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fear-factor-pop-ups

Fear Factor Pop-Ups!

by -RoG- on 09/25/2006, 1:46 am

So I was at the grocery store earlier today and about to grab a box of the always delicious Firecracker popsicles when I noticed something new on the next shelf over. Something Halloweeny...

There's no fear to factor here.

Why do the designs on the Popsicle brand boxes always make the treats so ridiculously shiny and tasty? Oh yeah, because it gets people to buy them. People like me. A push-up pop with blood on it and a push-up pop with a bloody eyeball on it? How could I not try these bad boys out? You would've done the same thing... and even after you see how the popsicles actually look, I'm sure you'll still buy them just because the box makes them appear so good.

Wait, is this what I bought?

They kinda lose their luster, eh? Yeah, well I guess it shouldn't be that big of a surprise. Still, it would've been nice if they were at least close to what they looked like on the box. The watermelon one that was supposed to be covered in blood just had a tiny red streak running down the side. The eyeball in the sour cherry one was buried halfway inside the pop, and it looked like a white gumball with no eye-ish traits whatsoever at first glance.

Looks aside, I can say that these popsicles were far tastier than the Fear Factor candies. They're really not all that sour, and the cherry one was pretty damned good even though the gumball didn't fair too well.

In other news, I've got another week filled with more Halloweenish goodies in store for you guys, the first of which is already up. It involves a different kind of treat - a Halloween Cookie House to be exact. Take a look to see how it turned out and lemme know what ya think!

18 Comments

the-ultimate-guide-to-the-hallloween-candies-of-2006

The Ultimate Guide to the Hallloween Candies of 2006!

by -RoG- on 09/19/2006, 11:54 pm

It's finally up! I told you guys last Saturday that I had a big article coming up this week and it's now up. I-Mockery's Ultimate Guide to the Halloween Candies of 2006! For the past several weeks, I've been going to all sorts of Halloween shops and general stores in search of as many different Halloween candies as I could find. The end result? I've reviewed over 30 different candy varieties for the 2006 Halloween season! I'm really excited about this piece because 1) it's fun to finally show it to all of you and 2) I'm still on a sugar high from eating all that candy which will most likely keep me hyper until Halloween '07. Lemme know what you think. Hope you all enjoy it!

In other news, does anybody have a million dollars I can borrow? As you know, I recently moved to Los Angeles, and while I did just get a new place... I would gladly trade it for this house that just went up on the market:

Do you see any girls playing jump rope and singing nursery rhymes in the yard?

Sure, it might look like an ordinary house at first, but if you look a bit closer, you'll realize it's the house from A Nightmare on Elm Street. Freddy Krueger's home! I can't even begin to imagine how much fun Halloween would be each year if I lived there. So yeah, I know there's a sugar daddy out there somewhere wanting to give me a million bux to buy that place. I'll be waiting by the phone for your call.

Speaking of stuff related to horror movies, as you may or may not know, I consider the Phantasm series to be in the upper echelon of great horror movies. The Tall Man, played by Angus Scrimm, is easily one of the scariest and most entertaining horror icons you'll ever come across in a film. Other characters such as Reggie will always give you some good chuckles. And who can forget the sentinel spheres - those killer silver balls that keep on attacking until you're dead. Well, something that's bothered me for a while now is that there has never been a box set released here in the states for the series. Even worse, my favorite movie from the series (part 2) has been out of print for quite some time. And then I see that people in the UK get this:

Best. DVD. Packaging. EVER.

A DVD set of the entire series that comes in a big killer Sentinel Sphere? You have got to be shitting me. That's pretty much the greatest novelty DVD set design I've ever seen. Believe me, I LOVE my two squishy Evil Dead "Book of the Dead" DVD cases (especially the one that screams when you poke it in the eye) but they don't hold a candle to this set. If this set doesn't get released this set in the United States, I might have to talk to Angus to see if he'll lend me a few of his killer spheres to take with me to Anchor Bay Entertainment's headquarters.

You can help show your support for getting the Phantasm Sentinel Sphere DVD set released in the States: Email Anchor Bay about it!

32 Comments

boo-berry-is-back

Boo Berry is back!

by -RoG- on 09/16/2006, 4:20 pm

update: a bit late notice, but someone just informed me that they're re-airing that episode with me on the Food Network's "Unwrapped" show tonight (9/19) at 7:30ET/6:30CT. It's a piece from a while ago and it's all about Berry Treats and I'm in the segment about Boo Berry later in the show.

If there's one thing we can always look forward to come Halloween each year, it's the fact that Boo Berry becomes much easier to find in stores. Normally, the only places I've been able to find the cereal during the rest of the year is at some "super" Wal-Marts and on eBay. Be careful if you do buy it on eBay though, because a lot of sellers won't even check to see if the boxes they're selling are expired.

Well, come Halloween a lot of stores sell Boo Berry (and the other monster cereals) including Target and Sam's Club. Behold the new Boo Berry box design!

The old Boo Berry is back!

