m a member of TotalFark and I’ve always enjoyed Fark as a whole. Plus, as Max already said, they are cool enough to promote many of our articles and Drew has always been a really nice guy. However, as is the case with most sites out there, you have to remember to separate the site itself and the people running it from the people who frequent it and post comments in all the threads. The two are often polar opposites." -RoG

When you have a site that is wildly popular, such as FARK or View Askew's site, where the people who run it still actively participate in it, you're going to get elitist-types that seem to thrive on a mere "response" from one of these folks. Just because the celebrity in question (although, I don't know how much of a celebrity Drew *is*, but....)talked to them on a message board, this gives them instant immunity when it comes to acting like a fucktard. All of a sudden, they're opining on everything and anything because THEY have been here since the BEGINNING, and who the fuck are you, n00b, to come in here and say ANYthing?

And not for anything, but I tried my hand at running a wildly popular site, and within 3 months, it was populated with the very same jackpoles that infest FARK. I really give all you (youse?) guys credit for doing what you do and maintaining a kick ass site, and if people don't get what this place is all about, then they're just making more of an ass out of themselves for us to, um, mock!

As long as there is unrestricted access to the internet, every single boondocker with a TV has a voice. Woe woe woe to the future....

whoareyou on 02/11/2008 8:08 pm

you know mr. burbank I've been frequenting this site for nigh on three years now and i've read every article (i think) and to be honest I use to not care for your style but you have slowly become my favorite writer on the site. Stay angry and stay Burbank.

mburbank on 02/11/2008 8:09 pm

I do grow on people, but then so do a wide variety of fungi

Rune_Ferret (Guest) on 02/11/2008 11:58 pm

Nice letter Max, enjoyed reading it.

Great Mighty Poo on 02/12/2008 3:28 am

Quite a few giant blocks of text umong those 'comments'.

cockroach (Guest) on 02/12/2008 6:24 am

I'm a Farker, and I have to say the 'we're better than you' crap is pretty strong in these comments, but if you read the comments on the original open letter, you'll there were plenty of 'Max is a douche for giving his kid Hanna Montana' from you guys as well. Lets just agree there are douches on both sites and let it be.

Styled Executioner on 02/12/2008 10:18 am

We've never said we're better (Though clearly we are considering this hasn't delved into the deep dark canyons of 'lolfagz!' and 'stfugays'), we're merely pointing out that people are generally retards.

I don't really remember seeing any comments about Max being a douche for giving his kid Hannah Montana (I still have absolutely no idea who she is, and I hope to never know)on this site. Unless it's just pointless trolling by pointless trolls, which every site has it's fair share of.

Fark seems to have many more than it's fair share.

tbussard (Guest) on 02/12/2008 1:15 pm

To be honest, Mr. Burbank, I thought that the humor intended from your letter to Hannah Montana was far less sarcastic and far more sad than intended. It's because for that piece, I felt you blurred the lines of reality a little too far, and that allowed people to read into something that actually had no serious merit.

I can honestly say that previous works you've created, namely "16 Serious Questions Raised by Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" or my personal favorite, "A Critical Analysis of 'It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown'" provide much clearer the sardonic and dark humor you portray so well. Here...well, it's just awkward.

Sorry for harping on the issue like this, but it's just something that came to my attention.

Sparkster Sanjulo (Guest) on 02/12/2008 2:28 pm

This reminds me of World of Warcraft forums, gotta love trolls.

Pentegarn on 02/12/2008 5:43 pm

"cockroach (Guest) on 02/12/2008 6:24 am

I’m a Farker, and I have to say the ‘we’re better than you’ crap is pretty strong in these comments, but if you read the comments on the original open letter, you’ll there were plenty of ‘Max is a douche for giving his kid Hanna Montana’ from you guys as well. Lets just agree there are douches on both sites and let it be."

But if you look, most of those comments were from non registered members, so they weren't as you say from "our guys".

What I am getting at is our douches are better than your douches.

Colonel Flagg on 02/12/2008 9:27 pm

Pentegarn:

"What I am getting at is our douches are better than your douches."

You took the words right out of my mouth!

And no, I don't mean like in the Meatloaf song, either. That would be gay.