YES. Now this is something I'm really happy with. I've always been a fan of the original Boo Berry with the lazy/stoned looking eyes. Starting in the late 80's/early 90's they progressively made Boo Berry look happier and happier. He was the cereal mascot on Prozac. By the end of the 90's he looked happier than Casper the Friendly Ghost - not that this stopped me from buying the cereal, but he definitely didn't look as cool.

Well General Mills finally realized that most people who buy Boo Berry are the ones who grew up eating it back in the day, so their best bet was to keep the old design. It's great to see the classic Boo Berry back in action. I do wish they included some actual prizes with the cereal though. They're too much into the whole "the box itself is a prize!" bullshit. A couple years ago you could cut out the front of the box to make a mask. This year, you cut the back of the box off so you have a poster. Come on General Mills, what happened to the good old days of plastic cereal toys? Give us a Boo Berry pencil topper. Give us a Boo Berry ring. Give us a mail-away offer for a Boo Berry cereal bowl shaped like his head. Anything!

For those of you who are into the other monster cereals (*cough*traitors*cough*) or simply want to try one of each, there is a new "Monster Cereal Triple Pack" out this year that you can buy.

Monsters Triple Pack!

This one contains all the monsters; Boo Berry, Frankenberry and Count Chocula. Yeah, yeah, I know Fruit Brute and Fruity Yummy Mummy aren't there... but those cereals just aren't coming back. I had them when I was a kid and I always thought Fruity Pebbles were better... and that says a LOT since Fruit Brute and Fruity Yummy Mummy came with marshmallows. That's the kind of shit that usually gets a kid's vote, ya know? Anyway, I think Target might be getting the triple packs, but if not, Sam's Club usually carries them.

On one last Boo Berry note, while the cereal boxes aren't coming with cool prizes these days, there is a new Boo Berry item on the market! Remember how I was pissed off at the San Diego Comic-Con when they had the new Count Chocula and Frankenberry Bobble Cars, but no Boo Berry ones? Well, I'm happy to report that the Boo Berry Bobble-Cars have finally arrived!

Bobble bobble, wobble wobble, Funko Boo Berry!!

Tell me that doesn't look great? Now I can act out scenes where Chocula and Frankenberry are jaywalking and Boo Berry mows 'em down with his spooky sports car. Yes, life is good.

Alrighty, that's all the Boo Berry updates for now. Hope you guys have been enjoying all the Halloween madness so far. 2 weeks down and we're already off to a great start. And I've got a BIG piece coming up early this week that you guys will not want to miss. I'm really excited about it, mainly because when you work really hard on a big article, it's always a blast to finally unveil it to everybody. Keep an eye out for it... it might even go up late, late tomorrow night!

I now leave you with this example of just one of the prizes that came with Monster Cereals back in the day so you can see how they're screwing us in modern times:

Bobble bobble, wobble wobble, Funko Boo Berry!!
Real Monster Disguise Stickers? BADASS.

54 Comments

agtyasasdgageehak-thats-the-sound-of-my-mind-being-blown-away

AGTYASASDGAGEEHAK! (that’s the sound of my mind being blown away)

by -RoG- on 09/14/2006, 4:31 pm

So we just got our refrigerator. For those of you who don't know, for some bizarre (stupid) reason, refrigerators are considered "luxury" items in California. As a result, at least 50% of the places out here don't come with one, so we had to buy one online. Well, I don't mind that much since the delivery was free and we got to buy a black one. It really should come with a t-shirt that says "my fridge could beat up your fridge" or something. Black refrigerators just look tough. You won't find a soccer mom with a black fridge, no siree! Black refrigerators are owned by Vikings who dive cannonball-style into volcanoes and then rinse the lava off with the blood of their fallen enemies! Yep, that pretty much sounds like me in a nutshell.

Well, one of the things that goes with buying a new fridge is of course buying all new groceries. After the fridge was dropped off, we headed to the grocery store to buy all the goodies we've been missing out on for so long. Re stocked up on her favorite Mrs. T's Pierogies and I bought some ice cream and a block of cheese; two great tastes that probably don't go great together. But nothing could prepare me for what I was about to stumble onto while I was there:

BAGEL SQUARES!!!!!

That's right, square bagels. SQUARE BAGELS! It goes without saying that I bought a pack instantly, knowing full well that they wouldn't taste any different. I just wanted to be able to say that I've had a square bagel and that it was tasty as can be. In all honesty, I really think they should call 'em something more catchy. Something like "Thomas' Squagels!" (a 'la David Cross, thank you Jill). Doesn't that sound a bajillion times better than Squares Bagelbread? You're damned right it does! But wait, it's Halloween season on I-Mockery. How can I be talking about square bagels or Squagels or anything like that when I should be talking about Halloween stuff?

Jack-O-Bagel LIVES!
BEHOLD THE JACK-O-BAGEL!
Are you satisfied now?

By the way, sorry about the lack of updates to the blog this week... just been too busy busting my ass on all these Halloween articles as I feel they're more important than trying to update this blog every single day. I'm literally working on about 5 different pieces at the same time while also trying to put up the articles from the other guys and finish unpacking the boxes at our new place. Oh yeah, and also going to DMV... that's always a treat. DMV is where nightmares and stillborn infants come from. Share your worst horror stories from a trip to the DMV. This is as close to telling a story around a campfire can get on the internet, so make it a good one!