NathanTZ on 02/12/2008 10:59 pm

Just read about the first quarter of that FARK page, and was reminded of the amount of friggin tards are on the net.

Now I may have just started an account here, but as the say on the radio "Long time listener, first time caller". I've only ran into a small handful of websites and forums that are not frequented by people that make me despise this planet and it's people. This is one of them, thanks guys.

Also to be on the major topic, my boss told me about the Hannah Montana movie being out for only a week (She has five little ones all under 10) and I told her "That's fucking stupid of Disney".

This article of yours, Mr.Burbank, has touched many people, have made them speak their minds, and question society and it's affect on not just children but people as well. It's also led to a lot of bitching and finger pointing on who's to blame for the behaviors of children, parents, and corporations like Disney. And that John guy WAS an ass.

steve smashstuff (Guest) on 02/13/2008 3:24 am

The internet is full of assholes. Angry, chomping assholes.

maNDan Jim (Guest) on 02/13/2008 9:38 am

If I had kids I wouldn't let them watch such rubbish. I would deny them from watching Disney and Nick shows and force them to watch sex and violence all day long.

Big daddy Z (Guest) on 02/13/2008 11:46 pm

One thing I've noticed with any site on the net, is as soon as you start to really get into and appreciate it, the forum trolls come out of the woodwork and carpet bomb all the threads with their witticisms as "lolz, wtf u suk" and of course, we all know that the less correctly you can spell a word, and the more caps you use, and the more improper punctuation you use, it just drives your point home all the more.

For example - "You suck."
Proper punctuation and spelling, but the effect just isn't there.

On the other hand, "lolz u suk"
See how the terrible spelling and inane mentioning of laughing draws your attention to their whole message?

If people keep up with crap like this, pretty soon college's and university's will be giving graduate level courses on how to communicate using twelve letters while bleeding profusely from the ears.

Autrach Sejanoz on 02/14/2008 12:31 am

Max, both letters are great, don't worry too much about those idiots who posted the negative comments on FARK, I bet 99% of 'em never read an article of yours in their life.

BTW, your previous comment of "I do grow on people, but then so do a wide variety of fungi" was the highlight of my day.

Captain shut the hell up (Guest) on 02/14/2008 3:02 am

The genius of Max Burbank! A humour article, which in its own right was amusing, but was truly made brilliant by its true purpose- to lure dumb internet people. I-Mockery, for one brief shining moment, became We-Mockery.

mburbank on 02/14/2008 10:27 am

Yeah, I have to say not only do I not feel upset about the general level of the FARK comments, I love them, and I mean that in more than a snarky way. I think there's something amazing and gorgeous about people's raw, unfiltered stuff. It's like folk art.

nota liar (Guest) on 02/14/2008 2:42 pm

NO YOUR LIEING IT WAS REAL STOP LYANG

Jonny#5 on 02/15/2008 11:19 pm

I think RoG needs to give FARK another beating ;)

ree (Guest) on 02/16/2008 1:37 pm

i've been visiting FARK for a long time, and it's a very interesting place. many people who post there are very intelligent, and often have useful, informative things to say on many of the stories posted. however, a large portion of those very intelligent people also have an extremely high opinion of themselves, and are experts on everything. sort of the same way a teenager is, only with bigger words and more nastiness thanks to the anonymity of the internet. (because it apparently takes sixteen people to point out the same grammatical or spelling error in another person's post)

Dr. V on 02/17/2008 2:33 am

Everyone on the internet is a douche nozzle, Max.

harvey (Guest) on 02/23/2008 2:42 am

Yes Max, you should be training your daughter not to enjoy popular culture and instead she should strive to be a judgmental shit flinging monkey just like the FARKers

Cordellia is a lovely name, fuck those people

d-man (Guest) on 10/29/2008 3:40 pm

Ok, I just want to round every sngle one of those fark people up, put them in a room, and force them to realize their idiocy. I know that right now i may sound as bad as they do when they are talking about people, but i'm sorry they are just idiots and complete and utter bastards.

d-man (Guest) on 10/29/2008 3:45 pm

Mr. Burbank, you appeare to be a great father and an excellent humorist, and for that, i applaud you