18 Comments

Forget about Miss Cleo…

by -RoG- on 09/12/2006, 10:20 pm

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,3-2353742,00.html

Did I call it or what? Thanks Re.

15 Comments

a-new-home-halloween-fun-and-a-run-in-with-an-actor

A new home, Halloween fun, and a run-in with an actor!

by -RoG- on 09/08/2006, 4:22 am

Man, talk about a busy week. The past 7 days have been nonstop madness. We moved into our new place in downtown Burbank last Friday, and while the place itself is working out great so far, the move was a pain in the ass. So on the day of the move, we woke up super-early to get a Uhaul pick-up truck in order to move the things that were in our current place over to the new one. No problem there, thankfully. We then get home and start loading up the truck with everything and then afterwards we were going to scrub the floors and do all the things you do in hope of getting your deposit back (which they had better send by the way, because we left that place cleaner than it was when we moved in).

But before the cleaning could commence, the company that was dropping off all of our stuff at our new apartment calls me on the phone (for those of you who don't know, practically everything I own has been in storage for the past 4 months). Turns out they've arrived at our apartment HOURS before we had scheduled them to do so, and as a result, I had to speed my ass on over there to get it all sorted out and show them where to place our storage containers so we could unload them later in the day. I then speed back to the old apartment to help finish cleaning up the place and getting it ready to be inspected. Problem is, we've already killed a lot of time and aren't able to finish cleaning before we gotta get back to the new apartment to meet up with the people who were supposed to help us move in. So what happens? The friends who were supposed to help out bailed on us and the extra movers I hired (just to speed things up and not make it such a pain in the ass for our few friends to help us move in) call me to say they're stuck on another moving job and won't be able to show up.

As you can imagine, by this point I was about ready to tear someone's face off with my bare hands just to release some tension. Fortunately, the moving company guy who usually works as a dispatcher/manager offered to come out himself and help us move in. So it was just us moving in everything and I must say we unloaded it all relatively fast considering the conditions, but man oh man was I sore as hell when it was all said 'n done. Aches in places that shouldn't ache. Bruises in places that shouldn't bruise. Cuts in places that I thought for sure were made of adamantium instead of flesh. Sonofabitch.

But like I said, aside from the move-in hassles, it's been really nice so far here in Burbank. And we already had our first visitor, check it out!

I COME BEARING GIFTS AND GOOD LUCK!

Yep, Mr. Praying Mantis was just hanging outside on our screen door there and while I'm not superstitious about them, I'm gonna pretend that this one was a magic mantis who was indeed bringing us a big ol' bag of good luck. Considering all that we've been through to make it out here, I would've preferred cash, but I'll still take the luck. Thanks Mr. Mantis.

Just call me Mr. Fix-it! I also go by Mr. Break-it as well.

As you can see, in addition to our unpacking, I've been assembling all sorts of new crap including the new bed. Not sure why, but as long as some of those projects can be, I tend to enjoy doing them... partially because of the satisfaction I get once it's completed. No, I didn't just assemble that bed, I built it goddamnit! I chopped down a mighty oak! I stained the wood! I hammered the nails in with my bare fists! Ok, that's clearly bullshit, but it really does feel like an accomplishment when you finish putting something together like a bed or shelves or what have you.

Mellowcreme Pumpkins. More addictive than crack.

Anyway, even amidst all of the move-in madness, our Halloween season began on September 1st as planned! Hope you've all been enjoying the updates to the site so far this month! You can expect daily updates every week from now until the end of October! We already drove out of our way to one of the largest Halloween shops I've ever seen, and I'll be sharing a few pics from that place soon enough - along with some articles based on the goodies I picked up while I was there. We've got so much fun stuff to write about this year I can't wait to show it to you all. Well, I just did a piece on Ghostbusters II which should convince you beyond a shadow of a doubt that it's a good movie. Oh and that bag of Mellowcreme Pumpkins you see in the photo there? That bag was full about a half hour ago. I think I'm gonna puke orange for about a day now. But guess what? It was still worth it. No regrets.

In other news, I was in the grocery store late last night and who should be in line in front of me but Daniel Roebuck, who many of you probably remember as "John" from River's Edge, which has always been one of my favorite movies. We spoke for a little bit while in line and he was very cool and totally approachable. Turns out he lives here in Burbank too (along with plenty of other actors no doubt) and he's quite a horror buff as well. You can check out his impressive collection of classic monsters online. And for all of you wanting the scandalous National Enquirer styled gossip: he was buying duct-tape. DUCT-TAPE? OH SUCH A SCANDAL! WHAT KIND OF HOME REPAIRS COULD HE BE USING IT FOR??? LEARN ALL THESE STEAMY DETAILS AND MORE ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT!

On a final note, I'd like to say something. I love Halloween... LOVE it. There is nothing better than Halloween and it's the only holiday worth dedicating two full months of my life to every year. However...

NO.
Halloween My Little Ponies? No. We don't need those.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a few more Mellowcreme Pumpkins to eat before I puke them all up. Hooray for Halloween season!

27 Comments

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